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Lady_Wednesday666's Friends' Journals

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dark_one_
Thank you my friends.
February 01, 2016, 02:03:am
(This is a copy and paste from my status on facebook)

Well it took a good kick in the balls, but I think I've realized how bad my depression really is. I have fought it valiantly for years, but i just seen how much damage it has done to those I care about and in turn how much damage it has done to me.

Earlier today (Sun Jan 31st 2016) I was not planning on getting counselling for this. In fact I told the person I care about most in the world that Councillors could do nothing for me because I have talked to Councillors before and they seen they could reason with me (which is true).
But due to the fact it pushed the love of my life away and caused her to give up on me and her true love for me... I think it is official, I need some serious help!

If I have ever bothered anyone here before I must apologize for it and thank all of you for staying in my life.

It's funny though, even if we know we have a problem, we never truly realize how much damage we are doing till it is to late. I'm surprised no one has ever tried to slap some sense into me. I definitely deserved and needed it lol.

Well i'm going back to being a goof troop. For now anyway. And thanks again to all of you for being so awesome! =P

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FlamesOfIceOfficial
Frustration
January 27, 2016, 05:22:pm
I am feeling quite a bit of frustration at the moment. I've tried repeatedly to work on the "Rise + Fall" album but nothing seems to be coming out right. I'm not sure I've just been too stressed out or just not in the right frame of mind, but it's not working out. Please know that I am trying to get this album finished for all of you but I don't want to force it and give you something half-assed either. I'm hoping things will turn around soon and I can get this done as quickly as possible.

~Stricken

(5) |


wolfspirit

[reply]
Frustration
January 27, 2016, 06:50:pm
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All good things come to those who wait. Don't try so hard and before you know it it'll just happen. Good luck hugs

Trappernicus

[reply]
Frustration
January 28, 2016, 05:59:am
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Hang in there/ The doifference between someone who succeeds and someone who doesn't is the level of persistance they each have.

Matsuda14

[reply]
Frustration
January 28, 2016, 12:55:pm
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Take your time to relax and not feel stressed out, note that your music will sound awesome in the end.

EMZTRadioPodcast666

[reply]
Frustration
February 01, 2016, 02:31:am
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it's ok, don't get too frustrated with it.. the music will come if you don't force it..

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4 comments


LizZiePop
my sister
December 22, 2015, 02:13:am
I want you I don't want to say stop visiting me but then ill never get anything from you if only I could visit you.........stay with you I want you back please I see you and you are so happy and beautiful......if I die I will be like that too

(2) |


MsHarleyQuinn

[reply]
my sister
December 26, 2015, 04:57:am
(1) |
You are beautiful

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1 comment


FlamesOfIceOfficial
An Apology To You
December 11, 2015, 07:10:am
If I had the time I would personalize an apology for each of you with your own email, but as it is I am writing this while scarfing down some Eggos and Coffee before I go back to work.
I know that things have been extremely quiet lately and I'm sorry for that. Because of the holidays I am working 6 (sometimes 7) days a week and 12-16 hour days. I literally come home, shower, eat, sleep and do it again. Once things calm down in January I will be getting back to work on the new album.
I'll update when I can, promise.
~Stricken

(8) |

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Cyberaktiv
Bleed for you
November 29, 2015, 10:36:pm
The wind blows cold outside
And the darkness can not hide
And sorrow is my only friend

And I can't believe you're gone
And I'll try my best to move on
But, my heart belongs to you...

To you...

It all seems so surreal
And I try my best to feel
So numb for all the pain

Can you hear my heart break
How much more can I take
I miss your hand in mine

And I sit here all alone
In this cold and empty home
I need you here with me

And since you've gone away
I miss you every day
And the tears they fall like the rain

I wish that you were here
To wipe away all my tears
To hold me close at night
And never leave my side
I look up to the sky
And I watch the angels cry
See me bleeding out inside
And I only bleed for you

And I sit here all alone
In this cold and empty home
I need you here with me

And since you've gone away
I miss you every day
And the tears they fall like the rain

And I bleed....

I wish that you were here
To wipe away all my tears
To hold me close at night
And never leave my side
I look up to the sky
And I watch the angels cry
See me bleeding out inside
And I only bleed for you

Music: Doomsday refreshment committee - I only bleed for you

(3) |


MedicineMan

[online]
[reply]
Bleed for you
November 30, 2015, 01:59:pm
(1) |
love the band X__X

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Bleed for you
November 30, 2015, 02:02:pm
(1) |
Same here man. I actually found this song on another VF users profile only a month after joining VF in August of 2011 and Ive loved them ever since. Not sure what they're up to these days.

MedicineMan

[online]
[reply]
Bleed for you
November 30, 2015, 02:03:pm
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I discovered the band when i first joined ages ago.

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Bleed for you
November 30, 2015, 02:22:pm
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Well I am glad that we both did. I would love to see them if theyre still playing. All I know is that they are from Florida

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4 comments


Cyberaktiv
The hole
November 29, 2015, 07:26:pm
My whole world stopped spinning without you
The heavens lay dead in the sky
I cried to the angels to bring you home to me
But that is not be destined to be in this life

Now I'm lost and alone
And only you can make me whole
I'm broken and alone
With just this gaping hole in my soul

I dream of nights lasting forever
I still taste our last kiss goodbye
And that moment eternity ended at least for me
And now I no longer belong in this life

Now I'm lost and alone
And only you can make me whole
I'm broken and alone
With just this gaping hole in my soul

I tried to forget you the memories won't fade
I reached out to touch you through miles and through days
But sometimes I swear I can hear you call my name
And still the emptiness won't fade

I'm trying to keep me together
But slowly I'm falling apart
I can't breathe there's no life inside me
I can't go on living with this broken heart

I'm lost and alone
And only you can make me whole
I'm broken and alone
With just this gaping hole
I'm broken and alone
You've left this gaping hole in my soul
(In my soul)
(In my soul)

Music: The Dreaming - Hole

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LizZiePop
so confused
November 18, 2015, 12:53:am

and this is why people shouldnt be behind the pulpit if they dont know anything and why its is so hard to believe these "profound christians" because some say this and some say this and then some say read the bible it will tell you what to believe ok well i dont agree with what the bible says but because of that should i die? does that mean im sinful? of course it does but i thought we were all sinful? and they say "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” John 7:24 how about this LEAVE THE JUDGING TO "GOD" they also say "We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." BROTHERS are not just your fellow christian neighbors that you see at the grocery store and say "Bless you" as you leave NO it is EVERYONE! If i dont believe in "God" then i should go to a forever suffering hell? even though i love everyone i live my life everyday trying to better myself and trying to help others but because i dont go to church, pray over my food and try to change people to "the christian way" but are you changing people to the "christian way" for yourself or for god? i think most people say "God bless you" so they feel more christian no because they are trying to spread "the word" they say follow the bible: ARE WE SUPPOSE TO FOLLOW THIS?? :1 samual 15:2-3Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘I have noted what Amalek did to Israel in opposing them on the way when they came up out of Egypt. Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’” I am so confused and i dont know what to believe anymore

(1) |

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Cyberaktiv
Brutal
November 13, 2015, 02:10:am
I don't fit in anywhere. Un loved. Un desired. Un wanted. Un important. I can see now, all odds are against me. I only exist for other people's benefit and amusement. Not a day goes by where I'm free from heartache or pain. Constant suffering, torment, agony and punishment. Left to deal with it and to try and figure it out all by myself.

In reality, I died months ago, yet I'm still breathing.

When the physical end comes,,, I'll be alone. I'll have only existed for a moment in time.

Music: Reliquary - Dusk Falls

(1) |

last 5 of 7 comments:

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Brutal
November 13, 2015, 04:55:pm
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It's a horrible feeling that's all I know. I'm naturally very compassionate and it even saddens me, knowing that others experience the same. :/

Liljeannie15

[online]
[reply]
Brutal
November 14, 2015, 02:41:am
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I haven't eaten or slept in days and when I try to eat I get sick to my stomach I hate this horrible feeling of Betrayal, and heartbreak caused by my scarecrow for years of unfaithfulness behind my back. Now everyone in his family hates me but they don't believe a word I say when he cheats, abuses, lie, and kills me inside that I have no family of my own to turn to or a caring person who would listen to me

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Brutal
November 14, 2015, 03:27:am
(1) |
I know my situation isnt as bad as yours of course, but I know all about not being able to eat and getting sick when we experience such traumatic incidents. It truly saddens me that this happened to you, and I feel bad that cant even do anything about it. I really am sorry that all that happened, and you dont deserve to be treated that way. Not by him, or his family and its despicable. :-(

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Brutal
November 14, 2015, 07:17:pm
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Thank you my friend. I sincerely appreciate it.

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Brutal
November 15, 2015, 01:27:pm
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Thank you my friend. I wish you the same.

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7 comments


Cyberaktiv
Love tore us apart
November 11, 2015, 02:20:am
So, I was randomly asked a question from another social site. Just thought I would share.


Nov 11, 2015
Hello, How are you?
If you could go back to any year/decade/century, when would it be and why?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hello. I wish I could say that I was doing better. Thank you for asking though. I hope all is well with you.

That is an interesting but complex question at the same time, yet my answer is not so simple.

Let me first say that initially, I would have first picked to either go back to 1999 so that I could spend time with my parents before they both passed away less than a year apart, OR, go back to the Middle ages because I have always loved anything to do with the Renaissance period. Castles, Armor, Pubs, Slaying Dragons(Joking), Adventures etc.

I would give up both the choices above, just to be able to go back to January of this year... Simply because.... I fell madly in love with a girl that befriended me on Facebook, who unfortunately lived 4 states away from me. I flew her out here to be with me in January. That was the happiest time in my entire life. Sadly, things went awry, and I messed up somewhere along the way, which brought forth our demise, thereby causing me to lose the girl I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

It was then on June 3rd, that she flew back to her home state never to return again and decided shortly afterwards that she no longer wanted to be in my life.

If I could go back, then I would be able to relive it all over again, and more importantly, so that I could make the right decisions this time, and not cause her to want to leave. So in conclusion, that is how deep my love was/is for her. So that would be my answer.

Cyber...

Mood: Non Existent
Music: The Birthday Massacre - Red Stars

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Cyberaktiv
Alone
September 28, 2015, 03:19:am
So I haven't done these entries in a while.



Being stuck at home alone with nothing to do, has been depressing me severely, so I felt like going to the coves down at the beach today. It just didn't feel right being there by myself, looking at everyone else with their cute girlfriends in bikinis, or families that were there. I was like the only person there by myself. I felt like such an outcast sitting there all alone.


It was depressing seeing other couples kissing, or holding hands or out splashing about in the water having fun and yeah, it made me feel even more bitter than I already am, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at these guys with their girlfriends in thong bikinis, but it's whatever. It just makes me realize how unattractive, undesirable and insignificant I feel lately.


Sigh....

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kingabsurd

[reply]
Alone
September 28, 2015, 03:24:am
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Probably one of the most relatable journal entries I have found on here so far... I don't even bother to go out because I know I will see stuff that will make me feel like utter shit. It does get depressing sitting in a room all day, yes, but it's better than having to stand all alone watching couples and friends have the time of their lives.

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Alone
September 28, 2015, 03:30:am
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I stopped posting after I realized VF deleted all my poems that was getting a lot of recognition. But yeah, I hear ya on that. It's like we're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't. Geez. Cant win either way.
vampire-bitch-666
[reply]
Alone
November 03, 2015, 10:22:am
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Hey you are desirable and you are wanted if i were near you i would defiantly hang with u get to know you then if we really worked out i would most likely date you me and my now ex are no longer together.

Cyberaktiv

[reply]
Alone
November 03, 2015, 09:14:pm
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Thank you Vampire. I appreciate the kind words.
vampire-bitch-666
[reply]
Alone
November 03, 2015, 09:26:pm
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Your welcome i do mean it.

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