I'm not criticizing the blatantly terrible stuff like the one where Princess Leia has a hot affair with 3PO, and Han Solo's long lost teenage sister '' Raven '' brutally murders them before jumping to lightspeed with Linkin Park's '' Run Away '' blasting over the speakers.
If the protagonist has an improbably cool name, a unique weapon/outfit/powers that renders them nigh invincible and is universally loved and admired by all at the expense of established canon I have to assume the worst.
Or I could be Paul W.S Anderson and adapt my scribblings into several Hollywood films with my wife playing the main character. But with that kind of power, comes responsibility.
I was dreading shopping for a dress today because one, I haven't worn a dress in 10 years and two, I wasn't sure how it would look on me, since I just always do the blouse and skirt thing. The beauty of a two piece outfit is that you can customize. I'm usually a medium on the bottom and a large on top. A dress is just "all of you better fit into one size as is".
But alas, it only took me 20 minutes to find the perfect dress that wasn't black! It's a navy blue dress [yes it's still a dark color] with a cute little jewel pinned at the waist. It fit me PERFECTLY. I was surprised at how well it fit me and how good I look in it! I just now have to find the perfect shoes, jewelry, and makeup to coordinate. That's the easier part. Now to find a wedding gift!
After that, my mother and I went to the vitamin store and as we were walking up to the entrance, I noticed this young guy, who looked like a typical jock. I want to think he was in his mid-20s. I just thought, okay he's going to go in first and maybe hold the door so one of us can grab it and whatever. To my astonishment, he opened the door and let my mother and I in first! We were like, "Oh, thank you!" I also smiled and nodded at him. I guess he's used to people being surprised because he laughed and said, "You're very welcome".
Aww, chivalry is NOT dead after all. I can't speak for all, but us women ARE independent and we love to take charge, but once in a while, we want our doors opened for us, we want our chairs settled, we want you men to hold our hand and lead us. At least I do. I love a man that takes charge and knows what's going on. I love a man that speaks up about something that is not right. He doesn't have to be a big guy; just someone with confidence.
Oh wow, my friend is getting married in 10 days..... I just might cry that day.
Always lonely. But why ? Is it because I do not understand myself, the people that I see, the world, that I am lonesome time to time ? Or is it just the fate of every Lone Wolf. I say, I have a beautiful family with a cozy home. Fabulous friends. No. They're amazing ! And yet, there seems to be something lost. Actually it was always lost to me. No. This is ridiculous ! How can you loose something you never had ? Silly me.
Why do you mock me so, dear reflection ? It's hard to understand being that the mirror is cracked, rusty, and used too much. So it's hard to look into it. Could it be that the mirror is a reflection itself ? A reflection of my cold heart. I know I am not the only one who's mourned for... love. Not once but many times. But love I no longer mourn for. But the love given to me and that still is is too complicated for me too understand. Why take me in ? Why hold me ? Who am I to you or you to me ? What did I do to deserve your compassionate arms ? You have your own, why treat me any better ? Or treat me as if at all ? Mental questions to all friends and family. Especially "Why love me?".
I was angry. Confused. Lost. All I did was hate myself for not understanding the "Love" and not appreciating the gifts that came with it (as if love was not a gift itself). I mimic the only things I did understand to try to express what I "felt". But it's not enough. It's never enough. So I mourned for apathy. Believing that I can not love them the way they love me. Questioning "Why love me at all ?". I don't deserve it. Either way, I will not successfully deny the part of me that welcomes and appreciates the love. I thought "Hate me. Stop loving me. Then I can set myself free without leaving anyone in pain/grief", if you know what I mean.
I'm currently distracting myself from this part of me with school, friends, and further duties that must be attended. It's worked so well so far. I no longer mourn for such silly things. The questions still lure in my head. Like this one: "Am I loved too little Or too much ?". Just recently I realized that these questions may be answered someday, but not understood. Making it pointless to be answered. Why ? Simply because "Love" is a force, an emotion that I will never understand.
I know there is someone out there who feels just as "hollow" as I. Just as empty. It makes me sick. "Why/How so ?". It makes me sad. And because I don't want to make those who'd be pained to see me feeling so, I hide it. What a price to pay. The echoes of my heart grow louder and louder. Indicating that... that. It's growing. Will this heart of mine loose itself in the very pit of my own sorrow ? Silly me. Why do I think such things ? Now I don't remember what else that was to be written. Or typed. Oh well.
I've been writing some poetry, mostly in Spanish. Sometimes, some things are better said in another language. I haven't felt this way in years and it feels awesome to unleash these emotions onto paper.
I was in a house full of people and I guess there was a party going on or something.
I saw 3 people in particular there. Well physically, I saw 2 of them; the other I felt his presence but did not see him.
One is bad and the other 2 are the good. I've seen 2 of them in my dreams before and the other one is the first time I've seen him in my dreams since I met him. I don't know if I was waiting for him to appear in my dreams. And now that he has, I don't know what it means.
Anyway, I saw this on one of my FB friends' news feed and I thought it was a good read. Love Is Not Enough.