The Standards

Name::
Angela Nicole.
Nickname::
I have several nicknames that everyone calls me which include: Angie, Ang, Angle-luh, and probably a few more that I cannot remember. They don't have any meaning or signifcance aside from the fact that my friends and family were manipulating my name into something shorter or more interesting to say. One nickname that I have, however, does hold meaning, which is Tigger. Only one person calls me that, and his name is James. I was given that nickname from him simply because "Tiggers are wonderful things."
Age::
16 years old on June 11th. Yes, I have that little kid syndrome where I round my age up to make me feel like I'm getting closer to 18 and out of the house.
Gender::
Female currently and from birth.
Location::
Montana, United States of America. Montana- where the women are scarce and the sheep are scared.
Sexual Orientation::
I play for both teams.
Single/Taken::
It's pretty complicated, so I'm going to say single, but that isn't exactly accurate.
Freebie, Or Premi?::
Premium until January or February something.
Explain Your VF User Name::
EE-VAL-CUH My user name doesn't have a deep meaning save that I made it up quite a few years ago when I was creating a family on The Sims 1. I thought that it sounded like a fallen angel, and I liked the name a lot just because of that. If and ONLY if I have children, I want to name my first daughter Evalca.

My Exterior

Eye Color::
Most of the time I have green eyes, but sometimes they fade to gray, depending on the weather and my mood.
Hair Color And Style::
My hair color is light brown with blondish highlights and there is some red in the blond. You can't see the red as much as I'd like it to, but I like it nevertheless. My hair currently stretches to my collar-bone, and I haven't had it cut in a few months so my bangs are pretty much equal with everything else.
Do You Have Any Tattoos?::
No, unfortunately. I would really like to get two of them on each side of my rib cage when I have enough money.
Do You Have Any Piercings?::
Only two on each ears, sadly enough. I want to either have a lip ring or a tongue ring. I'm not sure which one, though.
What's Your Style?::
Some would say "emo," others would say "gawth," and a few people who actually pay attention realize that I'm a wanderer. I never tie down to one style; one week I'll be wearing my all black Tripp gear and the other I'll be wearing brightly colored dresses and skirts. All in all, however, I am extremely feminine. I love necklaces, earrings, and eye make up. I'm not exactly awesome at doing the whole "girl thing" but I think I do a pretty decent job.
Best Physical Feature::
I would have to say my eyes. Even though I have to wear contacts and/or glasses, my eyes have never failed me when I wasn't feeling so hot. I can take a look in the mirror in any frame of mind and smile at the eyes blinking back at me. However cliche this may be, I believe that the eyes are a window into their thoughts, emotions, and spirit. And that very fact makes my eyes, and the majority of other people's eyes, the most prominant and attractive feature to me.
Worst Physical Feature::
I'm going to say my physique. I want to lose weight, and I'm going to attempt to do just that. I do not think you should gripe and groan about something and do nothing about it when you have the ability to.
Do You Think You Are Attractive?::
Yes, I do. Whether it is because of my personality or my aesthetics, I feel attractive in my own special way.
Are You Confident?::
Most of the time, yes. Granted, we all have our ups and downs. I usually don't feel so good about myself when I'm physically or emotionally sick, but I usually get over that soon and realize that it's just in my head and I'm still beautiful inside and out.

My Interior

Do You Have Any Fears?::
I am afraid of strangers, people driving by and shooting me, cars not obeying my right of way when I am a pedestrian, falling in and out of love, losing my cell phone or iPod, not getting to college, not receiving a 4.0 GPA, abandonment, hurting others and being hurt, rape, and I could go on, but I think this is enough.
Do You Have Any Weaknessess?::
Yes. Anything to do with computers, the ones that I love, and the peanut butter bars that my mother makes.
What Is The One Thing You Regret The Most?::
I try my best to avoid regretting things because it does you no good to pause and focus on your past when you could be moving forward in your future. However, I suppose if I do regret anything, that would be when I was in 6th grade, (technically 7th since I skipped a grade), and I told my best friend that I hated her because everyone wanted to be her friend and not mine. I was a loner, and I do feel bad for saying it. I just recently found out that she went home and cried the entire night because she thought she was losing her best friend; she didn't know how to fix what other people were doing. I suppose I do feel pretty bad about that.
What Makes You Truly Happy?::
Making something beautiful whether it is a layout, painting, song, story, poem, or anything artistic. I also feel elated when I act live on stage. I also feel happy finishing homework, and feeling loved by someone that I love back, (intimate preferably, but otherwise is okay).
What Hurts You/Has Hurt You The Most?::
The fact that I am so used to being treated like, (pardon my french, but it is the only word that fits), shit by everybody frustrates me to no end. It hurts me because I am used to it. I have tried to develop a relationship with someone who is sweet and expresses their emotions to me, but it does not work out. I feel uncomfortable with their open and caring nature, which is usually my role. In addition to that, I also hurt because I do not tell people if they hurt me, which is probably why they treat me poorly. I'd rather suffer than worry them with my wants and needs. I am getting better about that, but it is my nature to be selfless in certain aspects to an unhealthy degree.
What Angers You?::
People who hurt me and they know it hurts me, my mother acting like she raised me, teachers assigning large projects, people not calling me when they said they would, when I lose things, getting an undeserved grade, my cat puking on the couch and/or carpet, when my sister had a baby because she lost her birth control, when layouts refuse to work, and probably other things as well. Tip of the iceberg, yeah?
What Do You Love Most About Your Personality/Persona?::
I love my inner-depth and ability to create beautiful things. However, these gifts are double edged swords. I am extremely sensitive and moody a lot of the time, and I can think so hard about something that I sink into a depression for a few days. I try my best to avoid thinking too hard about something because it usually doesn't end too well.
What Do you Hate Most About Your Personality/Persona?::
This was a hard to choose because every single time I thought of something I didn't like about myself, I found myself disproving why I disliked it. Although I don't hate this about myself, it is the closest thing I've got. I sometimes wish that I could be much more outgoing and friendly to the people around me. My best friend, the one I mentioned earlier, is a very easy-going person and she treats everyone like she has known them for years. I usually come off as cold, quiet, and unconfident. This is only because around strangers I observe quietly, judging how I am supposed to act around them. Sometimes I wish that I could be warm and a fun person to be with. I am known to meet people when I was hyper, and that changes how people think about me drastically. All in all, I suppose I wish I would act like my age more often. I feel like I'm missing out on something, sometimes.
Would You Change Anything?::
Aside from being a scum sucking human? No. I am who I am, take it or leave it. If time calls for change, so be it. But only if it feels right.
So You Consider Yourself Strong?::
At times I don't feel very strong, but I am told that I am a very strong girl who takes a lot of the world on my shoulders. And I do feel that way a lot of the time. Like confidence, this varies with my state of mind and emotions.
Do You Believe In Yourself?::
I do believe in myself! If I don't believe in myself, then who will? I am rooting for my team, and I am happy to be me. I have a 4.0 GPA, I feel like I am on my way to a good life, and I have amazing friends. I definitely believe in myself.

Tell Us More

What Lyrics Best Explain You And Why?::
"We're only here
Temporarily
So show yourself
And then you'll see
Everything inside
Your life was right
So stop hiding
Behind these battle lines," (Williams, Only Temporarily).
Luke Williams is an alumini from my highschool, and I stole this song from our recording studio.
This describes me fairly well for a multitude of reasons. We're only here/ Temporarily sets tons of emotional triggers in me, mostly because the majority of the relationships I'm in are temporary. And even if they aren't, I see or talk to them for short amounts of time.
The rest of the song makes me think about how much I hide behind paranoia, insecurity, and distrust. Your life was right makes me realize that if I "show myself" to someone close to me, or even myself, then perhaps things will be better for me.
All in all, I love the song and those specific lyrics really hit home for me, because I like to "hide myself" in denial and distrust.
An Event That Changed My Life::
A simple young man boy named Charlie. I met him a few years ago when I was attending middle school. Before him I was insecure, depressed, (moreso than now), shy, and ready to die. I know, I know, that sounds extremely emo and dramatic, but that's how I felt then. My sister was going to have a baby and all that my parents would focus on was her. They couldn't notice that their child was depressed as hell and wanted to kill herself... Sigh. Even though my friend Chelsea was there for me, she was a grade ahead of me. So here was Charlie, here was I, and we clicked through misery. He was lonely, and I was lonely. He's also hurt me a lot, so I've become much less boy crazy. He doesn't hurt me as much anymore because he grew up a little, but it's still crap that he hurt me. However, Charlie and I have been through a lot in the long haul, and I don't know what my life would be like without his male influence in my life. I don't know where we're going, but we're heading there. So I suppose the pivotal moment in my life was when I met Charlie; what a wonderful night that was.
Do You Drink?::
I have had two or three drinks in my whole life, and I don't intend to drink anymore. But never say never, right?
Do You Smoke?::
I myself do not put a cancer stick in my mouth often. However Charlie, my mother, and my stepfather do; second hand smoke.
Do You Do Any Drugs?::
No, I do not. I'm high on life.
Who Is Your Role Model?::

The person that I look up to the most is my best friend, Chelsea. Not only has she been my friend for 10 years, she is strong as hell. She has been emotionally abused by her mother for a little over 2 years, and I'm impressed that she hasn't gotten into any heavy drug abuse. Chelsea is human, and she does break down every now and then, but I couldn't be more proud of her. Usually she puts on a happy face and tries to keep her friends content and amused instead of bitching about her life. I am extremely jealous of this because I usually sulk and stay quiet when I am depressed, but Chelsea is the master of pretending. I am not saying that it's good to pretend that it's alright, but sometimes it is the only thing we can do to survive. Chelsea is a great example of this, and I love her for it.
What Is Your Main Goal In Life?::
My main goal in life is to live life to its fullest. I intend to influence people to go out in the world and do something. I want to make a ripple in the ocean of life and hope that others feel the disturbance; I want change.
Tell Us A Dirty Little Secret::
I've thought extensively about having sex with fucking my married Geometry teacher on his desk after class is over.

I Love Thee

Movie::
It changes by month, but my favorite one currently has to be Juno. I adore the slang, the characters, the humor, the plot, and the way it was shot. I give it many kudos! I love the ending of that movie... the song was sweet. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic.
Song::
Currently it has to be "The Perfect Drug" by Nine Inch Nails. I've loved this song ever since it came out, (yes, I am aware I was merely a tot when it came out). The simple lyrics blow me away and the music video leaves me in awe.
Band::
At the moment it is Death Cab For Cutie. Their vocals reminds me of the much loved Rob Thomas, and the instrumentals in the song "I Will Poccess Your Heart" is awesome. Click to check them out.
Make up::
My favorite make up is of the eye variety. I think it has to do with my infatuation for eyes.
Type Of Music::
I want to say that I cannot settle for just one, but you wish for me to name my favorite, so I'm going to say that I like alternative rock.
Word::
Everyday I find a new one, but today I like Mahonia. I think it's the scientific name for some plant we were studying in Biology. It's fun to say with an Italian accent and while gesturing with your hands in a sweeping manner.
Show::
I think you mean a TV show, so that's what I'm going to answer. My favorite has to be Alias; I will forever think of Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow. What can I say, I've always wanted to be a spy.
Book::
Currently, it has to be the abridged version of Les Miserables. We finished it recently in my honors English class, and I have to say that I cried when I read the ending. This book is realistically depressing, and it really taps into the misery of being human. The only thing that is a let down is the fact that you must get used to the way 19th century French author Victor Hugo writes. It can get boring and very confusing if you are not used to this style of writing. However, it's well worth it if you work hard to comprehend it.
Color(s)::
Black ,(even though it is considered achromatic), Red, Blue, and Green.

We Want To Know

Undefined Beauty is::

One thing in this world that I believe has "undefined beauty" is love. The whole beauty of love is the fact that every single instance of love is completely and utterly different, and yet we all feel the same. This almost defines undefined beauty for me, because we all feel a little helpless when someone asks us how to describe love. I believe it's because love is beautiful and undefined.

My World; My Words


Beauty::
::: Society today believes that beauty is not what each individual believes, but what we believe as a whole. Society today believes that beauty is acheived with make up, clothing, and exercizing. Society today believes that beauty is a face instead of a mind. I strongly disagree with society today. Beauty is not just a great body or a handsome face, but it can be so much more. Along with love, beauty also has a personal definition, and so brace yourself for mine.
::: Beauty to me is the personality, the loyalty, the laugh, the humor, the intelligence, and the wit of the person. Beauty is not set in stone, but fluctuates with time, growing or diminishing. Beauty is the moment that lovers share climaxes, or thoughts and feelings. Beauty is the naked skin against your own, and the call afterward. Beauty is the slender figure of a man or a volumptious figure of a woman. Beauty is the pleasant fragrance of lovers; the gentle toss of their clean hair. Beauty is the shining eyes that hint that there is something more inside. And last but no least, beauty is pain, pain is beauty.
::: Society today enforces their ideas of beauty, whilst we should be developing our own kinds of beauty. We are all different, and thus our tastes should be very different.

Drugs::
::: The majority of the people I know abuse drugs, or they are exposed to it on a day-to-day basis. There is an ever-growing list on how many people I know that have died or have been close to dying when they are intoxicated. Most of the drugs out there are illegal, but why is there a startling statistic on people who die from over-dosing on those specific drugs every year? Setting laws that are stating that the drugs are illegal may not be truly helping anything.
::: If the world was a place where all drugs were legal there would be a bulbous amount of deaths, violence, and crime, but how long would that last? If there were a massive drop in population it would actually assist us due to over population. However in the end the number of deaths would go down for many reasons. One reason would be that mainstreaming the drugs would cause the quality of it to rise dramatically, and it would give a fighting chance to the ones who were already addicted to it. Another reason would be that many people would find that they do not want to end up like their friends or family. In addition to that, youths wouldn’t feel the need to rebel against authority and abuse drugs because it’s legal; it wouldn’t be as “fun”.
::: Outlawing powerful drugs has been the solution for centuries, and statistics could back up the fact that it does help, but it isn’t enough. Obviously the drug abuse hasn’t stopped, and legalizing drugs would be a good option to at least try out. Legalizing drugs would be a test on the population’s intelligence. If someone decided to go crazy and get wasted every day, and eventually end up deceased, it was natures way of telling them that they were weak. Harsh, but realistic. No more, “Do this or you’ll end up in jail”. It would be more like, “Do this and you end up dead”.
::: Drug abuse has been a nation-wide issue for a long time, and will be an issue for many more years to come. I believe that legalizing drugs and let natural selection give way would be a good option to be at hand to select. If it was selected it is granted that there are going to be an endless amount of deaths, but in the long run it will save the same amount of lives; survival of the fittest at best.

Suicide::
:::I believe that the majority of the teenage population has thought about killing themselves. When they fail a class, their parents get divorced, their boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with them, et cetera. Most of the time it's a brief thought that is dismissed as quickly as it came, but what happens when one does not dismiss the thought? Obviously the thought of suicide becomes more planned, dissected, and thoroughly thought out. Eventually that person will become more and more ready to do it, but I've always wondered how they could do that to themselves.
:::I cannot imagine myself getting out some type of weapon and killing myself, whether it was drugs, bullets, blades, or ropes. I've always wondered what separates the suicidal from everybody else; do they not care anymore, or was it an irrational decision made or an unerasable accident? At times I have thought of the people who have commited suicide very brave, because I would never be able to do that to myself. Or perhaps they are just weak, and I am not.
:::All in all, if someone tells me they are commiting suicide I do not tell them they are an idiot and that it's just a cry for help... I support them. I tell them that I love them and wish that they would not do it, but I am not going to try to stop them. This actually worked with a very good friend of mine, Alex. He wanted to kill himself, and I was pretty calm about it, but sad. Eventually he got himself out of the hole he dug himself into and is alive and well today. I'm not sure if I am exactly against suicide, because we all think about it. But at the same time, I would never want to do that to myself.

Sex::
:::Sex can be beautiful as well as ugly. The union of two passionate lovers can blow the mind away. At the same time, however, a one night stand can either fill the void temporarily or make you feel degraded and/or used. Most of the time sex is a topic that us teenagers talk about way too much, and it gets a little annoying when you surround yourself with immature 15-16 year olds.
:::In this society, sex has been taken for granted and has been degraded to something dirty and disgusting. Sex should be a way to show your love for someone. In my life, sex is not be a contest, a way to pass time, or a casual thing that happens with just anybody. I know in my heart that sex is something that you experience with someone you love and adore; nothing less than that. I am not opposed to polyamorous relationships or one night stands, but it is a firm belief in my life that I will not have sex with people I barely even know.
:::When I say "dirty and disgusting," I am referring to the way society treats sex so casually, especially in the media and Hollywood. I am a-okay with having sex with somebody in other positions aside from missionary, I like biting and scratching, I love talking dirty and feeling dirty, and I am interested in other sadomasochistic acts that I won't go into detail on. I believe that sex can be anything you want it to be as long as it makes you happy, (aside from cutting other peoples guts out or screwing animals... I have to admit that's weird), just as long as it's with someone you love.

Profanity::
:::Cuss words can sound absolutely retarded if used in excess. If you say "fuck" every other word you sound like an idiot, to be honest. On the contrary, I think that cuss words are great if used appropriately. Also, I don't think they are awful to use morally or ethically. Because one: the bible doesn't say "thou shalt not say fuck, shit, ass, cunt, whore, damn, et cetera." two: they are man-made words that should be treated like any other crazy word like murder, rape, or sex; you usually don't say them at a job interview.
:::I basically believe that all of those words are developed by society for a reason, and every single person, religious or not, says them at least once. I think that religious people should be much more concerned with putting the "lord's name in vain" instead of words that weren't even mentioned in the bible. It's interesting that people react more to "Fuck!" than "Oh my god!" It's an eccentric generation of people we're in, that's for sure.

Religion::
:::I am Agnostic, and I'm not sure if I'll ever change. Maybe when I'm older and less jaded. I absolutely loathe it when people discriminate against other religions. I have many Christian friends, and it angers me when fellow Agnostics tell me that my friends are idiots because they believe in an invisible dude in the sky. Some people just need that security blanket, and some people are much more comfortable having a relationship with their God, which I'm fine with. However, it's not just Agnostics and Athiests who go around discriminating against Christianity or other religious beliefs. I hear a lot from Christians that they would never date an Agnostic or Athiest. And sometimes they get all snooty and act like they are better than you. Anyway, I just don't understand if I can fall in love and be with somebody with a different belief system than myself, why can't others?
:::I think the bible is pretty astounding. It's one of the oldest books in the world, (Beowulf is the first, I believe), and the stories are a pretty good read. However, the bible is corrupted by man, and so it is not 100% accurate. But, eh, whatever. I still think the bible is interesting. The only thing that I have with the bible, is that I think people should create their own morals and ethics instead of relying on somebody else's morals.

I Want To Change The World::
I would like to say something cliche and overstated such as world peace, but I don't think that's realistic. I suppose what change I would like to see in the worldUnited States is national boot camp. I think it would drastically change this country for the better if all United States citizens were required to go to boot camp at some point in their lives. We would have less crime, less drugs, better work ethics, and everyone would not take their rights for granted. In a study of college students, 60 odd percent of them would trade their voting rights for the rest of their lives if they were given a free iPod Touch. Some people say that they wouldn't mind having all of their rights as an American taken away, which is complete and utter bull. Having a boot camp for this country would kick some ungrateful citizens in the butt and realize what it's like to not have any rights. It'll be humbling, and I think that's what my country needs the most.

For Us Fellow Undefined Beauties

What Does Undefined Beauty Mean To You?::
To me it means a beauty that everyone has a different opinion on, and there are no right and wrong answers to this definition of it. Undefined beauty is the best kind due to the fact that it's possible that you are the only one who thinks it is gorgeous. And that means, to me, that nobody else will want it, so it's yours.
Why Do You Deserve To Be In Here?::
I am intelligent, active, and I usually contribute with maturity and bouts of immaturity and laughter, (at the appropriate times, of course).
Why Do You Want To Join?::
My friend, Caitlin, is in this cult, and I think it will be nice to hang out with a bunch of beautiful ladies who can speak their minds eloquently and intelligently.
What Do You Think Of The Cult Owner And Co-Owner?::
Monica is lovely. I enjoyed her "I Love and I Hate" section the most. It's refreshing to know that I'm not the only one who likes vampire romance stories and Criss Angel; a lot of people at my school tease me for it. She has been hurt a lot by men, and I can empathize with her on that. She is a writer, and that is great. I love humor as well, I'm usually most receptive to people with one. Although I cannot judge her from the profile, I think I would love hanging out with her.
Talena seems like an interesting individual. She seems strong and bold; a neon light in a dark space. I'm not sure if I would respond well to her because she seems a little obnoxious, which I can't tolerate very well if I'm in a quiet and depressed mood. However, she seems mature and has a good head on her shoulders so in the right mood I would get along with her just fine. As I've said with Monica, I cannot say exactly what I would think of her if I knew her, but she would definitely be someone I couldn't forget if I met. Which is not a bad thing at all!
Who Invited You? ::
I found it on Caitlin's profile, which is oh-so-original, by the way.
Will You Be Active?::
If the cult is everything I thought it will be, then yes.
In My Cult, Every Month I Have A Cult Cleanout. Meaning Members Who Did Not Raise Their Posts By 50 Points From The Previous Month Will Be Deleted. What Do You Think About That?::
Great idea and not so hard to do, just as long as there are other members that are actively posting as well.
Will You Invite?::
Not unless it's required. I'm sort of lazy when it comes to that. I usually invite for cults I'm staffing for.
Will You Make Banners?::
Perhaps if it sounds like a good idea at the time. I'm perfectly capable of making one; I have pretty good photoshop skills. It really depends on how much free time I have.
Did You Read The Rules?::
Eat your fucking heart out, darlings.

Flash Memories