Robert Downey Jr.
Clerks II (2006)
O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)
Kenny VS Spenny
Joys In Life
China Lily Soya Sauce
"People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul."
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy."
"I have come to the conclusion that the dryer lint is the cremated remains of my missing socks."
"Abe Lincoln had a brighter future when he picked up his tickets at the box office."
"I don't need Twitter, I'm already following you."
"That would have been a lot funnier if it was a lot funnier."
"Don't quote me on that"-Destiny Schafer
"God, the noise that fire alarm makes, it'd be less upsetting to just wake up on fire."
"Tell me about yourself." "Well, I like handjobs and long walks on the beach."
*In Baggage Claim at an air port* "Worker: Have you been here long? Frasier: Time is irrelevant, here in the seventh circle of Hell.... a place where even despair dies."
"Frasier: Lilith is back. Nyles: Oh. That's why blood was pouring from my faucets this morning."
"I kept getting parking tickets so I removed my windshield wipers....where are you going to put your ticket now, BITCH?!"
"Am I keeping you from sleeping?" "No, when you start though I'll let you know.......with my fist."
"Frasier? what are you doing here?" "I know it might be quite a shock to find me here in this place that I come to every day of my life."
"Trespassers will be hog tied then told they have a purdy mouth."
"I'm in love with my bed, we're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock just doesn't seem to want us together...jealous whore."
"What's the worst pickup line you've used?" "GET IN THE VAN!"
"You think you've got problems, I dropped my cocaine in the snow this morning."
"If heaven exists, what do you want God to say to you at the pearly gates?.....trick question, you're going to hell."
"Frasier: You're nearly an hour late, what happened?" "Niles: Oh, I was cleaning the oven...must have dozed off."
"Ohh, I totally forgot about that.....no I didn't.................it's all I think about."
"You've never picked cotton and I've never owned a slave."
"I mixed pepsi and coca-cola before, a weird fog filled the room and I lost consciousness."
"Destiny: Stop scratching your leg, you're leaving dead skin on my bed. Kendall: Oh hush you, I've left things on your bed that are far worse than dead skin. Destiny:......... ;_;"
"He's robbing the cradle, and you're robbing the grave."
"Destiny: How do Jellyfish live? Kendall: They live off the crushed dreams of children. Everyone knows that."
"It was just awful, it was like she washed her vagina...with an even dirtier vagina."
"Control your whoremones, slut."
"No you can't come over, I've got shit to do. I've got to masturbate to pictures of myself, while burning money and laughing at people who are different than me."
"You should kick him in the face...with your fist."
"It's okay to be a coward, as long as they don't know which coward you are."
"Birds are the winged spawn of Satan."
"Borrow my pencil without asking? I BORROW YOUR VIRGINITY WITHOUT ASKING!"
48÷2(9+3) = ?
Nazi: Mr.Chaplin, I am a huge fan of yours! *holds out hand* Charlie: I'm sorry, I prefer not to shake hands with nazis... Nazi: Haha, what have you got against us Mr.Chaplin, hmm? Charlie: What have you got against everybody else?"
"You have the sort of eyes that gaze directly into ones soul with neither artifis nor evasion."