Some types of pain could never truly be forgiven
Because the hurt can never be forgotten
Lurking underneath the still calm surface.
Cold darkness suffocates
A constant and deceptive reminder
Perpetually intertwined ingrained in ones being
An ache that not only supplies a haunting memory
But provides the basis of your existence
And drastically alters the course of your life forever
Ideologies and emotions compiled
Molded by the lingering acts
Cleverly disguised in every word spoken
Souring with bitterness each laugh
It stares indifferently without remorse
From an aging reflection
Scars formed by unrestrained emotion
and echos of a lost sad soul
In a diary made of flesh so cold.
Each with its own date and memory
An internal event horizon
In which no experience escapes its grasp
To be asked to relinquish it
Is to request you surrender a piece of yourself
The impossibility of partial suffering
No mistaken affection prevents the misery
simply self preservation to one own sad soul
And an ignorance of life without the pain and sorrow..
Mood: calm in my darkened mind... Music: Saturn Form Essence
And you backstab your real friends because you need to look cool?
People that you most likely will never ever meet are your priority rather then your friends that you see in real life.
You've become everything you used to see as distasteful.
Anyone who knew you, no longer trusts you..
You're a s#^* talker now
People you used to constantly talk crap about are now like your best friends.
Haha sadly hilarious to me.
If you read this and get offended (which you shouldn't) then maybe you need to look at yourself.
(By the way this is in no way targeted to anyone who is internet popular or internet famous.)
Lost souls.of senseless happenings,
Where has it all gone,
The breaking of dishes shatter in our brains,
The gravel shakes us off our feet,
It was also always there, but parted ways,
Miss stepped skies, the glass full of so much undying and unconditional treasures,
It shattered away, lost in all of these mathematical pleasures,
Winking at the light,
Dawn of heavens that broke in to hell,
Taking time to realize we all are losing something,
It hurts, the walls are washed of gray,
Lost in a maze of missing, where did this come from,
Walking on the ashes of burnt dreams, standing across worlds it seems,
All the tears fall in like rain on a december morning,
Four months and 11 days, counting everything,
All the missing pieces, the puzzle fit, but one beautiful piece of life was taken from you,
I walk under the stars with hope in my back pocket,
Waiting eternities, no divinities, its missing, this pillow is wet,
She was loved once, whole heartedly, like she was never loved before, it was gone in the blink of an eye, without reason, it all vanished like it never existed,
Twisted brains and deadly guts, it all aches for every missing moment, every missing smile, every missing touch, every missing gutter punk, this one is missed, broken streets, yes we were "the kids of the blackhole," we were what that melody was, there was a home in the heart and then it went away,
Drinking away her desires, touching the black glass, hoping to cross over in to that world, hoping to get back in, it was just for a while, then it all seemed to die, where did it go, walking in this misty air, the cold skin, I can feel, there is no communication all has been blocked out,
Hoping for it all to come back,
The fall leaves have not come in yet, the music in my ears tell.me stories, hooks in her back, falling into the mud, break it away, take it away and make it yours, leave it behind, follow the road to it all, the world shutters at the squares and circles, life cycles, brush against the lashes of the gasamia veins, left over dressings, hold it on the coffee table, grabbing lost voices in the.microphone, its okay..
Mood: Namen Music: The adolescents- kids of the black hole
I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I scream for help but no one is there to hear me
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail, but my sorrow has tied my hands
fighting to stay above the darkness until tomorrow
But loneliness and darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in, because then I'm free
to the feeling that lies below the water line for me
the water starts to fill my lungs, that once held so much life you see
yet now they allow the murky waters to replace the life in me
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness, only sadness
But why doesn't someone grab my hand and
pull me away from the darkness and onto land..
Because no one knows I stand at the boundaries
yes the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my broken heart
can't save me from the waters dark
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to be lonely anymore
I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading from my suffering past
my thoughts are invaded by memories as they cast
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
I lay here on the shore, I have no strength to get up
I'm just not worth it anymore...
That for months I have been talk of the vf town?
I really don't give a damn, that is why I never respond.
I'm bringing this up , because a person I'm close to brought it up.
I am disliked, I am someone that is envied, and I am someone that is intimidating apparently?
You don't like me, it does not bother me nor is it my problem.
You envy me? Why? I guess I am flattered.
I'm intimidating? I don't see why.
But yeah, those are my public answers.
Those of you that want to rant away, make a big deal, be a smart ass and respond or dedicate a whole thread or journal to me, go for it.
Why do I say that? Because that is mainly what happens
completely irrelevant to above said.
Aww yay!!!!! I'm so excited totes! Deli Thank you Anarchy. Haha aww Sin thank you Matt you are to kind. But, I see the logic, as I live my life and accomplish things, others tend to blah blah about me. As overused and old this line is; the fact of the matter is "they have nothing better to do" Veige thanks Haha phoenix
I am so out of the VF loop, because I haven't heard/seen anyone talking shit about you. Man I need to get some disposable income so I can get to the VF club nights! But you are so above all this, and these petty people and you know it.
I end up just putting in everything remotely interesting, seeing as how most of the products are drop shipping, it doesn't cost us anything to have them on the site. Vf travel mugs would be something new that need to be manufactured. When jets less busy with everything I'll suggest it too him.
The negative comments on my last journal have all been deleted.
One of the saddest versions of envy is when it's of someone you don't know and over the internet.
I am doing big things and don't care for your comments and nor do any of the people involved. You see we have lives outside of the online life you seem to live in.
We have jobs, school and we do so much more.
All I want to say is bless your hearts and I hope your lives get better and that you eventually grow out of harassing others and attempting to badger their accomplishments.
I hide behind the dark curtains in my mind.
Shielding myself from my own life.
There is a mist that caresses my sad soul.
But with my life, I am losing hold.
I shelter myself behind dark
windows that cover my broken heart.
Letting my spirit ride the shadows of the dark.
I am haunting myself in my own worst nightmare.
Looking at pain in the face with their deadly stare.
I am hooked on sorrow, but its never enough.
Choking on loneliness that is cursed by sadness...
To celebrate the Equinox, here's Heatwave straight out Two Of Three: Albedo: the second phase of the alchemical transformation will be reached on on the eve of 31st October 2014, in time for the pagan festivities of Samhain (also know as Hallowe’en). Following the chaos or massa confusa of the Nigredo stage, the alchemist undertakes a purification in Albedo, which is literally referred to as ablutio – the washing away of impurities. In this process, the subject is divided into two opposing principles to be later coagulated to form a unity of opposites or coincidentia oppositorum during Rubedo. Here can already pre-order it on Bandcamp and get Heatwave right now. iTunes pre-orders will follow-up soon.