If I'm ever asked again "where do I dream of living?", I'll say - in the Internet. Sometimes, it can give your life more meaning and happiness than this huge world around you.
Me and my friend Inna watched Mexican TV series a few days ago. Damn, I find myself loving Spanish.... It sounds so beautiful and passionate so I would be madly happy if somebody helps me with it. I only started learning how to read in Spanish. I even tried to sing the songs by III Nino and Papa Roach- Cucatrices( scars Spanish version). I'd love to make some friends from Spain cuz I'll come to Spain in the summer^.^
Sometimes I just want to run away from here... somewhere, where no one and nothing exists … just silence, broken by the wind from the Atlantic; to be there, where people’s cynicism and contempt haven’t reached yet one special place, where I could hide myself away and keep myself safe ; where time is not measured in minutes, and it flows slowly dissolving, following the fire sunset ... Just to hover in free flight of the thoughts, and my shadow - is my faithful companion on the road "to nowhere" ...
Alexander-Angelface: Oh I see..I just came back from my English courses 35 min ago. The easiest way is to call on skype:3 Deathsswagg239: Heyyyy, how ya doing?^^
I thought I had found my way.. but I’ve mistaken...I stumbled and fell ...and time goes by….. my songs full of pain and misery..my poems full of sadness… It’s not the way I used to be and feel. My thoughts hurt me and I always wanna die.... I unlearned to dream as I dreamed before .I was happy last year... and today I’ll fall asleep and open my eyes to see sunshine tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will bring good news to me and tomorrow the skies will be so blue that I’ve never seen before. And I will turn on my laptop and start making music ,mixing drum tracks ..yea like before. I’ll make a tea and eat yummy white chocolate.. no no… I’ll make tea party with my friends and we all will laugh, as we did before. Omg I miss the time when music made me happy when I talked to people and they make me happy…and today I'll fall asleep to wake up a happy girl tomorrow…I wanna be a girl, who composes music and makes people smile…dreamful, cheerful and carefree as I was….tho sometimes I’ll be sad, hearing the rain and remembering memories but I’ll will smile, remembering them cuz in spite of all troubles that I had my life was awesome anyway… tomorrow… I'll wake up to become such a person that I used to be and realize that this world is so amazing…wish my tomorrow came faster.
I'm crushed and almost dead morally. So I'll let the music take control. It's the only thing that keeps me alive.
I'm gonna wander among Moscow streets. I'll go to underground. If parents give me money, I'll buy a ticket to New York. I hope... I'll buy it anyway. Tho I find myself wasting my time..................................
Here's heavy rain... The night... The darkness in my room and good acoustics... I guess I always loved such a time as this. It's really good time to play guitar and sing - to be all alone with my deep sadness...
Has anybody ever seen angels?... I guess I’m in love with an angel… I feel flocks of butterflies in my heart… They awake every single morning… And my love purer than snowflakes in the end of December… hotter than sun and deeper than ocean… I’d get a star for him from sky and I’d walk millions of miles just to see his smile for a little while… I wanna keep him safe and happy… take all his pain sadness depressions away …say that everything is gonna be okay when he gives up on his life… I’ll keep my promise that I would never leave him … Cross my heart and hope to die- every word from my mouth is truth… People can laugh behind my back… All people are just people… but I’m gonna do what I wanna do- no matter what anybody says…This world doesn’t matter… I have my own world… I’m gonna love him forever with all my russian heart ... I’ll love faithfully and purely to the last breath in my lungs… to the last sound in my voice… to the last beat of my heart in my chest and if my strength becomes weak I wish I could die in his arms... To know... that in the end… he realized that I loved him…
sorry guys I really dont wanna talk to anyone atleast today cuz Im down and exhausted...parents yelled at me all day...life is going really bad...I just need to cry for alittle time...cuz theres so much pain in me..all this shit and despair make me think about suicide...well Im gonna download some presets and vst plugins for programm and listen to my favourite bands..... I hope I would find my consolation in music ..bye.................
suicide is not the answer April,I used to think the same until I made a pledge to myself.I thought "maybe if I live my life, then that would be like suicide because life is painful but there will also be good times to cope with the pain." and so here I am now (:
happy birthday XD
dont be sad
