8)Qoutes: (warning I have an obession with quotes there might be a -few-
"We ate her"
"You ate her?"
"Alive!" --Saving Silverman

"If that's what being crazy is then I'm senseless, out of it, gone down the road.... wacko." ~Jack Nicklson~ 'One Flew Over the Coockoos Nest'

Commander: "Call in the Army!"
Staff Sgt: "Uh Sir we are the Army."
Commander: "Wow, we got here fast!" ~Jimmy Newtron~

Lady: "Roy Cambell's door is blue!!"
Roy: "It's always been blue!" ~Pleasntville~

"Dead People should shut-up unless they have something important to say." ~Exorise 3~

Cliff: "Don't yawn in the shower, you might drown." ~The Cosby Show~

Crush: "You were like woah, and we were like woah, and you were like woah!" ~Finding Nemo~

Kusco: "Oh look I'm a crumbling canyon wall and I'm taking you with me. Not today! I snatched you right out of the air, uh huh uh huh uh huh!" ~Emperor's New Groove~

Man with Cereal: "What's it say?"
Architect: "Mmm, fiber"
Man: "You're kidding?!"
Arch: "Yes" ~Commerical~

Retard 1: "I don't even know who I am."
Retard 2: "Well you're Pablo Picaso"
Retard 1: "Really?!"
Retard 2: "No not really" ~50 First Dates~

"Never interupt an enemy when he is making a mistake" Napoleon Bonaparte

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with the typewriters." ~Frank Wright~

"To error is human, to really screw things up requires a computer." ~Anonymous~

Floyd: "How's it going?"
Slater: "Fixin to be a lot better man" *a bit of chatter they go sperate ways "Oh man I'm so fucking wasted." ~Dazed and Confused~

Burns: "I know I'm a reall asset to this -"
Hawkeye: "Frank you're only off by two letters" ~M*A*S*H

UNDER CONSTRUCTION MORE QUOTES LATER!

Stupid Shit I've come across and found funny....

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

Since history never stops, when does the future begin?

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

Do NoT Type like Tis... It MaKeS you LoOk ReT@RdEd.

Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe they trusted me with this).

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

If a tree falls in the woods... Do all the other trees laugh at it?

Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90% of the time, so why worry about the other 3%?

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

There are two things I don't eat for lunch; breakfast and dinner.

**Okay these next ones are things to use for IM away messages, I thought they were funny and I had nothing else to do so I posted em here to um I dunno, but hey who cares?! And NO I did not think these up myself I found them on a web site**

Hey, I'm cooking right now so if I don't burn down the house I'll be right back

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

I fell out of my chair. This might take a while.

I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transferred to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependent, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.

I dropped my keyboard when I find it I'll get back to you.

Don't Worry! I don’t know where I am either.

Sitting in a corner thinking about what I have done.

I just fell off my keyboard while surfing the web, I'll be right back.

My dog thinks I'm crazy. I'll be back when I'm done arguing with him. If I'm not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death

I am not here because I am engaged in a game of hide-and-go-seek with my imaginary friend. I will be back as soon as he finds me. Do not count on me being back soon, because it's hard for me to imagine him finding me because I'm such a good hider.

More Retardedness later!