go to vampirefreaks main page

TheMetalGuru's Friends' Journals

Profile Journal Friends' Journals Friends' Profiles


Luxurya
...another weekend that passed by...
November 24, 2014, 02:28:pm
...well is Monday again, and, again i'm physically and emotionally drained...
Weekends lately are having a tendence to be terrible to me.

Saturday wasn't that bad, i woke up crying, again, this happens every once in a while, the past months often.
I'm in a constant deep pain caused by someone, and that makes me feel stupid and weak.
So well... i woke up crying i left my room looking as nothing, went to work, had a heavy agenda till midday, go back to the house just to found one of my dogs ill... with the very same illness that killed my other dogs a bit while ago...
I spent some time with her and then i went to my room to what something on Netflix, i'm currently watching Once Upon a Time, i recommend it, is a good time waster. I drank a beer and got some food...

But Sunday... oh Sunday... i didn't left my bed for a second, i only told to my self "sleep, sleep and don't think" it kinda worked, i couldn't sleep all day but as soon as i was awake i started again with the "sleep sleep you don't want to know, you don't want to think"... it kinda worked... for most of the day i was in that state... but i failed at passing the day, around 7 p.m. i couldn't went back to that i was already thinking, turned on my phone just to found nothing there...
All the things that overwhelm me rushed to myself... i didn't wanted to cry again, but i did, still i didn't left my bed...
I really wish for all to come to an end, i fantasized about killing myself for a while... till i went to sleep...

Today i woke up quite dizzy, but it didn't matter that much to me, i left my bed, took a cup of cereal, went to the gym... came to work... i'm still dizzy with a ton to do... with a lack of everything...

|

>>
leave a comment


friskyfox3
November 21, 2014, 03:06:pm
Don't Add me as friend if you.have never actually.said.hi
Thx

(2) |

last 5 of 7 comments:

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
November 21, 2014, 03:43:pm
|
Lol well replying to a.journal is.kinda.hi wave evening,Marty

Fallenangel87

[reply]
November 21, 2014, 03:48:pm
|
Evening Ann wave

Earthchild

[reply]
November 21, 2014, 07:28:pm
|
It's been a while since I've said hi to either of you so....... hi wave

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
November 22, 2014, 04:46:am
|
Hi George

Black-as-Dawn

[reply]
November 24, 2014, 06:57:pm
|
evening :-D

>>
7 comments


friskyfox3
ha ha seriously kids
November 19, 2014, 03:00:am
Lol browsing profiles
17 year old kids who are apparently hard core master into everything
Come back when you can grow some face hair lol

(3) | (1)


Black-as-Dawn

[reply]
ha ha seriously kids
November 19, 2014, 03:04:am
(1) |
PMSL ya joking yeah i'm dying on the floor here lmfao

Fallenangel87

[reply]
ha ha seriously kids
November 19, 2014, 12:15:pm
|
i get that with random 13/14/15yr old girls asking if i want to meet up and have sex lol

epic69

[reply]
ha ha seriously kids
November 19, 2014, 02:33:pm
(1) |
I have a epic beard going on haha

>>
3 comments


friskyfox3
that's just weird
November 14, 2014, 03:45:pm
OK so used to be a twitter addict
Dived on their Tonite after months away and two people I chat to or used to chat to here are following me


Zee tinternet is scaries

(2) |


Fallenangel87

[reply]
that's just weird
November 14, 2014, 03:48:pm
(1) |
Aww Ann has stalkers lol :-p

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
that's just weird
November 14, 2014, 03:51:pm
|
Lol hides

Fallenangel87

[reply]
that's just weird
November 14, 2014, 03:56:pm
|
Aww why you hiding for lol

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
that's just weird
November 14, 2014, 03:59:pm
|
Lol just weird as completely diff user names on each site lol

Fallenangel87

[reply]
that's just weird
November 14, 2014, 04:04:pm
|
Well why not lol

>>
5 comments


AlmightyMetalHead
In My Dreams
November 11, 2014, 06:57:pm
When the moon is high in the heavens,
And the sharp winds howl like wolves.

I lay in the darkness twisting and turning,
My mind won't give me any peace.

I dream of when we were as one,
my secret passion is known to none.
If only I could turn back time,
When your lips and heart they were only mine.

They were only mine....

Why do I think of our past together?
Your face haunts me forever and ever
Dreaming of our time together
Your beauty haunts me, forever and ever

I dream of when we were as one,
my secret passion is known to none.
If only I could turn back time,
When on my erected pride you were sliding down

You were sliding down...

Why do I think of our past together?
Your face haunts me forever and ever
Dreaming of our time together
Your beauty haunts me, forever and ever

Of all the glistening stars you shine brightest of them all.

Why do I think of our past together?
Your face haunts me - forever and ever
Dreaming of our time together
Your beauty haunts me, forever and ever

In my dreams we are still together
Forever and ever...

Please let me sleep, forever and ever......

(1) |


arachne667

[reply]
In My Dreams
November 15, 2014, 07:17:pm
(1) |
Love that :-)

AlmightyMetalHead

[reply]
In My Dreams
November 15, 2014, 07:56:pm
|
<3

>>
2 comments


sissipini
MetalStorm
November 11, 2014, 05:44:pm
Metalstorm since rolling since 2004 for me ahahahaha


http://www.metalstorm.net/users/Black_Lady/profile

|

>>
leave a comment


friskyfox3
November 09, 2014, 01:54:pm
Love it when someone only chats so you when they,are kinda drunk and are clearly only doing so to report back to ex hubs

(3) |


Pussifer

[reply]
November 10, 2014, 06:56:pm
|
the gossip mongers among us

>>
1 comment


friskyfox3
what a week
November 07, 2014, 04:06:pm
Interesting chats with ex hubs and eldest son
Kinda paranormal experience via my dead grandad
Lovely memories with mum and sis

Feeling contended with life in general

|


Fallenangel87

[reply]
what a week
November 08, 2014, 04:35:am
|
At least someone is

>>
1 comment


VegaTheVegan
November 30th or December 7th Casting for models near Irvine Ca!
November 05, 2014, 03:46:am
I as a photographer will be renting a studio in Irvine for a Straight edge lifestyle shoot.

I will be renting a studio in irvine on 11/30 or 12/07 depending on what works with everyones schedule best.

This is a lifestyle shoot based on straight edge chosen style of living, sobriety. No alcohol, no drugs, no smoking and for some no caffeine or medication. Most fallow with a vegan or vegetarian diet.

I will be shooting mostly in black and white, there will be a party scene present as the back drop and there will be a table of substance such as alcohol and drug related things mislabeled as poison or venom, in the front there will be two main models one playing the part as edge and the other as the influence. Thinking i may switch these parts around a few times perhaps three models being the influence to the one.

I am casting for any models interested please message me if you are interested in one of the main parts I am sure they will go quick. But if you would be happy to be a part of the party scene there will be extravagant make-up and hopefully wardrobe.

Also in need of MUA, wardrobe stylist and hairstylist.
If you are in need with help in your portfolio i will be happy to pay you back with photos of style you use during the shoot.

All work is for trade I can give you a copy of all photos same day if you provide a memory card, flash drive, cd, or any other means otherwise i will post the photos for you to download.

if there are any other questions or ideas please feel free to contact me.

(1) |

>>
leave a comment


bambiecrow
......
November 04, 2014, 06:32:am
Hello Darkside!!!! <3

(1) |

last 5 of 7 comments:

tempting_trama

[reply]
......
November 04, 2014, 07:36:am
(1) |
Why wouldn't there be? :-D

johnny_death

[reply]
......
November 04, 2014, 09:36:am
(1) |
ello

lorddeath

[reply]
......
November 04, 2014, 11:38:am
| (1)
i made cookies and non for you bambie lol

RavenousLover

[reply]
......
November 04, 2014, 11:31:pm
(1) |
purr

bambiecrow

[reply]
......
November 06, 2014, 03:41:pm
|
i can make my own cookies....that probably dont taste like they came from plastic:-p

>>
7 comments


friskyfox3
November 03, 2014, 03:24:am
Morning vf peeps

(2) |


Defiant65

[reply]
November 03, 2014, 05:35:am
|
Evening, Frisky. Slept well?

Fallenangel87

[reply]
November 03, 2014, 12:23:pm
|
Morning Ann wave

>>
2 comments


friskyfox3
November 01, 2014, 11:30:am
Listening to system of a down .. Metallica .. Marilyn Manson .. Etc while gothing up for pubs fancy dress

(2) |


Defiant65

[reply]
November 01, 2014, 11:33:am
|
I hope you win the fancy dress, Frisky. :-) What's your costume like?

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
November 01, 2014, 12:05:pm
|
Not really a.competition more fun Black shirt with purple goth cat motif Hair up in random pony tails and purple bows and glitter Black short skirt Black tights Purple and black thigh high socks Black suede boots

>>
2 comments


friskyfox3
October 31, 2014, 05:14:am
Halloween fancy dress tomorrow
IM going all black and purple

(4) |


Defiant65

[reply]
October 31, 2014, 05:42:am
|
Stay safe, Frisky, and I hope you receive plenty of chocolate. cuddles

LokuKina

[reply]
October 31, 2014, 05:52:am
|
That is pretty cool. I think majority of those in the cults I am in are also doing black and purple. A very popular choice it seems. Enjoy your night.

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
October 31, 2014, 05:53:am
|
Thx :-)

>>
3 comments


Luxurya
About giving up...
October 27, 2014, 03:27:am
Lately my heart feels heavy... full of grief... wich i don't know where it comes.
I have a strict code and a pretty well moral compass, my conscience is clear and at peace... but not my mind.
So where's all this coming?
Sometimes, the void or feeling empty would make think and feel unwanted, worthless... but this... nothing but grief and pain..

I'm wishing for my death again, so fiercely and strong as i used to...
i never thought i would survive this long...
When i was young... or younger if you prefer... i had established my life terms, i remember all the abuse, specially the emotional from the woman who gave birth to me... i said i wouldn't live beyond 18 years old...

So i started with attempting suicide... taking pills, drinking chemicals... doing dangerous things...
but nothing... maybe my will to die was weak... then i experimented with that a little...needles on veins, rubber bands to concentrate more blood...
i remember when i dropped school and my room with the heavy metal door and no windows where each night i went to sleep in tears and blood... or better said where each night i lost consciousness from the bleeding...but it was never enough... when i woke up each afternoon, because i never was awake at morning, i cleaned the blood from the floor with the same razor... as it was already dry... i remember all, even if not everyday... butmy arm is full of scars so i can't really forget... there are more scars scaterred, the ones on my chest for example... a ridiculous response for a heat that was in pain...

I'm a trapped animal.
In many senses.

I've tried, i've worked hard, i've been brave, i've been restless...
i've been everything... but it seems that everything is not enough...

Lately i'm feeling the need of bleed again... i'm having this death wish becoming stronger and i'm thinking that maybe... if i try again i will be successful... but i can't do anything right now... it would be a nuissance with my brothers wedding and that...

This world and me... we never belonged to each other...
Maybe i should stop trying to live... maybe all these years have been nothing but a waste of time and effort...
maybe i should be gone long ago...

This is a erratic journal entry, i can't sleep again and i'm trying to get some stuff out of my head to try to sleep at least a couple of hours... as tomorrow i have to go and quit the job where i was and molested everyday... with enough time to not get late to the new job... wich will be an odissey as idk what the manager will say and they have to pay me for the last days even if i was on vacation and the proportional part of the annual bonus and i'm pretty sure they will play dumb and try to not pay me anything... another battle...

(1) |

>>
leave a comment


friskyfox3
October 24, 2014, 03:49:pm
Nicki minaj's bum


Please discuss

(1) |

last 5 of 10 comments:

friskyfox3

[online]
[reply]
October 24, 2014, 04:21:pm
|
Lol glittered ghost

Jeimii

[reply]
October 24, 2014, 04:43:pm
(1) |
This made me hard.

Jeimii

[reply]
October 24, 2014, 07:04:pm
(1) |
Stick it in that, coat yo dick in plaque. Mmm

Glittered-Ghost

[reply]
October 24, 2014, 08:08:pm
|
lmfao... to the dude saying "girls are obviously jealous" I'm jealous of her money and that's it...

>>
10 comments

>PREVIOUS>


[ VF Points: 0 ]   [ Points Today: ]
[ Terms of Service ] [ About ] [ Getting Started ] [ FAQ ] [ Privacy Policy ]
© VampireFreaks.com / Synth-tec Inc. 2014   All Rights Reserved