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bLooDLustBLONDIE
"It's a pity you didn't know when you started your game of murder that I was playing, too."
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Latest Journal Entry: Heh..accurate March 02, 2010, 05:59pm
Profile: Society has developed all of these definitions and types and explanations throughout the years, scientists and psychologists thinking they have made progress, when very often people or situations come around that can't be explained fully by anything. I think thats when people get unreasonable and just push a category onto those things, a definition that doesn't fit - either because such "experts" are too stubborn to admit when they have stumbled upon something out of their reach, or because they are too comfortable with the way they set things up to venture beyond. This can potentially force abnormal individuals into corners in society which I am sure frustrates them. The truth is, nothing is certain and anything is possible. Things are forever changing and we will never know every aspect of a situation at any given time. A long time ago we thought that certain psychological technicalities didn't exist, we accounted particular situations to certain conclusions which were proven wrong later down the line. If we could have made such mistakes in the past, what is keeping us from drawing similar unfulfilled conclusions now? Every conclusion we come to, every explanation we produce, even if it seems more sensible it's only as reliable as anything from the past. As time goes on we will learn more and more, and everything we think we know now will soon be refuted. We are forced to have faith in some things to create a foundation so that we dont lose our minds to this idea, but it's important to always realise that everything is subject to change... WARNING: This profile is a bit scattered and lengthy... But please do not be intimidated by this, and if you make it through - you will probably know me better than you could have imagined. You might regret knowing me eventually..but it's better to be my friend than my enemy, anyone will tell you that.. These things aren't too important concerning me though.  Basically, before you enter deeper into my world of madness I must let you in on something.. There's more to me than what meets the eye. I seem like quite a fun and random individual, perhaps careless and slightly messed up.. and I can be these things often it's true. HOWEVER, after talking to me you will find I am a deep, artistic, and intellectual being as well. I enjoy being impulsive but on the other hand I also enjoy having serious discussions about important or just complex matters on occasion. I have many theories and philosophies as well as views on the world and beyond. I am outspoken, politically aware, articulate, and I do my research. I am knowledgeable about many things from music to psychology. I have a broad minded personality, I can make connections between just about anything. I'm not like most people.. once I begin to think about something I keep branching out with thoughts detailing more and more into the subject until I reach a point where it is just impossible to continue. This frustrates me, because I feel like even though i've gone so far I still haven't explained enough. If you'd like to venture further into this side of me, then it's best done in conversation.. I can't really throw all of these ideas out onto my profile or it'd be MUCH longer than it already is.. and it's pretty fucking long. Now with that in mind, continue and please do read the rest of my profile if you can manage.  the tv is a brainwashing machine!! it spreads subliminal messages that say "BUY TIDE OR DIE!!" and "If you don't purchase this new mp3 thingy WE'LL STAB YOU TO DEATH.." as well as "buy kit kat bars or we'll come to your home and murder your family.. " heheh? I write horror, lyrics, poetry, random stories... and I like to write out my theories and philosophies on wordly or otherworldly matters. Currently I am a true crime writer, studying investigative journalism and criminology. rainbow smog the colours of the rainbow smog..paint the bench red jimmy paint the bench red..paint it paint it paint it..we all float and when you're down here..you'll float too.. The problem with compassion: Society is too sympathetic, and the horror of it all is that we get this idea that being such a way is heading in the right direction... we are thinking "peace, compassion, unity" and applying it to eachother, friends helping friends, there will always be a hand to pull you up when you fall. This can be pleasant sometimes... Sounds like a pretty stable community. How about not. Instead it's a community of weaklings reliant on eachother to make it through. This has a downward spiral sort of result. You see, the more often that help is provided, the easier it is to get used to such a thing. We begin to forget how to help ourselves and by default all become even weaker. Becoming weaker has us fucking up and making more mistakes than we originally were, with a loss of care for the consequences (which we deny at the time), because there's this mindset that we will be helped. And then don't forget the whole fact that if you help someone they will grow the newfound compassion to be there for you whenever you may need help. So now those who need help are being given it without much effort at all, and in return they offer it to the helpers - who in turn go from being stable to unstable with the newly instilled mindset that they have people to turn to. Everyone's lives go to hell and they, having faith in one another, are comfortable about it. They are overly positive and go along being sure that they will be saved. Now in this downfall of becoming weaker and weaker due to such networking co dependency, there are very few options left. And, SURPRISE - none are good! Either they become too weak to live, or, they find that the weakening of others leaves everyone unable to help eachother anymore...and then, now forgetting how to be capable of helping themselves, they are screwed. A great example is drug addiction. We are being more compassionate than ever when it comes to addictions and other similar issues, this is why all of our ads showing kids the horrors of drugs and speakers who go around attempting to scare kids into never wanting to do drugs, are being proven ineffective lately. They are being forcibly conflicted by what the world is offering them. On one hand being told not to do drugs, on the other hearing about all the help they can get if they encounter an issue with drug use. This can make youth think that just TRYING something can't do much harm... it's okay to take the "small" risk of trying drugs and if anything should happen, there are people that can help them out. The government invests a lot into drug rehab programs and clinics for drug addicts and all this other shit, because society keeps bitching about it and begging for it, which just ends in us wasting our tax dollars on a lost cause. When you save someone, where is the incentive for them to save themselves? Guidance is alright, guidance is important, offer people your opinions and your words...offer them ideas, INSPIRE them, but make THEM do the work. Unless they make the effort, they will never truly break out of habits. When you make the effort to save yourself, after you have been successful, you come to the realisation that you worked really hard to get yourself to where you are...and if you had to work to get where you are, why would you want to drop yourself back into a pit of doom? You made your efforts and because of it you grow stronger, and you also come to logical conclusions about really appreciating effort and understanding why it means so much - perhaps giving you a more meaningful view of the world and your existence. Penguin butter is a fragile tool created to seperate pennies from turtles, nosebleeds will be a frequent source of alienation. A word on the government... The government is ignorant to a degree - the part that isn't ignorant is the corrupt part, however warped that may sound. When they are being corrupt they are forced to be clever so that nobody knows their dirty secrets. When they are doing otherwise, they don't have as much pressure on them to plan things out perfectly, they lack the same discretion they take with corrupt acts. Topsy turvy. If corruption is the smartest a government can be, then why care about the technicalities of electing someone who will do their job, you can never know the truth.. I won't detail on family matters, because I don't really care enough to. The most i'll say here is that the people in my family have strange and interesting connections, and the history within is something wild. I'm related to pirates, outlaws, artists, and bank robbers! woohoo? I have many "friends", but I firmly believe that you shouldn't trust anyone or anything, maybe sometimes not even yourself. I do fantabulously in educational situations, but I hate school. It's more of a prison now stuck on all these moronic rules and regulations, and barely teaches you anything you need to know anymore. I feel that we are given textbooks, people memorize the information and then do well on tests. That isn't learning that's fucking memorization. It doesn't mean people understand or appreciate what they're memorizing.. the whole topic makes me want to burn things. I don't believe in forgiveness. I have a taste for revenge and am terrifying when i'm angry. I have a friend named Jenna who is ALMOST the Horatio to my Hamlet, or the Monster to my Frankenstein.. My life is like a shakespearean tragedy, or a soap opera, or some sort of action packed adventure...it's stranger than fiction at times. I can be cold and distant - focused solely on my work, but I can also be a dreamy and blissful romantic...  uhh... I believe in Harvey Dent... I believe in Face eating pandas. I want to see Tarantino do a film adaptation of a Chuck Palahniuk book. OH AND I am like a porcupine waiting to explode. If I had it my way you would be in some other dimension doing backflips. I like to laugh. I'm blunt... I'm often contradictory...sensitive to the supernatural...interested in the capability of "humans".. I love absurdity, surrealism, to be overwhelmed...fire, the idea of power - powerful people, powerful systems...also the idea of tearing apart these powerful things. Anarchy, disorder. Although I can be outgoing and loud, many times you will find me silent and mysterious as I observe the world around me and take note, sometimes forming siloloquies in my mind or questioning things which I will find my own answers to later.. I can be pretty random, to YOU anyway... nothing I do or say is "random" to me, everything is done for some sort of reason. Even if I don't know the reason, doesn't mean that one doesn't exist somewhere. If existence even exists at all. I'm confident, inquisitive... I have mood swings, I am told it's because I have mania... but sometimes I don't believe that. You can't just trust people to be right. I believe that what the world needs is more chaos, because it brings balance and realisation. Also, peace is something that limits you, you can't be truly free whilst still being peaceful to society...and I don't like being boxed in that way, but this doesn't mean that i'm all over the place. I do have plans, and although these plans don't have any set rules, they are sufficient and will prove satisfactory. I spread random acts of this and that every time I get a chance, and assign others to do the same, for the love of discord. If you ever want "in" on any of my projects..let me know. THE END..but not the end..theres more HAHAHA. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh And now, the many faucets of "me" explained in schools of thought, religion, and political orientation. To explain a little better i'm going to include portions from evil wikipedia which I think best describe my thinking/outline how things apply to me. SCHOOLS - in terms of theistic existentialism: "God has designed the world in such a way that we must define our own lives, and each individual is held accountable for his own self-definition". "The notion of the Absurd contains the idea that there is no meaning to be found in the world beyond what meaning we give to it. This meaninglessness also encompasses the amorality or 'unfairness' of the world. This contrasts with 'karmic' ways of thinking in which 'bad things don't happen to good people'; to the world, metaphorically speaking, there is no such thing as a good person or a bad thing; what happens happens, and it may just as well happen to a good person as to a bad person." Utilitarianism: "meaning that the moral worth of an action is determined by its outcome: put simply, the ends justify the means." Dualism: two forces, creative vs destructive, both being important to society. I particularly lean towards instilling the importance of destruction in this respect. Idealism: "the ultimate nature of reality is based on mind or ideas." Individualism: "the moral stance, political philosophy, or social outlook that stresses independence and self-reliance. Individualists promote the exercise of one's goals and desires, while opposing most external interference upon one's choices, whether by society, or any other group or institution. " Determinism: "the philosophical proposition that every event, including human cognition and behavior, decision and action, is causally determined by an unbroken chain of prior occurrences." (This would also work into my fascination with "the butterfly effect"). Relativism: "The term often refers to truth relativism, which is the doctrine that there are no absolute truths, i.e., that truth is always relative to some particular frame of reference." POLITICAL - anarcho terrorism: I don't always mean that to be as frightening as it sounds... basically the belief in opposition of standing rules and government and consumerism, taking action against the "set" ways of the world in a direct and immediate manner in order to shock society out of it's regular routine - in hopes of provoking it's citizens to change what is holding them back, forcing them to build anew and whilst doing so consider what is really necessary. discordianism: "chaos is all that there is, and that order and disorder, the latter considered a concept distinct from chaos, are both illusions" (I just had deja vu whilst reading that) The way I think of this is that by "chaos" it is meant that "nature" is all there is. Or Nature is the primary essence of the universe..or at least this world alone. "Discordianism recognizes chaos, discord, and dissent as valid and desirable qualities, in contrast with most religions, which idealize harmony and order." I guess it is strange that I have this under a political header rather than religious, however the way I use it is in both a political and a religious way. So both would be considered valid... Rhino party: A joke party basically.. to me it is a refreshing look at politics and seems to accomodate my other beliefs well. Libertarianism: "a term used by a spectrum of political philosophies which seek to promote individual liberty and seek to minimize or even abolish the state." has similar roots to anarchism. THEOLOGICAL - general creationism: my belief that some force/mystical being created everything else, but other speculation is futile on my part. I like to think of creation and science together as "joint creationism" sometimes because ONE of my theories on how this universe came to be is that the big bang did indeed happen...but an entity caused it to happen, like a domino effect if you get what I mean. Something pushing existence into being. However another one of my beliefs is that the big bang was not the start, and that there's this whole ridiculous mass of info we are neglecting including parallel universes existing beforehand or any other possibility prior to us and then after us. (Now I have deja vu again because I could swear I had a dream of typing this exact thing out and then randomly getting sidetracked by the idea of parallel realms and other strange things.) strong agnosticism: "the view that the question of the existence or nonexistence of a god or gods and the nature of ultimate reality is unknowable by reason of our natural inability to verify any experience with anything but another subjective experience" Aside from these things, I will also state that although I have practiced witchcraft and magick of particular religions, I do not view it as a religious experience for myself in particular. Although i have remarked these things as holding much meaning to how I see the world, I also have an abundance of my own individual theories and philosophies. These basically include a number of possibilities for the truth, or for explanation of the supernatural and paranormal entities (including angelic beings as well as demons), which I enjoy coming up with and holding some belief in - but ultimately do not attest to knowing that I have the answers, as nothing is certain and anything is possible. It seems as though sometimes my days cannot be defined by emotional mood, or even physical mood, but usually by a specific state of thought. Like "im feeling solipstic today" or "im feeling existential today"... of course you can level those things down to more simplistic states, and make them a general mood, like solipsism could mean that on some level i feel alienated. However i'd rather let the entirety of it flourish whenever it comes. I'm interested in the following: Patapsychology, parapsychology (paranormal research),ghost hunting, astrology, witchcraft (wizardology), demonology, film, criminal defense (law), dracontology, ufology, alchemy, cryptozoology, conspiracy theory research, philosophy, literature, history, metaphysics,criminal psychology, forensics, the chaos theory, Guerrilla ontology, numerology, Cognitive dissonance, Futurology, esoteric knowledge, mythology..to be continued lol Likes: Interpreting song lyrics or deeper meanings in films, Blood, candy, horror movies, film noir, reading, thunder storms, cyberpunk and steampunk, interesting people that intellectually stimulate me, biting, Cthulhu, BPAL, chinchillas, black cats, the many uses of jello, being nocturnal, philosophy, wine, pie, blackouts, kisses, anarchy, lucid dreaming, being creative, intensity, passion, antiheroes, being clever and manipulative, detective work, the sky.. nautical stars, the moon, magick,rainbows,mythological beings, shiny metallic things, the beautiful aspects of darkness,surrealist art, the sea,how the pyramids of giza match up exactly with orion's belt, spicy food, seafood, bats, lightning, castles, city lights, the word "ominous" , the season of Autumn, fog, conspiracy theories, otherworldly things.. theories on parallel universes and such.. things from my childhood, like metallic pinwheels,kaleidoscopes, crazy straws, bubble wands... bubble soap, bubblewrap, my fav fairy tale type story "the gingerbread man", alice in wonderland, swingsets.. heart shaped balloons, transparent apples, starfruit, dragonfruit, pomegranites, tiger lillies, stargazer lillies, moonbathing, antique valentines, how music is literally orgasmic or makes me shudder with delight, gingerale etc. etc.. I enjoy comic books. I love Batman, Watchmen, V for Vendetta. I really really enjoy talking to people about the paranormal/supernatural, it's a topic that highly interests me. I like to research random things, I like mysteries. I like the writings of Edgar Allan Poe, H.P Lovecraft, Stephen King, Shakespeare (particularly the tragedies), Ann Rice, Chuck Palahniuk, Clive Barker.. and others. 1984, Farenheit 451, Animal Farm, Frankenstein, Dr.Jeckyl and Mr.Hyde, The Stranger, Lord of the Flies, Blood and Chocolate, Wuthering Heights, Fight Club, Wicked, Alice in Wonderland, American Psycho, the illuminatus trilogy...true crime books. These are some of the MANY films I adore: Pulp Fiction, Natural Born Killers, American Psycho, Lost Boys, Return of the living dead, Parents, Neighbors, Suicide Club, Batman '89, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Terminator, It Happened at Nightmare Inn, modern Romeo and Juliet, Re-Animator, Hellraiser, Fight Club, Alien, Donnie Darko, The Jacket, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Run Lola Run, Evil Dead, Eraserhead, A Clockwork Orange, Blade Runner, Pretty in Pink, Leaving Las Vegas, The Game, Zodiac, Silence of the Lambs, Rosemary's baby, Salem's Lot, Pet Semetary, IT, War of the Worlds, They Live, Invasion of the bodysnatchers, House on Haunted Hill (original with Vincent Price), The Red Violin, Ghostbusters, The filth and the fury, Another state of mind, Party Monster, 1984, Detroit Rock City, Cruel Intentions, Ginger Snaps, Benny and Joon, Saw, Halloween (zombie remake and the classic), Nightmare on Elm street, the serpent and the rainbow... I like the following list of individuals...fictional or factual.. for whatever reason haha: The Joker, Batman, Hamlet, Guy Fawkes, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Willy Wonka, Howard Hughes, Betty Paige, Vincent Price, Elizabeth Bathory, John Belushi, Trent Reznor, Bjork, The angry nintendo nerd, Elvira, Christopher Walken, Billy the kid, Jack Nicholson, Arthur Conan Doyle, Hannibal Lecter, Ed Wood, Salvador Dahli, Bela Lugosi, The Cheshire Cat, Kurt Cobain, John Lydon, Oskar Schindler, the list goes on.. I like the following tv shows: SNL, MAD tv, Supernatural, the twilight zone, goosebumps, are you afraid of the dark, the munsters, the adam's family, grizzly tales for gruesome kids, Macabre Theatre, Family Guy, The X Files, Buffy the vampire slayer, Robot Chicken, Tales from the Dark side, Tales from the crypt, south park, Seinfeld, etc  Dislikes: Ignorance, the government, elitists, society to some extent, people who only "like" things for trendy reasons...making it confusing to find true fans, I dislike too many things to go on.. But I will go on anyway just to make this even longer!!! two faced people, liars (unless you are good enough at lying that nobody can tell), facebook, inconsiderate smartasses, trendy people (meaning people who like things just because its the 'in' thing to like..without actually understanding these things or growing a deep appreciation for them), juvenile people unless its childishness for the sake of fun, druggies, alcoholics/people who drink for the sake of getting drunk, crackwhores, people who are as emotionally weak as i am at any given time or worse, people who make assumptions or make excuses, people who do stuff they dont really care for just because their friends do it -conformists, people who do things which are grossly unnatural.. because its fucking ridiculous and annoying and disgusting, anorexic people and addicts/anyone who has such problems and then expects others to help them out of it and/or people who have these problems and are crybabies about it - grow up - you did it to yourselves - and also i hate people with such mindsets that allow them to do those things to themselves in the first place...going along with my hate of the incredibly unnatural, general closemindedness, sexism unless it makes absolute sense, calling people or things "gay" or "retarded" unless they literally are, statistics (because no statistic can tell you the truth about EVERYONE involved..this goes along with my hate of assumptions), sluts of all types (have more respect for yourselves and stop objectifying), people who don't listen, people who are not patient with me, people who think they are smarter than me in any given subject just because they are older or otherwise, also generally condescending people, people who whine about petty things, people who don't take things seriously even after I ask them to, people who are overly serious when I tell them it's unnecessary, people who litter, people who eat/work at mcdonalds, people who take medication to balance themselves out just because they have trouble embracing their faults...you only need to learn to control these things if you don't want them getting in the way, people who go to tanning beds even in the winter, people who do not appreciate what they are given, people who dont give me the attention I deserve, people who back up an argument with things that dont make sense especially when they arent even manipulative enough to MAKE the things SEEM sensible, people who dont put up a fight, people who don't admit when they are wrong and I am right (being stubborn, unless they don't admit it and they actually argue it...if you fight then that's okay, but if you are just sitting there saying 'no im right and that's that' then fuck off, thats stupid), people who hate books/hate reading, hypocrites (although very often I am contradictory, therefore being a hypocrite, and so not being able to tolerate hypocrites is also..hypocritical of me... but meh), hippies, pushovers, ICP, Metallica, people who try to change me, co-dependent people, World of Warcraft, having to repeat things because people don't understand (unless they have a good reason), those who abuse the innocent, my privacy being invaded, cheaters (unless you cheat the system, then that's alright...although this might contradict my belief in letting things happen naturally to some extent), corrupt authority, people who attempt to judge things/argue things they do not understand, rudeness (with exception depending on situation and if it is necessary), highschool musical (holy fuck somebody kill it), twilight (sorry but it's just annoying to me), people who underestimate me, when people state that their religion is exclusively correct - making other religions wrong... it goes with my whole hatred of 'know-it-all'ism, people who are unwilling to take responsibility for their actions, people who abandon obligations, people who care too much about what others think, youth who obsess over dieting when they are perfectly healthy, snotty preteens who don't know their place. Abortion - when people abort just because they are not ready for the responsibility - even though they made the choice to have sex and knew the potential consequences - I find that ridiculous and childish and annoying (the only exceptions are if people are impregnated against their will, or if the baby is going to be in immediate pain and then die shortly after, in such cases abortion may be an option... if you would like to know more you may ask me and I will gladly elaborate). I hate Scientology. People who take the easy way out/taking the easy way out myself, people who eat with their mouth open... i'm sure there's a lot more but this is quite enough, you likely aren't even reading at this point. Tom from Myspace is Big Brother. Favorite Music: I listen to a wide variety, just about anything i might like, anything to fit my mood, my taste fluctuates.. it's too ridiculous and overwhelming for anyone to handle. I have a very broad taste. From 50's music of all styles to 60's and 70's rock/pop/disco/whatever, 80's music of all kinds because the 80's kicked ass. 90's music of all kinds, it's only after the 90's that my taste in music becomes more specific. I love classical music and jazz, I love Beethoven. I like punk, I like female-fronted metal, I like classic rock, I like pop and a limited selection of rap only up to the 90's. I do not like hip hop or country. I like psychobilly, rockabilly. Otep, the sex pistols, the ramones, the clash, the misfits, nirvana, the pixies, tiger army, Kittie, rancid, the switchblade valentines, the briefs, the meteors, asmodeus, mad sin, blitzkid, calabrese, frank sinatra, the beatles, pink floyd, iron maiden, KISS, minor threat, beastie boys, black sabbath, GBH, MSI, JOJ, My Ruin, The Birthday Massacre, american werewolves, blonde redhead, aqualung, bjork, astrid haven, siouxie and the banshees, Muse, black flag, iggy and the stooges, new york dolls, the black halos, DOA, bob marley, Hole, babes in toyland, alice cooper, the cure, dead boys, danzig, david bowie, zombina and the skeletones, the distillers, the doors, the dresden dolls, tupac, eminem, foo fighters, Garbage, NIN, Gary Numan, the germs, the offspring, the vines, greenday, the hives, the strokes, the horrorpops, joan jett, blondie, joe cocker, jerry lee lewis, chuck berry, metric, THE ADICTS, social distortion, GWAR, Nekromantix, Oasis, operation ivy, billy idol, REM, radiohead, rob zombie, roky erickson, sam the sham and the pharoahs, Sixpence none the richer, the slaves, smashing pumpkins, system of a down, taproot, tegan and sara, time again, transplants, discharge, chaos UK, UK SUBS, toy dolls, x ray spex, the slits, the vandals, michael jackson, wednesday 13, weezer, Gob, fleetwood mac, Queen, the spice girls, the backstreet boys, disturbed, sublime, roy orbison, cyndi lauper, ABBA, 45 grave, the stray cats, the eurythmics, the donnas, Deftones, sahara hotnights, ..i think i might have said some of these already..,the damned, PIL, the plasmatics, alien sex fiend, buzzcocks, generation X, adverts, the jam, phenomenauts, snfu, the runaways, the cramps, lower class brats, fear, balzac, scarling, Buddy Holly, Elvis, jimi hendrix, jefferson airplane, heart, janis joplin, T rex, the who, The B52's, Elvis Costello, Devo, Patti Smith, the pretenders, samhain, the undead, Air, kukl, SPACEHOG, Our Lady Peace, RUN DMC, Orgy, The Virus, Berlin, Peter and the test tube babies, the drones, suburban studs, angelic upstarts, the devotchkas, tsunami bomb, the black keys, nofx, pat benatar, kidneythieves, young madonna... etc. and stuff.     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