Found a use for the decaffeinated coffee sachets I took from the hotel.
Drinking coffee while making sure I make myself so exhausted that I sleep for most of tomorrow.
This is not me attempting to cheat anyone out of any money, it simply me asking for help in order to make my dream of moving to the Netherlands a reality.
I'll answer questions if you have them and no one will go unnoticed.
I expect this will be dismissed but I'll never know until I try!
I'm proud to announce that Decomposing Entity with song Destroying Nucleus Agenda will be on Terrorizer compilation CD
here you can see the article about us
and the best thing that they wrote was: ''intense machine-gun drumming and inhuman vocals''
link of article:
So, after years together...this is how it turns out?
I was the first man you'd ever kissed. I was the one to take your virginity. I was the one who wanted to be with you despite everyone around us taking the piss out of our relationship, and disliking you. I was the one who wanted to be with you when you were overweight at the beginning, not even noticing. I was the one who stayed with you after you miscarried two of our children just because you forgot to take your pill. I am the one who loved you more than anything, and still do. And now I wish I had never met you.
Throughout those two years, you would always tell me that I was the only one you'd ever be with. I was the only man you even found attractive or wanted to be with, though I always told you that couldn't have been possible. You've proven me right.
So when I'm honest with you and tell you that I'm not sure how I'm feeling about you, it apparently gives you the right to go out and find someone else on our 2nd anniversary? A randomer, who you just put your trust in to let him kiss you and take you back to his? You said that he tried to touch your arse despite you (apparently) saying no. You still trusted that nothing would happen.
A few hours later you make your way back to mine. You tell me that you've been raped. I'm ready to go out and kill whoever had laid a finger on you. I could have stomped his face into the curb until there wasn't even a head left for what he did to you. All I want is revenge for taking away the purity of our relationship. I want to protect you.
You "don't remember" where you were or who he was. You shower off any forensic evidence. You wait 3 days to tell your father, who calls the police. You don't give them enough information for them to help. You "only remember" that his name is Luke and he has a red car. Police can't do a thing.
Nobody around me believes your story; not my flatmates and not my family. They say that you had sex with someone, and when you realised what a fool you'd been you just claimed it was rape. I struggle to believe you. I just want to hurt you for hurting me. I break up with you and start seeing someone else. I never had sex with her, but I make the scratches on my back obvious to you. You call me to tell me of "attempt" to kill yourself by walking into the sea to catch "hypothermia". By the time I've found you and called the ambulance, your temperature was still quite high. You say that you'll never be happy again.
Over the days you speak to me online, I let you know that there isn't anything between me and the other girl. You totally stop being depressed, despite distancing me even further. When we do talk, all you speak about is one of my longest standing friends...a friend who only recently text me to say that he's been one of my true friends where others have failed. I know something's going on...even the first time he met you, he commented on the size of your tits. I go round to see you. When you ask how I could have moved on to someone else so early, I tell you that I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me. You still only talk about him. I get angry and ask what's going on..."nothing", apparently. Then you say that you're going to be honest, and that you're seeing him. I walk out and drive home angrily, without you really trying to stop me.
The next day, my "friend" changes his facebook photo to the two of you together, both looking happy and intimate.
I could literally watch you both being tortured to death, and do nothing to stop it. I wish that we never met, or that you would die. There is no way that just one month on from you being "raped" and trying to commit suicide that you would move on, happily, with someone else. You said that you'd never even be able to trust any man who isn't me again.
And how could he, knowing what had happened, tell me that he's a true friend and behind my back be with you? Where the fuck has happened to honour and loyalty?
The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are.
The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while.
Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?"
Other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride!"
And we … kill those people.
"Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real."
It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that?
And let the demons run amok.
But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want.
It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money.
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love.
The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, and close yourself off.
The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
Bill Hicks: Revelations (1993)
R.I.P.
Mood: Relaxed Music: Bob Dylan's "Goin' to Acapulco"
... that's kinda funny though
hahahaha!!!
