We conspiracy theorists get a bad rap.
Just because we know that somewhere in the world is at least one box of cereal with a bomb in it (and it might be in your cupboard. Always pull the bag all the way out of the box to check the bottom. NEVER SQUEEZE.)
And JUST BECAUSE we know FaceBook is only better than MySpace because it isn't owned by Fox News, and the slaves doing the programming are allowed cigarette breaks, and they're also genetically altered apes.

My own unique theory is that the song "Rag & Bone" by The White Stripes was written by my father and The White Stripes knocked him over the head with a block of wood causing severe amnesia, allowing them to steal it.

Unfortunately, though, being a conspiracy theorist doesn't pay well.


By the way, I've got a bridge over the East River to sell. Anyone interested?