1. Website is still under construction so please be patient...
2. I am getting very aggravated with how things are not working out with my new AKAI Pro Mini - I waisted my money and my MicroKorg (Used) is not as helpful as I hoped. At this rate I should have kept my nappy Yamaha LOL...
It never Ends...
But next month M-Audio Venom 49-Key Synthesizer and a Korg nanoPAD2 Slim-Line USB Pad Controller
Vampyrian-Trance: MAY 2013 UPDATE and explanation...
May 04, 2013, 11:31:am
I wanted to write this to let everyone know the problems I have been encountering for a while and to tell you I am sorry for letting it get the best of me and hold me back. I am so very ashamed as I remember when I first started out I was on fire like a leo should be about something he has such a deep passion for and then I let my perfection get the best of me and see all my shortcomings and failures. I need to realize I am still just starting out and man do wish I was not a damn perfectionist, not to mention being always in a rush so much you let things slide. How the hell does a perfectionist let things slide? I am so confused with my self anymore its not even funny. My biggest issue lately has been my depression getting the best of me at times and being so very unusually tired lately and of course finances and not being able to make every thing work out (I can't even make it though one damn month)...
I really need motivation bad and the main reason I got the motivation to start finally doing my music fully (I also had songs I wrote years ago on keyboard all of which I lost after the moves) is to help myself and to help others through the music deal as well as heal from all my many issues I have been facing seeing and noticing in myself as well as the rest of the world. That should be my motivation – especially now! I will find a way as I always do – just can't let it get me to continue slacking off as I really need to practice bad or I will never get good enough. I really need however while I am doing this to slow down as to make sure my music is done right (unlike before). As soon as I am finally awake I will start my journey again and hopefully never return to where I was at (letting it all get to me) ever again – Wish me luck...
I have to wait till the middle of the first week or so of March to use my Sony Acid Pro DAW as well as Beatcraft and I will also be getting a Multi-Effects Processor to add sounds to my micro Korg so hopefully we will be making some great songs that month and then some...
Don't forget to check out the recent Band Blog updates @ BAND BLOG & UPDATES as well as the founder behind Vampyrian-Trance JP Vanir's updates @ JP VANIR BLOG to keep up with all the band news and updates...
Have you ever told someone that you hate them?? or say you hate something?? or even been told you are hated?? What do you think it means?? everyone believes its a feeling all by itself, false. Hate is not a feeling, but rather a cover or hood, that covers up other feelings.. hate is a way to hide vulnerabilty in ones self. You and a girl or boy you've been with break up right? she caught you cheatinn or vice versa and the other was like .. i loved you and all that mess.. so you tell the cheater you hate them.. but what are the true feelings behind that?? your angry, sad, jealous, right?? i had to go through anger management counseling for over a year do to some consequental choices in my life.. my counselor taught me something no one else could.. i don't hate the world.. i am just ignorant of it.. i dont know what this world holds and it puts a multitude of feelings in me which i thought could be expressed by "hate"... no one can hate.. hate does not exsist but in our minds, but youll never know how to feel better unless you realize what needs to feel better.. your "hatred" doesnt need to be solved, but your sadness, fear, anxiety, depression or anger is what needs help.. focus on the real feelings and youll be better fit to live a real, true life without ignorance and hate..
It's 3 am in the morning... ever heard that song?? oldie by eminem, but thats besides the point.. there are certain times during a persons life that may truely express or tell who that person is.. noon.. lonely or surrounded by friends?? if ya wake up to 20 texts or got friends knocking on the door right when yuu wake up.. well that answers tht... midnight.. like the nightlife or not??? to tired to stay up, or the night hawk who wonders the streets and allys in the dark... although many of these times and show who a person is, i believe the most descriptive is 3 am.. 3 am is the time when everyone has been up at one point or another.. its also the point when the night hawks go to bed.. but once again thats besides the point.. 3 am is the time when if your awake you are probably laying down thinking.. alone.. where for once everyday in the world, everything is calm,, the bats are gone, the birds arent awake.. no sun, a moon and some stars.. no ones up yet but no ones been to bed either.. your own uninterrupted thoughts race through your mind like a bat out of hell.. some will laugh some will cry. some will feell warm or cold inside.. some may live many will die.. but everyone sees who they are on the inside.. they realize with out biased imputs among there peers or family or authority wwhat they truely believe, 3 am is time of actualization that no one but ourselves will ever understand.. no one will ever know what we realized at 3 am, but it doesnt matter.. why would it?? anything you learned will change you in the way you want.. some will be curious of this new change.. but it doesnt matter since for once you will know how you truely feel and believe.
3 am has passed once again. when it comes back tomorrow i will think again.
That's really beautifully written and insightful. I've never thought about it that way, but you're absolutely right. You really hit the nail on the head, for me at least at this particular time. Thanks for putting it into words.
Journal entry 2, Venting... This son of a bitch today decides to insult my friends?? are you serious mother fucker? i told that boy how its ganna go.. lil fvcker wanted to get in my face and i put him down.. grabbed him by hisw scronny little neck and put him on the ground! why do people think they can say or do whatever they want without consequence?? i didnt even know this fucker.. me and my friend sam were walking down the street and two guys come walking by .. one of them said "look at that bitch, id ramm that all damn night." now all i had tosay was "watch your mouth little prick" and the guy decides to act all big and bad.. he did apologize and the guys lil buddy didnt want anything to do with me.. i dont know why people got such big balls , but no damn brains.. if i were to have been dating my friend.. the guy woulda been in the hospital.. i wonder what went through the guys head, like really?? im 6'5" and can handle my own.. he musta ate paint chips as a kid or something, but anyway enough of that shit. sam laughed and got an apology from the guy so it ended pretty decent at least.. i had an adrenaline rush and couldnt stop shaking.. shit is great lol thats why i love fighting... i guess thats it for my Venting...
Within the loping synthetic gallop of Silent Auction’s music lie elements of impish fun dusted in pop sugar. But it’s not all sunshine and lollipops; this is a serious beat-centric strain with relentless drive, created by an arsenal of virtual instruments that jettison the music’s darker, heavier tones. It’s a beautiful dichotomy that the band used to call “future pop” once upon a time. Now it gets tagged as hybrid pop. Or you could just call it dance music, what with all its shameless shimmy and shake.
Labels notwithstanding, Silent Auction — Brendan Bulson (drums), Jason Barbero (vocals, programming, keyboards), and Terri Barbero (vocals, keys) — in some ways is a band out of tomorrow, given its eclectic mix. And there isn’t a booty at rest on the dance floor when this Rochester trio is on stage.
Jason started the group as a project with Jason Rowe back in 1997. The duo was deeply influenced by heavy industrial and heavy rock like Wumpscut, Haujobb, and Marilyn Manson.....For the rest of the article click the link http://roccitynews.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/music-profile-silent-auction/
My First journal .. what should i write, sitting in my dark room with only a single light.. am i living life right? drinking till i pass out or staying up all night?? i live in fright.. scared of the times scared of the days never knowing who i will decide to hate today.. it doesnt matter.. i wonder how that chick i dated a few months ago is doing?? probably good,, trick couldnt stop screwing, besides the point, i could care less there are many women id love to be with. i try and articulate or organize my thoughts, my mind gets so scrambled i begin to ramble a lot.. the other night i was walking, just walking alone.. didnt feel like driving, just walking alone down a dirt path kicking around a lot of stones.. went through the woods to a river i know, we refer to it as "shit creek" for where the sewage flows. i sat on the bridge lost in my thoughts 3 am rolled by and i heard some shots.. i was like shit, fuck this im out! then this man in the moonlight falls to the ground.. i ran and ran.. i never looked back.. ive had guns to my head before, and i couldnt go back.. got home and didnt sleep didnt even call the police.. just layed there looking at my ceiling to think.. soon i saw the reports but i havent gone back, i dont know if its fright or lack of caring on my part?? was it all a dream i dont renember anymore.. some of the nights a blurr, scratches here and there, the man look like my dad but hes been dead for a year?? i dont know what to believe, but ill overlook it for now.. other business for my mind to take on now.. im tired, im fine,, not so many thoughts in my mind, a few friends talking me upp helping time fly by.. you may think im nuttz or crazy for all this, but im an average person only holding a few mysteries within.. have a desent life just maybe think to much but its how i do, im not depressed or scared ive been through the worst anyone can endure.. these are my thoughts, my wickked mind, leave a comment if ya think its needed this time.. my first journal.. thanks for reading.
I don't ind any point in writine journals cause i never get a reply.. but i'm more relaxed today cause i found out something that makes so much since about what has happened my entire and why it's happened.. I just hope me and my family can get rid of it.
Mood: Relaxed Music: Senses Fail - Rum Is For Drinking Not For Burning
I never think anyone is insane, and yes you can feel free to talk to me whenever you need to. I believe in it cause i'm living it and have been my whole life.
From what ive seen im either psychotic and seeing shit that isnt real or ive had something fucking with me for years. but everyone who comes near me sees what i see and hears what i do so i know it cant just be me. ya know? if other people witness it its gotta be real yeah?
yes i agree. i witness it as well, i just saw it 5 min ago and could've sworn it was my friend walking by 5 feet in front of me.. til it disappeared and he walked around the corner..
