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You're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you chromosome-deficient, uber-impotent, rat-faced tard-popsicle. I'm not surprised you're single, you pimple-faced perpetual wedgie victim. Average looking, my ass. You're uglier than the south-facing end of north-bound mule with a ruptured ulcerated fly-covered rump. You're a politically vacillating phony liberal fuck; too damn broadminded to take your own side in a debate. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? Like your height, everything about you is average; except your stench - which is overwhelming. You scrawny-assed, anorexic African famine victim; if you had dreads, I'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. You couldn't get a job cleaning shit off a toilet, you utterly useless wrinkled balloon in a muddy puddle of goat's piss. You couldn't look like a bigger ass in that outfit if you were attached to the backside of Oprah. I've come across decomposing animal carcasses that are less offensive than you are.
What a putrid putrid waste of a penis you are, you ridiculous little mascara face-painted Jerk-In-The-Box. You couldn't get a date if you bought them dried in a tin, you under-medicated, rump-ruptured chronic self-abuser. You're the kind of greasy, giggling, girly gombeen who buys STDs from a viral lab just to make it look like you get laid. You're damn right about being vomit-inducing fugly. You have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. How much would you change to haunt a house? You actually voted for Dubya? What a corporate puppet shithead-loving putz you are, you ultra right-wing, quasi-fascist, Nixon-loving heartless bastard. Calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. Did your mother leave you in the dryer too long when you were a kid, you little tap-dancing Leprechaun in a pink wig? Be careful you don't bump your head on the door handle on the way out. I bet the highway patrol make you wear a sign on your fat ass that reads, 'Caution: Wide Load!' I bet you have to take your salary to the bank because it's too small to go by itself, you pathetic ne'er-do-well. I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? People like you are the reason cults exist. Do yourself and everyone else a favor, go and take a fatal overdose of your medication.
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