She.

She looks at herself
Every single day
Hating who she is
Hating what she's become
She becomes disgusted
Looking at her own face
Her entire being
From follicle to shoelace
"I hate who I am"
to
"I disgust myself"
Linger in her mind
But no one's there to help
Looking in the mirror
She questions all her being
And why she's even awake
She dare not pull the string
But merely cries herself to sleep
Because no one's understands
[FOR CHRIST'S FUCKING SAKE!]
She's all alone inside
And so is she in mind
Because she pushes [em] away
No one gets to close
Cuz (to them) all she is is prey
She looks at herself
Every fucking day
Not knowing what'll happen next
Not knowing what she'll say
She hates who she is
And knows not why she exists
But deep down inside
She wants to know what her purpose is
She thinks she is ugly
She thinks she is fat
That's for the fiction
Now for the fact
She's absolutely beautiful
I couldn't say it better
Her eyes are simply gorgeous
Marked down to a letter
This girl, I hold, so high in my heart
I could go on all day
If I only knew where to start...
Maybe when she sees
How much I have to say
She will come to realize
This is no game I play
"Smile," says I "oh beautiful"
Oh I know you can
Don't act like you can't do it
And don't let shit hit the fan
Oh how she says that she hates
Everything she is
She clearly cannot see
How much I adore everything she is
For this girl (of which I speak)
Is definitely not meek
She's bold and beautiful
Gorgeous in all ways
Speechless, sometimes am I
Because I am dazed
Now maybe when she sees herself
She'll see how she does appease
With her simply beautiful self
Don't ever change...please?

It's Been Taken Away.

A summer breeze
Shall appease
But not unless you pay
For such things
Like a summer's breeze
Have been taken away
Such beauty and fine class
Have been sent into the past
Now in order to enjoy
Something simple like a toy
One must buy
And certainly lie
And possibly be coy
For such things
Like a summer's breeze
Have been taken away.

I am Convinced.

Change me
Turn my mind into clay
Mold me
Tear away every independent thought
Conform me
Transform me into something I’m not
Contort me
Twist my figure into something grotesque
Distort me
Reconfigure my words to fit your liking
Rearrange me
Flip my life around into disorder
Tempt me
Lure me into the fires of impurity
Torture me
Break my back for reasons unjust
Chain me
Tie me up and don’t tell me why
Cage me
Lock me up and throw away the key
Feeling the inner grasps
As I reach out to touch sanity
My captor, my mind, holds me within its keep
Alone I dwell for a flicker of hope
That maybe I can save myself from me
I rape my mind into configurations of guile
I bedevil my thoughts with my own temptation
My inner core burns with guilt
That has been stricken upon me
For all that I have done to myself
Oh but I am perfection
Oh but I am flawless
Oh how I lie to myself
Oh how the mirror lies
Feeding to me the feelings I want
Devouring my own innocence
I feel my heart crack
As my perseverance goes faint
I am nothing but me
Trapped inside myself
I am me
I am I
I am myself
I am what I have become
The undying conceit
The inner narcissist
Elephantiasis of an ego
Grows with every glimpse
Oh how I am perfection
Oh how I am flawless
Oh how I lie to myself
Oh how the mirror lies
With every shot of myself
Outside I am thickened
Inside I am stricken
Emotions so much thinner
Than the ego that powers them
I am what I am
More so than not
I am me
I am I
I am Convinced.

Looking.

I see in myself the truth from which we are born
As I awaken from my eternal rest
Gazing ever so lightly upon the leaves of the autumn trees
I recognize nothing, for all has been changed
Nothing in mind, not a clear thought
Clouded by the fear
That has overtaken my soul
I peer along the broken bricks
For a single flicker of hope
Now only have I my own reflection
To seek this inner me
…the one I long to be

Pretty Little Runaway

Promise me you’ll come back to me
I’ll never let you go
Promise me you’ll come back to see
That I haven’t let you go
I’ll hold your hand forever
I know it’s what you need
I’ll hold your heart forever
I won’t break it, you’ll see
When you looked me in the eyes
That one last time
I knew for sure you were
That something special to me
I made my choice
And you made yours
I promised I wouldn’t tell
I hold you deep inside my heart
To never let you go
Now you’re gone
And I’m here waiting
The feelings are still here
And they’re here waiting
For when you come back
I know you’ll see
That I’m all you need
You never cease to amaze me
You always make me smile
The very thought of you is consuming
And then my heart races
Promise me you’ll come back to me
I’ll never let you go
Promise me you’ll come back to see
That I haven’t let you go
I’ll remain here for you
Just like I said I would
I made you a promise
That I intend to keep
You’re all that I could want
All that I could ask for
You’re everything I need
I know it, you’ll see
I’ll hold your hand forever
I know it’s what you need
I’ll hold your heart forever
I won’t break it, you’ll see
I love everything about you
From the bad things
To the great things
I’m in love with who you are
Now that you’re gone
I realize what I’ve lost
I realize what I want
Promise me you’ll come back to me
I’ll never let you go
Promise me you’ll come back to see
That I haven’t let you go…
Pretty little runaway
Pretty little girl
Promise me you’ll come back to stay
Promise you’ll give me a whirl

Drop Into Nothing.

Fall into order
Conform to this lie
Fail to see what you live for
Drop down
Don't look don't see
Ignore all the signs
Sent of what you're meant to be
Contort the truth
Distort the hope
Drop down
Walk away from the right
And into the wrong
Blind yourself from pain
By becoming oh so vain
Fall into order
Become this lie
Fail to live
For what you're meant
Drop down
Ignore everything
All that love you
All that see
Become the false
Become the shame
Drop down
Into nothing.

Perpetual Nothingness.

Guide these eyes into the black
Lead this spirit into the dark
Blacken the eyes of thee
The white is all with the pupils
These eyes gazing into the shadows
Bright they are
With the everlasting stare
Fixated on perpetual nothingness
Cast this gawk of a sinner
Blacken these eyes of failure
Tear the skin of error
Dwell into the depths of Hell
Guide these eyes into the black
Lead this soul away from purity
Take these hands and dip them in temptation
Forcing lust upon this ghost
An unlikely cadaver a prospective host
To carry this demon
This darkened soul
Blacken the eyes of thee
Hear this demonic scream
The strain from this be taunting
Shove this God into the pits
Eat this soul with no remorse
Gaze into this ever lustful spirit
Smell the fear in its breath
Guide these eyes into the black
Blacken the eyes of failure
Dwelling ever so deep
The white is all with the pupils
Staring, gazing, gawking, seeing
Fixated on Perpetual Nothingness.