sometimes you realize that the closest people to you are the ones the farthest away. the ones that wont speak to you today. the ones that wiped memories of you from their head. my mind scrambles visions filled of dread. in this nightmare i cling to someone. I hope it to be a friend come. Yet I am at the hands of my enemy. Thoughts clouded by the negative energy. Yet bliss comes from the darkest shadows. The black rain cloud flourishing the meadows. The brooks no longer shallow. These grounds might considered to be hallowed. For letting another memory slip from me. Is like another kick to a damaged knee.
in the moments of happiness one can realize the brilliance in the sadness. the every day routine that drives one into madness. but even in the moment of misery there is some hope from the situation. the knowledge gained from the humiliation. the man that becomes the ponderer. the one who will be the wanderer. soul searching the cosmos. the thoughts is what will problems cause most. the trick is sound mind not to think behind. but look through the plain of vision. there are 12 ways for each decision.
After finding her for more or less two years, i finally found her. She's like my bestfriend by that time and though i don't believe much in friendship i tried and did found her for even a stone need someone to talk to sometime.
Everything's normal, i had a friend again. Till today i found out that she went away once again. She went away without saying anything.
People come and go and only fools will shed any tear for being left behind. Friendship, it's not that important afterall. i won't look for someone who abandoned me again, i won't look after to someone who ran away from me. i will run after my enemies and not for anyone else.
I agree , a lot of people have a notion that friendship is like the sort of thing you learn when you're in the third grade. you shouldn't give a full trust maybe just a bit.of trust is fine friendship is really just a word people throw in about someone they somewhat know about.
quiet windy night, off my balcony the lights in my sight. as the glimmer fades to a simple grey. like looking in eyes you don't know what to say. dont worry tho every day is a new day, some more time to play. waitng for april to be over, wash away the memories wishing we had luck needing a 4 leaf clover. when the door begins to close. you think its the end untill the true path begins to show from the lie you chose. untill the whole plan blows. you try to stay the same so no one else knows. even when the problem is accepted. still total devotion is expected.
sometimes words can not express the way your heart feels, either torn apart or burning while the wound still heals. the very fabric stained by all the drunken spills. still staring out the window waiting. silently anticipating, with out participation. can't remember the sensation. the cold days windows covered with condensation. out the window with memories changing into fog much like an artery with a clog. its self induced. you know but are silent even when the doctors haven't deduced.
Walking and talking to a strange old woman out of that secluded town to the Jeepney stop gave me some kind of fun. As we pass the bridge, I discovered that she's the mother of my enemy from the pass. Well, as we reach the shed and got the Jeepney came, i paid the fare for her. It's the only time of the day where i don't have to follow directions, talk, ask, smile according to my manual. Good day every one. It's already summer here and I hate it.
Its just a pointless day that remindes me of what I'll never have.... actual love for someone that has an actual love for me, I've been alone every valentines day for 7 years I'm so close to giving up on finding that one person who would make me happy....
I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but don't give up. You will find that person that will make all your waiting worthwhile. It may not seem like it now. And things will get better, just keep on pushing through.
Its just a pointless day that remindes me of what I'll never have.... actual love for someone that has an actual love for me, I've been alone every valentines day for 7 years I'm so close to giving up on finding that one person who would make me happy....
I recently lost somebody very close to me due to a drug overdose I wish I could have helped this friend before it was too late but what's done is done and I can't change that and nothing kills me more then to see a fallen comrade I wish I could handle this concept of life and death but I still struggle to accept death as a way of life, why was man created? Why do we endure such pain from a god who scorns us? Seems like a lot of questions and no answers which seems to frustrate me even more is that one day I will be dead too life seems so meaningless sometimes. Fighting depression seems like a never ending battle and to think with the millions of people on this planet why was my life chosen to endure such torture and self hatred, I find myself losing faith in anything I hold close in my life and furthmore my sanity seems to be slipping out the door because we do nothing more then live in a world gone mad, a crazy world where death is just a way of life...
I'm not the type of guy who would cheat and lie to someone i love andI hope you're not the type of girl that would keep secret and leave me in a blink of an eye.
