Yup, I'm back, with yet another entertaining rant. This one, however, unlike others, is completely work related. You see, every once in a while, an employee comes along that just blows your fucking mind with their complete and utter stupidity and lack of self awareness. I see these kinds of things happen with our generation all the time, and it makes me genuinely fear for our society. So please allow me to show you what to NOT do at any given job, as I tell you the very real story of a man named Joshua Noble in Laramie, Wyoming.
Disclaimer: It is not illegal to disclose facts about why a person was terminated or recount factual events. No matter how incredulous any of this this may make you, everything you are about to read is factual and bears witnesses. The purpose of this story is to educate and inform, as well as to defend myself and others from flagrantly false allegations...as well as entertain. Enjoy.
As most of you know, Chantelle and I own/operate a transportation/parts running business here in Wyoming. Every once in a while, as some employers do, we get in a bind and need a position covered. Depending on the severity of the situation, we may or may not be willing to gamble a little bit on giving someone a job..someone who doesn't necessarily jump off the paper at you, but at least seems capable. Benefit of the doubt is naturally given if Chantelle already knows them or is "friends" with them. Only...this time, that was a big mistake.
This is how we ended up with a employee named Josh. Chantelle has known him for years....even dated the guy a long time ago. And he fit the basic legal and insurance criteria for the job. So, she hired him. And things were fine for......a week?
The first sign that things could have been a problem should have been his "résumé", which honestly looks like it was organized by a 6th grader and was devoid of any real information. Or maybe I should have put more stock in the fact that at, what, 24 years of age, he has little to no work history and smokes weed as a way of life.. But like I said, sometimes an employer has to gamble a little bit. And so we went on.
Then the complaining began. He didn't like what days we get paid on. He didn't like the pay rate. He didn't like which vehicle he was assigned to drive. He didn't like how "boring" the job was. Even if the man wasn't complaining about something in particular, he simply would never shut up. He would actually go out of his way to text Chantelle during his shift, on her day off, to complain about being bored or to ask some random stupid question.
But whatever, right? Some people are just annoying. That's fine. But, then shit just got stupid.
This self-proclaimed "mechanic" had a headlight go out on him on the company vehicle. Okay, whatever. Come get money from me, go get a headlight and replace it.
"It still doesn't work. I think there's something else wrong with it."
As it turns out, not only did he waste company money on the wrong headlight bulb, but he changed the wrong bulb (the low beam was out. So he replaces the high beam. Like, what?). HOW DO YOU FUCK UP CHANGING A LIGHT BULB?!?!?! Your "mechanic" skill set astounds me.
Later, as a fuel pump in the vehicle begins to give way, Mr. Mechanic over here decides to tell Chantelle that it's the alternator, and that "he knows what he's talking about". A day later, the fuel pump finally gives out. I'm available this time, and it takes me a whole ten whopping minutes to diagnose it as such.
We're not even getting started. Yes, we've established that he's annoying, we've established that he's incompetent, and we've established that he wastes company money. But it gets better.
After he takes nearly twice as long on a particular run as he should, and is costing me money by the minute, he calls me to let me know he's on his way to me. I'm already beyond irritated, as I'm standing there waiting along with my next driver, so I tell him, "Okay, but make it snappy".
Oh. My. God. Apparently that started World War III. Because apparently your BOSS simply telling you to hurry up is so beyond disrespectful and unbelievingly uncalled for that he just can't take it.
The next night, while on the job, he then proceeds to tell Chantelle that "he's quit jobs over less", that he should "beat my ass", etc. And that he's "putting his two weeks in". After hearing about the "beating my ass" comment, I inform him that I do not care about his authority problems, and that if he cannot handle being told to "hurry up", then he's got bigger problems than his damaged ego, etc. I also told him, in as many words, that I will not tolerate being threatened or insulted behind my back while he is on the job, and that he needs to either be professional or find another job that will tolerate his incessant whining.
Fair enough, right?
Nope. He then tells Chantelle (again, CHANTELLE. Not me. Never has the balls to say any of this to me) that I can "fuck off".
Okay, cool. At this point, he has told Chantelle he's going to keep working until we have his replacement ready, so that we aren't dicked over (probably moreso because he needs the money and can't find another job, but I digress). How nice of him. Except, I'm about to fire him anyway, without a replacement. But okay...we have qualified applicants. All we have to do is put up with him for another week, then he's gone on his own terms (as his replacement starts then). One more week. Shouldn't be too bad, right? Wrong.
1) He then decides, in spite of being explicitly told otherwise, and also claiming to have read the company website which explicitly states otherwise, that he is going to extend a particular deal we were offering, for an extra night...thereby costing us more money.
2) A few days later, knowing he works the night shift with Chantelle, he decides to go out of town in the morning and then stay up all day to go to a car show...then call in to work because he "hasn't had enough sleep". This is on the busiest night of the week for us, and also comes as Chantelle is already getting legitimately sick as a dog. Way to dick us, right?
3) He then calls in sick two nights later on Chantelle's only night off, as she's even more sick, and has had no sleep.... and we have no one else to cover at the moment (the new employees can't start until next week, etc.).
So yea, I fire his ass. I've had it. The following conversation then ensues via text:
Me: "Your employment with us is over. You can pick up your last check as usual on Friday."
Josh: "Dude I already put my two weeks in like two weeks ago"
Me: "...and claimed you were continuing to work until we found someone to replace you. (Chantelle and I do talk, you know). It's okay. Now you don't have to worry about it at all."
Josh: "Yea I was trying to help you out and not fuck you over but I guess not sorry I got sick"
Me: "Also, in light of your last several stunts, do not expect a positive reference from us"
Josh: "What the fuck ever sorry I had to call in twice in the whole five months I been working for you I don't want anything from you except my paycheck so please quit texting me im going back to sleep"
At this point, he seems genuinely deluded as to why he was fired. So I decide to at least give him the courtesy of explaining why he was finally fired at this point. I was going to leave it alone after that....except, he once again got personal with me (and then claimed I was "harassing" him)
Me: "The reasons you were fired: 1) You complain nonstop 2) You're too slow 3) You have problems with authority 4) You cannot follow directions 5)Saturday was your own fault and it royally dicked us. 6) Last Sunday you cost us money because you couldn't listen or read. 7) Many of our regular customers refuse to ride with you. THOSE are the REAL reasons. Have a nice day."
Oh boy, can't let it be at that, can we?
Josh: "What the fuck ever i quit because youre a dick and you have no human resources skills or professionalism whatsoever grow up and get over it"
Yup, my feathers are a little rustled at this point.
Me: "Your lack of accountability is astounding. I can see why you have such as extensive work history and such a profound résumé. Anyway, I'll be sure to work on that, because a college education, years of industry experience and management experience is nothing compared to your 'opinion'. Lol. Getting personal with me yet again won't get you anywhere, and it won't mask your flaws and what everyone else around here thinks of you"
I'm still trying really hard not to fly off the handle at this kid, but whatever. His response?
Josh: "honestly I don't give a shit i asked you to leave me alone its not very professional to harass your former employees after the call in sick after they quit.."
Wait, what? How do you call in sick AFTER you've quit? Dude, you were fired. Accept it.
Josh:"...if you text me again im going to block your number and post your "human resources skills" on facebook"
I've been threatened with being "posted about" on "Facebook". Really? That's like, the equivalent of saying, "I'm a fucking pussy." I also love how it's okay to insult, swear at, and threaten someone repeatedly, but if they respond, it's "harassment". GTFO.
Josh: "I would like to leave on good terms but your making it very hard to do so lets just leave it at that and leave each other alone"
No no, you don't get off that easy. Not this time. Now I will push it.
Me: "You made it personal, entirely separate from work, when you started namecalling, swearing at me, making childish threats, etc. Oh, and your ridiculous "I should beat his ass" and "fuck him" comments while on the job? Yea, REAL professional. I've restrained myself quite well, according to most people, despite your efforts to make it ugly. So, post away. But I will post the entire, unedited version, with witnesses, of the situation across multiple sites."
.....silence......
Not another word from the kid. So, I can only assume he's "made good" on his almighty "Facebook threat". Lulz.
So here I am, covering my ass...while showing he rest of you how to NOT operate at your job.
When you, as a former employee, start calling people names, swearing at them, and making childish threats, in addition to previous instances of talking about "beating their ass" (WHILE ON THE JOB FFS), you've made it personal. If you no longer work together, that person is no longer bound by the limits of "professionalism". When that person responds (in a restrained manner, I might add), they aren't "harassing" you...they have every right to respond on a personal level. You should consider yourself lucky they continue to restrain themselves from stooping to your level, and that they have (still!) responded with a considerable amount of taste and respect.
Not to mention the fact that when you're that much of an idiot, you deserve everything that anybody has to say about you.
I'm curious to know what slandering me on Facebook is going to accomplish, though. Does he somehow think he can take down the whole company? Him and what army? his little dimebag of weed with a plastic sword? Half the town is pissed off at him and what he's done to us, and the other half is glad they don't half to fucking deal with him anymore.
Like, really kids. Self-awareness is a lifesaver. If you can't recognize it when EVERYONE hates you, is annoyed by you, etc., you're never going to get anywhere in life. You're not a poor, downtrodden soul. You're an idiot that can't get their shit together.
I never needed your sympathy
I never needed a different scene
I never needed a reason to bleed,
Like the way you're reeling from me.
I never needed a way to be right,
I never needed my head held high.
I never needed the mess you made,
But I pick up the pieces anyway.
And I wonder what it's like
Behind your clouded eyes.
You bear the reasons, and I'll bear the cost
You bare your feelings, and I'll bear the cross
You let it all fade, and I'll walk away.
But the best part of you is the worst in me.
I never knew why you were so cold,
I never needed to watch it unfold,
I never thought these dreams were that old,
Like the secrets you left untold.
I never wanted to be in the right.
I never wanted my head held high.
I never wanted the mess we've made;
You never pick up the pieces anyway.
And I wonder what it's like,
Underneath your faded smile.
You bear the reasons, and I'll bear the cost
You bare your feelings, and I'll bear the cross
You let it all fade, and I'll walk away.
But the best part of you, is the worst in me.
...driving down the street, minding my own business...
...when I notice this car behind me. Shocking, I know. But, this nice BMW (easily worth 3 times what my car is worth) starts creeping pretty close to me. Instinctively, I'm like yea, I should probably speed up a little. (I am, after all, cruising around with nowhere in particular to go. I figured I was maybe lolligagging, maybe going a little too slow)
Yea, except I look down, and realize I'm actually speeding.
So, I keep an eye on this guy behind me, and he's like a foot and a half off of my bumper...even though I'm doing well above the speed limit. He proceeds to tailgate me for several blocks.
We then turn down the other main street in our town, which is two lanes each way. No traffic around us, he could easily pass me if he really wants to go illegally and obnoxiously fast, or if he's in a hurry, right?
Right...except he stays in my lane, right behind me, on my bumper still. We come to a stoplight and stop. It turns green, and the fucker is moving before I can even take my foot off the brake. He then continues to stay behind me, no more than 4 feet off my bumper at any given point, for several blocks...for no apparent reason than to irritate me.
So it's been two streets, easily twenty blocks...halfway across town ffs. So, I snap. It takes a lot to get me to this point, but he got me there. I lock my fucking brakes up as hard as I can. I had every intention of being hit. I don't know how the fuck he didn't hit me, except maybe that his $60k car is bound to have a better brake package than mine.
He then starts throwing a fit at me in his car, as I'm watching him in my rearview mirror, and he seems genuinely perplexed as to why I would brake check him.
HE THEN CONTINUES TO RIDE MY BUMPER FOR ANOTHER BLOCK after we get back up to speed.
So I then drive half the speed limit for a block and a half on our town's main fucking street to drive the point home further. Does he go around me? Nope. He just rides my ass more. So I brake check him again, and then go back up to speed. As I roll down my window to flip him off, he decides he's gotten to where he's going, and gets in the turn lane. I flip him off as I pull away.
HE WHIPS OUT OF THE TURN LANE and screams back up on my ass, acting like he's gonna "do something". (Lol, like what? Call me names? Fucking rich college kid brat.)
A block later, as I'm getting ready to turn into a parking lot and park so I can beat his fucking ass (I've accepted that I'm going to jail at this point, and I'm entirely okay with it), he decides he's turning off and that what he was thinking probably wasn't a very good idea.
I haven't seen him since.
Moral of the story? Besides the typical people are FUCKING RETARDED sentiment; I have now made the resolution that the next time I brake check someone and they don't get the hint, I'm going to jail for the first time in my life...because I am going to stop my car, put it in park in the middle of the street, pull that person out of their car, AND BEAT THE LIVING SHIT out of them just to prove the point that stupidity should be painful.
On a closing note, I'm really kinda sad that he didn't manage to hit my car. :/ I need a new one anyway, and his tailgating issue would have paid for it.
I AM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of EVERYONE pulling the "I have back problems" card, or the "I have such and such mental disorder" card. Like fucking seriously, I don't believe anyone, anymore. Period. And the reason it's more than just a slight annoyance to me is that now more and more, I hear people mention/talk about it NON FUCKING STOP, complain about it nonstop, and worst of all, trying to get on taxpayer funded living for it. It's like, really? I don't work my ass off just for my taxes to fund your life because you claim your supposed "depression" or "bipolarity" or "bad back" renders you "incapable" of working. It's fucking ludicrous that everywhere around me, people are trying to get on disability for some alleged "mental disorder" or "physical ailment" that's just "soo bad" that they can't even work a computer job. Not going to name names, but I've even heard of some people trying to get on disability because they have a drinking problem. Like, fucking really? REALLY!?!?! Fuck you.
On top of that, people mention it all the time or are like "Oh, me too!" when mental disorders come up in conversation. IT'S NOT A BADGE OF HONOR, YOU FUCKING DIMWITS. And just because you think you can self-diagnose (or, your doctor is a fucking tard that just wants to make money) doesn't make it true. All so you can sit at home while taxpayers fund your iPhone and big screen TV. GTFO.
And before you try to tell me, "Oh, you don't know what it's like": I was on such a vicious cocktail of medications for clinical BPD, ADHD, and Insomnia as a kid (15-20 years ago, BEFORE being diagnosed with the shit was considered "cool"...lame asses), it gave me hallucinations and caused headaches that STILL plague me to this day. Also, rampant, destructive alcoholism and drug abuse runs in my family, and I myself struggled with drinking for YEARS. Yet, somehow I managed to not glorify it, not claim I couldn't work because of it, and not hold it up as some sort of fucking battle scar and yammer about it every day, or try to "one up" people in conversation because of it. I go about my life as a responsible adult, make choices, go to work, and live my life.
My ex father-in-law should have stopped doing physical things years ago because of his back, and somehow managed to go on, do what he needed to do, work, help us out with our kids, our cars, and whatever else, and NEVER ONCE complained about it. I didn't even know he had back problems until his wife told me.
So I have two fucking words for you people: WILLPOWER and RESPONSIBILITY. End. Of. Discussion.
Thought I'd share with you all. Pretty cool. Check it out:
Your Heart was Built on a Graveyard of Lies is the first full-length release from The Challis Effect, the solo project of Boise, Idaho native, Matthew “Axl” Brammer. Prior to writing as The Challis Effect, Brammer had spent a decade playing in extreme metal bands. In December 2011 he decided to tread a different musical path; a project, which would ultimately put his skills both a songwriter and multi-talented musician into the spotlight – whether that was the intention or not.
Your Heart was Built on a Graveyard of Lies draws influence from many different genres, but sits most comfortably somewhere in the region of post-grunge, where particular influences from bands such as Default and Tantric can be heard.
Opening track “Pass the Days” sets the tone for the record, drawing us in with its acoustic opening, and introducing Brammer’s signature vocal delivery. There is a raw, gravelly quality to his voice and every word is delivered confidently and authenticity.
It is evident from tracks such as “You Fail Me” that as well as being a powerful songwriter, Brammer still has at least one foot in the metal genre. He often layers fairly heavy distortion over the acoustic instrumentation, which for the most part builds depth and adds intensity – it is particularly effective in “Time to Say Goodbye” and “Watch It All Die” where it feels almost cathartic. However, in some cases the distortion can be a bit overpowering and could perhaps be used more sparingly to provide a more varied dynamic overall.
It is evident from Your Heart was Built on a Graveyard of Lies that Brammer has a knack for writing emotionally fuelled alt rock songs, and his raspy delivery enriches his lyrics with a genuine sincerity. Due to the strength of the songwriting, many of the tracks would work with nothing more than an acoustic guitar accompaniment, which is a testament to Brammer’s proficiency at his craft. Standout tracks include the completely acoustic “Fade” which showcases Brammer’s songwriting skills perfectly, “Watch it All Die” and “Better Days.”
The physical release of the album contains four bonus tracks; covers of “Cumbersome” and “Breathless” by Seven Mary Three and 40 Below Summer, respectively, and two piano demos; “Brittany’s Serenade II: The Memory” and “Not for Me,” which showcase a softer side to Brammer’s writing, and hint at yet another direction he could pursue if he chose to.
Overall, Your Heart was Built on a Graveyard of Lies is a solid collection, and deserves the attention it has recently received on the ReverbNation charts. While at times, the tracks may be a little too busy and distortion heavy for some, the songwriting and delivery are consistently strong. One thing is for sure - there is no denying the level of talent and dedication that gone into recording this album, and that is something that Brammer should definitely be proud of, and something that the independent music industry should be celebrating."
-Ross Barber, writer/reviewer for electrickiwi.com/ReviewYou (Ariel Publicity)
In case you missed it, the album is downloadable for only $2.50 at http://www.thechalliseffect.com/music, with previews. Full album stream on mainpage. Also, 10% of all sales are going to the Jeff Gordon Children's Foundation
As many of you may have caught by now, my band The Challis Effect's debut album, Your Heart Was Built On A Graveyard Of Lies, is now officially available in digital form. It contains the final album versions of several of the popular demos from the beginning of the project, several brand new songs, and the digital version contains a bonus track that was written and recorded after the actual album sessions were already done. The physical version will be released March 1st and contains four more bonus tracks (two piano demos and two acoustic covers, as well as bonus merch).
For those of you who are fans of soft rock,. acoustic based stuff, and post grunge, I think you'll like this and I hope you'll support it. Though it was underfunded and very much an indie album, I'm proud of the songs themselves and I'm very excited as to the future of this project. It has already gotten a lot of positive critical response from writers and musicians alike, and it has definitely set the tone for what this project is and has been all about.
The album was engineered, mixed, mastered, and produced by Johnny Dove and myself, and album art was done by VF's own Morgan Kelsie McGuire (@vontwinkie). You can see more of Morgan's work at http://www.morgan-isms.com
The album is available for download through Amazon, iTunes, CDBaby, Xbox music, Spotify, eMusic, Bandcamp, Reverbnation, etc., but the best option is to download directly from me via the music page on the official website, http://www.thechalliseffect.com/music . That's where you will find the lowest price possible....the entire 11-song digital version, including the bonus track, is only $2.50 (or, if you only want certain songs, 25 cents apiece for individual song purchases). I'm practically giving the thing away. The reason for this is that I'm not out to make a profit necessarily (though recouping expenses is always nice). The main thing is that I love playing music, and I love writing and performing, and I'd rather get the shit out there, so it doesn't make sense for me to charge ten bucks for a fucking download. (iTunes charges this for the album, but I don't have control over a lot of third party's pricing).
So seriously, if you have literally just a couple of bucks to spare, and want to hear some new and interesting independent music, take a shot at it! You're out less money than your Starbucks cost you this morning, and it lasts far longer
Also, as a side note....took a while to get there, but The Challis Effect took over the top spot on the local Reverbnation charts a few days ago and has stayed there! Next goal is the top 100 nationally by the end of the year, which, at this pace, is extremely doable!!!!
It is 6:30 a.m. and 4 degrees Fahrenheit outside in Laramie, Wyoming on a Sunday morning. I've made it my mission to not leave the house for fucking anything today. So what better to do than sit on VF and rant about shit that you don't care about, and neither should I...and to update you on things in my life that probably 5% of you honestly even want to hear about.
I think I'm the only VF user ever to score three top journals in a week, and subsequently have all three of them deleted, one at a time. I also scored my first ever suspension from the site after the third, carefully rephrased one. Apparently site admins don't take kindly to members calling other members out on their bullshit. I was pretty sure I was doing them a favor, but I have no doubt in my mind that said users whined and complained until the admins had enough.
Let me say something really quickly...I don't [usually] get my kicks from insulting people. I don't just fucking sit here on my computer all day long with the sole intent of tormenting innocent people. When I get negative, it's to a point and a purpose, and I'm at least entertaining about it. The bottom line is, when I talk shit, it's because the person deserves it...and I'm the exact same way IRL. Anything I say on here is for a reason, and it's something I'd say to the person's face in the real world too. You see, I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm comfortable with my life and its purpose, and I'm comfortable with my morals and beliefs...and I also find entertainment in expressing them.
Not gonna lie though, it is funny when retards take the bait. There is nothing more amusing than pushing someone to the point where it's impossible for them to not see the extent of their bullshit or pretentiousness, or the fact that they take themselves far too seriously.
I also have children, and I don't want them growing up in a world where stupidity, ignorance, undereducation, and general apathy is fucking okay and accepted. And as a parent, not only is it my job to educate them, teach them morals, and give them proper social interaction tools, but it is my job to lead by example. I'll never walk through life ignoring idiocy. For one, it's not my style, and for two, I don't want to teach my kids that it's okay to sit back and watch the world, and the people it it, go to complete shit, without at least saying something. That's why the shit I say here is the exact same shit I say IRL.
Also, I've EARNED the right to talk shit. I am a very successful person with very few skeletons in his closet. There are times I wear my emotions and troubles on my sleeve, but I am only human, and I don't shy away from it.
I believe in being a good person. But I also believe part of being a good person is being a complete douchebag to people that blatantly deserve it.
Plus, honestly, it's just fucking entertaining.
------------------------------
On a completely separate note, there is nothing more gratifying than when you create something, and people enjoy it. There is nothing more heartwarming than knowing you reached out to someone, touched them in some small way, made a difference somehow. I started The Challis Effect with the pure intent of doing something different, expressing a different side of myself musically, and trying to reach out to a different group of fans. It has turned into something far beyond that. Now that the album is complete, singles have been released, and people are genuinely "getting" it, it has brought me back to the beginning of why we, as artists, started doing this in the first place. Too many people get caught up in trying to "make it" that they forget the simple joy of creation, and the satisfaction of having people enjoy their work.
I am not the best musician in the world. And in spite of my past musical projects, this one isn't supposed to be awe-inspiring with the technicality of the guitarwork or musicianship. Anyone who has seen me play an instrument knows that my technical capabilities far surpass what I actually utilize in this project. And yes, there are things about this album that will always bug me, things I might have done differently given a larger budget or more tools to work with. It is, after all, a self-released indie album. But I wouldn't change it for the world, and I'm thankful that my fans get it.
I'd eventually like to get back into technical metal type music, but it's interesting that one of my biggest singer/guitarist idols has traveled a very similar path. Mark Tremonti, best known for his work in Creed, is only now becoming known as one of the world's premier guitarists, and he's a damn good singer too. You never would know it from the first four Creed albums. You see, he has the mark of a truly talented songwriter who is also one of the most technically talented guitarists out there: knowing when NOT to play.
This album was rather difficult for me to write at times because I had to hold back and understand that overplaying is just as bad as subpar playing. I've had to completely rethink the way I play and write music. And it has helped me grow as a musician, and to me, that's more important than anything else.
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Once again, later this month, I will be going to Idaho and Montana for the holidays, and will be bringing back my little girl, who has been with her mother for a couple of months. This will be the perfect way to end an interesting, varied, and at times, crazy year. I am definitely looking forward to the next year, though I have no idea what it hold in store for me. In February, my album is released, and next summer I will most likely begin playing a few acoustic shows in support of it. Where things go beyond that is anyone's guess. All I know is that I am truly blessed to be successful in life, to have dedicated fans, so have a solid job and beautiful children, and to have the entertainment of getting under the skin of a few random people on this site.
1) just wow that was long, 2) i can understand teaching the next generations to be a better person, 3) if people desrve it then let them get it, 4) sorry they dont like your comments on human stupidity.
An intelligent, honest take on ICP and their fans....
November 18, 2012, 02:23:am
I posted this in response to an idiotic argument with a bunch of very typical ICP fans in an attempt to reason with them. I am quite sure it will not work, but I am sure that the rest of intelligent, common-sense driven society will appreciate it. So, I'm reposting:
Alright, I am going to be as diplomatic, and friendly about this as possible. It is on you how you choose to respond. My post here is not intended to offend but to illustrate where I am coming from in the hopes that you'll perhaps understand better that I'm not just being negative for negative's sake. These are my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Feel free to discuss and debate them with me, but anything other than intelligent discussion simply proves that you guys are guilty of the very things you accuse us of.
Firstly, I'd like to clarify something for fac3l3ssartist:
Being socially "liberal" is being generally accepting of everyone and their life choices, including lifestyle. Being socially "conservative" is the equivalent to being old-fashioned, stuck in their ways, close-minded, etc. I believe what you were trying to call me, then, is "conservative", not "liberal". You've simply got your terms mixed up. Which is fine; I don't expect everyone to have a degree in political sciences or anything, but don't get mad and insulting when I correct you on a very blatant mistake.
As far as ICP specifically as an artist goes:
I play 6 instruments. I have been playing piano for twenty years, and I am a classically trained guitarist. I am also college educated in audio engineering and music business, and have always opted for advanced literary classes...as well as being homeschooled by my mother, who holds several degrees, one of them being in Literature. So naturally, I am sure you can at least try to see why a band that has extremely little instrumental talent, and lets face it, isn't exactly eloquent or poetic, gets under my skin a little bit? To me, personally, as an engineer, musician, and writer, they are insulting to artistry and musicality. They survive on the pure existence of gimmicks (such as clown makeup, a "hatchet", which is clearly a fucking meat cleaver ffs) and teen angst. With zero musical talent, they say "Woe is us", and then wait for the flocks of kids to come running, saying "us too, us too". The same can be said for dark Lotus, etc.
As far as ICP fans go:
You will notice that I continue to say "the majority". This is directly implying that yes, I know they are not all like that. Many ICP fans are intelligent, educated, accomplished, and down to earth. In fact, guess what? I'm dating one. However, sadly, whether you want to admit it or not, this is not the norm.
The vast majority of ICP fans are undereducated, underprivileged, young folks. Not really their fault, no...at least most of the time.
What is their fault is the the going-out-of-thier-way to be invasive, obnoxious, and stupid.
What is their fault is going out in public with clown makeup and somehow not expecting to receive negative or confused reactions.
What is their fault is that they then go cry about it, or act like the world is just a bunch of asshole...when really, they're the ones who went overboard.
What is their fault is the fact that they try to tell us that ICP, musically and artistically, is the best thing since sliced bread...directly insulting musicians and writers who have spent years, blood, sweat, and tears perfecting real instruments and eloquent writing.
And what is their fault, is the utter hypocrisy. They, in all their ranting about close minded people and judgmental people, are becoming just as guilty of the deed.
What's worse are the fans that are in denial about their judgement of others, or the judgment and hatred present in much of the music on Psychopathic Records). Pot....kettle.
But the thing that bugs me most of all, is the trying to make up for the undereducation with pretentiousness. Using big words incorrectly, speaking in a manner that not even smart people speak in, and, on the internet, doing so without the slightest use of proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation, or spelling. Kinda defeats the purpose of trying to look smart, no? This journal has been a perfect example of that.
I would also like to point out the fact that many of these fans are underprivileged by choice. It's one thing to believe in freedom, but it's an entirely MATURE thing to realize that sometimes, you have to make sacrifices, you have to have diplomacy, and you have to have patience. For example, I did my time. I worked my ass off, I went to school, I did what I had to.....guess what? I now have an extremely high paying job that I can dress obnoxiously in, have all my piercings, colored hair, etc. Learning how to negotiate life in order to get to a better spot is not the same as being "conformist". It's simply being mature and picking your battles....something many of these fans have yet to learn.
Again, obviously not all fans are like this...but I have known many, many ICP fans, in reality and the internet, and 95% of them give me no reason to trust in the human race...oddly enough, it's the same thing they accuse people like me of.
That is my (literally, in part) professional opinion.
Good day.
---Matthew
Mood: Thoughtful Music: Rise Against - Siren Songs of the Counter Culture
so how do you feel about twiztid? i know alot of juggalo music can be.. idk, inmature or stupid at times. but you kinda have to have a feel for it. just like death metal ( not that screamo bullshit) anyways, twiztid has some songs that really do have meaning to them, not just pointless murder or w.e. i understand were you are coming from. And im sure that w.e. you were talking to were... well nevermind.
As a fan of ICP and as a Juggalette. I do NOT take offence to this. For that what AXl has said is surprisingly true. As for us labeling ourselves this ( not all of us) are putting ourselves out there saying we drink faygo, smoke some weed, and like to rap and chill out with our buds. As well as that I have personally done some really stupid shit in my past and to see and hear a band that understands that it helps. The pshycopatic record company is in many was upright trash to other outstanding leading artists and musicians. However the flip to the coin is this: although it is yes horrorcore rap, they to have helped many through problems and inspire many to try to over come the supidity that is in their lives. On top of it I am not putting anyone down I am just saying my oppion on the matter.Sorry Axl if I upsetted you with this along with anyone else that is offended to my comment.
Okay, so, this was randomly posted on one of my journals today, out of the blue (a journal older than dirt). I got the email notification, but went to check it on VF and it was magically gone, and the user (whom many of you will recognize as a longtime member) "no longer exists". Literally, two minutes later. Regardless, I saved the email, because I found it to be entertaining.
For those of you who can't read it, it says:
"Personally Axl, I think you are a miserable piece of shit with no life. I thought you were a pretty good guy until I added you on Facebook. I mentioned comics on one of my status updates, next thing I know, your bitching like a 2 year old. "I hate comics, next person who updates their status mentioning comics, I will take you off my updates" To follow it up, you labeled me and some other person on your friends list as an "annoying problem" You say your speaking the truth here and not "trolling", what your doing is bitching on how miserable your life is and taking it out on people. Don't say your not, I'm a hell of a lot smarter than what you think, I've seen this shit before on Facebook and Myspace. I joined the cult Friends a few months ago and what's the first post I see? "You, bitching on how bored you are. When the cult leader got on you for going against the rules, you response? "I'm offended I deleted myself from the cult ! after reading your cry fest. Your journal entries on here are funny because they are pathetic. It shows how unhappy your are with your life, it shows how judgemental you are, people live their lives all in different ways, you don't like what people post on their profiles? DEAL WITH IT!!! Frankly, I don't give a shit what your response is. To me, someone like you is an annoying problem." - Ashford666
Now, normally I don't take the time to respond to hate mail from random people, but I was so amused (and also astounded by this dude's continued idiocy), but I've decided to make an example out of him.
Firstly, I'd like to point out that it's been months since I've spoken to this dude or seen anything having to do with him. This was quite random, as if he finally snapped...presumably due to someone else "offending" him in much the same way. Apparently he needed a target. Regardless.....
I want to note that this is literally the first time I have ever been accused of being a "miserable piece of shit". Not really sure where that came from.
Also, kid, not really sure where you got the "no life" this from, but let me appropriately inform you of something: I run a full-time and successful business, I have three children, I'm about to drop an album, etc. Plenty of hobbies, a great family, tons of friends and fans, active involvement in my community and politics, etc. I'd call that a pretty good life. Do you actually have some sort of an internal jealousy complex? I know I would if I was a little brat like you whose life revolves around comics and masturbation. Which leads me to my next point....
EVERY FUCKING DAY, this kid would post multiple statuses about one of two things....sex or comics. I said nothing for weeks, until I finally got irritated enough to say, yea, you post about a comic book, video game, or the fact that you just had sex one more time, you're going to be removed from my news feed so I don't have to see it. GUESS WHAT, YOU LITTLE TWAT, THAT'S MY PREROGATIVE. I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT WITH MY NEWS FEED, AND I CAN TELL YOU AS MUCH AS I WANT ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU FUCKING IRRITATE ME and what a sad excuse of a life you have (lulz, irony?) You're really going to get that pissed off over someone making one comment and then removing you from THEIR news feed? GTFO.
"You say your speaking the truth here and not "trolling", what your doing is bitching on how miserable your life is and taking it out on people."
I wasn't aware I wasn't allowed to point out stupidity, or make fun of people. Since when does that mean I'm "miserable" with my own life?
You're looking for someone to vent at because you realize that you're guilty of half the shit that I rant about. OH MAH GAWD, THAT MUST MEAN I'M THE ENEMY. Lulz. Grow up.
Hey guys, remember, every time you point out stupidity or rant about something, that just means you're "miserable". K?
I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty happy. Lol.
""You, bitching on how bored you are. When the cult leader got on you for going against the rules, you response? "I'm offended"
This is yet another issue with this kid. He has no sense of interpretation. No sense of humor, no ability to read sarcasm. Any longtime "Friends" cult member, especially those involved in that particular thread, knew that there was no argument, no ill-will, friendly banter, etc. Like, I don't even know what the fuck this kid's issue is. Apparently this cause him to leave the cult, right after joining? How the fuck is that my fault? Lol. I am honestly taken aback by the utter defensiveness of this kid.
"Your journal entries on here are funny because they are pathetic. It shows how unhappy your are with your life..."
Here we go again. If I say anything negative about anything or anybody else, it means I'm unhappy with my OWN life.....uh, what? If I make fun of something, it means I'm miserable.... WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING, KID?
"it shows how judgemental you are"
Forgive me for not liking stupid people, or pointing out when people say/do stupid things. Forgive me for being negative about anything ever. Forgive me for having an opinion, and forgive me for making examples out of idiocy. Wait, no, please don't, because I don't need your fucking approval to judge anything.
We are all judgmental in some way. YOU'RE BEING FUCKING JUDGMENTAL RIGHT NOW. Guess what else that makes you? A hypocrite. Don't you feel special.
Let me point something out....I don't go out on a limb. I don't get controversial, and I'm really not prejudiced. Pretty much everyone knows that. So go take your fucking rants about judgement somewhere else, where they belong. Go take your aggression out on the racists, the bigots, the sexists, the people who attack others for NO REASON, etc. Who's really the piece of shit here? Attempting to publicly target a perfectly good, upstanding citizen's character for ranting about dumb shit THAT NEARLY EVERYONE AGREES WITH? Slander is unappreciated, dude. Who's the piece of shit here?
"you don't like what people post on their profiles? DEAL WITH IT!!!"
I do. By pointing out their stupidity where necessary, and blocking it from my news feed. Oh, I forgot, I'm a "miserable piece of shit" for blocking you from my news feed. I'm supposed to "deal with it" YOUR way, by reading garbage I don't want to every day. Because your way is obviously the right way.
HOW DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE?
"Frankly, I don't give a shit what your response is."
Right, that's why you deleted yourself to make damn sure I couldn't publicly respond to your outrageous personal attacks. You knew I'd light you up, so you disappeared like a little fucking coward.
"To me, someone like you is an annoying problem.""
*shrug* There's legions of people who would beg to differ. I employ people, I give people hope, I'm involved in my community, and I'm dedicated to my children. I'm sorry you don't like the fact that occasionally, I'm negative, and entertaining about it to boot.
This kid has always been a little bit "off", and I've always wondered about it... and so I never really directly attacked him until the Facebook incident. Because if he has a legitimate mental condition, it's not really his fault. But this shit is fucking stupid.
Like I said, normally I wouldn't take the time to do this, but I have a real problem with publicly being labelled a "miserable piece of shit" when I've done more, accomplished more, and been more involved in life, family, charity, business, etc. than the vast majority of the human population. And will continue to do so.
Slander is what a real "miserable piece of shit" does, you fucking twit. I hope you keep yourself deleted, James, a.k.a. Ashford666. I don't need your lies and bullshit any more than the next person.
If anyone else still talks to him, please send my condolences to him for him being born a FUCKING JACKASS.
Mood: Irritated Music: All That Remains - A War You Cannot Win
Sorry. Know that pissed Axl isn't a fun Axl. However I find all of this personally funny for I just had to go through something similar. You are far from a "miserable piece of shit with no life." You have created music that is so wondeful and awsome that has helped many. I know that from personlly experience. I have to keep playing song after song to put my 8yr old sister to sleep and help me relax some. So then I don't end up tear heads off stupid jackasses like the person who sent that to you.
I didn't realize to have a good sense of humor meant we're sad and have no lives. It's a well practiced talent, making jokes without using terms like "fuck you" and "you're an ugly piece of shit". I myself, and I know Matt are just able to balance our lives so that we have time to do the things we please. We're not high school students that spend the hours of 3-midnight online. I personally work in an office, with a computer directly in front of me. I can pop on and off whenever I like. Thus giving me plenty of time for my quirky remarks. Besides, we take stabs at ANYONE that says ANYTHING stupid, even each other. We don't come along to bail each other out of messes we get ourselves in like little runts on here do. Sure I occasional put my two cents into a thread that blood has already been drawn on, but hey, that person definitely needs an adjustment. We can't go along sugar coating things for people. That just isn't how life works. We're people from before the social networking boom. We know what It's like to go outside and interact with people. The internet is going to create tons of recluse hermits because everyone will be too scared to do anything in real life. So forgive us if we're not sympathetic of your depression, we've been there, we get it. We've been on this site for years and we see 10 posts an hour about it. What color should you die your hair? WHICHEVER FUCKING COLOR YOU WANT. Who gives a fuck if chivalry is dead, the death of free thinking is what we should be worried about. If the pen is the mightier than the sword, then my tongue is both and I translate that with a keyboard, but I'm a faceless entity from the other side of an Ethernet cable, so what are you getting all pissed about?
wow that is.........just wow lol im sorry some people just dont have anything better to do but bitch about nothing. and even if u were rant n raveing around doesnt mean the other person has to read it. some ppl lol
What's inside my head: Depression, baggage, the past, and moving on..
October 08, 2012, 10:21:pm
This is going to be a little long, but for those of you who know me, and those of you who wish to get to know me, I promise you it's worth it.
I've been known for being a relatively negative person on social networks, especially as of late. Most people gather from my internet presence that I'm an extremely negative person, either from a) a very unhappy existence, or b) from the fact that I must be a complete and total asshole.
While a little bit of both may be true, the truth is that it's easy to turn to a status update to vent when things aren't going right, when things are frustrating, when you're pissed off, or when you don't feel you can talk to anyone. It's a great, simple, and uncomplicated way to spew your inner thoughts and feelings. It also provides a great way to alleviate thoughts without having to be specific, without having to initiate real-life conflict, and without having to address or approach things that you don't really know how to approach in the situation at hand in reality. In addition, it has always been easier for me to express myself in writing, and it has always been more therapeutic.
Obviously, it's always presented its down sides. Vagueness leads to constant misinterpretation, especially amongst people who don't know you very well. It's also a great way to make 873648273 people think you are talking about them, and there's also no way to directly address the person or things something is actually about...because that defeats the purpose of vagueness and generality. In addition, the more you lean on social networking to vent, the more it appears to the general public that you are either a) a complete asshole who nobody would want to be around, or b) a completely, hopelessly, destructively depressive person that no one wants to be around. You end up building a public persona of yourself that you didn't really intend to.
It also presents the "boy who cried wolf" syndrome....when something actually is wrong, no one can tell. When something actually needs addressed, it's passed off as another general rant.
I've been through quite a bit. Many of us have. My life has never been simple, and it's never been easy. This became especially evident to people around 2008/2009, when I became very active on social networks...and that was around the time that my life, once again, began to fall apart. Only this time, the whole world knew about it. And continued to hear about it. And ever since then, I've used social networks as a springboard for everything gone wrong, everything annoying, everything stressful, everything rantworthy.....and everything personal.
I have internal struggles to this day. I still deal with bouts of terrible depression. I still struggle with a lot of things in my life. I still have not dealt with my past, with my family, with unresolved issues and undisclosed personal problems. Anyone who knows my history with my mother, with my father and his family, with Amanda, etc., knows that. They are internal battles I face every day. There are demons I face inside myself every day. There are still unresolved questions, questions of character and who I really am or want to be, what I really stand for, etc....every single day.
However, I began to realize not too long ago, that in the midst of a growing musical career, a successful job, and a growing leadership role in life in general, that I wasn't really putting across, character-wise, what I needed to. People respect me, people look up to me...and people are disappointed when the public persona is nothing but outward negativity, directly reflecting of those internal battles. I looked around at the profiles, personas, and agendas of the successful people in my industries; my colleagues, my peers, and my mentors, and realized that part of their success is based on the fact that they don't wear their battles and their negativity on their sleeves, at least not publicly. Those who do, never get off the ground, or end up sabotaging their own careers....or they build a career around that negativity, and become something they don't really want to be, or want to be known for.
Honestly, though, that knowledge, and that self-destructiveness, initially only served to fuel my depression, my frustration with myself and with everything around me. This has also been in addition to the regular, normal stresses of life that I deal with every day...employees, roommates, etc. There have also been recent events, in the family and such, that have even further complicated things...pouring gasoline on an already blazing fire of anger, humility, and frustration.
I have always prided myself in making the best decision I possibly can. I am adamant about standing up for what I believe in, about being the best person you can be, and being aggressive about living a normal, righteous life. But I've begun to realize that that, in and of itself, is not enough. Especially not if you have careers in visible and public fields, whether it's business management, music, or anything else. You have to refrain from firing off at every little thing. You have to at least attempt to not put across that you are a completely depressive individual or a raging asshole. You have to be able to put on a happy face....both in public, and on the internet.
That is not to say that I don't make mistakes. It also doesn't mean that I can't be a complete dick about standing up for what is right, or pointing out when something else isn't. And it surely doesn't mean that I'm no longer struggling with those things in my personal life, and within myself. I do, I can, and I still am. It is part of who I am. It's part of what I've been through, and what I'm still going through. But ever-increasingly, there is a time and place.
Part of resolving the demons inside my own head, I believe, is outwardly continuing to create the kind of character that internally I know I need and want to put across...but that internal conflict will always come across in my music, in my lyrics, in my art. And it will always be painted on my face; the clouds of struggle can't be hidden in someone's eyes. But sometimes, people have to learn to wear masks, tattoo their heart on their sleeve, and leave it there, without actively expressing it.
I'm very vocal about my emotions, and my frustrations with my struggles will always be evident, to a certain extent. And I will always wear my heart on my sleeve. And I will always use that to help others. But I also realize that public success isn't going to come from a persona of negativity. I would rather slowly destroy myself internally than bring others down with me. Imprisoning others with my negativity, and disappointing the large amounts of people who look up to me, admire me, depend on me, is not what I want to do. This is my own prison, and I have to face that battle myself. But that is a story of another, different struggle I face, for another time....
I would like to take this opportunity to do something that I do best....be a hateful, condescending asshole who makes fun of everything and everyone. Because I'm in a shitty mood, and apparently the shit I say when I'm in a shitty mood is absolutely fucking hilarious to people. So, let's begin.
First, I would like to make it painfully obvious that “YOLO”, “totes”, “come at me”, “umad?”, and various other assorted bullshit preteen slang is not cool. It's not funny. It makes you sound like a retard eating fucking hot wings in a trailer park at four in the morning while I'm taking a shit in my fish tank. You're fucking stupid. Furthermore, “y.o.l.o.”, while incredibly fucking retarded in the first place, is also becoming the most misused phrase in existence, and on top of that, is the biggest fucking copout on the fucking planet. Quit using it as a fucking excuse to do whatever you want, be the biggest shitbag or retard you can be, or treat people however you want to treat them. Yes, you only live once. No, that's not a fucking excuse to be a complete dipshit. Grow the fuck up and quit making excuses for your pathetic excuse of a life, you naïve twit.
Next, simply because someone over 18 talks to someone under 18 does not make them a pedo, you stupid fucking children. Last time I checked, 'pedo' is short for 'pedophile'. I don't know what they teach you in your 6th grade class these days, but a fucking pedophile is someone who goes out of their way to try to have sex with little girls, has an unhealthy sexual obsession with preteen (and younger) children, etc. Just because someone over 18 comments on your fucking journal, or talks to someone on here who is under 18, does not make them a fucking pedophile. Quit throwing the fucking word around like it's fucking gift wrap on Christmas day. You can potentially ruin someone's life, career, reputation, etc. with accusations like that, and it's complete bullshit.
On a personal note, yea, I'm 27. Yea, I talk to a few 16, 17, 18 year olds. I know a few guys and girls who do the same......Do I try to have sex with them? Fuck no. Does anybody I know go out of their way to obsess over jailbait? Fuck no. Learn the fucking difference, you retarded dimwit. So fucking what if some people a few years apart have some similar taste in music or whatever and can intelligently discuss some shit with one another. Isn't that what a site like this is for?
And for you fucking idiots that waste your time chasing us around like chickens with your heads cut off, why don't you go after people that are actually fucking sick in the head....fucking 35 year olds that desperately feel the need to try to get 14 year old pussy? Do some good in the world instead of acting like an autistic squirrel.
Oh, by the way, if you idiots wouldn't post your fucking phone number on a site like fucking vampirefreaks.com, maybe you wouldn't have an issue with creepers/stalkers/etc. Use your fucking head and be smart. As much as some of you on here annoy me, I don't want anybody on here to end up in a bodybag because of their stupidity. Stupid should be painful, but good god, it doesn't need to result in something worse.
If I hear one more butthurt, insecure, bullshit complaint about the VF models, I am going to eat a fucking baby. So fucking what; these people have some decent pictures, are comfortable with their bodies and styles, and they got some recognition for it based on certain criteria.....why do you have to have a stick up your ass about it? Wah fucking wah, somebody else is getting attention that you personally don't think they deserve. Go be asshurt somewhere else please. Your negativity doesn't fucking accomplish anything besides create drama on the site. Get a grip.
VF tip #6984651465: Don't be an idiot, you won't get “trolled”. Don't post stupid pictures, you won't get ridiculed. Don't say dumb shit, and you won't get made fun of. Don't post anything you aren't fully prepared to get people's brutal fucking honesty on...and if you can't handle the truth, please feel free to delete your account and move the fuck on. Quit. Being. A. Little. Whiny. Bitch.
Also, I know for at least some of us personally (myself, Cody, Zewe, and others)....while we may be “trolling” you, we're also speaking the fucking truth. We're trying to point something out. So instead of getting even more asshurt and ignoring it, try taking a hard look at the fact that you probably did/said/posted something worth trolling. I don't personally troll for the sake of making people mad. I troll for the sake of pointing out the fact that you, my friend, said or did something that was dumber than a box of flying pig shit. So remove your head from your anal orifice and wake the fuck up.
You may have noticed I've typed the word “retard”, “retarded”, or “autistic” a few times. No, I don't have anything against handicapped people. Not, it's not racist. And no, I don't give a fuck about your politically correct sensibilities right now, because if something's fucking stupid, it's fucking stupid. Simple as that.
“Oh, my brother's autistic, that's not nice. You're a mean, insensitive person”
I don't know your fucking brother. Nor do I really give a flying fuck. I'm sorry about your luck? I mean, what the fuck do you want me to say? If you're being stupid, I'm not going to refrain from telling you so simply because it could be interpreted in a way that makes it vaguely sound like I'm being prejudiced against someone with a legitimate disorder. Strawman much? Quit trying to divert the attention away from the fact that you indeed are acting like a retard. I am allowed to use an adjective (or a noun as an adjective) if it is the truth. So hey, don't be a retard.
Oh hey, by the way, if I downpropped your journal, it's probably because......well.....it was retarded.
Okay, I get it. You're pregnant. Your belly gets bigger. NO I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING SEE IT, AND NIETHER DOES ANYONE ELSE. So please, do us the kindness of not posting anymore pictures of your fucking belly. Fuck.
Also, it has come to my attention that a bunch of butthurt assfucks have been downrating a bunch of racy photos that someone very close to me has posted on her profile..........
Well, I will tell you from personal experience that she's better in bed than all of you insecure bitches put together (most likely anyway. I haven't fucked you all, so I wouldn't know for sure. But still). So just accept it and move on Don't be jealous that she's hot and a good lay....or be mad that she won't sleep with you. Seriously, why get all tore up about it? Leave her the fuck alone, ffs. Get a life. Or something.
So, you're stoned or drunk. Why should I give a fuck? Why should anybody give a fuck? “Hurr hurr, I'm so stoned...I'm going to make a journal about it”. You're not cool, nobody cares, go crawl back into your hole. plzkthx
“Matthew, why are you being such a hateful individual”
Because when you're me, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Say whatever the fuck you want. Do whoever the fuck you want. Etc.
BECAUSE I AM THAT FUCKING AWESOME.
Until next time,
Love you all <3
Mood: Apathetic Music: Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome
So, throughout the day on VF, I reassumed my role as the go-to person for pointing out stupidity, retardedness, immaturity, nonsense, etc. I also revamnped my sense of humor and sarcasm. Apparently in the process, I have compiled quite the resume. Apparently, I am the following:
---Irresponsible parent
---Racist
---Bitchy hater
---pedophile
---troll (how original)
---creeper
...and various other piddly common adjectives that have borne no relevance to anything in the moment. Also, apparently I'm "jealous" of everyone on here.....well, mostly "hawt" 15 year old boys and girls.
Seriously. I play 5 instruments, have a great job, a college education, another great career, loyal fans, decent financial state, beautiful children, etc....but I'm, what was it? Oh. "Just jelly"
fac3l3ssartist
Seriously, why get all tore up about it? Leave her the fuck alone, ffs. Get a life. Or something.
