For those of you who follow my modeling stuff, I just looked at 62 of the photographers favourite images from the shoot we did Monday, and from there, I selected about 40 of them to be edited, so soon I'll be able to post those... I think I'll do a few at a time to stretch things out because if I post 40 at once its just too much. But yeah, I'm excited to get to share these with you guys, aside from the spontaneous stuff at Comicon, I haven't worked with a real photographer in a long time so this was great, and for those of you who don't know, I was actually not feeling well at all the day of the shoot and has zero time to do my hair, so all things considered it turned out really well I think!
A few weeks ago I discovered that there is this "thing" on youtube where people make videos with titles and tags referring to ASMR.
I think I might do a longer journal explaining what that is, but for now I need an ASMR fix and I'll be back later. But do let me know if you like ASMR videos too, I can't be the only weirdo who likes them lol.
I have a serious question for anyone that feels like giving input. Lately I've seen a lot of people, some casual friends, or acquaintances, or just random people wearing retro military inspired clothes and accessories. And I honestly do not understand the appeal at all and would like to know why people enjoy that look.
I've got a theory that perhaps some people see it as a tribute to soldiers fighting for what they believe in, but beyond that I really don't know. And if I'm being honest, sometimes the outfits look uncomfortably Nazi reminiscent, and I wonder why somebody would choose to dress like that when there are so many other styles to choose from that don't have a hateful history (And by the way, I'm not suggesting that every military outfit looks like a Nazi uniform, but when you get into styles worn during WWII or inspired by it, it can be hard to tell the difference, and really its those styles I'm wondering about the most). Is it meant to just shock people or to try and offend? Because there are other things people can wear to be shocking too.
I know people like things for all sorts of reasons and that you cannot tell what a persons beliefs and values are just by looking at them, but we do live in a very judgmental world, and I know I personally do not want people wrongly assuming certain things about me, and I suppose that might be part of why I don't have an interest in dressing that way myself. I don't want to wear something where a large portion of society looks at me and thinks "that looks like somebody who is a Nazi sympathizer or white supremacist". However, I'm totally fine with wearing a corset in public and if that makes people think I'm a bit kinky or something, I don't care about that judgement; it's just not the same sort of thing at all because while it may send a provocative message that doesn't necessarily reflect my personal life, for most people there would be no message of possible prejudice or hatred towards anyone.
I hope nobody reading this is offended, I just honestly would like to understand the appeal.
Hey guys, earlier this week I did a shoot with a photographer named Stephen that I'd been wanting to work with for a long time. Early next week I should have more to post, but I thought I'd share these two preview shots.
Thanks! Honestly a big thing I look for when choosing photographers is if they're good with lighting, because that's one of the hardest things to do with photography and really sets the pros apart from the amateurs. Anyone can pick up a camera and call themselves a photographer, but it takes skill to understand how to set up the lighting, and I could see this guy gets that with his portfolio which made me say yes when he asked if I wanted to collaborate. That, and his work is always extremely tasteful which I love to see.
As some of you many know, part of my username on here is a reference to Shadowfax, the Lord of all horses and the horse Gandalf rides in Lord of the Rings. Today I was sad to see a news story that a horse that played Shadowfax in the Lord of the Rings movies has died. But after doing some research, I've realized that there are some important things to note that most of the news stories are not talking about, and since I care, I'm going to talk about it and share some knowledge about horses.
1. There were TWO horses that played Shadowfax in LOTR. One horse, Domero was used more for closeup scenes, and the other, Blanco was used more for galloping scenes. The main horse Domero actually died way back in 2003. He was either injured or became sick while they were still making the movies, so the other horse Blanco was the one they used to finish the movies. Domero's death is actually a bit mysterious. Most of the old articles/message board posts and blogs which talk about his death say that he died of cancer, melanoma to be exact, but others say that the horse actually injured his leg during the filming of the movie, which lead to his death. I don't know which of those stories is true, or perhaps there was a leg injury AND cancer but I certainly hope there was no negligence involved, and frankly I don't think there was, because from everything I've found, all of the animals involved in the LOTR movies were extremely well cared for. Domero was 16 years when he died, which is pretty sad and also leads me to my next point.
2. Most of the articles about the recent death of Blanco fail to mention his age. Blanco lived to be 25 years old. And if you know anything about horses, for most breeds, 25 years old would be like an 85 year old person. I think there is a lot of misinformation about how long horses actually live, so allow me to explain. In general, like dogs, smaller breeds tend to live longer lives. Some breeds of ponies (not "baby horses" btw, drives me crazy when people think this) can live to be in their 40s and that might even be common for their breed. But horses usually do NOT live that long... occasionally some breeds might make it to 40 or maybe 50 sometimes in rare cases, but that is not average for a horse. Some horse breeds only live to be 15ish, some to 20, or 25, but it's unusual for *most* breeds of horses to live to 30+. That being said, the fact that Blanco made it to 25 should be something to celebrate, that is a long life for most horses and people who own horse need to accept that once they hit 20+ they could have issues and die at any time, and that would be normal, just as 80+ people can have issues and die at any time. So yes, it is sad that one of the iconic Shadowfax horses has died, but if you understand the significance of horse lifespan, people should appreciate that this was a good long life for him, and people need to be realistic about how long various kinds of life can live. Obviously someone who thinks horses live to be 40 might be horrified and find it tragic for a 25 year old horse to die, but they were probably given data about ponies, which are not just small horses, they are separate breeds just like how a Chihuahua dog is not the same thing as an Irish Wolfhound, it isn't even a *small* Irish Wolfhound (and by the way, on average the Chihuahua is going to live 11ish years longer than the much larger wolfhound).
I've recently became a slave to a wonderful Mistress, here's a poem I wrote for her after she told me I was her angel.
~On my knees praying for salvation, all I have to offer is devotion
~An angel, not of heaven but a dark place in the corner of your mind
She's not typical, she will never be perfect, offering her free will
Do as you please,
~The hart of an angel dances with the soul of a demon
~She tore off her own wings
Kneeling before you
head down hands
behind her back
~Fallen from grace
Craving the sting
A hand across her face
~Her words are pure her thoughts are not
Something left behind eats at her core
submitting to your will
A sweet mix of blood, sex and tears
Exhausted shy lay in a sweaty pile In the middle of the floor
What was she doing why was she here
Did she ever know did she even care
Something that started as empty sex became so much more
Razors tearing at her soul became blades slicing at skin
Letting someone else cut her became a fantasy
Tormented by Nightmares that became dreams
The pain she delivered released me from my cage
She sat I the floor papers fluttered around her, blood splattered around her
She should have stopped she could have tried insted she sat there
Lost in thought forgetting the blade she held
The blade that held her captivated by it's sweet sting
Sick words flow from her pen
Blood flowed down her arms
She couldn't bring her self to stop
Sick deprived and twisted
Page after page cut after cut
Without evening know it she has a chain around my neck
Every move tightens the links
The pain she delivers is exquisite
I crave the empty flirting
Tormenting me with her words
Her absence sharp as a razor
Lust fades to a reality
Alone once again
My arms empty
My hands only grasp the blade
Scars my only companion
Where where you when I lost my thoughts
Where was the compassion when I cried out for help
Leaving me alone to think
Alone in a darkened corner of my mind
Is it possible you were never there
Just someone I made up
A pretend friend to sedate my loneliness
Just another voice from some where far away
Right here inside me
You made her cry just for the excitement her tears brought you
the blood was yours just for the thrill
Carving a new path down a dark road
She lead the way guiding you with flashes of light
Just for a moment in time you thought it was just
Your actions brought pain and you enjoined no relished her demise
Killing the thoughts swirling around like ghost of joyful children
Damage that became a permanent fixture amongst both your thoughts
Visible scars only a hint at the gaping wounds left on souls
A living grave for you both to lay in together basking in the eternal glow of hate
I wanna feel and hear the crunch as a shatter a nose fucking blood spraying as you drop to the floor a scream muddled by the fluid flowing down your throat kick you while you beg for mercy plead for me to spear your life your cries only fuel my lust for your pain repeatedly I thrust a blade into you torso missing anything vital prolonging the pitiful existence you dare call a life I decided to let you live but only after maiming and defiling your sad useless body.. Leaving you on the edge of death wishing I had delivered that final ending cut..
- It's a beautiful day even tho the sun is shinning I find more warmth I'm the blood running down my arm more comfort in the blade in my hand...
I don't except you to understand, this addiction is something you'll never be able to comprehend...
- I'm so fucking cold, blade in hand I ponder the sweet satisfaction just moments away.. After the first slice my worry fades, a rush of calm as the blood surfaces, still the blade will never be sharp enough to cut away my shame. On the edge of bliss as the sting invades my sadness..
- after I sit satisfied a flood of chemicals leave me placid yet trembling all over.. A release better then sex a calm so consuming I can't help but grin.. The aftermath is one of pure bliss for me. All they see is the damage the scars left behind never understanding this is my one true love
It was very emotional, but I've listened to audiobooks of all the books so far in the series, so the stuff they show isn't usually surprising to me if its true to the books. In the book, the stuff from that episode was much more upsetting to me.
I knew which one you meant, when people talk about the emotional or bad or horrifying thing from the end of the season, that is what they mean. Hmmm... as someone who knows the books, that scene was mostly accurate, but they have changed quite a few things, and sometimes small changes create bigger changes later. Over all, I thought season one was the most accurate to the books, and as things go on, the changes get bigger. I'd actually say the very end scene from season 1 with Danny and the fire/birth of the dragons was the most accurate and very well done visually.