outlaw85

Deep wells must be dug, if you want clear water.

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Before i get into anything. Love is the most important thing in the world to me. All i want is someone who loves me as i am, even if i am a little serious, i'm still a good bloke and perhaps if people made a proper effort, i'd loosen up. Sitting there waiting for me to pull jokes out of thin air for someone i dont even know their sense of humor is just not gonna happen. But I Care way more about people then i'm ever willing to let people know. Try and be patient with me, hopefully i'm worth the patience.

Hey I'm Ben. One way to describe me would be different. A better way would be very anti-social. I'm not the type of person who enjoys going out and can just talk to anyone and I don't pretend to be some friendly love everyone person. In all honesty I have so far given a crap about 2 people ever in my life. I'm anti-social coz I don't need to be around people. I can completely love someone as they are as a person, but for some reason still i don't give a crap what happens to them. This can change, it has before. Just most people don't stick around long enough for that to happen.

I for some reason tend to not like people who have tons n tons of friends.... I dunno why. But i think it just never feels like I'm close enough to that person to ever be thought of outside of when i'm talking to them for that exact moment. And if i'm gonna waste my time talking to someone, I'd rather have their full attention all the time and for them to be genuinely interested in knowing what kind of person i am to see if i'm someone they'd want as an important part of their life. I guess i just dont want someone to be a part of my life if there nothing more than a passer by.

I'm a very talkative person, I almost never shut up which I guess annoys alot of people. It's great to me to find all about someone and understand them. I find that its way easier to care about someone who I actually relate to, someone whos been through the same sort of things, so yeah i go into big deep talks finding out about people.
Or the rest of the time if I'm feeling very alone i just act very random and strange and make no sense. This is no because i am sort of hypo-attention seeking weird ass. It just takes my mind off of shit when i can make someone laugh. I love honesty in people more then anything, people who aren't afraid to be themselves. It sucks how many people walk around in life following the leader of their group thinking that everyone will love them for it. All it does is make u blend into the crowd and u become forgotten, I'd rather be remembered as an asshole opposed to forgotten as part of the group.
Despite this fact, while I'm on about honesty I probably should admit. I wish there was a group that I fit in. I'm not goth, I'm not punk, I'm very unstable but far from emo, not smart enough to be a geek, not out there enough to be a freak. And there is a certain yearning to find someone exactly like me. Someone who the way that I talk and don't shut up, the way that I get pissed off to avoid feeling sad, that it all makes perfect sense to them. Just so that for once I'm not the "Weird in a good way" Person. Wish I could stay exactly how I am without everyone thinking its so strange.

I am probably also a very deep thinker.... much to my own detriment. I can over analyse things, but I don't spend the whole day doing it either. Mostly somebody just brings up a topic to me, and then I have like a hundred different types of thoughts about it. I think I do it cos I just like to have some sort of understanding on life.... as opposed to letting each day come and go, and then one day at the end of it when somebody asks you what is life when u reach the gates of heaven (assuming they exist) And all ur able to do is shrug your shoulders.
Also, I never get along with people who don't talk much. I only ever talk to 3 people at once at the most. It means alot of people get ignored. But then meand those 3 people can actually have a conversation that I'll remember instead of forgetting each conversation with all 12 people.

Probably a very stupid thing about me, but I love to help people, almost every person I ever helped hasn't thanked me for it so I know its not why I do it. I just like to have a chance to make people happier than I am. If I can't sort out my own life, at least I can perhaps help somebody else make sense out of theirs, and maybe even learn something new about myself along the way.

Major major trust issues..... If your expecting somebody whos gunna like you right off the bat then don't bother spending time to talk to me. Theres alot of old stuff which you'll just have to ask me about, which makes me very weary about letting anybody close.... but it does happen.

Things that i look for in a girl. Lol I know this doesn't really matter much, but it helps tell you what a person is like and well if somebody is gunna message me i want them to have a good deal at knowing what they're in for.
The first and foremost thing i look for is somebody very different, very unique, which is why of course i find it easier to talk to Goth/punk/freaks/geeks. People with seemingly no life almost always have the most interesing views about life compared to anybody cos they actually have the time to look at life.
I look for imperfections..... I don't want somebody who is everything that you always dreamed of. I've had it before and all it did was make me insecure cos it felt like too much of a good thing. Somebody with a weird sense of humor, this doesn't mean somebody who thinks that fucking a sheep would be hilarious... well actually it would so lets just say weird humor rocks :P Hmmm, lookswise. I actually don't really care too much, so long as their ok to look at, being hot is just a bonus which'll fade with age.

Now that last bit brings to my next point, this should prolly go in dislikes but I'm on a roll with typing here so whatever. I hate these idiots who think that looks is everything, brainless little bimbos who spend their whole lives trying to be beautiful, trying to be popular, essentially they are people who never grow up except not in that fun sort of Peter Pan way.... more like the I'm a wanker way. I guess I feel sorry for them, cos once you hit about age 22 it seems, popularity becomes a lot less important, you just have your groups of friends and its not a schoolyard anymore so popularity doesn't count for alot. Models make me wanna puke anyway. Unless you have some sort of Necro-Fetish cos I swear most of them look like Skeletons with clothes on and with the hair still there

Fact is, generally my loyalty is a quality of mine which i tell people is there but they never see. Nobody is ever important enough that i feel the need to show them any sort of loyalty or to be there for them through thick and thin. I naturally like to help a person who feels sad so it doesn't tend to be a problem. But thats just because its the way i'm built, not because they hold any kind of sway over my life. Kathy however, feels right to me, fits into my life so easily like as though a place was always reserved. Understands me not due to intellect but perseverance. I have not a single inch of natural intelligence but i try my fucking ass of until i understand every word. Intelligence is 90% effort. She means the world to me not because she was born a perfect goddess, but because she can be relied upon to listen to every word i say, regardless of whether one word of it makes sense, the effort to understand me is always there. I mention this because perhaps some of you could take a page from this book. Instead of fucking telling me that i talk to much, just read all of it twice. Or three times if you need it. Just make the goddamn effort

But yeah thats only the tip of the iceberg, theres heaps of stuff to get to know about me, and u gotta talk to me to find out it all :o

You are not sad, you are resentful

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
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Movies: Kiss of the dragon, Blackhawk down, Go, Bloody sunday, The one, Behind enemy lines, XxX (vin diesel thing, not a porno!!), The lion king (don't fuckin laugh lol), Rush hour 1+2, Zoolander, Ace Ventura, Underworld, blade, The fifth Element, Desperado.
***Basically i'll like anything with Jet Li, Ben stiller or Chris tucker***

Tv Shows: The simpsons, Frasier, Seinfeld, Cold case. (Mostly either comedey or crime stuff i guess) Damn i thought i liked tv more then this.... ah well.

I prefer the snow over the beach.....surfies annoy the living crap out of me. I'd love to go snowboarding some day or like mountain climbling, I reckon it'd be awesome, I've loved the snow whenever I gone there (explains why I don't really have a tan... lol) Along with the fact that when i go out its nighttime to avoid excessive social contact.

People who aren't afraid to speak their own minds, who will be assholes and won't care.

Simple things.... just having a mate to hold when you feel like shit, watching the rain fall down... a Nice cup of milo on a cold day, dunno why but I like those sort of small little things. Its the small stuff that makes life what it is, not the big stuff. Big things is like a big circus or hollywood movie, they have alot of pretty lights and effects, but essentially add nothing to ur life. Small things are like a low budget film with the most amazing concepts u could ever think of, and leaves u with something to remember.

Love...although sometimes I wanna give up on it, love remains the single most important thing to me.

You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an
out-cast because of their narrow minds or you
have adjusted yourself to them, and never
letting them see who you are deep inside. You
now think that no one will ever understand you
and you hate that fact. Though you are scared
of what the effects might be if you would
decide to let someone in so you keep a safe
distance that you both curse and bless.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
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Waterfall

?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
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Mates used to fit in the like area, I guess some of them still do, but the majority make me wanna place this here. Mostly a bunch backstabbing bastards who insist on trying to make life more complicated. People on my list prolly here me saying "I been arguin with a mate" Quite often.... Well that explains it mainly right there, but a few close mates who I'll not name still are and hopefully will always remain in my good books

People who think that gay friends are celebrities. Or ethnic friends or whatever the case may be. Like your talking about something and somebody says something ignorant, and then they go making excuses like "But i have gay friends!". I hate to clue them in, but I have friends who are arabic (well 2) who are gay, or who are asian or whatever. It doesn't make me any more sympathetic to arabs, or any more of a compuer genius to be around Vietnamese and japanese guys. Having a gay friend does not mean you are suddenly a master of anything related to the topic, people should just leave it as this person is my friend, hes not my gay friend, don't need the extra titles.

To elaborate on that further. How on earth are you accepting of a person if you ever refer to them as gay? Do people address you as straight? No. You are just a person, who you sleep with does not define you, but even while claiming to be open minded you are defining them by their sexuality. People should just be people. I am in no way shape or form pro-homosexual. I dont say this out of a personal stance, i actually know very few people of this orientation myself though someone close to me recently came out. Although i carry no sympathy for people being outcasted for choosing a lifestyle different to the norm, I merely believe it should not be a factor in assessing their personality unless they are having sex in the middle of the street instead of in the bedroom behind closed doors like most of us.

People saying without their friends they'd be nothing, or some variation. If ur alone on a desert island you do not become nothing, if u live alone and dont make friends easily you are not nothing. You are something and something different and that is all. Although friends are important i guess. Its a weak person who needs the constant assurance of friends and the constant guidance of others. We all have greatness within ourselves, before we meet anything else alive that potential is always there whether nurtured by others or forced to grow on its own. I am who i am because of who i am, without my friends it would have just been a slower discovery and nothing more. Never rely on other people because all it takes is for them to leave for your world to fall apart. Your world is much stronger with sturdy, reliable support beams of inner strength, independance, hard work ethic. Friends are the icing on the cake, i just wish people could see, they dont need someone else telling them they are amazing, to be amazing.

Homepage: http://www.newgrounds.com
Link 1: http://www.penny-arcade.com