I have to agree, ele is very versatile so you'll almost never get bored with so many skills to switch and choose from. I'm currently working on my ele Asura to also buy the cultural Asura light armor with the cool avatar goggles. But in the meantime I'm also playing my other 2 lvl 80 characters to farm and for living story events.http://vampirefreaks.com/gallery.php?u=Johnny_CyberHuman&folder_id=540352
I love how, in order to become a music therapist, I need to major in music but at the same time have enough psychological knowledge to be a psychologist. Pretty much, double major. I also need to be proficient in Biology and some sociology.
Which is fine but I am working for a B.S. in music, which almost all the courses are 1 credit… annnnd there’s no summer courses for music. I have to have 64 credits for this degree. I need to play a major instrument, and I must also be proficient with the piano. The department tests me along the way. And on top of all that? Having to preform in at least one ensemble every semester…
Psychology is a BA, and that’s 35 credits. So I am working for 99 credits, while attempting to make them all work together. I gotta tell you… between needing to work in general, commuting to school, and almost all the courses I need to take being 2 1/2 hour long (or longer) classes pretty much 80% of them conflicting; it’s extremely stressful and I am beginning to have panic attacks and freak out about it.
I don’t know why I even bother sometimes. I just.. can’t. It’s getting to the point where I just don’t even want to try anymore. This could be the depression speaking but, damn… I just don’t even see why I’m still in college. I stopped med school in order to relieve some stress from myself. At this point? I am getting the same amount of stress from this, and this isn't nearly as strict as going pre-med. Fuck, man. I don't want to be in school forever, but I am tired of compromising everything in my life. For once, I'd like to not compromise but it doesn't look like this is in the cards...
Mood: Anxious, Panicking, and Aggravated Music: Apollo (Feat. Amba Shepherd) by Hardwell
perpetual war(united nations peace actions),omnipresent government surveillance (war on terrorism), and public mind control(entertainment mass media), dictated by a political system euphemistically named English Socialism (all major parties follow the same goal) under the control of a privileged Inner Party elite(banking system)that persecutes all individualism and independent thinking as thoughtcrimes.(political correctness) Their tyranny is headed by Big Brother,(homeland security) the quasi-divine Party leader who enjoys an intense cult of personality(obama), but who may not even exist.(heavily censored past)( Big Brother and the Party justify their rule in the name of a supposed greater good.(global warming)The protagonist of the novel, Winston Smith, is a member of the Outer Party who works for the Ministry of Truth (NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox,), which is responsible for propaganda and historical revisionism. His job is to re-write past newspaper articles so that the historical record always supports the current party line.(Internet Censorship SOPA) Smith is a diligent and skillful worker, but he secretly hates the Party and dreams of rebellion against Big Brother.
As literary political fiction and as dystopian science-fiction, Nineteen Eighty-Four is a classic novel in content, plot, and style. Many of its terms and concepts, such as Big Brother, doublethink, thoughtcrime, Newspeak, and memory hole, have entered everyday use since its publication in 1949. Moreover, Nineteen Eighty-Four popularised the adjective Orwellian, which describes official deception, secret surveillance, and manipulation of the past by a totalitarian or authoritarian state
Brave New World was a good one, too.I'm thinking Huxley's view is a little more accurate, not that government won't still act like government.But with Brave New World, people don't give a damn.No one cares to read, and are so pleasure orientated that nothing else matters.We have anti-depressants (Soma) to keep people content enough to keep working. Not many people care about reading or knowing what's going on around them. So it's like, yeah you'll be lied to by news broadcasting, but who watches the news anyway? "It's too depressing and I don't want my children exposed to those things."I've known too many people who simply don't care what the government does. And why would you care when you're taught in school that the only way to change anything is by buying things and/or voting. I can't buy anything that has absolutely no involvement with any petroleum product, and I can't vote to not go to war.
Nah, but I do have some nice footage from that MudVayne show at the Uptown years ago.I'm pissed I missed out on Coal Chamber and Sevendust.Manson's going to be in Missouri in June, I might try to do the meet and greet again.I don't really know how to keep up with what shows are coming anymore, I've added just about all the venues I go to on FB, but I somehow miss out on shit still.Did Swill perform with Orgy that night? I totally missed out on it, I was pissed.
I believe i seen the mudvayne videos. I heard that coal chamber show was amazing. Wish i could of made that one as well. Whats your fb? The bands, venues and promoters i work with and know host tons of stuff and send at least 10 invites a day to different things, I repost them alot. And yes, I believe swill opened the whole thing. Went Swill, Sarmatian Night, Solus and In the Shadow.
Added. Ah, they always trash the place, yet i dont think they did at aftershock on Orgy night. Though i could be wrong. Ah yes, Rhonda, I seen her a few times at the show. Her and i talked for a few. i dont see or talk to her much though other then some shows and her working at the drive in on halloween nights
With North Korean’s (NK) warmongering attitude towards US and her allies, the region is becoming nervously unstable. Although NK has previously made many similar threats of war, it never escalated this quickly of equal seriousness under the rule of Kim Jong Il. There are many theories behind the rapid escalation of tension in NK and sudden rattle of sabers. Some say that this series of threats is a way for current NK leader Kim Jong Un (KJU) to consolidate his power by proving to his people and generals that he is a strong man, who has the courage to confront the US empire. Other may say it is not more than NK’s routine dramatic performance of bringing nations to a bargaining table for benefits. Whether any of those theories is true or not, it is certainly a grim situation that is surrounding the region.
US, her allies, even China, unlike previous situations, are not showing any inclination of wanting a peace negotiation with NK at the moment, despite of the loud saber rattling and rapid tension build up. China has made conference announcement of urging calm and talk on both sides, but it is only for generic media responses that has no real gravity to it. This lack of peaceful approach on both sides of China and US is rare. While China is getting tired of NK as an unleashed and untamed rogue beast for it is hard to control as China would like to. US certainly does not want to another hostile state to develop nuclear weapons that are aimed at Americans. Given the proper resources, it is only a matter of time for the NK to develop nuclear missiles that will reach North America. It is best interest for US not drag on this matter for long now that NK vowed to reignite its nuclear reactors. And it is best interest for the US to shut this down while it is still at infancy. NK is losing political bargaining war and support, so what is there for NK to gain? Now, this is just a far stretched theoretical thought as I have no solid evidence to back it up. However, I think it is an interesting and twisted view of what is happening in the mind of KJU.
Suppose that KJU wants war, or at least provocation of war. He wants it not as a mean of consolidation of his power, nor bringing Six Party talk back to its table again, but as a mean to liberate his nation internally through external force. In terms of facts, KJU spent his teenage years and education abroad in Switzerland behind hidden identity, and had seen what a free democratic country is like for its people. I am certain that he appreciates what he experienced in Switzerland than NK. KJU is a rather smart person, as he received good grades in advanced science classes during his school years. There are several people who were his classmates recall that he is actually a nice person, and possibly with a kind heart too. As his abroad education came to an end, he returned to NK to continue his father’s legacy as a brutal dictator. It is difficult to imagine such a young man (28 yr old) would appear from nowhere and immediately obtain approval and respect amongst last generation ruling party members such as senior generals and party officials. As far as our speculation goes, KJM does not have any real control power in the inner circle, he is but a figurehead, a puppet of those with real power.
Suppose that KJU wants to change NK; he wants to make NK democratic and prosper for its people. Maybe by contrasting what he learned in Europe and what he sees in NK saddens him enormously. Seeing how much his people suffer from poverty, starvation, and ignorance bother him. However, he could not let such emotion to be known by his surrounding. It would put him in danger. He would be revoked from position, or even maybe secretly executed by powerful party members. In order to transform a dictatorial country into a democratic one will need one of both forces. It will either come from force within the nation itself to undergo a revolution, eg. USSR. Or it will be an external force to implement a new political system, eg. Iraq. Without power, without control, without authority, and definitely without the support of last generation ruling members, his desires for a democratic revolution will never happen. So what is there left, but to bring external power into the plan equation.
KJU may not have total power of party or nation, but he can certain encourage and approve those who do to provoke the US and South Korean with threats. After all, this is what NK has been doing for the past decade in order to get what they want. However, the difference is that NK is bringing everything a notch higher than before. This current state of crisis is bringing US warships, reinforced missile defence, and possibly a pre-emptive strike on NK’s nuclear sites. The region is undoubtly at the edge of a conventional war. This might be precisely what KJU wants and needs in order to end last generation’s ruling and bring democratic changes to NK.
If and when the war breaks out between NK and US and US allies. NK is in no position of lasting a fight. Surrounded by ocean, abandoned by China, and with inferior equipment, technology, and lack of logistic support, NK will lose the war within months, if not weeks. There might be only minimum damage on the nation’s civilian other than its military units. After all, US has mastered the surgical strike strategy from Yugoslavian war in 1998, and it has proven to be effective regardless the amount of land force a nation may have. As soon as the military surrenders, the war is over. The provocation of US attack is a risky plan, but it definitely a plan to bring democracy to NK. As long as KJU is proven to be only a figurehead without real power, he should not be executed like any other dictators. Unlike his father and Saddam, he has never committed known crimes against humanity. He was put onto the throne because he is Kim Jong Il’s son. He might not even want to be a dictator in the first place. Even if the trial might turn out to be negative for KJU, he can always offer exchanging top secret information for his safety. There is always a way out for KJU after the war as long as he is truly a puppet.
So imagine if the above presumptions are true, then KJU is actually very noble and cunning to take up the risk for his people and country and stir up a flare in order to use external power to bring a new life to North Korea. And the communist party will never know the true agenda behind this crisis, they would still think this is just part of their yearly routine bluffing.
SPOOKY INDEED Roli! eventually one side is going to back down, and most likely it won't be the US and its allies this time. NK is really digging itself a grave right now that it cannot back down. it will be very interesting to see how things play out in next few weeks.
I doubt NK will ever actually launch a missile. China will not help. It has absolutely nothing to gain from its alliance with NK and absolutely everything to gain with the trade from the west.I think Kim Jung Un is just flexing his muscles and showing his nuclear cock to his citizens (especially his military leaders) to show that he is in fact, the man.His nation needs a common enemy to antagonize. NK is already on the verge of extinction. It's one of the few ways to keep its citizens interested.Now that the citizens are ready for war, who knows what happens. The party can reform as they please, since it will be for "the good of the land". This might not be a bad thing. It might envellop a number of changes that would be prosperous to NK.Either way.. I doubt "the west" would have to fear for an attack. Let's just hope the age of helplessly looking at concentration work an deathcamps in NK is at an end. I'm already amazed the UN allowed it this far.Now if KJU is a massias or something, I would not know. He certainly has a lot of bark for one. But either way, I speculated NK to fall pretty soon anyway, snce it has no resources to sustain itself. With no food and oil, it can hardly function.I just hope it goes out pretty peaceful. A war on this scale would serve no one a big use. Although NK might not have the best military, they certainly have a large one with 5 milion soldiers (I believe).Anyway, as far as I get the news... this is just massive cockstroking. I hope I'm wrong.
I absolutely agree with many points that you mentioned Tycho. Unlike 1950, China certainly will not help NK this time. Mao is long dead. If he was still alive, he would still ruthlessly put his own country and people aside to help NK in the name of Communism brothershood. To help NK means to clash against the US, and a massive scale economic suicide on China’s current double digit economic growth is not a wise decision. However, China will face a new dilemma by not helping NK. If war breaks out and NK falls, US will nodoubtly install a puppet state in the region. By then, China is fully surrounded on the eastern frontier by US power. This also is a situation that China cannot accept. To help, or not to help, that is the question. The only viable solution to this dilemma that I can see is for China to embark a peace negotiation on both sides before NK falls entirely after war breaks out. This NK bluffing is not going to give them the humane aid negotiation that they wanted, if that is what they wanted. The threats have been escalating every few days, and it has nowhere else to be but up. If KJU is behind all this muscle flexing in order to gain respect and trust of his followers, then stepping down is certainly not an option, as he will be seen as weak. And going further will only cause more tension and eventually war, or the world will simply stop caring about these empty threats. Either one, NK is in a pickle jar too. I don’t think UK could do much about this situation, the best they could do was using economic sanction, which China has been rejecting for years while supplying NK with fuels and food. The point on NK’s large number of military, in today’s war, it cannot be won without air superiority. By winning, I define it as the surrender of military force that has no power of retaliation. US without a doubt has the massive air superiority over NK. NK might have 5 million soldiers, but they cannot shoot down B-2 bombers with AK47. As soon as US controls the air, they become nothing but sitting targets.
Sometimes we write things to rant, other times we write things to express. I don’t expect any of you to actually read or finish this long article below, as I am writing this only to organize my own thoughts in order to understand something about myself while saving a record of particular moment of my life. However, if the story below does evoke your curiosity and interest, feel free to read it over a cup of tea.
Have you ever lied to people on the internet? I am positive that many of us have. Have you ever been bothered about it to the point where it ultimately makes you feel frustrated and guilty? I am positive that few of us experienced the feeling to that extent.
I lied to people on internet on many occasions, mainly to the people in the MMORPG gaming community. I do not lie to them on my quality of gear, stats, ability, or level. I lie to them based on my gender. As some of you may know, I ALWAYS play a female character in MMO. And most likely, I play a rouge or an assassin class as I like the insane amount of damage they do in a short period of time. And Nika from Guild Wars 1 is just so hot and sexy, and I totally want to role play my character as one of her descendants. However, by the end of the day, I am a male.
As my obsession of playing a female gaming character, I dug deep into myself and questioned about what I am. Frankly, I do not feel completely right of being a male in real life. There are times where I wish I was born as a female. Huh? What is that? The painful period? Pfffft….time to carve out the uterus! Seriously though, there are times where I wish that I live in a world where we can easily swap brain into a different cyborg body so I can change my gender easily. For the first time in my life, I have actually had the thought of undergoing sex change. I will probably turn myself into someone like Bailey Jay, but I know for fact that my family will not take this lightly. Because I do not feel quite right about being a male, and that is where my obsession with strong female character began, hence why I play a female character in games to become a rose with thorn.
I was greatly inspired by Motoko Kusanagi, the protagonist of the cyberpunk series manga and anime Ghost in the Shell. She is a full cyborg police officer who works for the department of homeland security for counter terrorist activities. She displays a high degree of male dominance and leadership throughout the series while still maintaining her unique sense of feminine traits and sexiness. In certain episodes, she even uses her physical attractiveness in order to complete her objectives. She is quite a bit like Selene from Underworld, but packed with more firepower and slight taste of cyborg lesbian lovemaking . I have to admit that I admire and love her as a fictional character with slight sexual attachment, but I am not going to bore you with how great and charismatic that she is, you just have to watch the series yourself to find out.
What is a significant about having a strong ass kicking female protagonist is that it is a direct contrast of what we have in reality, which generates a counter culture towards the macho name hero image. Females have always been seen and socially engineered as submissive beings to their male counter parts for centuries. So having not just a female protagonist, but a strong ass kicking female protagonist is quite rare. We all know what the male to female ratio is in the business and politics, so let us examen the variety of media and entertainment today as how many dominating and notable female protagonists are been presented. In movies, we have Bride from Kill Bill and Selene from Underworld. In games, I can name Laura from Tomb Raider and Samus from Metriod. In anime, we have Motoko from GTIS and Robin from Ergo Proxy. Off top of my head, I could name these main characters, which are far less in numbers than the characters that I can name for males.
Because of the historical repression and lack of strong female character representation in the media, it is a derivative nature for male gamers to think that girls are just bad at gaming. Most girls that I have encountered take no huge interest in gaming, and for those who do, they tend to kick my ass in certain genre. I have had my ass handed to me on a silver platter in Mario Kart, which is a game that I am decently good at by LADYxIMMORTELLE. In addition, my wife Kitty_Massacre, who practically uses me for target practice in Halo, which I suck to begin with on a console FPS. However, when it comes to the world of MMO, not many people can slap me around.
When I play as a female character, it is almost as if I want these guys to see me as a girl, who kicked their ass in order to reconstruct their views about girls suck at MMOs or games in general. And I am certain that some of them thought they could easily take me on because I am a “girl”.
As far as my experience goes, people whom you meet in games come and go in the MMO world, so my lies have never really bothered me. Why would anyone care for what I really am? Why would I care if they think I am a female or not in real life. They are all digital figures just like me. We play few hours, do some dungeon, chat a bit, add onto friend list for future raids, and off separate way we go. This rule has always applied to me for the past 10 years. So why do I feel guilty and frustrated now? Why do I feel the need to write this confession article to express my guilt and regrets? That is because I realize the potential friendship that I might lose due to dishonesty, and I realize the true meaning behind my obsession with female game characters.
While I play female characters for all my MMO games, I also pretend and try to act like one as well. I have convinced many people that I am truly a girl both online and in real life. And it was interesting to see many male gamers have challenged me in duels. 9 out of 10, I beat the crap out of them. Some of them were very awed by such results and said to me that “You are such a tough cookie, first girl that ever beat me on my main character.” By beating these confident and competent opponents while under my girl identity, I have earned tremendous amount of respect from them as a player, which was nice to have. This kind of respect and victory do come with a price, and that is to remain distant without any further involvement or emotional attachment to any of these people. In other words, I cannot develop a friendship with anyone beyond the level of acquaintance in order to protect my true identity. This has worked very well for the past as I often hop from one game to another, and so do many people. However, that came to a stop when I met a boy in the game of Guild Wars 2. He made me realize this is a sad and empty game I am playing with myself.
I remember first time we met he approached me first complimenting my selection of colours on my outfits. From there, we hit off very well. We explored the map, did dungeons, and traveled around the virtual world. As time goes, we grew close. And for the first time I broke my rules as I gave him my MSN. Later on, I further broke my rules by giving him a name that could potentially be traced to my true identity. So now he knows me with my sister’s name as Karmi. Shortly before last Christmas, he got tired of the game and left without a trace, and I have been busy with my career and stopped the game for several months as well. I was not worried despite of information I gave to him regarding me. After all, this was just another come and go cases of the MMO. I was wrong. As I came back to the game today, so did he. We accidentally ran into each other again in the neutral zone, and he was full of joy to see my character and I again, admiring my character’s appearance while making cute remarks while hitting on me. Apparently that he has been looking for me and asking others of my whereabouts. I am positive that this boy either has a crush on my character, or me, or maybe both.
Since the last time we met, he sadly transferred to the opposing server. As he learned that I am back on regular basis, he said that he is going to transfer back even it will cost him about $20 to do so. If I was him, I would have just left the way it is, it is a game after all. There is no need of going through that just to be with someone you don’t even know well. However, his sense of friendship moved me. As a token of gratitude and appreciation, I offered him of sharing half of his transferring expense via in game currency. There I just broke another rule by the way. Just by pure coincidence and strange law of this world, I learned that his name is also Felix, who is also a younger than me Asian descendant living in Vancouver. What the hell?
And now he asks if I could go on teamspeak to hangout with him while playing. I cannot do such thing. Although I have the ability to look like a girl, but I cannot fake a female voice, at least not for now. Although I can undergo intensive training to acquire a female tone and voice, but that will take some time. Right now, I am in a dilemma pitchfork road as on what should I do. I do not fully understand why I broke so many of my rules. Maybe the female part of me does find him quite charming nice person to play with. Maybe the male part of me finds him socially enjoyable as a friend. And maybe I, as a whole find him to be worthy of breaking the rules for. By the way, if my wife is reading this right now, don’t worry. I am not falling in love with a gaming buddy, and I am not completely bisexual either. Although, I do crave for your hard rubber cock sometimes. I cannot fully explain why I did the things I did for this boy, but I did. It seems that he made me realize that there is more than acquaintanceship beyond the screen. There is a possible friendship beyond the pixels. There is a sense of loyalty in a virtue world of killing and war. There is a sense of caring and missing someone when the screen is turned off. And there is feeling of genuine comradeship within a game. Yes, that is correct. I remember now. I remember these feelings. These feelings and emotions of what many people would fake and silly do exist, and they were my ways of coping with loneliness in my life when I lived in the middle of nowhere. Because of people like him, I was able to remember how to smile from within.
I am stuck now. I do not know what to do. If I continue to break my rules, he will eventually find out what I am. If I start to enforce my rules, I will most likely to lose a friendship that I always wanted, but never had. I am afraid of telling him the truth, that he cannot handle. I am afraid that he will act differently towards me. And to be honest, I actually enjoy when he hits on me while I make small dirty jokes back. Maybe it is time to question about my sexuality as well again.
Do I need a voice converter? Do I need voice training? Or maybe I should just keep on lying, but I feel that I have cheated this boy’s emotion. And if he ever finds out, it will pop his bubble or break his heart. I do not know, as I cannot think of any viable solution to my dilemma. In the end, this is that 1 out 10 match I cannot win.
If I ever decide to under go sex change surgery, I would make myself look like one of my creations.
Mizukira from Vindictus
thank you guys so much for the input! i really appreciate it!i think i'm going to slowly to let him know that i'm not what i claimed i am. i hope he own't end our friendship due to that matter. still there are times now days where i feel that i am not inside the right body anymore. but i hope this is temporary.
Just a little bored on the road right now. How's everybody doing? I'm working on some new tunes that I'll be uploading to here sometime soon. Also I think I might need a better band name I dunno any opinions?
It's literally dawned on me that as of late I've had absolutely no life.
I'm sitting here on VF bored out of my wits, sleeping, or now playing the impossible game because, idfk. Maybe I like game rage?
I should just switch my availability back at work, instead of what I have now. But the next person who shoves a candle at my nose and tries to get me to tell them which one smells better for their house, or if I walk into home smelling like a lotion monster vomited up on me because they can't test on themselves? I am going to break their wrist.
Bleh. : /
At least next week is Knife Party and I'll be out of the house for the night.
Even though I know james is going to flake and I'll be chillin by myself all night, and waiting for the first train home.
But between school and homework and blah? It's really pointless to try and go out with people xD
That was not supposed to notify you all.
Sorry : c
Mood: Blah Music: Whatever the track for The Impossible Game is
I keep asking your parents why they let you go to these crazy cutlery parties but they just shrug and say "You're a fucking cat". As for anything relevant goes.. I'll be sure to be here so you can drunk call me out of boredom