If I struggle a lifetime,
What would my body be?
An empty shell,
On what a demon fed
Could be a heavy burden,
To stay true to your words
Speak up,
I wanna silence everything
If I got no plan,
Doesn't mean that I get what I want for free
If I got no meaning,
Would you force me to a place where I make sense?
'Cause nothing lasts forever
How do I get home?
Everything revolves around you
If I can't find myself?
As you're so completely fake
How do I get home?
Everything revolves around you
If even you can't help?
Dark nights from my soul
I deny failure,
I Ignite
Woe is on my misery,
She wins all their eyes
Realise what they find's not fate,
This is not me, this is me
So if I struggle a lifetime,
What good would that do?
If I got a plan,
Doesn't have to stop the feeling inside
If I do make sense,
Would you drag me down?
'Cause nothing lasts forever
How do I get home?
Everything revolves around you!
If I can't find myself?
As you're so completely fake!
How do I get home?
Everything revolves around you!
If even you can't help?
Dark night from my soul
It's amazing you know.
How we see things, yet we are so blind.
Everyone's helpless.
So, I keep having these dreams where I die and sometimes come back to life or go to a different place. They all feel so real, it's crazy.
But I don't know what they mean.
And sometimes I dont want to wake up because it is so intense.
I kept having this one a while ago where I died and had to walk forever to this gray place and flew around in nothing forever and it was amazing. I dont even know how to explain it but then I would have that same dream the next night only when i got to that place I wasn't able to fly.
Whoah, It's been awhile.
Here I am again writing in an online journal wondering if someone would waste their time reading it. People are strange, who knows.
First is a question.
What is it that we want out of our time here alive? Or asleep for a lack of a better explanation.
Second, update:
I am now a walmart employee. I am an overnight maintenance person which will be perfect because well, I don't sleep at night. And I don't really have to interact with much of anyone except for the people who do their shopping at three in the morning.
Which brings me to a nother point in my life.
Due to a recent chain of events that i thaught would never happen or might happen way further down the road happening in the same short time frame, I have become verry anti social.
I Ieel ike I wouldn't know how to communicate with people in a normal setting.
I'm not all to sure how to explain it.
I've been spending all my time with the same few people trying to make this person's last few days seem worth it and finding myself in the process.
This time has also showed me how were all the same.
And what I truely care about.
And how much someone can affect your life and way of thinking.
The way you see things and your reality.
Which has led me to the question, what do I really want.
And maybe the answer.
The great explanation. The choice.
Or the option.
The secret.
Someone is trying to explain the answer to you.
Why can't we hear it?
Why have we created this reality?
