- The bank is retarded.
- My previous plans have been changed completely.
- 3 out of 7 packages have been lost in the mail, so I won't ever get them.
I hate having to deal with people. I suddenly remember why I became so damn anti-social.
So I've basically just been sitting at school all day, feeling like shit.
All I do at school is sit at the computer and play around in photoshop or go around doing photography.
So today I decided to be closed off in my own little bubble and draw random shit.
I randomly drew an owl. I thought it was pretty cute, so I tried doing different colored ones.
I ended up making a little color-changing GIF of it. It made me happy.
So here it is, for anyone interested.
Also, the white edges around the owls are driving me insane, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to fix it.
This is bullshit... Fuck it.
No, I'm not making a Lannister lion next. The whole point of me sitting in my own little bubble, is the fact that I can do whatever the fuck I feel like doing and nothing else.But thank you to all the people that like my owl.
Please help me vote for Mocha! I really need the giftcard.
Just like the page below, type "Mocha horsens_251" in the comment section with your email in the section below and send it in. It would help me bunches!!
My Mother is seriously upsetting me. For as long as I can remember she never showed affection let alone any sort of support or care. Sure she has given me a roof over my head, food, clothes but that is about it.
She has told me and my sisters when we were young she hated coming home to us. I don't remember ever saying she loved me, and I can't remember the last time she even hugged me.
When I was 19 I slit my wrists, sad story over a boy, but anyways a good friend of mine noticed I was different earlier that day and she called the cops when I stopped responding to her texts. Anyways I got sent to the hospital to get fixed up. for almost an hour I refused to see my parents. eventually I gave in and let the nurse invite them. My dad ran to my side, hugged me and asked me never to do that again. My mother on the other hand... sat in the corner, and said "Are you finished here? I am tired and I want to go home." seriously... how says that to their child...
She brags to me and my sisters how she used to be 100lbs and only eat one meal a day, even though she is about 300lbs. Telling young girls those kinda things is horrible...
She is very selfish. One of my sisters has a jaw issue. her jaw pops out when she chews. sometimes she is in so much pain she cries. She has been needing surgery to fix it for almost 8 years but my mom always put it off saying it cost to much and it wouldn't work anyways. (my sister needs to get her jaw broken and wired shut so it will heal in the right place)
But my mother recently got surgery on her mouth -.- Her teeth have been rotting out of her head for years because of poor oral care, smoking and not goin to the dentist. My mom paid good money, to have her teeth pulled out and replaced with fake ones. My sister is upset that my mom refuses to fix her mouth but will go fix her own. I can completely understand. My sister is only under their medicare till August and the job she has doesn't offer medical.
I know this is a big rant. really wish I had a good relationship with my mother but she has made it impossible. She verbally abuses me and my sisters all the time. I stand up for myself but she is such a hateful spiteful woman she goes for the lowblows that she knows hurts you the most, even if they are not relative to what is goin on. I hope one day she realizes how much she has hurt us because karma is coming her way.
I ask myself that question everyday. Truthfully I think she had kids to tie my father down. She is even cruel to him. I'm sure when she is old and alone she will know what it is like not to feel loved. And hopefully my sister gets her jaw fixed. My sister actually booked an appointment with a specialist to see what her options are and paid for it herself to see him.
For those of you interested in (mainly) makeup, please take some time to follow me on Tumblr,
and possibly also reblog some of my things, so I can get some recognition for my work!
It would really mean a lot to me :3
From now on, I will start working on what I want to do with my life.
What I want to be and what I want to learn!
I'm going to finish my last year of college and then go to beauty school - starting with hair and then move on to makeup.
I'm going to start doing yoga again, and eventually teach myself ballet.
There are so many other things I want to do, and those will come eventually.
But for now I'm starting with these, and it's going to be amazing!
Yes! It makes you feel so much better afterwards, even if it may be difficult at the time... Like an hour of yoga after not doing it for 3-4 years >_> I'm really happy after I made that decision. I know what I want in life, and I know I'm gonna get it now! And I'm gonna learn things I've always wanted to, but never been able to :3
It sucks when you spend two hours doing your younger sister's makeup(Patrica we will call her), you gave them what they wanted, gyaru style makeup. she couldnèt handle the bottem lashes and started crying then they turn around and say they don't like it and got my other sister (who hates my guts, we will call her Kyla) to redo it.
Then I start Patrica's hair then gets Kyla (who hates my guts) to do it. It looked like someting you would see done at a HillBilly wedding! while the whole time the Kyla is bitching what a bad dye job I did. When it is fine! sure inside, there are a few patchy parts but I made sure her hairline, tzone and rest was seemless! And Patrica never said she ever liked her hair but she never defended me either!.... I made up my mind she can do it herself for now on, even though I am in the middle of getting my stuff together to go to hair school (waiting on the loan! eeeeek!)
Then I look her prom photos, spent all day out in the rain and cold. And she goes and wants all the ones deleted that donèt make her look "sexy,beautiful, thin, ect" even though, the ones she wanted gone, were fine! they were just close ups of her face and hair... so I deleted the whole ablum and told her since she has the raw copies on her card she can do what ever she wants. Any way here are some of the photos... do you think I did a bad job? If I was to ask everyone to deleted photos that I didnèt like, I wouldnèt have many. I have come to accept sometimes I loook funny in photos but to ask me to delete my hard work..
I have often thought about finding a photographer to work with, and see if being in front of the camera is something for me. Ever since I was little, my mom's friends, and people in general, have told me I should become a model when I grew up, so this has been on my mind quite a bit for the last few years. Not as a main job or anything, but just as an interesting hobby.
My only problem is - I get super "shy" when I stand in front of the camera. I feel awkward posing for more than just a few seconds, for two reasons:
1. I don't know how it looks from the camera angle, so I'm terrified I look absolutely fucking retarded.
2. It feels so fake when I stay in the same position, whether it be smiling or doing some weird body-pose, for a longer period of time.
The mirror-trick doesn't really work for me since I can only see myself from one angle, and let's face it... A camera is almost never going to be 100% in front of you at all times.
So I want to ask all of you awesome friends that model, both for fun and professionally:
What makes you relax in front of the camera? What makes you feel like it's natural, and more confident about your poses and actions? Do your photographers direct you, or do you come up with ideas/poses on your own during the shoot?
If you have any other tips and tricks, please share! I'm desperate for a little help to get started.
I just wanted to inform you all, that I may be slightly, if not very, inactive from now on and until my dog is feeling better.
He got neutered today, and he is bleeding a lot under his skin. The area where his "lower parts" are/were, is completely swollen and filled up with blood - about twice the size of what it was when he still had his manhood. So I will be taking care of him, and keeping a close eye on his health over the next few days at least :/
I'm so frustrated I want to sit down and bawl my eyes out. He means SO much to me, and if anything bad happens to him, I will never be able to forgive myself. So I'm really hoping the bleeding stops and recesses before tomorrow.
Fortunately, my aunt is the vet that neutered him, and I'm staying at my stepmom's house which is right next to my aunt's house. But I'm just so worried about him, and I highly doubt I'll get any sleep tonight what so ever.
Skal gera thad <3And he feels a lot better now. The swelling has gone down a bunch and he stopped bleeding, fortunately.It's just really terrifying when your dog bleeds for over 6 hours, and there's nothing you can do about it, since his blood apparently doesn't really coagulate :/
No worries - my male kitty The Stinker got a total castration for Christmas and he was sore for a few days but is just as naughty and energetic as ever, haha! Did they have to shave your doggie in order to do that procedure? If so, at lease its easy to see if there are problems but I am sure your dog will be fine!
Yeah they had to shave him. But the problem is the fact that his blood doesn't really coagulate, as described in one of my comments. So he was bleeding for 6 or so hours, and his lower area was filled with blood under the skin, and therefore stretched out to the point of it ripping so the blood could get through. The vet (my aunt)said she'd never seen anything like this before.He now has major bruises down there, both around where his testicles were, and also around his actual penis. Almost up to his bellybutton even. But he's feeling better now, and I'm not as worried about it.I got some antibiotics he needs to take, as well as some painkillers that will arrive at our local pharmacy tomorrow. He got a shot of both medicines today around noon, so he should be good until the same time tomorrow, which is about the same time I can pick up the painkillers for him.