I'm not perfect, infact I am a little crazy. I have my quirks and qualms, my serenity and my freakouts,my love and hates, but I also have a heart and I want to help who I can. It is very hard for me to hate or to stay angry. I think now is the time to put a big part of anger behind me, nothing can change what was done but I can move on and allow my self to grow.
The heart is a funny thing that dose what it wants and never listens to the head, instead the head is there when the heart is broken, kinda like a best friend that helps you pull yourself back together.
No more hate, no more hurt the two go hand in hand, so to stop hurting you must stop hating. Its a vile emotion that gets the better of us and blackens our hearts like a cancer, but one that given time can be healed and pushed back.
So don't let hate eat you from within, after a while it is only yourself that you are hurting.
I would also like to say thankyou to all my friends who have been there for me through this. I can finally say, I am ok now and everything seems better.
So this week I started off by being sick with a chest infection, spent 4 days in bed I was so bad, put on all the pounds! well 4 of them, by day 5 i was back in the gym and good to go. Partied all weekend, dancing drinking a little and having fun. Got back down to 185 so I lost the 4 pounds my sickness have given back to me.
Today brings a new challenge, craving for pizza. Actually its been for the past few days. Its like hell. I want it but I don't because I know where it would go, straight back on my ass.
Today I found out that one of my friends passed on after a long battle with anorexia. She was a beautiful girl with a smile that could melt any sadness.
I had tried to offer her support but to no avail.
Seeing someone who was so stunning and healthy turn to nothing but skin and bone is hard to watch but it's not as if you can force feed someone.
When the shock hit I cried solid for a hour.
My thoughts go to her family who lost a daughter and her friends who lost one of the most amazing people they will ever know.
She was only young and should not of died like that.
Rest well little butterfly, your were and still are loved.
Ok so I have enough points to award one person 1 months premium. However there is a catch, to win this you need to draw a new VampireFreaks cartoon. Cat dog person bat or what ever.
Post your picture of your work here and I will pick the winner. Closes in three days time. So have fun with this.
Such a fucking charmer. Would love to know where he gets his "info" from.
-------------[Original Message]----------------
[Fecal-Intolerance] : May 24, 2013, 06:30am
>I heard you put your mother in a nursing home and consistently milk her for funds.
Maybe he thinks I am a trust fund kid too. Thing is I have worked hard for everything I have. Nothing was ever given to me. Plus if my mother was in a home she would have the place running wild. That woman is too independent.
thats a massive 22 pound loss in total to date. got to keep cracking at it, eating the right food and going to the gym, this is the only way weight loss happens and I am making it happen.
If one more person asks to see me on Skype I swear I will find you and cut off you freaking dick then shove it up your own arse. Fed up of this shit. Oh FYI I rarly if ever reply to inboxes or comments. I post in the message boards and some times cults. That's it. I don't send inboxes out to people. I don't add people. I just don't. If I could turn my inbox off I freaking would.
So sick of perverted wannabes. Hey you I want to see more of you on cam. I get I don't know how many of these a week and you know what no one has seen me on cam in around 5 years unless it has been a close personal friend, a family member or in Vf chat, even then it's just been talking so all you hidiouse men out there who think you could cyber with me get a fucking clue and grow the fuck up.
Today is the day if the burn! I went to the gym again this morning before work. Now on my break at work and everything hurts. Legs, arms , back and tummy.
But they say the burn means its working. I will keep pushing myself, I can see my goal and it is good. I will not give in. I will not rest until I have the body I wish for.
Come on little mini six pack, your hiding under that fat but now it's time to come out and play.
eh, that's in about 6 weeks. You'll be building muscle mass and toning though, so not dropping in weight doesn't necessaeily mean you've not lost and fat.
I remember overhearing one instructor at a dojo once telling a guy not to even bother looking at the scales - get a friend to write it down if he wanted to keep a score but so long as he keeps to the routine it can't possibly fail, so why keep track of something that might upset you unnecessarily? I dunno if this is relevant/good advice but it seems it might be useful
[ daveteb ] May 17, 2013, 11:48pm [X]
I'd kiss the insides of your thighs and your pussy through your panties.I'd slide your panties off and softly lick between your wet folds, kissing you whilst I gently rub your clit with my thumb.I'd start putting more pressure on you, softly pushing my tongue inside you a little then bringing it back out. I'd slide a finger up you and massage the small rough spot in your pussy as I suck on your on clit you'd start squirming beneath me.You'd buck into me trying to create more friction whilst sliding your fingers through my hair. I'd start to pick up the pace, burying my head between your legs and feasting on you, tasting your juices. Hooking two fingers inside you as I massage your clit with my other hand, occasionally sucking into my mouth, pursing my lips around it.
Now this is a line-up!!!
VNV NATION
FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM
COVENANT
FRONT 242
EISBRECHER
ATARI TEENAGE RIOT
THE MARCH VIOLETS SUICIDE COMMANDO
DIARY OF DREAMS
KMFDM
NACHTMAHR
ALEC EMPIRE
BLUTENGEL
LEAETHER STRIP
DOPE STARS INC
NFD
BREED 77
ZEROMANCER
GOTHMINISTER
SKELETAL FAMILY
SENSER
THE EDEN HOUSE
ALIEN VAMPIRES
ROTERSAND
EISENFUNK
[:SITD:]
ANGELSPIT
PRETENTIOUS MOI?
DEVIANT UK
DIE SO FLUID
UNTER NULL
XP8
SUBSOURCE
INERTIA
SKREAMER
COLLAPSE
BEHOLDER
SOMAN
UBERBYTE
TENEK
CONCRETE LUNG
I!
JESUS LOVES AMERIKA
V2A
LOVELORN DOLLS
PARESIS
THE LAST CRY
BULL-RIFF STAMPEDE
SEVEN DEADLY
KREMATED
NOVEMBER-7
MARIONETTES
ZEITGEIST ZERO
SPIRYTUS
GENERATION GRAVEYARD
ENEMO-J
GLOBAL CITIZEN
THE FRANKLIN FREAKSHOW
KRYSTAL SYSTEM
DIGICORE
MAXDMYZ
BLACKEN THE NAME
PERPETUAL
ALTER RED
NULL WHITE
SINNERGOD
PETROL BASTARD
CRASHGATE
K-NITRATE
K-BEREIT
SPAWN OF PSYCHOSIS
GODSIZED
THE CUREHEADS
BLACK ACID SOULS
SYSTEM:FX
STERO JUGGERNAUT
VIVID NATION
44 FIRES
STEAMPUNK EXPERIENCE:
PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL
BB BLACKDOG
METROPOLIS
GLADSONE
BIRTHRITE
SEAS OF MIRTH
CRIMSON CLOCKS
SKORBUT
WHISKEY BOB SHAKER
So after being really sick the other day my weight dropped a little quicker. New weight today is 190 pounds! Or 13.5 stone! 42 pounds to go or 3 stone!
face
