So today I lost a fan who said he was going to spread word around that I was a fake and a piece of shit? Why? Cause he asked me if I wanted to come to Denver and do some coke a d I told him I don't do drugs. Apparently not doing drugs makes you a fake. Really?!?!
I present the question to you... Is it important to you if a musician does drugs or not?
So, I now have all the music up for sale right here on VF!!! Most importantly, it's CHEAP!!! Both of the full length albums are only $5 each and the EP is only $3.50!!!
Links can be found here or you can go to the profile page and just click on the album you want to check out/buy.
1. UNATTENDED CHILDREN!!!! Do not think that it is ok to let your 7 year old walk around with your 3 year old unattended.
2. why do you let your kids walk around with no shoes in public
I will admit that I go on walks without shoes and I have been in the car going through the drive through at McDonalds with no shoes but going to the fair with no shoes.... just no.
3. coming to a game with your 800 children and wanting each of them to have 5 turns each or until they all get big prizes
4. putting up with SASS
5. working lol
So, I commented on a girl's picture today because she was exposing pervs on the site. Which I enjoy seeing people do, however several hours later. I get an inbox, not used to getting them so I checked it out.
Some guy who commented on pictures of the same girl, wrote to me saying "Idk y she is so negitive to ppl who actuly try and help her" Then lists her name. Personally, I found that creepy, like cyber stalker creepy. I mean, why the hell would you write to someone who commented on ONE picture, commending a girl for exposing perverts? O.o
She most likely found him creepy or something, and I can see why. It's kind of really a shame people feel the need to do that to other users just because they comment on the same pictures.
A. How long were you together?
B. Short explanation
C. What reason they gave you when they broke upp
D. My response
A. 1 year and 4 months
B. I was cutting frequently
C. 2 things that he said:
"I want to do things that I cant do while having a girlfriend."
"I don't care if you cut yourself anymore, you only tell me that you cut so that I wont leave."
D. "...." Has a "Carrie(sp?) Moment" Meaning I cry in the bathroom/ kills people with my eyes lol
A. 10 months
B. Best boyfriend that I ever had of my exes (so not including my current bf)
I was starting to be a little rebellious and wanting to try new things but not actually do them.
C. "We clash"
D. "we were together for almost a fucking year and you just decide that we clash????"
A. 1 months
B. was rebellious one time
C. "that is all my exes did and I wanted to get away from that so I thought you would be the last person to do it."
D. "so your breaking upp with me because I was rebellious by smoking a cigarette one time AND your telling me the only reason you went out with me was because you thought that I would never do that??"
A. 1 month
B. he was a pot head
C. "I don't want to drag you down in my issues"
D. simply: "wtf? really?"
Mood: Ha! shows how much you know about me Music: Read it and WEAP!
"My Break Upps Where They Broke Upp With Me"
October 18, 2014, 08:26:pm
I've honestly been the heartbreaker and they're the ones that ask me out so I guess I leave them brokenhearted. I almost once let the guy break up with me but I did the honors and dumped him over text :/ I'm a heartbreaker which sums it all up
That's right freaks, it's the middle of the month which means it's time to start the next Fan of the Month contest. What could you win? Your picture in the "Fan of the Month" picture folder, shit tons of street cred and 1 month of premium service (paid for by me).
How do you enter? Too easy.
1. Add me to your bands list
2. Add at least one of my songs to your player on your page
3. Comment here or send me a message telling me you've done 1 and 2 so I can verify
You're entered. It's that easy to get premium for a month!!! So, what are you waiting for? Get on it!
One year ago I was weak for the last time
One year ago I blamed myself and marred myself for the last time
One year ago I grabbed the blade for the last time
for the last time was not the first either ....Let me tell you my story
If you have read my "Wishes" Journal entry you would know that I lost my sister before I was born
(so read that to understand where I am coming from)
I blamed myself for everything I felt that I needed to protect everyone from everything so that the wouldn't feel the pain that I felt. When a shield protects you you never think about how the shield feels when it takes the hit for you, you never think of that. and that is how my friends treated me in high school I thought that I had the best of friends until senior year I found out that it was all lies. The friends that I had talked about how I talked too much about my anxiety and frankly if someone talks about something a lot it is because it means a lot to them so instead of blaming them for talking about it try helping them to not give a reason not to talk about it. Its a shame that your "true friends" will talk behind your back desert you and finally tell you that the reason everyone hates you is because of a mental disorder(that all your friends had in common) MAYBE I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT MAYBE THAT WAS MY ONLY WAY TO VENT! (I wasn't on the medication that im on now) ow I deal with it better.
But back to why I blame myself for everything, ok this is really hard to talk about but, when I was younger my mother would take my brother and I to the YMCA and she would work out and I would go into the CAGE for older kids and my brother would go into the Daycare.... we loved it ....but one day my brother started resisting going there He would cry and grab ahold of me and refused to let go saying "sissy don't make me go in there" and I being a selfish child at my age of time would push him off and tell him to go into the daycare because I didn't want to stop going because I loved the YMCA....A few years later my mother was watching the news.... There had been a report of child molestation at the YMCA and had been reported that it had happened recently and the news report told everyone that if they had been to the YMCA in the past few years to sit there children down and ask them if they had this happen to them. My mother called in my brother and asked him I wasn't there so idk what happened. When my mother called me in she sat me down and asked me if anyone had ever touched me in a weird manner. I said no and she told me after she stopped crying that my brother was molested and that we will be going to court. I don't remember exactly what happened because it was a traumatic experience for my family, But basically the man that molested my brother would molest children that couldn't talk so that they couldn't testify but my brother was the oldest of the 7 that went to court it had been years since my brother had last seen his molester and when they asked him in court to identify if the person was in the room or not my brother just said no without even looking (he was 7 years old in court maybe im not too sure but he was pretty young) of course the molester was there and in the end.... he was found not guilty. And because I pushed my brother back into the arms of danger and told him to not be a baby and because justice was not served I will ALWAYS blame myself for the rest of mylife. I am his older sister I am suppose to protect him I was suppose to protect him to make sure nothing bad happened. and that is what caused me to start looking after people more than more than myself. and soon after that the more I thought about it I blamed myself even more for everything every little thing was my fault in my mind and it made my anxiety even worse (ive had anxiety since as long as I can remember) so that is why I started cutting
Middle school was the worst I ate in the bathroom and my best friend was my orchestra teacher nuff said.
for 2 wholes years no one new then I finally told my "friends" at the time and then a year later I told my mother and then two years later I told my father and brother.
The worst of it I would say would be Junior year My friends started abandoning me and keeping things from me. Messages got shorter and longer apart. sleepovers never happened. phone calls never returned. even blocked and messaged publicly on fb saying a huge paragraph as to why everyone hated me. and ofcourse a boy was involved. Yess a boy I know but he broke upp with me and I felt that I had no one. I was bullied by ex friends and a teacher who I used to adore I was failing subjects that I would have gotten A's in I would sometimes feel a strong presence in my mind that would take over my mind and I wouldn't be able to function except for breaking down and crying. I would be sent to the councilors nearly every day and when I told them about the presence the mistook it for me saying that I heard voices. Which I didn't so I was checked into a mental institute and at the last minute my mother decided that going to a mental institute was not necessary. I thank her for that. I would stay up till I literally passed out then slept all day because I was afraid to go to sleep because I would be too afraid of dying.
My mother took me to many doctors and psychologists and none of them really helped that much but there was one (my current doctor) who helped me and put me on the right kinds of medication and who listened and understood me and everything was ok I could tell him ANYTHING and he would treat me like I wasn't crazy and would tell me that it is ok to think or do whatever because of_____. He explained things with me and worked with me through my struggles. I am now on medication that I am still trying to balance out and get the perfect balance and I am still working on not cutting and I will always deal with this. this isn't something that just goes away after you stop. It is something that I will deal with for the rest of my life, but that's ok. I can now help others with their struggles and relate to others and understand them and help them to achieve what I have achieved today
Today marks the year of strength
*Remember you are NEVER alone I am always here for you and I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART! thank you for reading this
,-'-,-'-,-'The Mark of No Marks'-,-'-,-'-,
October 15, 2014, 12:33:am
you've been through a lot, but i can say from my own history that t will continue to get better and it will make you a stronger person, even if you don't feel like it, and in those moments where you feel weak, or what have you take a step back, look at everything you have done for yourself, all of your accomplishments and hopes and dreams, and then look to all the people who care about you, those people who help you up when you are down; those are the people you can truly rely on. smile and know that you are truly a wonderful person and that, most things that may feel like your fault aren't i understand you story so much, it mirrors my own in many ways, and i can tell you right now, that if you ever, ever need to talk i am only a message away. love and kisses x(^*^)x
,-'-,-'-,-'The Mark of No Marks'-,-'-,-'-,
October 15, 2014, 11:15:pm
*hugs* Caring for others IS your STRNGTH even if others find it a weakness - it is your golden ticket love, don't you let anyone take that away from you. Most people lost their humanity but you have kept yours, protect it like gold, hold it dear but share it often <3
Yes, in Canada we have it around the time of the autumn harvest. Which is awesome in my opinion.
Went to my grandfathers this morning for a lunch with my dad's side of the family. My half-brother was there, and pretty much everyone was there except one aunt and her husband. I ended up playing a a game of pool with my brother, which I have not played in at least 2 years.
I lost, however it was a close game. Then I decided to go out to my grandfathers barn, which is now derelict, and it has a family of cats living there now, two kittens and a mother. I found it interesting people constantly drop off animals in barns and such.
Then it was lunch time, which took some time and was a delicious meal, then dessert which also was good. I can't wait for Christmas as it's just as amazing. I really enjoy lunch with my dad's side, very easy going people, and very amusing times.
Sadly however, my brother and I decided to play another game of pool, and another after that which has left me in quite a bit of discomfort. Afterwords everyone was preparing to leave, and we all decided to play some poker together with change, that was quite fun. My brother's step daughter decided she wanted attention and wouldn't stop whining and making a ruckus.
After several failed attempts by them I grew annoyed and raised my voice, simply saying "Quiet." and it startled everyone else the room fell dead silent, I then had to say " I didn't mean everyone." And we all got a laugh, however after being put into a corner she calmed down. I myself can't stand children who require attention be drawn to them, personally I believe she requires a series of spankings to improve her view of how everyone should pay attention to her.
I finished my first midterm this year. I look forward to whatever small break I can afford now. I'll probably read and play video games to let off some steam. But the reading will more than likely be course readings, which is fine by me seeing as I've got Oliver Twist and a bunch of other Victorian Lit to read. I love old books so it should be a breeze.
Right now, I'm looking forward to being done my classes for the week. Also, I wish I could kidnap Lis and embark in some sort of awesome and fun adventure.
I'm looking forward to seeing my friends/family and letting my hair down.