Death_Smiles at Vampirefreaks.com

About
My name is Josh, my profile might be a bit longer than other’s, but I don’t think I can be explained in a few short sentences, some flashy icons, and a quiz.

I’m only 15 years old. The past year has been pretty crazy for me; it’s had its ups and downs. I’m half Caucasian, and half Asian. My parents have been divorced for awhile, but it was for the best. I’m a very shy person, not antisocial. Ill do some strange things when I meet new people, but it’s only to gauge their reaction. A lot of people just think I have social problems, truth is, I don’t talk to people I don’t know. Period. Once I see you more than a few times, I might speak up.

I’m constantly trying to evolve. I try to learn from the worst of my experiences, and move on from them, my image is always changing – my character is always changing. Taking old ideals and changing them, and making new ones. I’m obsessed with art, be it painting, photography, music, I love it all. Its always been a good outlet for me, and if I was frustrated with something, I could get it out through lyrics, or painting, other than punching a hole through my wall. I've always loved philosophy as well.

I never understood stereotypes. What’s the point? Kids who try to fit into a certain cliché are stupid, your not different, your dressed up in the same tripp pants as every other ‘misunderstood’ teenager. And, people who judge other people off of stereotypes, I’ve always thought it was fucking stupid to look at someone, call them emo, and decide you hate them. I’ve only hated the kids who stereotype themselves; I’ve got no problem with hot topic clothing. If you’re going to hate someone, hate them as a person, not a brand.

As for myself? I’ve never claimed to be original, or anything new. I don’t like to consider myself any sort of stereotype. Everyone dresses the way they do to portray a certain image, my image? – a complete redefinition of beauty, I’ve never liked how people see beauty today, I guess you could say I see ugly as beautiful, and vice versa. I always like to show my own sexuality, I’m not gay, I’m not bi, I only have an attraction towards women, and I have no disrespect for you if you don’t, but at the same time, I shave, I wear makeup, I don’t work out and drink beer. If that’s what straight is, I’m far from it.

I can't stand senseless violence. I’d like to think we evolved from animals, but it seems like most people still act like apes. If I get angry or depressed, I get that anger out through writing or drawing something. I don’t go punch a hole in the wall. I can understand self defense, but senseless violence makes no sense to me.

I don’t have very many morals, I don’t believe in rape, or murder, or violence, you know..the basics. I think living by too many morals will just end up in stress and heartache. Live everyday to the fullest, have fun, but keep in mind; you reap what you sow.

I try to flip everyone's common morals around...make them think. I do what I do to push limits, and to ask questions. I think without questions, and without art, the world would destroy itself more than it already has.

I do a lot of things that some people wouldn't do, but to me it's normal, It's my standard. So morality for me is different. I have the same universal laws of nature that I abide by, but 'good' is generally what you like and everybody has different likes. I don't try to be 'bad' as much as I just am by nature.

I’ve been a Marilyn Manson fan for many years now, since I was a kid. Does that mean I worship him as a god? No. I have a respect for him, he puts a lot of emotion into his art, and he’s constantly evolving. That’s why I respect him so much, I –hate- the kids who would give their life for him.

I don’t believe in religion. I don’t hate it, though. Just seems to me, religion has never caused anyone to do anything good. It’s full of deception. Christianity in particular, what’s the bible about? War, Suicide, Death, famine? If I were a 4 year old child and heard bible stories about such things, I’d get pretty scared. Make people scared enough and they’ll consume. That doesn’t mean I have disrespect for anyone who has a belief, even Christians. I can respect anyone with a strong belief, even I read the bible. Both bibles. If idiots that I have a disrespect for, people who follow blindly, or would do –anything- for their god. Even kill.

A lot of people tell me I don’t act my age, and I find that flattering, but I’ve never considered myself mature, or immature. I am who I am, and hopefully ill continue to evolve as life goes on. I’m still just a child.

In the end, I know who I am, and I know who I want to be, and I hope I never lose that.