It's getting so confusing
and i can't keep up with it
i feel so ignored for some reason
time will heal wounds
yet they always let time repeat itself
i have to break this cycle soon
its hurting so bad
last few months its been so dark
i was thinking of automutulation again
i didnt do it but still i hate me having that idea
on another side im getting my first film poster
and a bbq this afternoon
Since my mother has been gone. She passed away Monday,May 13, between 3:00 and 5:00 that morning. An autopsy has confirmed it was from a heart attack and I still cannot believe she is dead
A wake was done on Thursday, the funeral was Friday and during the weekend family has sent me some family pictures of her I didn't have and presents for me. I am still very upset about all of this and especially very sad that she had to go so soon since she was only 42.I loved her so much but for many years she has been in a lot of pain (had a lot of medical problems along with being crippled) so I atleast know that she is now in a better place and is no longer in pain. I'm trying to be strong and I'm sure it will be easier to deal with in time though. Just thought I should let you all know.
Mood: Trying to hold on to reality Music: Painting the white to grey - Chimaira
Iam playing this awesome game Soul Sacrifice.
But somehow i seem not to be able got get this easy peasy trophy.
More peeps are complaining about it on the internet, so it might be a bit bugged.
But stil it is frustrating me more than it should xD.
So iam off.
People tell me iam asking for something to happen to me.
I am having this habit of going outside at night for a round at my rolskatetinghys.
BUT iam not really living in a good neighbourhood,
Actually it is apparently the worst neighbourhood to grow up in, in the entire country.
But iam going to change clothes to go outside.
I don't usually run into a lot of people at night even if I go into areas where there could be a lot of people. A lot of places look more pleasing to me at night than they do during the day, and it's typically calmer and more relaxing to me to go out then. Everyone's worried that I'm going to get jumped or something though. :/
Wel my roommate had an encounter with a guy and his gun around the corner. And the shops at the end of my street got robbed a couple of times now. But stil i dont get it why they call it such a bad neighbourhood. The numbers ar bad i guess :P Allot of crime and allot of dumd/lazy people without education. And so they say the neighbourhood is the worst to grow up in. But it is so nice and silent xD Only time when i hear screaming and sounds is.when there is footbal in the stadium :P which is 4 streets over. And only when the wind is blowing in our direction But iam going to sleep now. Had rain on my trip so shower and bed time. And my lungs are screaming for rest xD