I am a recently widowed mother of two very beautiful boys. I am making this part brief because,first off, it's very painful for me, and no, it's not "cool" to be a "widow" however "gothy" it sounds. It really sucks to lose your companion, best friend, lifemate and partner in parenting. My husband, Gunnar N. was a very talented man who finally found his "niche" in life doing sound for independant horror movie companies, specifically the companies "Untold Horror" and "Screamkings". I was told he was the best sound man they ever had. Unfortunatley he never lived to see the fruit of his labors. He passed away two days before even seeing the first film he worked on called "The Green Monster" which premiered in MA. I was able to go because of the kindness of those who worked on the film, they provided transportation for me, but it was so hard to watch without him by my side when he should have been there with me. Gunnars music videos can be seen on youtube under Darks Pandemonium and Mrdarkpandemon.
Likes
~The ocean, especially at night ~Getting lost in the woods for a day ~Cemetaries, not merely to take narcissistic photos of myself, but to envelop myslf in the otherworldly "between worlds" energy, learn something about people who once wandered this earth before me, and the memorial practices/art of various times. ~Bellydancing... I am learning from several different teachers: Egyptian Caberet, Turkish, Oriental, American Tribal Fusion. ~Reading...Just finished a whole slew of Chuch Palahniuk, I tend to read something I like by a particular author then devour whatever I can get my hands on if I liked the first. "Fight Club" was my last read book. Impressive, lived up to the film. ~Collecting books on a variety of dark, art or occult themed subjects. I need to stop until I have more shelves! ~Venturing to thrift stores, consignment and antique shops for oddities and beautiful or strange items. I never know what I will find, It's part of the thrill, like I'm on the search for treasure "Arggghhh!" But often something powerful will "call Out" for me to give it a home, sometimes its purpose, of a magickal nature that I can use personally, will later reveal itself to me. But sometimes, I simply leave one of those stores with a bag full of wonderful vintage clothing and/or jewelry... Not complaining! ~ Art, both creating my own, and experiencing the creativity of others, by visiting museums, exhibits etc.. Some favorite artists are: Alex Grey, H.R Giger, Rozz Williams, Susan Seddon Boulet, Edward Gorey, Leilah Wendall, Aubrey Beardsley, Erte, Eddie Breen (weird and wonderfully amusing outsider art), David Delemare (beautiful Mermaid art) and I do rather enjoy the art, however "Hot Topic commercial goth/pagan" of Vargo and Amy Brown. ~Tarot cards: I collect and study them, and have done so since the age of 13. I have many decks, some seem to work for me better than others, some I just enjoy looking at. I have discovered Tarot is something you never stop learning from. Its a lifelong teacher and commitment.
Dislikes
~Pretentious people. I see through you. It's not that I dislike you, this happened to one of my best friends. It's rather sad that your kind need to "put on airs" because your bruised ego is vulnerable and so you feel the need to act superior. ~People who lie about thier ages. Come on! Is it really so bad to look great after 30? ~Fake people. Like what you like and don't give a damn. That goes for music, clothes, art, literature, etc.. Don't like something because it's the trend. Be real.If you are part of some herd, best not bother with me because you might find my ideas distracting, and even a bit threatening to your safe little herd world. ~That same pretense goes for anyone on here who decides to add me to thier friends only to play mind games. Feel free to IM me, but not if it's for only your cheap thrills and entertainment. Understand that I have a very complex personality, and I enjoy sincere intellectual and witty conversations. I will not stand for high school mentality or juvenile drama. I am not your cool "Stand-in Mommy." I have two kids of my own, and I would probably agree with what your mommy says anyway. Most people who IM me never get a repeat conversation because of the aforementioned reasons. I only speak to a select few here, and they know who they are, and how special they are to me. I am always open to friendly conversation based on good intentions. Although I have a lovely, gentle disposition, I would not hesitate for a moment to justifiably summon the Dark Goddess energies within me to send Karma someones way. So respect, and honesty are appreciated, please. ~ People who hurt children and animals. Go kill yourself. Please. Remove yourself from the Gene Pool. ~ Being a "widow".
Favorite Music
Christian Death (Rozz!) Darks Pandemonium, Shadow Project, Faith and the Muse, London After Midnight, David Bowie, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Cure, Bauhaus, Alice Cooper, 30 Seconds To Mars, Old Siouxsie (or should I say "YOUNG" Siouxsie~ No Offense, anyone!) Skinny Puppy, She Wants Revenge, NIN (YUP...and I don't care what anyone thinks of that!) The Virgin Prunes, The Sisters of Mercy, Mors Syphylitica, The Genitorturers, Razed In Black, Nina Hagen, Diamanda Galas, Alien Sex Fiend, The Cramps, Coil, The Damned. Switchblade Symphony, And more, many more....
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