Hi, I'm Jules... Many of you may know my name. My life was signed by its tragedy. I was coming back home from a metal party outside my town and my friend, who held me for the rest of the night said "you're a good person... but unlucky". 21 years old of unluckiness if that word exists... Do I exist? I guess I'm only a broken heart, a ghost lost in the middle of the mist. A ghost. I only feel nothing but pain inside! And try to erase it by hurting myself... Not hurting myself actually but hurting my insides. I caught myself coming home and crying with no tears which is the saddest thing, cause it means you've cried your heart out till you ran out of them. Like... Dude, I gave it all, I'd give it all, for you to... waste? What's left of us? Why?
Forget it, folks. I had a good idea to express my shit and now I'm lost in nonsensical words.
Jan 21, 2015, 03:58pm
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do you really think your witty, besides you to much of a chicken to show your face. your lucky cause id hex you. my craft i cant look at you and devour your soul
It's been a long time since I don't write in here and as it's something obviously sad, I gotta stop the music xD Yeah, I was listening to Satyricon, so people don't say I only center in a band or in one genre.
Months haven't been easy for me. I broke up with Marki and our differences made us to grow apart (I woke Zoë up, sorry beautiful, she uses to sit on my lap when I write... Yes, she's a cat) so my parents haven't allow me going out much these days, as you may know, Buenos Aires is not a safe city at all, and I'm a compulsive liar so they stopped trusting me years ago. I fell into depression, I mean, I can be days alone in my bed crying until I stop. Then I smile again and I'm the stupid little girl who makes everybody laughs and screams 'HORCAS, TE AMO!!' Everywhere.
I've been listening to Draconian a lot lately, seems the band that actually says what my heart feels, specially I feel sick and sad cause all my friends have their SO or people keep saying 'oooh, that one is gonna come soon, just be patient'. The hell with that! Feels like they never got a broken heart or their lives' been too easy or they don't fucking understand what is suffering from a deep anxiety and depresion.
I'm in love but it's just another ilusion and I don't wanna talk about it, really. So, as I always say "I'll fall in love with my loneliness so it abandons me like everything I love". I guess I'm not gonna fail this time! The thing that brings me down the most is that Horcas is not coming to my town til April so that's even worse. Though, in a month I'm going to see Mastifal, some friends' band, and one of the most important of death metal in here.
It's strange that I actually write a lot here and not about just one thing. I'm only writing random things on my mind. Zoë just put her head over my arm and fell asleep again. Guess friday I'm going to Cuarto Apostol, a metal bar in Capital, and try to bury my heart a bit.
That's all for today. Hope I don't bore you. Night!