This is the hardest journal I'll have ever posted but I'm sorry to say that I'll be leaving vampirefreaks and deleting my profile at the end of the week.
So much has changed in my life over the past (nearly six!) years since I joined, and I can honestly say I wouldn't be where I am without this site. The people here have gotten me through so much, and quite literally saved my life at one stage. Be is my health, the hell I went through with Tom, or the small things - it is the people on here who kept me going.
Now my life is taking a new step, and although I'm leaving it isn't a bad thing at all.
University is amazing, and I have so much going on there. I'm applying to do my masters and hopefully within another five years will be teaching at a university. The thought is mind boggling to me, but also incredible! I have my faith now, which is keeping me strong and showing me a world I never new existed. I'm living by myself, and it might be scary as hell but it also fucking rocks!
So much has changed, but this site never did.
Love to everyone on my friends list and who I am in cults with. I'm going to miss this site so fucking much, but most importantly I am going to miss the people on it.
And as for my many, many roleplay buddies... Our ships shall never sink, espeically as I have four roleplay blogs on Tumblr! Please follow me and lets do some plots. I've got a lot of characters on there and don't want to loose contact with anyone I've been writing with over the past few years.
I'm Not Good at Goobyes, but Goodbye VF...
October 30, 2014, 12:03:am
I'm so sorry Cass, but I'm not gonna stay! I don't have the time, and I just... I dunno. I'm not fed up with the site but I don't need it anymore. It's been a crutch for too long. I love the people on here, and that is why I posted this, to make sure I can keep in contact with everyone. But my mind is made up honey <3 I am sure it is a gorgeous banner though and you should seriously add me on Facebook <3And I love you too Michi xoxoxoxox
There is this gorgeous online store called Delilah Dust...
...And they are offering a special discount of 50% off!
((Use the code 'clearance' if anybody actually buys anything))
I managed to get five gorgeous necklaces for £30.
I am so happy as I've wanted some of these for a long time.
Just sold my camera so used some of that money.
Going to hopefully bless these (well four of them) when I next go to Glastonbury.
Should be doing a run there around November.
ie. When me and Torie run out of candles!
Strong stone you see all the time in paganism. It's for protection and healing, which links closely in to my personal health problems but also within my divination. It traditionally has ties to protection from drunkenness as well, and is meant to help one stay sober. Although I don't drink I'm glad I'll have something there because of the pain killer addiction. Just that extra bit of strength! This is also for the element air. Although I am a fire element air is who I aspire to be, and I see myself as a cross between the two. Both are represented on my alter so couldn't be more pleased to have the necklace as well!
Geode Slice Necklace With Citrine Point
For warmth, kindness, positive energy, and also with links to luck and personal power. Citrine is a powerful stone and love the way they've displayed it here, I had to Another air element stone as well (:
No meaning or reason behind this one, it is just bloody gorgeous!!!
Crystal Quartz Point
Clear Quartz is a master healer crystal, and may be used for any condition - HELLO FIBRO AND CFS! It also has ties to emotional healing, as a deep soul cleanser. I personal already have a cluster I keep atop my oracle cards to keep them pure and protected, filled with positive energy, but wanted one i can carry with me too. Linked to all elements, so a really good all round stone!
"Stone of Complete Composure & Balance" - Ward off negative energies, very much a purifying stone. Grounding stone, good for divination as well as ritual work. It should also help with my lovely panic attacks that seem to be happening more and more. Relating to health it is linked to physicality and musculature (yey!). It is also black, so you know - utterly gorgeous!!
Sany i was so tempted by the head chains but no center parting so wearing one is so hard you'd suit them missy!! <3Chloe I think I would have just gone crazy there! Sounds amazing you lucky thing!!Jazzy i expect a lot of photographs of what you buy I really want the arrow head necklace but just couldn't justify it this time as I got most of these for my faith.Crystal I didn't used to, but got in to it recently. Since sleeping with certain stones next to me my nightmares have gone down. I have no explanation but honestly I'm a believer now And that watermelon tourmaline is divine AJ you'll have to apologize to your mom for me
The amethyst is so pretty, you know, its my favorite. I will probably use this site to see if I can find another amethyst stone. I had one once, left it at my 'boifriends' house...who happened to live in another state. He never mailed it back because I broke up with him fieldmouse, you are more than welcome to join thepaganpath or WhatHappenedToTheMagic. I'm staff in both. WH2TM is an older pagan cult we're trying to bring back to life and thepaganpath was the only active pagan cult on VF, that I know of, this year. Sorry for promoting in your journal, Alexa. Hope you don't mind.
Okay, so that is a big fat lie.
I can't even walk properly, let alone rode a bike!
But for mom's birthday we got her a gorgeous bike.
She just wanted something pretty she could potter around the village one...
...And I know she is going to love it!
However we wanted it to be a surpise, and it is hard to hide a bike.
So dad put me in charge of wrapping it.
I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself!
I hid every last inch of this beauty.
None was left on show, all was covered.
Mom is never going to be able to guess what we got her!
She is going to be sooo shocked when she unwraps it!
In the continuation of Alexa attempting graphics...
August 28, 2014, 07:45:pm
I am so glad you love them honey!! I feel a bit guilty for just entering your gallery and taking our photos you're just too damn gorgeous for your own good!!!And thank you Beeline <3 I really appreciate that!!
Stolen from Michi, who stole it from Salt I believe...
Basically this is doing the rounds and it's fun!
So go on, you know you want to!
Lie to me:
Sing with me:
Dance with me:
Grind with me:
Cuddle with me:
Let me make a move on you:
Make a move on me:
Watch a movie with me:
Get me a B-day gift:
Let me borrow your car:
Be there for me:
Buy me a drink:
Bring me around your friends:
Give me a massage:
Take me to the club:
Go to sleep with me:
Drink kool-aid with me:
Take advantage of me:
Hangout with me:
Take care of me if I wasn't feeling good:
Hold hands with me:
Do something incredibly sweet for me:
Give me a lap dance:
Tell me you love me:
What would you do if you woke up next to me:
I was going through my journal looking at all my old drabbles and I found this one! It is making me miss Clara which I never thought I would. Oh my poor, poor cyborg. I forgot how much of myself was in her - which is probably why I killed her off to be honest.
I'm a mean, mean mun...
Inevitable - I Should Probably Fix The Mistakes In this...
Clara wasn't paying attention to what she was doing. She fiddled almost blindly around with the machine that cleaned the different fuels and liquids that circulated the robotic parts of her body. There was a full bottle of whiskey in her human system, along with the red wine she had drank earlier, not to mention the fact she simply was not interested in what she was doing. It become old very quickly having to clean her insides on a daily basis, for five hours unable to do anything while everything was taken from her and purified. It was physically exhausting, impossible to even read as she lay there all but passed out as her life force was taken from her before being forced back in again.
Working away on the machine Clara found her movements to be clumsy as she removed valves and siphoned off the gas and liquid compounds within. Drinking was daily for her but not on nights where she was working on the most important thing she owned. Without this machine she couldn't remain alive, it kept her parts working which in turn kept her nervous system from shutting down communications with her brain. Deep down she knew she should work on it in the morning, just face one more day at work of feeling run down before heading home to cleanse. But she had grown even more stubborn since she first came to Lantea, the life she currently led being nothing compared to the one she had lost those two years ago. Clara bit down on the end of her cigarette as she worked, frustration coming to the surface as she body refused to communicate properly with itself.
The smoking itself was a small act of rebellion for her, though to what she didn't know. It was a pleasure, a pointless one, and in this instant a stupid one. Every liquid she was working with was flammable, one slight mistake or one ember sparking off and her whole apartment would be lost. If she had done the job sooner, changed over the compounds within the machine that purified her body the previous day or just earlier in the day, she wouldn't have to be there struggling as her hands didn't work. It would have been a miracle if she could have held a pen properly in that moment, let alone successfully changing the gas and liquid like she was trying to do.
She hadn't been looking after herself like she should have been and had drank to much too quickly. Clara saw what was going to happen before it did, yet in the moment did nothing to stop it. She could have reached out a hand to stop the bottle from spilling it's contents all over the floor. She could have clenched her teeth in frustration rather than swore allowed. She could have tried to catch the cigarette as it fell from her mouth. Clara did none on this, she was so tired of everything she had been through and the life she led. It felt like more effort to stop the inevitable from happening than to allow it to happen. She watched in the same detached way she watched everything as her hand knocked over the bottle causing the pungent liquid to spill over the floor. It spread quickly, the liquid hitting her knees and spilling around the other canisters who used for the gas. "Fuck." She breathed, allowing the word to spill from her lips causing the cigarette to fall into the pool of liquid that has spread throughout her apartment.
There was no tunnel with a bright light at the end. No heavenly angels to sing her into the afterlife. Clara's life did not flash before her eyes as time slowed down around her. All she had known was the rush of noise, a blinding white hot pain that encircled her whole body and then nothingness. An endless darkness consumed her as in seconds it was over and Clara was no more.
So, in one of my favourite cults - Boss - we have a lot of fun in the contest threads! So much fun I thought I would share my two favourite entries with you guys! It is nice to be silly, to have a laugh with people, and not take this website so seriously all the time. As my entries show!
Anyways, here is me taking the piss
Best With Friends
I couldn't resist
Do you like my fake sex face at the end? Can't believe I made this BUT I REGRET NOTHING!!!
Oh, and do you like my new boyfriend? I had to take the piss with that entry - single Alexa is single again and not exactly enjoying it *sighs* also, I've worked out how to make gifs. YEY!!!
Oh, and you should all totally check out Boss - just saying!
So they aren't perfect, by any means, but following all the amazing advice and tips I was given following my status update I have finally made my own tags! And they might not be the best, but I am so proud of them it is stupid.
Found a lovely little flat in Falmouth...
...WHICH MEANS I AM NO LONGER HOMELESS!!
It is right at the center of town.
You can check it out here: http://www.digscornwall.co.uk/index.php?page=29
But my bedroom is about twice the size of that example
Our kitchen/balcony has a perfect view over the entire harbor.
Which means I can wake up to coffee, a cigarette, and a gorgeous view every morning!
We are also next to my favourite art gallery and bar <3
Basically it is utterly perfect!
I don't know who I'm going to be living with...
...Aside from the fact that out of five rooms in the flat three are already taken by boys!
THANK GOD THERE WILL BE MORE GUYS THAN GIRLS THIS YEAR IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
SO FUCKING HAPPY!
HOPEFULLY LESS DRAMA!
Though it also means less girls in their underwear
Oh, and you can check out my sexy view in this
AND SEE THE BEACH I FREQUENT!
Welcome to Falmouth, bitches - we have special storage for your surfboard!
....I am fucked.
We found a place, we lost that place.
We found a place, we lost that place.
We found a place, we lost that place.
And now we is me and I'm looking along.
Time to go buy fags and cry over having nowhere to live.
And then house hunting...
...I am so fed up of this shit.
SO! Here is my official opinions on this list (not that anybody cares but this is taking my back to when my bedroom walls were a shrine to Kerrang! so let me just enjoy this moment):
1. JOEL MADDEN WILL ALWAYS BE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. GC LUVR 4 LYF (yes, I am still a 14 year old emo girl at heart, no this will never change).
2. Mark Hoppus... Oh dear, oh dear... Is it bad I never found him attractive? EVER.
3. Pete Wentz has only gotten more attractive with age. I miss his posters - why did I ever grow up and get rid of them?! So sad
4. Deryck Whibley... No. Just no. Love your music but... No. Just no. No. No. ...No.
5. Dexter Holland doesn't seem to have aged... Interesting... Hmmmm...
6. TRAVIS BARKER HAS ONLY GOTTEN SEXIER WITH AGE. Dat neck tho ON NOM NOM.
7. Billie Joe Armstrong will always have a special place in my heart. I blame Kerrang! entirely.... Also his sexy eyeliner.
8. Jordan Pundik actually got attractive - when then thunk did this happen?!?! Bloody hell I wouldn't pick my friends over you ....I should be banned from the internet for that one... Sorry....
9. Adam Lazzara still sexy, though quite frankly needs a hair cut.
10. PATRICK STUMP BECAME THE HOT ONE. HOW? WHEN? HOW? WHEN? HOW? WHEN? HOW? WHAT? HOW? WHY? HOW? WHEN? HOW?
11. Pierre Bouvier... Better, this is okay. Facial hair suits you good sir! Yes, impressed.
12. Jimmy Adkins got rid of his mono-brow! Rejoice!
13. And finally, Andrew Ross McMahon - HE GREW UP AND DOESN'T LOOK 13 ANYMORE! Admittedly he looks like an extra from Gossip Girl rather than actually being in a pretty decent punk-pop-rock-princess band but still... His smile is still cute
I FEEL LIKE THE 14 YEAR OLD EMO ME WOULD BE HAPPY WITH ALL THIS. Ahhhh I am so going to put on Sk8r Rock while I clean the kitchen tonight... OH YES.
...That you've been a cunt to one of your best friends.
So you call them to apologize at 2:30am 'cus that is clearly sensible.
Only to wake them up when they've been asleep and for them to tell you it is all in your head.
That you're not a cunt or a twat and they love you and there is nothing to forgive.
I AM SUCH A WORRISOME IDIOT SOMETIMES AND SERIOUSLY NEED SOME HELP.