[ Leave a comment ] [ Add friend ] [ Add favorite ] Call me a snob cause I refuse to shake hands with you. I call you a faggot cause you want me to touch your hand. Hi. My name is U-Jin and I am funky. I'm Chinese but I speak French. Oui oui, gay Paris! I'm not emo; you guys are just way too fuckin' ghey & happy. I have nothing else to say so leave a comment or get the fuck out. P.-S.: Jack my HTML/CSS codes if you wish. I don't give a shit. MSN: noluv4dayungaznunderdawg@hotmail.com The only cult I fuck with:   Because there's a story behind every asshole, every cold-hearted bitch, every psychopathic maniac; no, I'm not talking about those psychopathetic attention whores who worship gore to look hardcore. I'm talking about those who really are mentally fucked. I've been diagnosed with a blood disease that would affect me for the rest of my life ever since I came out the nutsack; minor beta thalassemia. It's just an anemia, no big deal. My blood cells are smaller than they ought to be, which makes me get tired easily and screws up my immune system. I always had to rely on medication in order to compensate with my bad immune system. Many of those medications, if not all, have secondary effects. Some cause drowsiness, while others contain stimulants. Whatever the case is, both types of drugs are addictive, and fucked my sleeping pattern pretty badly. I'm lucky if I manage to sleep for more than 7 hours a day. I lack energy on a daily basis because of my anemia. I don't do much in life. I became what people would call a lazy bum, a slacker. I have no motivation to do my shit; to do what every other kid is supposed to be doing; to live. Hence, I developped dysthymia, or dysthymic disorder. It's just a mild form of depression; but, it lasts forever. Children are known to be full of energy. It was true for me in spite of my blood disease. In fact, I think I was hyperactive, and disturbingly annoying. It got to a point where my dad would feed me alcohol in order for me to pass out and stop disturbing the peace. I remember back in the days at school, after saying a dirty joke, the teacher told me to either shut the fuck up, or to face the consequences. So I apologized. Then he told me not to apologize, and repeated his first sentence louder, while staring at me with his big fugly eyes. I never got along with my elder brothers. They were so different from me. Since they were years ahead of me, they'd pick on me, set me up, beat me up, and then my parents would punish me for fighting by beating me up some more; that's how I learned to be violent. I was the type of kid that'd die for his friends. They were the family I never had. If my homeboy told me he didn't like you, I'd go beat the crap out of you, whether you were a girl or a guy, younger or older. He didn't even have to give me a reason. I was kind of foolish, but it was my way of showing love. I was way above average at school, but my parents thougt it wasn't good enough, so they sent me to a private school to straighten me up. I started working at the age of 13 as a cashier at my great uncle's restaurant. To me, it didn't feel right. I was getting paid by a family member at such a young age, when I could be volunteering, helping him for free. Money never was a priority in my life, but my mom kept pushing me. Most of the money I earned was gone when I had to pay my tuition fees. Being in a private school amongst rich kids didn't help. People gave me a weird ass look when they heard my parents never had a car. The clothes I wore were either my elder cousin's or imported from China by my aunt. My parents gave me lunch money, but it was obviously not enough. I'd end up skipping meals most of the time. I needed money pretty badly, so I started dealing. No, not drugs; porn. It's kind of shameful when I think of it now, but I had to find a way to get something to nibble, right? I was hated by many at school. Was it my antisocial attitude? I don't really know. I had a few fights at school and eventually got suspended. Some dude kept talking about how he broke my nose and sent me to the hospital (it was just a bump on my nose). I kept quiet and stayed humble; hey, I'm not the one who ended up with dentures lol. Even a nerd started beefing with me when I showed that the slacker that I am could easily outsmart him on many levels. Anyway. There were times when it was better off to run than to fight. I've changed now. I'm not violent anymore; or I try not to be in spite of my persistant murderous mood. I never meant to be a bully or anything, but if you fuck with my fam, I will do what I have to do. It's just part of my responsibility.   i once met this girl named JC. she was the type of person that always seemed joyous and cheerful. but that was just in appearance. she had problems. in fact, we all do. in spite of my antisocial attitude, somehow, we became close friends. we were like total opposites, but still we would get along. anyways, the thing with her is that she hid her pain, and always kept everything inside. until one day, she couldn't take it anymore. she wanted it to end. and the only solution she thought of was committing suicide. what is life about? for sure JC thought life wasn't worth living anymore. i guess her hopes and dreams seemed too far away. and she was just unhappy with how things were in her life. so what's the ultimate purpose of life? if you say something like "to love God" or "to search for the Promised Land", I think you're fucking full of it. we live for happiness. without that, i wouldn't be here; you wouldn't be here. as simple as that. what makes us happy is a different question. all i'm saying is, life is like writing on water; there is nothing you can create that is worthwhile during your lifetime, so enjoy life while you can. and if you can't, then it's just not worth going through all this pain anymore. actually JC didn't commit suicide. she only attempted. a few times, in fact. well, that's what she said. and once, she was about to do it. but then she had second thoughts. she thought of me. she told me she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. i didn't quite believe her. it's not like i changed her life or solved her problems or anything. i was only trying to be there for her whenever she needed, like any friend would; and trust me, she has plenty of them. i thought she was acting emo just to get attention. but... =/ even though i didn't believe her, she got me thinking. a few words, or just a presence (or absence), can have a big impact on someone's life. this impact can be positive or negative. every single word we speak, every single thing we do, can mean something to someone, even if we didn't mean it ourselves, as insignificant as it may seem. so maybe i did make a difference in JC's life; who knows. the more i thought about it, the more it made me feel special; like i've accomplished something big; real big. in all of my life, i've been told that i ain't shit, and now, i mean something to someone. fucking priceless. that was a few years ago. JC's now having the time of her life. she's as rich as fuck. she just graduated from some private institution, and she's planning to pursue her studies in T.O. she's been with the same dude for almost 3 years already. i kinda envy her. but hey, it's all good. actually, i'm proud of her - and proud of myself for what i did back then. truth is, we don't really talk much to each other anymore. but she'd scream my name out so loud and act so high whenever we'd stumble across each other. once, she was having lunch in a restaurant next to the window, and saw me walk by on the other side of the street. she ran out without paying, crossed the street blindly, just to give me a hug. that's when i knew she was being sincere back then. i have been having suicidal thoughts myself. i even planned it out - how they wouldn't find my corpse and everything. but when it comes to executing it, i just don't have the guts to do it. i always end up thinking back to what happened back then. what if JC really committed suicide? maybe there's hope, you know. maybe one day i'd be able to smile again like she does. there's always tomorrow. i never told her, but she returned the favour; not once, but many times. i probably would've been gone long time ago if it wasn't for her. (i don't think i'll ever be able to address this issue with you, but thanks JC. thank you from the bottom of my crooked heart.) very few people accept me as i am because of my antisocial attitude. JC's one of them. she welcomed me with open arms despite the fact that i dont talk much and that i look weird. anyways. i know i don't have much friends. i don't complain, since i already have the best of the bests. you know who you are. i don't know where i'd be, or what i'd be doing without you guys. you mean so much to me. and yet, i know i'm the one who's acting like a jerk, isolating myself and wanting to be left alone. i'm sorry. but please keep in mind that even though we don't talk much, online or offline, i'm still willing to fucking die for each and everyone of you.  you do dirt, you get dirt; you do good things, and you're likely to get rewarded. that's completely normal and natural in my opinion. but face it, nothing's promised. there are no rules. even if you're the nicest kid walking on this earth's surface, deep shit happens, whether you like it or not. i've seen it many times, where things you could never even have imagined happen to good people. i mean, how the fuck do you explain that? i'd like to believe in karma and buddhist philosophy or any religion as a matter of fact, but i see reality as it is. life isn't a fairy tale as the bible would describe it. i don't believe in god, but if there's truly something up there, wtf has it done for us? i'd rather keep the faith for the people i love instead of some metaphysical piece of shit called god. and if you think everything happens for a reason, it's because you touch yourself at night. I honestly believe (dogmatically) religious people are dumbfucks. Why? Simply because religions are man-made. Doctrines have an egocentric human view of the world, and yet they claim to speak Truth. The only truth to know is that religion is intended to control people. "Religion opiates the masses" - Karl Marx. Pray, devote, worship, or sacrifice your little sister's life by throwing her down the volcano in the name of God if it makes you feel better. It only shows how naive and easily brainwashed you are. Believing in an almighty being who sets rules and watches over us is like believing in Santa Claus. Arguing whether The Almighty Lord exists or not is like arguing how many angels can dance on top of a pin. The only religions that make sense aren't really religions in the first places, but rather philosophies, or ways of thinking. Atheism and agnosticism are the obvious ones. Confucianism and Taoism are too, as far as I know. Rationally speaking, God isn't a being, but a concept. Whether God exists or not depends on your concept of what God is. Religions in general personnified It, saying "He" is the "creator" of the world, but since It is not a being, It should rather be referred as the "source" or the "origin" of the world. If this is your concept of what God is, of course It exists; of course the world has its origins. When we think of the origin of the universe, we think of the Big Bang. But what was there before the Big Bang? And what came before that thing? This question can be asked over and over again until it leads to the ultimate source of the world [the world being something bigger than the universe(s)]. We either conclude that something has always existed, or that it has appeared out of nowhere; that something being God.   it ain't no secret i'm the biggest homophobe on this earth's surface, and i ain't even religious. gay pride, wtf is that? ain't nothin' to be proud of. it's like a lousy excuse to get attention. fuck that, keep it to yourself faggot. i ain't tryin'a hear it. what's wrong with being queer, you ask? ain't shit, as long as you don't show it. no one needs to know how much you love the cock, so shut the fuck up. and for the bisexuals who would ask "why stick to one sex when you can get both? two sexes, twice the pleasure!" how about doing a donkey? that's exponential pleasure. i'm not here to argue whether it's right or wrong, simply because human values are relative. you do wtf you wanna do with your life, but please spare us the details. homosexuality, necrophilia, scat, incest, whatever; i don't care, and i don't wanna know. fuckin' faggot.  would i be racist if i claimed white america is more racist than any other visible ethnic minority in america? to some, i'd be speaking the obvious. for others, i'd be a damn racist myself for making such an outrageous claim. i am aware that my opinion is biased due to the fact that i am part of a visible ethnic minority, but i am sure that the arguments i'm advancing can be backed up statistically with some research. being the internet asshole that i am, i get a lot of hate mail. what surprised me is that many of them had to resort to racial slurs in order to come up with a diss. and no, i don't do those e-fight things. i usually reply them with a "i bet you're white", and i am right 9 times out of 10 (i never was wrong either, but i just can't say i will always be right). shit figures. black folks should know better than dissing asians because of their skin color, right? asians should know better than talking shit about jews. jews should know not to fuck with natives. you see where i'm getting at? we all share the same struggle. we all respect where we came from. as for caucasians, they just don't give a fuck. they have a superiority complex because the western world is ruled by white men. fuck that, i hope obama wins. truth is, north america belongs to the natives. enslaved black people made the united states a prosperous country. the chinese people unified the canada we know of today through the railroads they built. we all played our parts. people should learn their own history before talking that bullshit on each other. recognize, show some gratitude. funny thing is, i never get any racist comments in real life. people only dare to talk shit when they remain anonymous. i believe some people have an erroneous notion of what freedom of speech is. you can say whatever the fuck you want, but you gotta watch what you say or you will have to face the consequences. your freedom ends where someone else's freedom starts, and if you don't respect that, you will get clapped one day or another. and yeah, i talk shit too but i back it up, and i'm not scared to say it in front of anyone. so there you have it, white america is more racist than any other ethnic minority in america.   What's up with those rock/punk/metal fans hating on hip hop? I see a lot of metalheads talking about how metal is real music, and how rap is not. Why? Why rap and not any other music genre like country or italian opera? In my opinion, it's okay to dislike a music genre because of personal musical preferences, but not to hate on it. If you do, then we have a problem. I personally believe those people are racist. Always blame it on the black guy, right? They consider rap music as nigger noise, and therefore they hate on it. Keep in mind that hip hop is not just music; it's a culture, a lifestyle, a movement. And to many of us, me amongst them, hip hop played a fatherly role in our lives. Rap music educates the children. It's rhythmic poetry, knowledge on a beat, street philosophy. If you're hating on a particular culture, you are racist. If you think a culture is better than another, you are racist. And even if you deny being racist, you are racist; you just don't know it yet. Some people associate rap music with gangsterism because of its explicit and violent lyrics. However, since the emergence of rap music in the 90's, there has been a significant decrease in crime rate in America. Of course, this does not mean rap music lowers the crime rate, but it clearly does not show the opposite either. A song about violence is nothing more but a song about violence. Gangsta rap is not music about inciting people to do crimes. It's simply about being treated as criminals because of your music. The same way N.W.A. was getting threats from the feds; the same way 2pac was found guilty of a crime he obviously did not commit, and got murdered right in front of F.B.I. agents who refused to cooperate with the investigation. And guess what, he never considered himself as a gangsta rapper. So they say hip hop degrades women. And how? Usually when an artist talks about bitches in one of his songs, he literally means bitches; not women in general. And yeah, sometimes 'bitch' can also be meant in a good way lol. Now I must admit that there are a few artists that sound awfully misogynistic, but that's not representative of hip hop as a whole at all. Also, the chicks dancing around half naked in the music videos is the product of corporate rap. We all know sex sells, right? Your music video won't get played unless you get some steaming hot chicks in it, no matter how good your song is. Now the new trend is to come up with a catchy dance or a ringtone, but then you'd be labelled as a gimmick rapper. Often the rap artists who decide to stay true to what hip hop really is remain underground and unknown. With that being said, 9 times out of 10, what you see on TV doesn't represent real hip hop. Some might think hip hop glorifies the use of drugs. I can't lie, it is what it is. Alcohol, not that much; it's mostly about that weed. A lot of people have a stigma attached to weed only because it's an illegal drug. But in reality, weed is less harmful than tobacco and alcohol. It's not even addictive. It's just a stress reliever. Yes, there are important side effects and risks to it, but it's just not as bad as you think it is. You never hear about someone doing violent crimes because they were high on weed, do you? Also, I've never heard about a rapper glorifying the use of other drugs such as cocaine or heroin. That would be plain dumb. They may rap about selling it and feeding their family off the dirty money they make out of it, but they'll never glorify the use of it. In my opinion, selling drugs is not a crime, just an honest mistake. What people don't realize is that hip hop is in itself a movement against racism. Not only there's a lot of songs written to expose racism and teach the people, people from all around the world listen to rap music no matter where they came from or what color their skin is. People from different ethnic background can relate to the lyrics; they all share a same point in common, and that helps them understand each other, get closer together. If you disapprove this anti-racism movement, then you're prolly racist yourself. It's a lot bigger than you think.  I know I'm not from the States. I know I'm not Black. I'm not even into politics. But yet, ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to see a black President. And that was way before I ever heard of that Obama dude. You might see it as discrimination or racism since I'm favoring certain individuals based on their skin color; well, it is what it is then. I just wanna see some balance, you know. Direction never really changes all that much; in a positive way at least. But, a baby step towards the right direction is always a good thing. However this time, in my most humble opinion, the two options available are bigger steps, therefore they outweight the babysteps: a step agains racial discrimination (Obama), or a step against gender discrimination (Hillary). So as long as they do a decent job, who gives a fuck about their policies? I certainly don't since I'm not from the States lol. So why would I chose a step againt racial discrimination instead of gender discrimination? Well, I guess I'm biased. I don't know how it feels to be a woman. But the thing is, no matter how much power we give the women, no matter how well they're paid, the bottom line is, we are different. They will get raped as long as men don't control themselves. They will get beat up as long as men are physically stronger than they are. They will get pregnant, and maybe have to bear a child regardless whether the man is there or not. Nothing can change that. It's not about salary, it's about reality. And yeah, being a woman has its advantages too. Racism is different. It's being taught more than anything. For instance, the German and the Japanese folks used to be viewed as evil people by the occidental world prior to WWII; now they're like the Americans' best friends. Better yet, look at the muslims; ever since that 9-11 event, they're all suspected for being terrorists. We are actually being brainwashed by the media into liking or disliking certain individuals due to their ethnicities or religions. Having a black President would certainly change the complexion of white America, although chances are high that he will get assissinated if ever he manages to make it to the throne. I wish him the best of luck though. And maybe one day the Americans will get a Latin President, and the Canadians a Native Prime Minister (lol).   I know some kids that are struggling through high school, but they're way smarter than some McGill (supposedly amongst the top 5 universities in the world) graduates. I can give names, but I won't. School exams don't really test your intelligence much. It just shows how well you've studied, and your ability (not capacity) to (temporarily) absorb/process information. But keep in mind that there's a wide variety of factors that will affect your academic performance; a whole lot of bullshit. Now let the bitching begin; I don't understand some people. What's the point in getting a university degree when you haven't even learned the basics yet? Learn to make your own food instead of relying on microwave, fast food orders, and leeching off other people. Learn to dress up, and not like a friggin' geek with the belt attached over the belly. Learn to interact and communicate with people effeciently, and not just with your alikes. Also, I give more credit to the person who have the ability to learn by himself rather than being taught through books or by a teacher. Street smart > book smart, and that's just common sense. Having a doctorate doesn't mean you can be a stuck up and narrow-minded prick; no matter how far you go in life, no matter how much knowledge you've amassed through the years, and no matter how great you are, you will always have something to learn - even from kids, homeless people, and criminals. Be smart.  Kids might not always do well in school, but often it is not them who needs a teaching, but rather the parents. I know some kids who get depressive and/or suicidal because of the pressure they get from their parents, and shit, they do way above average in school. The thing about parents; nobody ever taught them how to be parents. They're improvising. Some are better than others, some suck but they're trying as hard as they can, and some others should've never had children. Kids aren't dumb. They want to succeed. They want to do well, and make people around them proud. But you know, we all make mistakes. You might want your child to be perfect, but you know that won't happen; face the reality. When they screw up on a test, tell them they've made a mistake, but they're not a mistake. Give them the support they need. And not just financial support. You could have all the money in the world and still be poor. Being poor is a state of mind. Let them know you got their back. You know, it's hard to carry on when no one loves you. If you tell them they ain't shit, they won't know better, therefore they cannot do better. They will lose hope. Instead, be a role model. Let them know you love them even though they mess up. Reward them when they try hard. Spoil them when they do good. And don't ever make fun of their ambitions and dreams, as silly as they might sound sometimes; that shit is a killer, trust me. They might become heroes one day, you just don't know it yet. Kids, put your parents back on the right track.   And I don't think many people do. They're just brainwashed into following the law, thinking it really represents something. People here often think what's legal is okay, and what's illegal is just dead wrong. They don't think, they obey. Same thing with religious people; they seek guidance from above and follow it blindly. According to confucian philosophy, having to rely on law and the whole justice system in order to avoid chaos represents a failure in the society. People should be morally virtuous instead, and do what's right. In other words, don't use the law; teach and discipline them. The problem with that is that some people are very self-centered. They don't think of others, they only think of what's right for them. Ethics are relative. You kill my man, I kill your bitch, now we're even; blood money. It's not a crime, it's a justice hit. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with killing. It is a competitive world afterall; survival of the fittest. But if you're allowed to do it, then I should be allowed too. If cops are allowed to kill niggers, then niggers should be allowed to kill cops too. If Bush is allowed to kill Iraqis, then why can't Saddam do it? I mean, come on, it's his own people. Everyone should have a licence to kill Bush with all the bullshit he's given to the world anyway. Equality for all.  I haven't had any encounters with the police lately, and that's mainly because I avoid the places they patrol regularly. They can be so predictable at times. Anyways, if you're a cop and you're reading this, please don't arrest me. People don't respect the badge, they respect the gun. As far as I can remember, when I was a kid, my friends and I would stare at the gun whenever we see a policeman. No one ever gave a fuck about the badge. The revolver represents oppression, since we don't have the right to bear arms. So if you still think they have anything to do with justice, think again. Police officers are human beings. They're not perfect. Far from it. Whenever they feel pain, jealousy, anger, or hatred, they just take it out on some random sucker they encounter to let off some steam. They have power, and it's only normal they use and abuse it. I noticed white cops would usually run upon black kids, and black cops would pick on white kids. Unfortunaltely, there aren't many cops from visible ethnic minorities. Anyways, racism; everyone is somewhat racist, even though they'd claim they aren't. And most of them don't even know they're racist. But if we record their heartbeat or blood pressure when they're approached by a group of people from a certain ethnic minority, the result would speak for itself. We love seeing cops on TV, chasing niggers, risking their lives, acting all heroic and shit. But face it, that's not how reality is. They're lazy. They're scared to die. And yeah, they're pigs. Let's say someone broke into your house and robbed your shit. You call the cops; the first person they suspect is prolly gonna be yourself (especially if you're black) and question you. Some of the questions might be tricked. Then they'd walk around the house for a bit and say there's no one there anymore, and leave. That's it. No investigation, no fingerprinting. They don't solve problems, they're only part of it. Police officers don't have much to do in cities with low crime rates. But if the precint finds out, they're gonna get transferred to some other sector afar, or better yet, they're gonna lose their job. So what do they do to avoid that? They incite and provoke innocent people into doing something criminal. They talk slick, mock, and act like smart-asses just to piss the shit out of you. You're fucked if you lose your temper. Either way, enforcing the law isn't a way to strengthen justice, but rather an attempt to control the society.   Breathe. Smile. Fart. Let it go. Don't accumulate that pressure up in your ass. Literally. Chill. Don't take things too seriously. Shit happens. It's not the end of the world. Learn to have fun. Enjoy your life. Look up in the sky. Laugh. Cry. Real men don't cry? Fuck you. Don't accumulate all that pain up in your heart. Let it all go. You'll feel so much better afterwards. Don't ignore your wounds, heal yourself. Relax. Make yourself at home, wherever you are. Don't stress things out. Don't make the deal bigger than it is. Don't dramatize every single shit that happens; you're just digging your own grave. And for fuck's sake, don't blame others for your own prob'ms. Focus on what's important. Sometimes we're so caught up with the useless bullshit in our lives that we forget what's essential. Take your time to live. Take things one step at a time. Don't accumulate all that shit up in your mind. If a friend has done you harm in the past in any way, smack that bitch up in the face. Or just talk about it. Don't hold grudges. But be sure to let that friend know it's all love. If the bitch is acting up, then the "friend" never was a friend in the first place, just a damn snake. Good fucking riddance. People often think of hating as a way to harm others. Think about it; the only person you're harming is yourself. Stop hating. Let that blood pressure go down a bit. Free your heart, free your mind, free your spirit. Forgive but don't forget. If you have a problem with someone, deal with it rationally. Think. Don't let your ego take over the situation. Swallow your pride. Use your brains. Drugs don't let you escape your prob'ms, it's just a damn illusion; and try not to get yourself more problems when doing drugs. If you want something, then just fucking go for it. Seize the day, seize the opportunity. Don't hold back. Don't procrastinate. Whatever it is that you want, blue-grey hair or your nipples pierced, as long as you're not harming anyone. And fuck what others think. Don't be scared to be different. Don't be scared to stand out. Don't be scared to walk your own path and be a leader. It is the little silly things we do in our daily lives that make it much more interesting. Take risks. Take chances. You'll never see try-umph unless you try. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one can hear you. Masturbate like God isn't all-knowing. Smile like a retarded ghey fairy. Love like there is no tomorrow. Live, suffer, celebrate. Be real. Last but not least, don't quote me. Think for yourself.  |
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