that pretty much says it all. I havent actually slept in a couple of days, despite the fact that when i've gone to go to bed I havent fucking slept at all. I'm tired as fuck, and i cant even think at all. But really... One thing i've always learnt is what the fuck does anything matter. Even if you try and try again you can always fail... And me, even when i've tried i've failed and doing the one thing i refused to let myself do. And my idea to sort it out, my mum hates it, so do half of my freinds... And honestly... I feel fucking sick. Its odd really; whenever people need me i'll do everything i can, but when it comes down to it and i need help; people do sweet fuck all. Even if i'm going against what i try to not do.
But ya know what fuck it. Why should anyone care. Done
So, it’s not my birthday until August. But my awesome other half bought me tickets to see REGINA FRICKIN SPEKTOR AGAIN!!! I am so excited, I could wet myself cry like a little girl! EEP!!! Yay for awesome boyfriends!
“I close my eyes and I let my body shut itself down and I let my mind wander. It wanders to a familiar place. A place I don’t talk about or acknowledge exists. A place where there is only me. A place that I hate. I am alone. Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. Alone with my Family, alone with my friends, alone in a Room full of People. Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror. Alone in my horror. I don’t want to be alone. I have never wanted to be alone. I fucking hate it. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again. I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness. I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming. . . More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone.”
Got accepted to quinnipac university (: now just a couple of weeks until I graduate then summer gonna go hard before college in September
I can't wait for warped tour and allstars tour and a couple of locals show and start of a new band (:
Finally I know where I'm going in life no time to screw up now (:
Btw is anybody going to the warpedt tour date in Hartford? If you are let's meet up
Mood: Excited Music: Tell me the truth - I am king
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I got Independence Day. Cause you know. Will smith bitch slapping an alien is a most.
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