MARiSSA. I am bewitching, intimidating, shrewd, fickle, and purely cynical. Yes. I consider myself jaded. Would you be surprised if I said I was a shy fool? Most people don't get to know me, they just assume who I am and what I must be like by looking at me. And I notice. I notice so much that it has shaped my outlook of humanity. Judge me by my fists. I can be one two faced liar (to those I hate), its just how I was raised to be, I use that mask of false-self to survive, and look I'm still here, aren't I? I'm that stranger you see walking across the sidewalk with such a powerful stride, the one you can't help but nod to, do you know what I am thinking when I smile back? I am made of diamonds. My essence cries in crowded rooms alone. I am like this for many reasons, I'ma tell it how it is. Its mainly because of being broken down and then remade into the boss that I am at a young age. I am overworked and under payed but I love the stress. Why spend your life growing someone elses views if your not enjoying the moments. I am surrounded by stereotypical surroundings, its a struggle not to slap some sense into the golden age. Pift night life is more for me considering the constant insomnia, & my workaholic ways. I see everything from a metaphoric lense. I have hardcore Chicana pride. My only secret is my pitiful phobia of deep water masses. If you really cared, then you would pick up your phone right now and call me. Is it so bad that I am earthbound? I worry so much and wish to the heavens things would just move, I get aggervaited easily, but I also instantly know if your worth my time. I may super procrastinate, but when I work I put my soul into it, so that I can go home and faint into blissful sleep. This is a test, we make our own hardships, so don't blame others for your choices, because there is alway another way. I have seen, and now I live. I hate being alone, but I walk a two feet road. And when I have friends they are forever, I don't bullshit around. When you need help, you don't even have to ask, I already know. Even if the commitment is all mine, I will still rise beyond others. Real friendship is when blood flows, I miss it. I give everything to those closest to me. I could peel your layers like that of a crispy apple and bite the life outta ya, but then what would be the fun in that? Poetry is my pastime. There is nothing better then viewing your essance through permanent ink. I can't sleep without music on, in fact I basically live with my headphones on. I drive like someones chasing me, windows down, with my favorite tunes up to the max as I flow between the slower obsticales. Yes, I will keep up the set ways, but I feel that you don't have to be told what to do, you have to follow your own thoughts. Lets be productive huh, I hate wasting air. Thank you, but I hoped you were different, sheep are to be eatten. I draw out the unorganized beauty of graffiti upon butchered and bleached tree hide. I eat like it'll be my last bite, because it has been, and choose to live on a hard path for my own reasons. I have this need to help. To defend the undefended, I can't stand someone who doesn't know their rights. Don't ever tell me "it can't be done", because it can, just go for it - it is worthwhile to reach your dreams. Don't get me wrong, I have never been given a chance, I make my own standard, all this is the result of me deciding to live today or just exist. My co-workers think of me as ridicioulous. Maybe I grew up too strong. So what if I've experianced more in such a short time, I rather get things done the right way once. Ironically I was born by the sea, call me the mermaid that couldn't swim. Respect to be respected. If I fussed over you, would you smile that sly way? I judge by the true quality of a person. The soul is the ultimate gift. I hate having to be the one that decides such important things, but then why do I always act first, even if I speak last. When you take charge, or when you know so much more than the "experts", or when you become the example, thats what impresses me. Knowledge is my candy, I want it all. I rest under willow trees, and only need my garden to be happy. Joy is when you lay outside, looking up and watching bubble clouds pass, the smell of freshly cut grass, the sound of a nearby stream and knowing you don't have to wake up. I love animals, I wish I still had my puppies, I have a kitty now, I love her so much she is my Star. When I whisper is when you should be listening. Its the small stuff that gets to me. If I showed you the me behind the mask, would you still fight for me? I feel that my boots define me, and an all wheel drive is most efficient. If I had a dream it would be to one day wrap my thighs against the rumbling engine of a motorcycle. A good quality knife is hard to find. If I laughed in your face, would you just chuckle back? Kick Boxing is hot, but uniforms are arousing, one day I'm going to join the military. If I didn't have such a girly voice, would you be less shocked when I beat you? I've enjoyed these melting moments of pleasure, but I would give it all up just to see you one more time. It goes further than temptation, I restrain myself, this is my weak side. I snack on blackberries, and thirst for the sweet liquids of that - that mother nature provides with lemon. Fast & faster is the only movement I know, don't tread into white lines, if you can't dance with the near death speeds. When I am at my worst, I go into workout mode and let my hair down. I would feel better if I cooked, than if I just ate. Sunflowers are a must. Sour and spicy are my flavors, the hotter the better, even with the fan on high. The more I'm made to follow the standard, the more I'll sweat to break your limitations. Bounderies are nice, but they are ment to be explored into newer territories. Never forgive, never forget! Coding is my way to explain the landfill of a world that I currently reside on. Even if I've been slacking on being myself, but I could never hide. Anything and everything for my loved ones, I could never second guess the quality worth of the heart. Would you say my eyes are my best asset, since they can see more than a slip of a comment. Words cut more than you know. I just want to live in a society with a sharper retrospect. Do you think I would be somewhere I didn't want to be. I have a reason for everything, otherwise I wouldn't be doing it. If your quite you might hear my heartbeat. Its just my luck to be fool enough to be caught under the wolfs claws. I've wokenup to a world where I am slowly dying inside, I am afraid that soon such insight could blind. I am officially back "online". If you can see me, why can't you catch me? This battle is neverending, but I know who has won, I just thought somehow in some way I wouldn't have had to end it. I believe in the Sun and the Moon, as the red rain falls, so do these walls. I hate this cold darkness, but its the only assurance I have of reality. This is me, so who are you again? Ugg, one day I'ma know the truth, so start running, because the race has begun. Oh shit, too late I already know, its called "what a disapointment". Expect the unexpected, there is no excuse, you make your own fate. Now get outta here, your scaring the dead. Like with all cyber geeks, I get bored easily so if you know, send me a PM.

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