I had this dream a few nights ago and I think it has a strong message that I have yet to awaken my true potential.
It was dark, cold, damp and smelled of piss. Every little sound seemed to echo. I opened my eyes and as they focused I could see around me were two others, a man and a woman, chained to the wall stripped naked and beaten. My head was throbbing as my vision went in and out.
I noticed that I too was chained to a wall. I was afraid, I had no idea where I was or how I got there. The other two appeared just as frightened. I looked around the small room we were imprisoned in; there were no windows and one narrow door. The walls looked like rough concrete stained with time, the chains were eaten with rust and rough on my wrists. The door opened..
I cloaked man walked in. There wasn't much detail to the way he looked, I suppose he could have been anyone. He told us in an excited tone that we were special and carefully selected. He needed us and stressed that the timing must be perfect or it won't work. He explained to us that in order for the ritual to be completed properly he had to rape us against our will and at the exact moment of ejaculation he has to behead us with this sword. He has to do that once a day for three days then he will be able to use out bodies to summon his god.
The other two prisoners looked drugged as the had little reaction to what was said. The man walked up to me and whispered "you must be first" in my ear. I was struggling and crying, begging and pleading. "Please, don't kill me please. I will do anything you ask but please don't kill me!" He laughed and I begain to freak out trying with all my strength to free my arms while I screamed. I began to get angry, fed up with the world constantly shiting on me.
He grabbed my arm and I felt fire in my eyes I was so angry. Who does this man think he is? This pathetic flea of a man. He started to look scrawny and weak to me. I noticed something inside of me was changing rapidly. My fear had turned to stone, my anger, my hate... had all turned to stone. The man began to back away from me, I saw so much fear in his eyes. I realized then that my change had not just been internal but external as well. My skin was thicker and had turned a shade of light grey, I was taller and stronger (To be more specific I looked like a tiefling).
I spoke.. it was an eerie but beautiful accent of multiple female voices in a language I do not recognize. But I spoke so calmly and smoothly while gazing at him with my hollow eyes. My words were power and my power was strong and building up within him more and more, expanding as he screamed in agony as I kept speaking. He exploded. I broke the chains that bound me to the wall as if they were made of dough then walked to the across the room. I gently put my hand on the wall and began to repeat the same words over and over; the wall began to vibrate purple with a humming that made my skin tingle and a portal opened. I stepped through it and opened my eyes. I was in my bed, in my house, I woke up.
I think this dream means I have a fear that is holding me back from my true potential and untill I truly face this fear and force myself to evolve I will never know what truly lies beneath. But I have no clue what fear...
Tiefling. I did not draw this, I jacked it from google and changed the colors
Being trapped in my own world for so long Nice to had met some Awesome people the past few months who took me in.
Being around so many People Im becoming more social then I have ever been and I love it. Must thank JC (the first to even introduce me to this new world and friends) Plagu3, Casca and Glow-stick-man XD (never knew his name- Bad Durga, bad!) for All the good times at the events. You guys do youre best to keep up XD
Along with thanking K-9, LordSevenDeaths, Darkthriver77, FlawedReaper and varius other people who show up with the "crew", for being awesome enough to allow me to tag along in the madness after a party dies Midknight and Metem for being so sexy :3
And my new Biffles just for being awesome people Nevs and crazynycboy... people I had yet to mention its mainly cause I for got your names or We need to hang out some more XP
Well, I haven't had any interesting dreams since I decided to start posting them. I am going to take this time to explain what I plan on doing here and then I am going to type out one of my oldest dreams that I can still remember.
There are different types of dreams and I have started to categories them. I have not done any external research on this subject so all the terms I am going to use I made them up. If you have heared these terms elsewhere and they are used differently, please don't dwell on it and try to just understand what I am trying to say .
1. Flash dream: I usually have this type of dream when I am exhausted. It will be a split second of an image or multiple random images that have no association with each other. I won't be posting any of these because they are the hardest to remember and they don't make enough since to describe.
2. Influenced dreams: These are dreams we all have. Been working long hours? Then you go to sleep and you are still working... or maybe you just watched a good movie and then you dream you are a part of it! These are usually caused when you are subconsciously thinking of something as you fall asleep. You can purposely influence your dreams too by concentrating on something as you drift off but I have only been successful at that just one time.
3. Abstract or Surreal dreams: These are the interesting ones that I will be posting. These dreams leave you with "WTF?" when you wake up then you think about it all day trying to piece it together. Sometimes these dreams are like a movie to me and sometimes they are like a puzzle I have to figure out. Occasionally they will serve as a warning of some sort but usually I do not figure them out in time for it to even be worth trying.
They can all be broken down more but I will keep it basic. Here latley I have only been having the flash dreams and that is not unusual, I recently had a really good one so it may be a few nights before I get another one. I must warn you now; my dreams to tend to be disturbing and explicit. At least they disturb me quite a bit so I usually edit and sensor them before I share them. But not here, I will tell it all here.
Okay, so here is the first abstract dream I can remember having. I was around 5-7 years old, I don't know exactly how old but know I was young because the house I was living in when I had the dream was within those years. This one was a bit of a puzzle that I am still piecing together and I believe I will be doing so for my entire life. Some of the things are starting to fall into place though.
I started out at my great grandmothers house... I walked in the front door and it was so empty, foggy and eerie. I was looking for my little brother and I couldn't find him anywhere as I went from room to room. Finally, I made it to my great grandmother's room and I heared his voice but I couldn't see him. I realized his voice was coming from an air vent. I climbed on top of the dresser to get to it and as I got closer I could hear the voices of other children as well, laughing, crying. I removed the cover and crawled inside. It wasn't too long untill I fell into a secret room I never knew of before. There were several young children playing with toys but I still couldn't find him. I was spinning, there were no doors or windows, where could he be? Next thing I know all the kids are gone and I am alone, running through the house again. I made my way to the back yard. By this time I was hysterical and crying. I noticed a white wedding gazebo in her back yard that I had never seen before. It looked old but was lavishly decorated with white roses. It's beauty didn't calm me one bit but I ran to it. I sat on the steps of the gazebo and began to pull at my long hair very hard while I cried. So hard in fact that my scalp began to split at the part in my hair. I felt no physical pain, only emotional pain as I kept pulling and pulling. Eventually I lost strength and fell over to my side and I could see myself lying there with half my skull exposed. I saw my mother running to me in a panic and she picked me up and began to cry as she finished what I had started by pulling the rest of my skin off. The image I was looking at gradually faded as I woke up.
Seems like reality took a toll on all who I know. Be sure to understand this will only last the moment, everything is just a moment. Moments that will never come back and moments that will only haunt you if you allow it. We live only in the moment. spent the moments doing all that you can to make yourself smile. Moments to be bliss with your own thoughts. Take this moment to be free...
Time is an illusion for we understand death, time means nothing to those who don't know death is approaching. So lets be ignorant to the idea of death and live in the moment, what you do is not wrong nor right, what you do with your moment is the moment that passes us all by. Do not look back on the moment for the moment no longer matters...
not sure what if everyone understands what I'm saying but I know there are the few
I understand... its just hard. I can be free in the moment but... I dont know. I regret so much in my life and even though I know I shouldnt, I end up becoming inactive just to avoid further regret. I wish more people thought the way you do. But as it stands, its too confusing.. I want to be free. But I have chains that cannot be broken.. and ive had them on so long that I even defend them. I dont know what the hell I am even talking about.
I understand you Taj. When it's hard to explain, it's usually the most simplest point that you want to make. I don't want to sound like a fortune cookie, but, sometime you do have to let go of that anchor to move forward. Durga to me seems very...zen in her approach to life. It's up to us to choose a simple life, or a hectic one. It's as simple as that. What you think is holding you down, whether work, family, whatever, has only become a habit for you. A habit of stressing over things that you do have a control over. Reevaluate those things in your life that's holding you and perhaps come up with another strategy or plan to either conquer it or to avoid it. Just try. Take one thing in your life and at least try to change it. Only then will you start breaking those bad habits.
Casca speaks the truth, he is also wise with his words. Thank you for explaining in a clearer understanding one aspect to Taj. Nevs I love your enthusiasm, think of of at a grater scale now, the universe is ever changing effecting us with every motion in action :3
Of course, every moment... every thought, every word, it all effects us... larger scale can follow the same rules, I can't rule anything out; just like the oceans, we don't know much quite yet!
the other night i stayed up all night and then i had a friend over and i dyed his hair and bleached mine because im getting red hair dye today. it was really fun to because it was his birthday and i surprised him with a homemade cake! =^.^= any way i practically fell asleep in his arms yesterday and then i came home and crashed as soon as my head it the pillow.
i woke up this morning at 8:06 and school had already started so i was like sh*t whatever xD and i went back to bed i just woke back up and its 3:10 my school gets out in like 10 minutes O.o
i've never slept in past 11:00 and even then i kept waking up every hour and going back to sleep.
i thought it was pretty cool xD
sorry you wont find your guidelines to surviving a zombie turtle apocalypse here xD
So I'm going to the laundry mat today like i do every Saturday. I'm stuck at this red light and see this mom and 3 children struggle walking to the same laundry mat. The mother had 3 large garbage bags. Her children had to be all under 5 years of age. I felt really bad. Instead of going straight i turned left. I stopped on the side by her. I asked out my window of my car if she wanted a ride. She spoke hardly any English but the look on her face was priceless. She accepted my offer. Her children got into the back seat and the mom and i filled my truck with the bags. I drove her to the laundry mat. We did laundry together and i drove her home. When she took the kids in her home and her clothes to the porch she ran to me and hugged me. I'm not a touchy person but in this case i allowed it. She may not be able to speak English to thank me but the hug told me she was very much grateful. She will never forget the day some random young girl helped her. I made this mothers day and i feel amazing about doing it. The little things in life go along way.
It's for an organic online home delivery food service, that caters to specialty dietary needs (gluten free, dairy free, paleo diet) and I think I'm gonna dig it! The chef and I had a good time yesterday and I start tomorrow!
I just wanna enjoy what I'm doing and care about it, that's what's important <3
ok so... people just ADORE me here on vamp freaks...I dunno if its because I'm pretty or if its because I'm just such the humanitarian...I am so sensitive to peoples needs I go out of my way to make them feel good but stupid skanks that dont understand the meaning of kink want to stop me in my quest of satisfying the submissive...isn't that about a bitch...hating me wont make you prettier slut...and I will continue doing what I do. Being the way that I am has gotten me so far in my life and I am only progressing. In the kink world I am known as an alpha female, a dominant woman if you will. In the world of kink the things that basic bitches may call "bullying" would be known to us kinksters as extreme foreplay I have been an alpha female for 5 years and have known of the lifestyle for 9 and I have only become better at what I do. I am just a kinky bitch! in the real world I would shut you bitches down and put you in your place, but since we are all coexisting in cyberspace the most I will do is give you a slight tongue lashing, bruise that widdle ego of yours haha. I may sound like an arrogant bitch to those lacking confidence...so be it...I'm not going to apologize for anything, and I am definitely not going to apologize for you being an ignorant basic weakling...shame on you for going out of your way to send me hatemail and thumbs down ALL of my photos...I hope you feel better and good job blocking me as well...you're a pussy and a pathetic excuse for a woman...shame on you hahaha. being the villain has always been a fantasy of mine I like it, the more people that hate me the happier I am, because we all know that the haters are the fucking idiots of society, basic sheep of the world, while I am just a kinky squirrel trying to get a nut... Coming down from my high horse would be deadly...ill die before I allow that to happen. so the moral of this journal is...Speak when spoken to...or you'll just end up looking like Dumb ass... <3
Be true to yourself and you'll go far,
Don't let someone tell you who you are.
It's okay to have interests and hobbies too,
But don't let those around you determine what you do.
Just realize you're awesome,
Being just you. <3
I find myself intoxicated by how safe and supported I feel now that I’ve got someone I can count on. Someone I can ask for help, get support from, lose control with. I’ve got someone that doesn’t judge me or make me feel guilty. I’ve got someone that doesn’t just love me, but treats me like someone that loves me and wants me to be a better person. Someone that builds me up and encourages me. So here I am, willingly abandoning all control to Him and finding myself in need.
JC
blunts and blunts and blunts and blunts and
holy shit
