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Latest Journal Entry: some fish just want to be stable pt2 June 30, 2008, 04:57am
Profile:
"An ex-musician that decided back in 1999 to take a trip out west. Starting in Va beach, Va, he travelled south until he reached the bible belt. His 1972 Plymouth Duster decided to die on the highway and he was stuck in South Carolina for six years. Failing to deal with the closed mindedness of the locals, he felt the need to find other ways of communicating with people of his elk. Therefore, he became an internet user where he could meet friends that were in a similar predicament. The black hole of the bible belt is just that: Trying to leave it is harder than getting there." Hi, I'm Jason. (I feel like I'm in an AA meeting everytime i write one of these things.).... Over the past year or two, I have written, and rewritten this opening statement, trying my best to come up with a way to capture the reader with a story of adventure, misfortune, luck, bravery, and a little humour. In the past few years, I've travelled all over the United States, from the Carolinas, up to Chicago, IL, and as of right now, Phoenix, Arizona. I'm a musician, and an idealist, but I am also a real person, that doesn't mind getting his hands dirty in order to make a paycheck. What I'm trying to say is, there is a lot to say about me, but there is more to come as well. I've attempted to make my life as rewarding as possible, and on this page is a glimpse of just that: -My life. "Zombie Intelligence" Opinions: Everyone has the right to have an opinion. Everyone has the right to express that opinion, and everyone else has the right to choose whether or not they agree with the opinion. If anyone has a difference of opinion on any of mine, i would like to hear your opinion on the matter. And for those of you who think that pitbulls are "born evil" you need to look at this.Dreaming: I don't dream, or so i believed up until recently. My dreams were so rare that I'd had only 5 dreams in 8 years. It's not that i didn't remember them. I just didn't have them. When I have them now, they seem to come true in some way. Call them prophetic if you want to. I do. Astrology: Over the years, I've learned how to read astrology charts. It's absolutely fascinating to me, and I enjoy learning anything I can on how the planets, the signs, and how they are positioned compared to each other work out in my life, as well as others. I read anything I can get my hands on about it, and most likely will continue to do so for a very long time. I hate TV: Look, the media controls the nation. everything that we think about, or talk about, usually derives from a media source of some type. We don't need to all think the same way. Stop watching so much Tv, this isn't like a public service announcement, i don't really give a fuck if you go outside and play or not. Instead, just keep the Tv off and spend time with real live people. Expressing opinions, beliefs, and ideas, in a thoughtful manner will help you to understand the world, regardless of the issue. You don't need the media to explain it for you. Your idea on the world is what counts, not theirs. Paranormal: I believe, however, I've never seen a ghost, ever. I've never even been near somebody at a time when they claim they've seen or felt a ghost. I think i have some kind of "anti-ghost" thing going on and it keeps them from wanting to come anywhere near me. I've rented places that were supposedly haunted, and while living there, nothing ever happened. Not just to me either, as long as i lived in those places, nothing ever happened to anyone that came over either. Not that i really want to see a ghost badly, but it's just a little weird that almost everyone claims they've seen one or felt a presence, except for me. Lefty: For years, I believed in duality. I kept the right side of my body free of all piercings and tattoos. I would say that the left side was me, and that the right side was my pure side. Things change, however, and one day I realized that by living in duality, it only gave me half of myself. If I am to be complete in mind, body, and soul, I must merge my two sides together and create a new, whole being. It was a learning experience, for which I am thankful for, but one in which i have grown past. I am now ready to begin my completion. File sharing: Hey, i'm a musician too, but paying $16.99 for a CD is a huge profit considering cd's are made for a whopping 3 cents apiece. So for all those anti-pirate music people out there, how about give the music listeners their $16.96 back and stop price gouging. Besides, back in the day before CD burners, we used to wait for the song to come on the radio and tape it. Why isnt that considered stealing? I understand business all too well, and musicians aren't being hurt by people getting their music for free. they are paid by the record industry. It's usually a standard contract, X amount of money for X amount of albums in so many years time. The industry is the one losing money from sales, and good for them. Corporations that like to gouge prices deserve to lose money. Capital Punishment: Regardless of how you spin it, and no matter what the person did, I don't believe that the way to eliminate society's problems is to eliminate the problem members of society. Let them rot in jail. It'll give them time to reflect on what they did, and learn from it. Life is about learning. Killing off a murderer only teaches him one thing...be more careful. Political Views: Liberal, democrat, anarchist, activist. Call me what you will, but the label doesn't mean nearly as much to me as what i do with my life and who i affect by it. I pay attention to the world. I see things that need to be changed and i express my opinions on them and try to get my voice heard. There are so many things that are just...wrong in today's society, and not just our own either. I really think that people have the ability to do the right thing without the government sticking their nose in the issues and making laws so that we have to do stuff we'd probably do anyways. We are being parented by our government and forced to make decisions that we shouldn't need to. It's taking away human goodness, and replacing it with something cold and metallic. But hopefully, with the few people in this world that believe in the value of each person, perhaps some things can be changed. Religion: Religious views and values are fine with me. Everyone should have their own views on what they believe in. But there is a fine line between expressing that opinion and attempting to shove it down my throat, or even worse, telling me I am wrong for what i believe in because it disagrees with your views. Religion is a touchy subject for most people, however, I'm not one of them. I give out my views when asked about them, but the moment i can see the words, "you're going to hell" forming on your lips, the conversation is over. Animal Cruelty: It's plain wrong, and sickening. I watched a video that showed a man skinning a wolf cub. The cub was still alive while he was skinning it, and the man was beating the poor creature on the head with a club. The wolf eventually passed out from the pain. I can't believe the length some people will go for a dollar. No creature should be treated that way, and i feel for the poor wolf cub that i watched get mutilated and beaten while it was still alive, all for its coat. This type of cruelty should be stopped. That wolf suffered until it couldn't stand the pain anymore. If somebody were to do that on a human, it would be considered torture. It's even worse, doing it on animals, because they can't plead for their lives, or beg their attacker to stop. Domestic violence: What can i say other than hitting is wrong? No, the main difference here is that people think that the victim could just so easily walk away from the person abusing them. That's not always the case. Having somebody that you love beat on you ruins your entire outlook on everything you think you are. By the time you notice the victim, it's been going on so long that they really don't care anymore, and that's when they need your help the most. Unfortunately, the majority of people either turn their shoulder thinking that it isn't their problem, or they feel that helping would be invading the victim's privacy. Either way, the one needing the help isn't getting it. Love: I was a late bloomer to love, but even i've felt that strange, semi-psychotic mixed bag of feelings. Everyone should get a chance to fall in love, and feel all the chaos surrounding it. It isn't just one emotion. It's all of them, swirling around inside your head and heart, causing you to want to do anything and everything for that special someone. When you finally feel it, you'll know it. It's impossible to mistake for anything else. Death and dying: The one and only problem i have about death is the fact that it pretty much means that you are done. It's the end credits of the movie of your life. You can't do anything else afterwards. I have so much stuff that i want to do, i'm sure the time involved surpasses my own life. However, I plan on doing as much as i possibly can before the end of my movie comes around. I have to leave my mark on this world, one way or another. I want people to remember me long after I'm gone. Zombies: Without a doubt, the perfect physical speciman of the human condition. No emotion, lack of spirit, and only one thought...survival. Either living or dead, zombies are simply the most determined creatures in the world, which is why I refer to myself as one. Determination is the only thing that keeps any of us going forward, and the more we are determined, the higher the chances of our hopes becoming a reality. Aside from that, I am a zombie movie fanatic. The Living Dead series is worth seeing over and over. Resident Evil movies are pretty good as well. There are many other, lesser known zombie movies that i adore. Oh, and Frankenstein's monster was a zombie. I have proof.
See, i'm perfectly sane, for a zombie.
I've had a very busy life, having to take care of myself early and learn how to survive the hard way. I don't like sharing my past with people because when I do, they always want to apologize, as if it were their fault. Or they act as if they feel sorry for me, and I hate that. If not for how my life was, growing up, i would not be the same person i am today. I wouldn't be as open minded, or as outspoken as I like to be. You see, everything i believe in comes from personal experiences that i've had in my life. I can't just take somebody elses word for it. i have to experience things myself...and i have. I was born into one of those stereotypical broken homes..and by the time i was six years old, the paternal side of my genetic makeup decided to shoot himself and leave my mother with two young children to take care of. I used to hate the man, however, over the years i've just stopped caring. My mom met a guy later and he helped to raise me and my brother. I am glad that there was a decent father figure in my life during those next ten years. He was a strict catholic, and I had to abide by his rules, but he was a good guy. His name is Ron and because of him, I learned that there really are kind, selfless people in this world. When i was sixteen, my mom fell very ill and died. It ended up tearing her family apart, because of me and my brother, and who should raise us. Ron couldn't legally take us, because he and my mom never married. Her brother, my uncle, saw our social security checks and our annuity, and thinking that he might be able to get rich off of this, gladly accepted me and my brother into his household. I saw through this and was kicked out after only two weeks. I moved in with my aunt melanie, and together, she and i went to court to get my brother from my uncle. Along the way, we decided that I should get emancipated, so that i could gain legal custody of my brother. So i did. After a year's worth of court battles, my brother was given to some relatives of ours, where he lived and went to school in north carolina. I went ahead and started my life, got myself a place to live, and got a few jobs to support myself. A few years later, i tried to join the military, only to find it not to my liking, and got myself out of there as soon as i could. After i was separated, I got on a bus and spent three and a half days riding from Chicago, IL, to Va Beach, Va. Once i got home, I packed up my car and drove, not knowing where my life would take me. I thought of going out west. Phoenix, AZ sounded like a good place to start over. So i started driving.... And then the fucker broke down on me! I was stuck in south carolina with no way to go anywhere. I knew i had to survive, so i got a job, waiting tables at a diner that was in front of a hotel. Everyday, for a year and a half, i used my tips to rent a room. Eventually, i was able to meet somebody that had a place for rent, and i got an apartment. Now that i was able to live a little less day to day, i was able to do things I couldn't do before. I was able to save money, go out, get a better job, and actually have a little bit of fun. Eventually, I ended up with a girlfriend. After we were together for a few years, we moved away from Charleston, to live in Florence, which was her home town. Well, relationships don't work the way anyone wants. It seemed that the girl i was dating was so far up her family's ass that she let them run her life. I wouldnt have it, so we split up. Florence wasn't anything close to what i was used to. I missed the city life. I couldn't stand being in a small town where everything closed after 9pm. I started calling that town "the funeral home" because it seemed that only old people lived there, and they just wasted away, waiting to die. It was more than a little depressing. Times got tough living in that small town, alone, but i wanted to at least meet people. I started hitting the profile sites, including this one. Eventually, i met Lucy, and we dated for a few months. She was the best thing for me at the time. After that summer, when she had to go back to college, she left me with a few words that stuck with me to this day. She told me that i was better than "this", meaning the town, my life, my job, and everything else. She was absolutely right. I was starting to get sucked into the depressing town, and her words gave me the drive I needed to leave it. I got so sick of my job, and the way i was treated there, that i quit on the spot. I called up Shannon, who i met here on VF. She lived in North Carolina, so I asked her to find a place for me up here. I explained the entire situation to her so that she knew i was coming to stay. With some help from Lucy, I was able to leave the state of South Carolina forever...and good riddance. I stayed in Jacksonville, NC for a full year, but I knew it would only be temporary. I got a job working at a diner again, because I had the experience from when I lived in Charleston. I decided to take the time and save up a good bit of money so that when the time was right, I'd be able to move away for good. It took almost a year, but i finally saved up what I needed, gave away all of my furniture, and took a bus to Chicago, where I stayed for about 2 months. Then, after not being able to find a job, I sold everything I had, and moved to Phoenix, AZ, the same place i had wanted to go when i had first left home. Everything had finally come full circle, and I was going to begin my life with a fresh start. At first, it was tough, since I walked into this city with only the clothes on my back. As soon as I was able to, however, I got a job to pay off the debts that i had been staring up. I found a place of my own and moved in. I continued along, working and building up what i had lost from years of moving from place to place. After a few months, I was fairly happy with what I had come up with. I had also met a lot of friends in the area and we were constantly going out to different places and having a lot of fun. A few eventually moved away, but we kept in touch. After jumping from one job to another for the better half of a year, I was finally able to find one that I knew I'd be good at doing. I decided one day that it was time to grow up, so I put on a dress shirt, went to the interview, and showed them what I could do. I'm not sure what will happen next. I am certain to have many more adventures, gains, losses, and everything else in between. However, No matter what I may come across, no matter what I have to go through, knowing what I've done in my life so far has shown me one thing. By believing in myself, anything, if not everything, is possible. People that like me for who i am, and not because of how i look to them. The few friends that i have. People that treat me like a normal person even if they've never met me before. Being drawn on. Intellectual debates, My collection of music, Thunderstorms. Ocean air. fishnets leather plastic metal surgical equipment chains girls in hair falls blood the sight of blood the taste of blood peanut butter cherry syrup caterpillars chocolate going out and partying the sound of rain bunnies!!! the dog that lives behind me pit bulls my guitars my dislikes list taking pictures being in pictures making videos convincing people that i'm in porn getting weird stares going to raves night time skittles sex in public sex anywhere else local shows watching movies being bad getting away with it getting attention talking to people Full Metal Alchemist  Outlaw Star  Johnny The Homicidal Maniac  Dislikes the people, the culture, the music, the ultra conservative, closed minded, homophobic, racially driven, christian coalition that claims, "freedom for all the people, unless we think you're Wrong". People from the south that read my previous statement, and feel the need to let me know that not everyone in the south is like that. I was stuck there for 6 fucking years. I think i know how most people act down there. People that have an attitude, or judge me on sight. "Oh my god, long hair on a boy. I guess it's still the 1950's." People that think they are so much better than me, and have never had a hard day in their entire life. The following conversation: "I'm SO ugly.. I have new pics up, wanna see? But let me warn you, I'm ugly." You're an attention whore and you know it.. get over it. Those wannabe scene kids that dress up and take pics of themselves in the bathroom, but won't leave the house like that. Stop faking it. Couples that wear the same exact outfits so that they match when they go out in public. Seriously, you both look stupid. Extreme patriotism: I don't feel like listening to "american soldier" and "god bless america" 73 times in a row. And they say we don't torture people... Being lonely. People that leave comments like "wow you're hot" and then have nothing to say about my thoughts on anything. Walmart Indecisiveness That scary looking king on the burger king commercials.. i fucking hate that thing!! Body hair. It's gross. Shave! Running out of either coffee or koolaid. People that ask me if it's Halloween...in the middle of February. Badly done makeup. If you can't do it, then don't bother putting any on at all. Logging on MSN and getting bombed by 140 different people at once. When light bulbs burn out. Those kids that "believe" they are real vampires. Yeah.. nobody goes to 9th grade for 200 years. Losing electricity. Mushrooms. Ronald Mcdonald. Sunlight. Country music. The fact that "you're stupid" is now slang for "you're funny". Maybe i'll start saying "you're funny" when i think you're stupid. People that come to my door at 7 in the morning and ask me if I've found Jesus. "Well if you'd stop LOSING him all the time..." Music Too much music to actually list.. but here are a few... extra    Likes: Dislikes: Favorite Music:
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