a lame ass poem i wrote at like 4am..
I know it sucks so please, no criticism...
There are some people i have missed
But by those same, i feel dissed
How can you say "i'm your friend"
When you leave me in the end
I give you my time
It should be a crime
To break someone, anytime
Broken inside; heart nothing more than a shred
I walk this road with everything i dread
Yet still i lift my head
Better than being dead
Yes. Today is Friday the 13th.
Being the person I am, it's one of my absolutly favourite days.
But not today.
Today is the two year "anniversary" if you will, that my eldest sister(i am youngest of three girls) commited suicide.
I've been thinking about both her and my mom a lot lately.
Even though she wasn't around for most of my childhood, she was still awesome to be around when she was. Especially after she had her daughter, my niece Alex,that i haven't gotten to see in 4 years, (i miss her dearly too...)
I miss all the funny times i've gotten superstoned with my sister and my best friend in Mom's backyard.
Playing with Alex on the floor when it's tummy time while Kristy took a shower.
Or when she called me a week before she.....
I love knowing i'm so much like her(there's good and bad to that)
I miss my mother too. I was such a total cunt to her... But everyday when i came home, she always asked how my day was. She made dinner basically every single night, cleaned basically every fuckin day(and rearranged omg xD)
I miss her laugh. She had such a beautiful sense of humour, must be where i got mine? :P
I use to hate knowing I look like her, now..i'm glad I do
I miss my, now angels..
I wish I could have spent so much more time with them before they left us.
I'm happy they aren't in pain anymore...but if I could have one wish. They'd be it.
I hope you two continue to watch over me and the family.
When i had my car crash i more thanked my Mother and Kristy than anyone...i know they were protected me and Derek that day.
Anyways. I miss you two with all of my being, and i think of you more than often. Derek loves when i tell him stories about you both, and wishes he could have met you...
We all miss you both.
Rest in peace, my beautiful angels...
Mood: Nostalgic Music: I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy & Faith Evans
so some guy messaged me and apparently I fucked him over on his previous account so he is going to "ruin me" and I'm a little worried about my Internet life..
If you hear any rumors about me please dispel them, none of it's true, some guy is just trying to fuck me over because apparently I "fucked him over" when I don't even know him or know what he's talking about... not my fault but if you're moron I immediately block or report you.
If you get a message from a guy with the username XDeathBlooms
Please pretty pretty please block him, power bomb him, ignore him, do whatever you can. He harassed me about something I don't even remember! He tried to get me to show my boobs to him. He doesn't even respect the fact that I tried to talk to him about what happened just harassed me "I'm going to ruin you" blah blah blah
Sadly he blocked me before I could get the chance to Powerbomb him or anything... so I'm just hoping that the good people of vampire freaks won't believe any false rumors he tries to create about me and please please let me know if you get a message from an account using my pictures these I am real and I have a fucking sign to prove it.
Didn't want to be friends anyway xDNope. Denied. I don't love you. I'm living my life on the fast lane, and you're just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much luggage. (Yes, it's a reference, no, you don't know it. It's a movie I'm going to make you watch though) <3
Sometimes... I wish i could bend without like, Breaking in half. That would be fab.
But nooo. Hunter tries to be flexible and he'll die.
Hunter is sad now.
So how is everyone? xD
&& I need new music and new cults,
So ya know.
If you have any suggestions, That'd be fabulous~
Also does my profile look less like shit? :'D
I've been trying to fix it since its all Like a few years old and outdated and shit...
I mean it still looks bad, but i personally think it looks better than before x'D
And I need to expand my social life :|
Anyone wanna be friends?
I turned 20. I'm old - . - so old. I started school again. My hair is growing back, this time I want to grow it longer. My natural hair keeps getting darker and it's pissing me off, I'm thinking of lightening it when my cartilage heals (got an industrial).
I feel like my life is truely changing. Im engaged. Im looking for a house. Trying to figure things out for my wedding. Im no longer letting my past get to me. Im finally happy that i found someone who truely loves me. So with the changing. Im clearing out old stuff on my page. Im going to be removing old pictures. Fixing up things that are on here. I would write more but i have things to do. Have a good day everyone!
Finally Redoing My Profile Information Since Allot Of It Was Written a couple years ago when i had more of a childish brain, and reading it made me hate myself because it was simply pathetic,
Also gonna try to Fix up My Layout since some of it went outdated and is just broken images/files or overlapped and shit.
Oh and i'm going to be doing a Friends List Clean Out Again within a Couple Days, Most of you already know the same bullshit i say, but either way ill still be posting a separate journal about the clean out before i do it and the reasons why you would be removed,
Also I am Looking To Join Some New Cults and try to start back up on decently helping out with inviting and shit,
So if you have any recommendations then just post a link and tell me what the cult is about and ill look into it~
If You Are In My Cult, i'm going to try and redo threads and attempt to resurrect the damn place since it went to hell,
I am also Looking For New Music, Wether it be old, new, a VF band, idc. If its decent then post the name of the band and some song names and i will look them up.
I Am Going To Attempt To Become Active Again, I know I have been pretty damn dead, but I've calmed enough to decide on coming back. This site has given me hell, but its also given me a damn good time in the past.
So anywho, If anyone wants to, you can add me on Facebook or Text me, if you need the link or number just ask and ill give it.
AND how have you guys been? What the bloody hell did i miss while i was away?~
The fucking bold wouldnt work so i changed font size, so this all prolly looks fucked to hell, but i havent slept in 48+ hours, so i really dont give a damn.
Mood: Tired As Fuck~ Music: Creature Feature-Bound And Gagged
So much shit going on this summer.
And then AUSA in October. I have 1,2,3,4 huge projects to get done. I'm most likely only going to have time and money to get Insanity and courage wolf together.
The other two are very secret until they get done and go boom because they're just that big.(wont be able to get in elevator all assembled because who the fuck can get in an elevator around 7 1/2 feet tall -stilts on-<Not made yet but agreed that they'd only be 6" to on foot and approximately idk how wide cause I haven't made the shoulders yet.
So much foam.
Too much foam.
Everything is becoming foam.