To be completely honest, right now I'm more confused with my life than I've ever been.
People I didn't expect are coming and going.
And some are people I least expected.
I really wasn't ready for any of it.
It took me by such surprise, I was shaken. I don't know if I were scared
Shocked, or what ever other emotion would fit.
But I've come to face things I was hoping I never would have to.
I have never been so confused about who I am as I have been lately.
Ever feel like you're one person, but meant to be someone else?
Are you someone who does things that you hate, but inside no matter
How badly you wanna do something else, it's like you physically can't?
Becoming this person that isn't you but more you than ever before, causing
You to lose the people that mean the most to you, because they don't know
Who you are anymore. They don't even know what name to call you.
You look in there mirror and you see a lie. The lie you tell everyone and
Yourself everyday. What become of you? How do you fix this?
I've never been so confused about people as I am now.
Think about what people have become. Especially on the internet.
Fake pictures, names, ages. You can't trust anyone. Society has become
Utterly pathetic. All these people, so self-centered and narrow-minded.
People trying to ruin other people happiness, even if they say they're just
"Trying to help". Bollocks, the lot of them. To think, at one point it wasn't like this.
And people never being happy, complaining about every little thing. I know what
Some of you reading this must be thinking. I'm a hypocrite because I'm complaining now.
I will not deny hypocrisy but there is a difference between a compulsive complainer
And a rant, merely to point things out and get it off my chest. Story ii.
I do not write my profiles for other. I write them base on what's on my mind
At the time and it clear my thoughts and get things off my chest.
In other words, they're simply for my own amusement and pleasure.
However, if you ask me something or point something out which I have
Already stated in my profile, then I will refer to it. Please, if you're going to
Converse with me and want me to actually talk to you, please take the time to
Read what I was to say, or else I will not bother doing so for you.
I do not care if you agree or like what my profile says. That's great, really. But if
I wanted to know your opinion on it, I would ask.
I can be the nicest person you meet, or the biggest asshole.
It all depends on how you present your self to me. If you do something that I do not
Like, then don't expect me to be nice. That's all there is to it. Yes. I am judgmental.
I pick and choose, but I have just as much of a right to decide with whom I would like to
Blow my time with and whom I would not. I'm not saying I think some people do not deserve a
Chance, but please, considering I give everyone a first chance, do not blow it. You will not
Get another. I've given out very few second chances.
I live my life in fear, to be fair.
I do not trust people, I'm also very paranoid. And yes, I have a relevant excuse.
I have been medically diagnosed with Paranoid Personality Disorder. I hate when people
Self diagnose themselves and go around telling people they have some sort of disorder, when
They really don't. In all honesty, it's not something to joke about. This disorder has nearly taken over me.
I am a thinker and I tend to withdraw and observe things. I restrain myself from expression many emotions
A lot of the time. Often, my feelings are strong than I let on them to be.
It's easy for me to feel overwhelmed, especially when it comes to my emotions and the things that others
Ask/demand of me. I live a messy life style and I'm okay with that. I will admit to be intellectually arrogant.
I'm scared to face reality and consequences, which causes me to sleep as much as I possibly can.
To me, dreams are nightmares because the show what you really want and long for. Your hearts desires.
I feel all the emotions that are meant to be felt in the situation. I feel the happiness, the sorrow, I feel it all.
And I wake up crying every time because I know it's all a lie.
I find what most people call "nightmares" to be rather comforting. They, however, show the reality of things.
They show me the cold hard truth that I need to know and will face the following day. I can handle that.
The naked truth. It helps me learn from my mistakes and realize what I've done wrong, ect.
They are MY reality. But then I wake up and I have to face the actually consequences. I have to face
The things I did wrong. I have to life with it and let it hit me in the face as many times as it pleases.
That is what I'm afraid of. In my "nightmares" I know it's not real, but it helps me and teaches me all the
Same as if it were real. Like an easy way out, but instead of leaving it at that, you just get back handed.
It's true, you can't escape reality.