Haven't posted a journal in a while been busy and haven't had any motivation to write anything. I'm trying to be a more positive person even though I am usually the optimistic one. Lately I've been super pessimistic, I don't mean to be but things seem so fucked right now. I know they'll get better they usually do but the good times seem so far out of reach. I'm not writing this to whine just get some things off of my mind. My life isn't all that bad i mean I could use some more real life friend's, people who actually want to make time for me knowing I would do the same and finding a new place to live is stressful but I know once we find a place I'll be able to relax. Hopefully I'll be able to start writing again on a regular basis. I want to write a book it's always been one of my dreams. Life lately has beaten me up but I'm not ready to give up just would be nice to have some guidance, some clarity and some much needed zen. Well I feel a little better. Rant over for now.