I was sat typing away, replying to someone, drinking diet coke and being content....Spotted movement infront of me....about meeeeeh 3-5inches away from me....Just about shot through the ceiling...it was only a GIANT SPIDER ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY HAND SITTING THERE! It was staring at me...mving those creepy legs and sorta WAVING at me! and then it started to creep closer to me, by this time i was scrambling over the back of the sofa and i lost sight of it, thought it must of gone away so i climbed back on the sofa...i turn around and BOOM! THE LITTLE FUCKER IS SITTING ON MY FOOT!
Its nearly 1am and i am trying not to scream because my parents will not appreciate THAT wake up call....It crawled up my leg and i swear....it was just WATCHING ME! Plotting how to eat me, which limb to dissolve first and then the little sod buggers off and hides under the coffee table, watching me...I CAN FUCKING SEE YOU STARING AT ME!
FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER HERE!
The spider is gonna kill me and eat my insides and....
ITS MOVING AGAIN!
*runs away screaming* THIS IS THE MOST TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER!
This is a brand new cult, we are in desperate need for active staff and members. We would also love it if some designers joined so we can make the place all pretty!
There are going to be games, contests, discussions and all sorts of AWESOME stuff!
JOIN! It will be fabulous fun!
Tis my cult and you should join because its awesome
Just fucking join it and pretty please be active!
Trying to uploads pics from my mobile and its saying they swnt but they arent showing up....there is a possibility I just sent like....50 of the same pics into my vf
Or to some random sod, I dunno....
Excuse me while I smash my phone against a rock
For some obscure reason i randomly hold my breath but i don't even realise i am doing it until mum turned around, looked at me and said 'You are turning blue...you should probably breathe now'....Ok....I nearly passed out a second ago because in all seriousness i don't realise i am holding my breath until i get light headed
Its weird....Apparently annoying because it means i am making weird chuffing noises all the time
On another note, i had another massive breakdown yesterday and i am starting to really scare my parents because the tiniest things are scaring me, I am getting insanely paranoid about the smallest of things and i am so depressed its no longer reasonable :/
The self hatred issue is even worse now than it has been before and its getting quite scarey, i am scared i might do something to hurt myself and in turn hurt my family Fuck sake! Why can't i just be happy with who i am...oh...i know...because i am useless and no one in their right mind woul want to be like me.
uhfjahlfgj;aehfgjadhghdjg someone make me happy...please, i just need someone who i can rely on and trust...but then again...i dont think there are many people like that left in the world so why bother...
Back to my forever alone type of attitude....
Mood: depressed and confused Music: Skylar Grey- Dance Without You
Well, there are few people for that. Though you will never know if you don't let people speak with you. The way I handle it is, you can speak with whoever you'd like, develop a relationship with them and not trust them at all. If you two become extremely comfortable with eachother, you'll open up with eachother without thinking of it. If not, well, at least they're great conversation. Expect nothing in return and it makes it easier for you to potentially meet trustworthy people.
Well I feel really awful :/
We are watching DVDs, it was my turn to pick so i put on Nemo and my little brother flipped out and grabbed the special remote (its like the Off Off remote, it fully turns things off rather than putting them on standby) and i got slightly pissed off because he then tried to turn it off so i had to wrestle it off of him and then when i got it off of him he sat yelling at me and screaming at me and i snapped....
I started shouting at him when he was shouting at me and he was being really annoying, nasty and loud and i snapped.
I feel really bad...
I started telling him how he was the reason i was depressed, why i hated myself, he was the reason i didnt spend time with the family during the day, why i cried every night, telling him his attitude stinks and that he was the reason i am upset...Well...some of its true but i said it to hurt and be mean because he was upsetting me....well i ended up saying other things because i was upset and some of it (well most of it) was the truth but i really just said it to hurt him. I could see his eyes watering and was crying as well because i was upset and i was just trying to upset him for upsetting me but i was so harsh to him and i could see he was getting really upset because i really was being horrible to him and things.
I feel really bad because Calvin is a victim to bullying, i basically bullied my little brother and i could see he was on the brink of tears and i feel really really REALLY bad...as in...hiding in my room, practically crying because of my attitude
I was doing my makeup (it looks like batman wings) and i have been crying for so long i have black streaks down my face but i am too scared to go downstairs and say sorry to him, I was really nasty and i feel really terrible.
I hate myself enough as it is and now i am disgusted in myself, he is 10years old, autistic and being severely bullied at school...
I actually want to repeatedly smash my head off the wall and rip my throat open....
I feel really terrible, I hate myself and i just want to really hurt myself for hurting him
I am such a horrible sister
That akward moment when your little brother holds a coat hanger between his bottom and spins it around before shouting "I AM A BOAT! LOOK ITS MY PROPELLER...."
Oh my gods....that is so wrong on SO many levels! *shudders*
that happened last night and i was laughing so hard i cried My little brother is fucking WEIRD!
I have just watched 4 different Peter Pan films....Is that sad? I am 17 and i ended up actually BEGGING my little brother to put Tarzan on (he refused and hit me multiple times with a stuffed blue elephant called peanut) and then i am sitting watching Hotel Transylvania and giggling like a maniac
I am such a pathetic teenager...
LETS JUST GO TO NEVERLAND AND NEVER GROW UP!!!!
Why do i only ever see my flaws?
People say nice things about me sometimes but i always think they are lying and i dont believe them....I see other girls who are so happy with themselves but then with me....i am self hating, negative, depressed, constantly worried about people judging me, over thinking how people look at me and i am just such a negative person...
Why can't i be like other people who actually like themselves....
I dont know a single girl that will admit to themselves as beautiful or smart or anything they always deny it when its so clearly there. Marnie your a gorgeous and intillgent girl. cx id fall far in a heartbeat if i actually lived close to you c:
I was doing so well....i was finally happy...and now you are back...great, why can't i just be happy for more than a few weeks! it was because of you that i got stuck in an 8month long solid depression,i wasnt able to smile for 8 FUCKING MONTHS! I can't trust people anymore, i haven't opened up to anyone because of you, even my parents dont know whats the matter when i slip into a depression.
Guess what....its all your fault!
And you come back here telling me you are sorry and you missed being my friend....fuck you!
Its YOUR fault mum nearly got me put in a mental institute because i wouldnt eat, drink or sleep, its YOUR fault i got stuck in an 8 month depression!
And you think i will accept your shitty apology? eh...hell no!
Why the fuck should i? I TRUSTED you! I poured out my heart to you and i was really starting to get attatched to you and then you turned out to be some fake who was toying with peoples emotions....especially mine!
Why the hell would i forgive you?
Off work, ill, feel like utter shit...
Someone come and look after me... please, cats dont make good nurses, they just prescribe lots of cuddles which isnt helping because it means she is sitting on my tummy which hurts a lot >.<
Dont let me cook....like ever...
I just attempting to make an Omellette(?) for dinner and it failed in such a spectacular fashion my dad was in tears laughing and for once i dont blame him...
I poured in salt with the eggs only...the lid fell off and a heap of salt poured in...it didnt seem too bad so i continued and poured the stuff in the frying pan and didnt pour the smoked sausage and peppers in soon enough and it ended up becoming scrambled eggs mixed with smoked sausage and red peppers....anywho i poured it onto a plate and went to eat it...well if you have ever seen Ice Age 4 when sid drinks the sea water...
thats roughly what happened to me....There was a LOT more salt than i realised....i still ate it
But seriously....I think i just killed myself ....and now i want to go and watch ice age!
Alright i am done....maybe one more gif
....great...now i want to go and watch the little mermaid again!