Let's just sit here and smile, content with life. Even if it only last a moment. Enjoy this moment of Solitude of Silence. Not silence of the world but the silence of your mind. Just sit here and Enjoy. The bliss of your mind thinking of nothing, a brake from All realities. No happiness or hope, No pain no suffer. Forget your existent and soak in external Bliss. Absolutely Nothing at all moments is better then Sex while High. The most unproductive thing We can do is deemed Wrong in this reality, Yet it is the most Cleansing Refreshing Healthiest thing you can do. Lets just sit here and do nothing, say nothing, and think about nothing. When we return smile and enjoy this Unique High in Silence.
Mood: Bliss Proud and Flirty Music: RunawayBaby - BrunoMars
Being trapped in my own world for so long Nice to had met some Awesome people the past few months who took me in.
Being around so many People Im becoming more social then I have ever been and I love it. Must thank JC (the first to even introduce me to this new world and friends) Plagu3, Casca and Glow-stick-man XD (never knew his name- Bad Durga, bad!) for All the good times at the events. You guys do youre best to keep up XD
People always say don't go on about the past but memories make personality's and shape us who and what we are as people and give life to us for example if I wasn't born in my past I wouldn't be here in my present and future, from a logical un-emotional stands point, in order tl have a present or future with someone from the past they must atone make a mends and fix the past with a better present and future for example if someone stole a £10 for years ago they should know give you £40 if they wish to fix it and carry on together, If someone stole a career away from you and 3years they should pay you back a career plus the costs of how much money is lost due to the loss of the career if it was their fault and any bills you have on-cured living alone paying rent as you would most likely live with the person who you was with.
But that would take sed person what 6years to put right a 3years mistake, it'd take 1-2years paying half their earnings to fix it then 6years spoiling the person they wish to be with cleaning up after them making sure their always happy accepting their always right always being their for them, no matter what and not letting anything inter-fear with that process nothing at all true they still will have to work in their career as advised for a constant income but things like friends family should not inter-fear in someone else affairs and private life as it is their own a unity between two people that does not concern anyone else.
Failing to do this who they are with now they should not dwelle on the past but move on with a future with the new person they are with if they cannot or will not abide by the rules of fair law and nature to the old and thus should also move on with a relationship with the new one because if the old one is not fixed both the sed person and the old one's relationship cannot continue and has met it's end, things in life both have a beginning middle and end that has always been the case.
People often run away from their time paradox's and para-dimes thinking they can escape the past but the past makes you the being you are today to run away from it only causes traumatic pain fucks your mind up and causes bad habbits problems like alcoholism eating to less or eating to much things like this are your mind saying it's not happy and your body trying to cope up with the problems by drinking them away eating them away or eating less to become nothingness.
But problems of the mind then enter my realm one would say since it'd delve into psychology a bi product of psychology is manipulation.
Manipulation is a tool, it is what a hammer is to a monkey or a builder, but rather than building and breaking houses manipulation is used to build and break minds.
One could say or argue either nature vs nurture or will power things such as these do exist and offer somewhat protection from manipulation but are nothing more than a safety blanket a construct of ones mind to hide away or block it out.
I right this journal due to im unemotionally detached from my past and I am over it but it just go's to show you people from your past who say they wanted a relationship with you clearly was lying to not fix the past and make it right.
However I often use my manipulation to cure such things as alcoholism anorexia I generally help people not always I am no saint councilers and psychologists charge money for their service I charge a future with you if you live close and your a semi fit woman if your a guy I charge a job eg talk to your manager at your work place fix me up a 9-5job somewhere if your not going to pay in cash.
Other than that the only people I help is my friends or those I wish for the odd flirt, unless it benefits me or has something to do with me my past experience has taught me to turn a blind eye.
That is what I think and thank you my fellow readers for taking time to read this rather bizarre complex and complicated view of the world and all the little people inside it.
Seems like reality took a toll on all who I know. Be sure to understand this will only last the moment, everything is just a moment. Moments that will never come back and moments that will only haunt you if you allow it. We live only in the moment. spent the moments doing all that you can to make yourself smile. Moments to be bliss with your own thoughts. Take this moment to be free...
Time is an illusion for we understand death, time means nothing to those who don't know death is approaching. So lets be ignorant to the idea of death and live in the moment, what you do is not wrong nor right, what you do with your moment is the moment that passes us all by. Do not look back on the moment for the moment no longer matters...
not sure what if everyone understands what I'm saying but I know there are the few
I understand... its just hard. I can be free in the moment but... I dont know. I regret so much in my life and even though I know I shouldnt, I end up becoming inactive just to avoid further regret. I wish more people thought the way you do. But as it stands, its too confusing.. I want to be free. But I have chains that cannot be broken.. and ive had them on so long that I even defend them. I dont know what the hell I am even talking about.
I understand you Taj. When it's hard to explain, it's usually the most simplest point that you want to make. I don't want to sound like a fortune cookie, but, sometime you do have to let go of that anchor to move forward. Durga to me seems very...zen in her approach to life. It's up to us to choose a simple life, or a hectic one. It's as simple as that. What you think is holding you down, whether work, family, whatever, has only become a habit for you. A habit of stressing over things that you do have a control over. Reevaluate those things in your life that's holding you and perhaps come up with another strategy or plan to either conquer it or to avoid it. Just try. Take one thing in your life and at least try to change it. Only then will you start breaking those bad habits.
Casca speaks the truth, he is also wise with his words. Thank you for explaining in a clearer understanding one aspect to Taj. Nevs I love your enthusiasm, think of of at a grater scale now, the universe is ever changing effecting us with every motion in action :3
So... Today's the day, I'm getting my first tattoo.
I'm obvs super excited. I'm thinking of getting my tattoo of choice
(Which I haven't figured out yet) going on my left thigh,
then going up through my left side and onto my stomach.
or just get it on my side hip going up and onto my tummy.
Still have like another hour or two to decide.
I'll post a photo later.
I dropped my Nintendo DS Lite while I was playing my Pokemon SoulSilver that my buddy Pete got me as a gift. Unfortunately the charger was plugged in and now it wont take ANY charge. How am I supposed to be unproductive for the rest of the day and cultivate the GREATEST 2nd Generation only Pokemon team ever assembled?! Woe is me ._.
I copied this off the encyclopedia it is a table showing that my birthday is inline with 4things
1. my birthday
2. Easter sunday
3. The georgian callander
4. The full moon solar/lunar eclipse
Table of dates of Easter 2001–2021
(In Gregorian dates)
Full Moon Astronomical
2001 8 April 15 April 15 April 15 April 8 April
2002 28 March 31 March 31 March 5 May 28 March
2003 16 April 20 April 20 April 27 April 17 April
2004 5 April 11 April 11 April 11 April 6 April
2005 25 March 27 March 27 March 1 May 24 April
2006 13 April 16 April 16 April 23 April 13 April
2007 2 April 8 April 8 April 8 April 3 April
2008 21 March 23 March 23 March 27 April 20 April
2009 9 April 12 April 12 April 19 April 9 April
2010 30 March 4 April 4 April 4 April 30 March
2011 18 April 24 April 24 April 24 April 19 April
2012 6 April 8 April 8 April 15 April 7 April
2013 27 March 31 March 31 March 5 May 26 March
2014 15 April 20 April 20 April 20 April 15 April
2015 4 April 5 April 5 April 12 April 4 April
2016 23 March 27 March 27 March 1 May 23 April
2017 11 April 16 April 16 April 16 April 11 April
2018 31 March 1 April 1 April 8 April 31 March
2019 21 March 24 March 21 April 28 April 20 April
2020 8 April 12 April 12 April 19 April 9 April
2021 28 March 4 April 4 April 2 May 28 March
Sitting, laughing, pressing matters at hand.
Shiver ran down my spine, euphoria ending quick.
Slightly shaving down the grain of my being.
Close touch, a lost love, a mourning ends here.
When the flow of life seeps into your soul.
The clouds torn across the sky, moonlight filtered.
Sounds of nourishment to our planet.
Bang from the celestial unknown , a mighty cry set out.
Destroy and create, cycle of eternal being.
Pounding on the window, elements drain away.
Eyes closed tight, just absorbing my surroundings.
Euphoria knocks again, invites itself to stay.
The storm calms and the pounding slows.
Shivers and cold chills dissipate.
I toss and turn, hoping it wouldn't end.
The perfect storm, flawless vulnerability.
It came to me promising endless devotion.
You left me, conscious of your presence.
Dew left as a result, life begins and continues.
Baring the weight for so long, always let go.
You cried for me, I cry no more.
I feel alive from the ground I climb scratching at the cages that once had me bound, kicking and screaming I once was a cage of both body and mind locked into bondage and tied down barking like mad spitting shouting and raving.
I will rip the cage open with my unyielding dominance and hunger for more for freedom and for sanity, freedom is the air I breath in and out and swallow from day to day, freedom is seeing the sun in the sky.
Freedom is being one's self if you cant love yourself you cant possibly love another.
As I quote a long saying of mine that has been both a burden and a blessing freedom is wings, wings to fly the wings of my long lost tribe the half of my name I go by ranix split up into ra nix
nix meaning phoenix I glow once again awaiting my mythological wings to fly once more from the dead like carcass of forgotten buried used up and burned memories singed up and stained into my cerebral brain.
Sometimes your mental jail can be memories that tie you down to a certain plane since memories make who and what you are and shape your personality they lye the path for bits of your future quoting the cause and effect paradox of time of course.
Like a chain reaction one will tie you down the other will set you free so whilst I continue to gnarl and attack the cages that tie me down I see glimmers of the light lightly shines and flair of the once decadent and begotten me shining through, the mist of darkness anger and rage.
I am part of two of what I would call a mixture or shaman and nomadic tribes my religion adopts RA= RAVEN NIX=PHOENIX
Both the good and bad I remain both remain me like a reflection of opposites looking back over an echo distorted and misshaped by time.