That's all I have been hearing for the last three hours, as I normally go to bed early, from people that are ' friends' go to bed, go to bed go to bed. I am tired of sleeping 10pm to 10am if I wanna fucking stay up for once let me goddamn stay up. when I am ready to goddamn sleep i will fucking sleep!!!
I live in the TRANSITIONAL PART of A HIgher Calling. It's not a prison, rehab or personal care home or shelter. I do not have to leave during the day. They have a shelter part, and a residental part. Residents DO NOT have to leave during the day. We do get two meals included with our residental package, but it comes as part of the package.
Rent is 350 a month, plus a portion of the power bill, and any other bills. I pay 20 bucks for internet.
It is not a shelter!
Rant: "I don't get enough mail, or attention boohoo"
June 17, 2013, 02:50:am
Ladies do you know men on VF who constantly spout that they have no life, yet want to bitch and whine because you don't lick their dick enough on skype, or also that you don't pay them enough attention on here?
Gee could it be because they are negative whiny people who are not interesting and not ugly yet not attractive enough for you to want to bang because they don't have any personality, and gods have to advertise the fact their single on their signature and that they want to party with you? Nothing wrong with that, except everyone on his friends lists sees the same thing, so therefore no personality, and you gotta wonder with everyone seeing it would he cheat? Yes, probably so.
Said someone looks like someone I have already been with, someone who faked his death and moved away from my town. It is the same person because he did cheat on me in real life and he did whine all the time about his personal relationships not working and him not getting enough attention..or dick or pussy if you don't mind me saying so.
Don't create broadcasts or journals to moan about how much attention you don't get on vf. For gods sakes, have some manners, personality and go douche or something.
Get off your rag, Justin!!!!
Feeling a lot better today.
It was nice to wake up and not already be stressed out.
I still have a LOT of catching up to do, but at least now I'm moving in the right direction and don't have to start selling off my essential studio gear.
Mood: Determined Music: The Ocean - Mesopelagic Into The Uncanny
Blah, I can't wait till I'm able to pay off my cello... I think I still have almost $300 left to pay. I also need to save money for my boyfriends gift, and my trip to Cali... And thinking about it, I think I should have gotten that black electric violin... -.-* Sometimes I can just be too stupid.
It seems like I've fallen back into a long night of depression.
Intellectual conversations have become apart of my past. All I hear everyday is drugs, weed, and everything in between.
I've lost my interest once again. Not to mention hearing how no one left in the world has a single piece of innocents left has really twisted me around.
Everyone's getting mad and upset at any little thing they can get their hands on.
Soothing music is a thing in the past.
I just want to be running around in a village, wearing a long dress, listening to random music filling the air. Not from a radio, or an ipod. Not from a car, but from a single man, sitting infront of his house smoking a pipe, and playing the flute... No more songs about rape.
Its like I just come home to stress. Not enough time with people just paying attention to the living things around them. Or maybe its just me, feeling abandoned again. Like always. I can never stop dreaming about my mom, my best friend, who I call 'mum' since she was a motherly figure, had just dropped me off the map out of no where, so feeling lost, and abandoned, I'm probably feeling it by everyone, like people would rather be doing something else.
You lose control. It throws you around violently. It's exhilarating. It's disorienting. It's the most thrilling thing that has ever happened to you. It happens so fast you have no idea what's coming next.
A girl posted on another page asking if it was better to be innocent or to have no shame.
My answer was:
"NEITHER... Both are pretty horrible.
Innocent people have no interesting stories to tell, miss out on important life lessons, and end up with a skewed perception of reality.
People with no shame sacrifice dignity, even if they keep it for themselves. I feel they have a skewed perception of reality as well, because they act as if punishment only comes from others and not from themselves. I believe that shamelessness is highly pathological.
When people say that they don't care what others think of them, it makes me wonder why they would choose to have friends. I've noticed these people tend to gravitate toward one another in what seems to be a desperate attempt at squandering approval from those who display the same philosophical and social dissonance.
There needs to be a healthy mix... People should feel shame if they act shamefully. People need to allow themselves to fuck up to learn what works for them and what doesn't. It's possible to be responsibly decadent. It's necessary to make informed bad decisions. Extremes of any kind are likely to result in disaster."
Interesting post. In response to the part about "not caring what people think..." I think it's better to not care what others think if those others just don't understand what you're all about and have no interest in your well-being. I don't care what people think, and I have friends, but I don't need their approval on anything. We respect each other and our ideas and opinions, but we don't need approval.