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Hi I'm Darkly Very reserved Very quiet very withdrawn Even to those who know my real name I cringe every time someone adds me to friends on here Please don't I rarely message those whom I love and care for online I somewhat doubt I'll have the strength to message you The only reason my "status" is set to "Widow" is because "Widower" is not an available option I hope you can see what I mean now I'm withdrawn from many Unless I speak to you on a cult, I doubt you'll ever receive a reply from me, no matter how "touching" your message may be I don't want to be seen but i can't bring myself to delete my profile the only reason I remain here is for one whom I assigned the status of "little sister" to me, and treat her as such nothing else matters online no false, temporary friendships exist I despise the term "friend" because that only opens one up to betrayal's and back-stabbing's I don't care if you agree and "friend" online only puts you within the ranks of a few who are notified for birthday's, journal's, bulletin's, etc. Withdrawn & Reserved are descriptive words with meanings If you feel tempted to message, keep in mind I may not reply The text below is difficult to read for a purpose. Although it isn't who I am at present, it's what I was for the past year. And because of its content, (of a somewhat sensitive nature to me now), I cannot delete it. Though it used to be a good description of what I am in relation to others online, the facts of that reality contained are no longer real to me, and therefore are no longer accurate. But because there are sensitive past memories contained within it, you may copy/paste it elsewhere to read if you so wish. Hi.
I'm Darkly. Kinda reserved, even to those who know my real name. Sometimes withdrawn even from those in my lists. Just depends whether I've had caffeine that day or not. =] Through my empathy I used to tap in and help anyone as best I could, by feeling exactly what issues were the root cause of the matter and counseling likewise. But when I first came online, I was full of love and wanted to "be there" for as many people as I could. After talking to one suicidal girl for 16 hours on IM, and a few others with in depth social or structural difficulties, everything I had to give was slowly sapped away. I was all that I was through my big heart that I'd open up to as many people as possible, and feel a belonging here online because of my connections with many. But as what I had to give slowly got eaten away, piece by piece, I felt more distant and isolated myself from many of my friends because I felt empty. I feel too much at times, but am unable to cope, and so close up. I was so sensitive when I first came online, I found inviting to cults excruciating. Through just a small icon and brief user details, at a glance, I could tap into anyone anywhere in the world, but I could also feel everything from them. And tapping into 14 y/o strangers and sensing they were raped at age 12 by an uncle, and others whose parents had killed themselves, and others with bullying difficulties at school, and others whose parents are distant from them and so they cut to relieve anguish, and etc, etc, etc. After inviting I'd have my mind filled with the memories of about 50-60 different people and what was going on in their lives. I very rarely found anyone positive or happy amidst the random profiles threads. After inviting to cults, because I had very sensitive psychic abilities, I could feel everyone else's pains, and it would crush me. Now, after all that has happened with my friends, because all I had was slowly sapped away to leaving me damn near empty, I am afraid of how much I can be of myself to those whom I love whilst remaining well and sane in my own mind. So quite frequently, I will close myself off from everyone. DO NOT ADD ME AND EXPECT ME TO COMMENT BACK REGULARLY. There is too much going on in my mind too often that I have difficulty filtering and coping with to be able to adequately reply to all inbox messages from even those I love as friends here online. At the moment I am supposed to be all that I am and more for my girlfriend, Lola. But it wouldn't be showing much dedication to the one I love if I just gave her the dreggs of what I am. I can't give her what's left of me and still feel good about what I give, but I also can't give as much as I'd like to. I wish I were more than I am, but the reality of such is less than you're aware of within yourselves. I've been drained. I felt to delete my account so that I can go into hibernation and come back all that I was and more. But I am too afraid to lose absolute contact with all I have found and care for, regardless of whether I can show it or not. I have had 4 friends, so far, delete their accounts, because I could not message them back, and they thought it was my problem with them, as much as I loved them, I could not reply because all that I was had left me through my helping others. If you manage to catch me at the right moment, I am the most honest, loving and caring man you will ever meet. But that's only if what I feel on that particular day is the need to be open. I take on more than I should at times, and drown myself in the emptiness's as a result. But I can only love others through what I show and feel for them, and so exactly who I am I am not always aware of, but hopefully you can see a little of what I am online, and what others mean to me. Do not expect that I will tap in and help you now, because I am typing all of this as I feel what I have become. I used to be everything and more for my friends. But now I feel less of what I used to be for anyone. I may heal, with time. But in silence my mind dwells often, and in that silence I can *feel* and *see* and *sense* many things none others can. I despise my psychic abilities, at times, but in other times of silence, I can sense so much more about someone else that not even they are aware of. Knowing how much to tell them whilst not shocking them with the future is something that takes a lot of control and judgment. My control of myself is dwindling. I hope you can perhaps see a little more than you thought or sensed previously from me. All that I have become I must save, predominately, for the one girl I love. I can show a little sense and love elsewhere, but I am fast becoming a reserved man. Reserved for myself in order to heal after giving so much. (P.S. If you ask me,"What am I thinking?" I will block/bomb etc.) Fuck with me and I'll fuck you up. Whether that be through making you self-conscious to the point of tormenting self-thoughts or whatever I deem necessary at the time. (Other Premium members are fun to torture with my words/actions online.) I am loyal to those close to me. If people create drama with those in my friend's list, they'd best be careful or I'll strike up a conversation with them.  Layout made by 
Individuals.
People who stand out instead of fit in. "To exist without a voice, follow the crowd." 'Savage Tattoo' magazine. Openness and honesty. Solitude. G-Strings. =] My whip on my back. Huggles. (I'm a real huggle-whore) x] The rain on my face. "BLIND PASSENGERS"
Blind Passengers symbolizes the modern society zombies, who prefer to close their eyes and ears, in order to comfortably and smoothly swim along, with everyone else in the river of society, never painfully bumping into anything along the way, trained by the fear of seeing their own blood. This smarmy tendency remains in our collective subconscious. Gangsters. People who can't handle their piss. (that generally means people who get aggressive on alcohol) Dishonesty. Loneliness. Nose and ear hair. 0.o Popularity. (Anyone wanna give me a 1?) 0.o Filter falling out of my cigarette. I SEVERELY DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY HATE LIARS ONLY TO LIE MORE THAN ANYONE I'VE EVER MET BEFORE. 2 ON SITE I'VE BECOME AQUAINTED WITH WHO STATE WITHIN THEIR PROFILES THEY HATE LIARS, ONLY TO LIE WITH EVERY SECOND THING THEY SAY. If you can't even admit that you have a weakness, (as all humans do), but will openly contradict your values, don't even bother messaging me. In fact, FUCK OFF!  Black Metal Symphonic Funeral Doom Metal Symphonic Black Doom Death Metal Grindcore Drum'n'Bass Electronica European Hardcore Darkcore Speedcore Gabber Darkwave Nu Breaks Trip Hop Industrial Industrial Hardcore Orchestral Goth Metal Lounge/Downtempo Retro-Futuristic. Up until a year ago I could death-growl to The Berzerker for 11 minutes before my throat started to bleed! But I can also sing perfectly to Nickelback and Switchfoot - Stars =] (note: the underlined fonts are links) AcidPunk Agoraphobic Nosebleed Akira & Drokz Angerfist Aphex Twin Armageddon Project ArmbreakeR Art is Anal Art of Fighters Asskicker Autechre Bass D & King Matthew The Bass Factory Basstard Black Hoe Recordings Dj Blitzkrieg Bluetech Bomb The Bass & Lali Puna CAP Catacomb Catscan Chaosbringer Clint Mansell Coffeecore Combichrist Concord Dawn CoreManiax The Crystal Method D.O.A. Dark Soho The Darkraver Darkspace David Holmes Day-Mar Deathmachine Decipher Defqon One The Destroyer Dillinja DMF Endymion Enzyme X Evil Activities Evol Eye-D FC Kahuna Fear Factory Fi-end Fifth Era Flyleaf Fragma Frazzbass Godflesh Goetia Goldie Golgatha Goth Von Core Habitual Hellfish Hidden Human Resource Hypercomplex I:gor iGoA JDA 100 Kilo Maarten King of Chaos Komprex Koney (*****more to come. I'm sleepy*****)       
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