I've always been curious. Grandpa (mother's adoptive father) had given up med school in his youth to spread "peace and music" and had kept a small shelf with old medical encyclopedias. While I lived with them as a little kid, we had a special game no one understood. He would come home from work and I would have selected a malady from the encyclopedia beforehand. I would have memorized the symptoms and treatment stated, pretend to be ill when he got home and have him "diagnose" me. It combined my love of books and information with acting. Great. Only he wasn't allowed to use the book in our game. As I got older, the game lost it's magic as many games do, and the photos of diseased organs didn't have the same appeal or shock.
As a pre-teen and teenager, my obsession was with my Step Father's (Father) text books. He had a big oak shelf with a plethora of manuals and text books. I modified my childhood game in my teen years by stealing his copy of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) and amusing myself by absorbing as much as I could. Every time I was taken to a new therapist, I mimicked whatever I felt was appropriate at the time. It made me tedious to work with. It worked well, I got a lot of drugs I happily abused. I became dependent on the cloud the drugs created, and therafore felt the need to take my game even further. My Father however, quickly caught on to my game, found his books and took them all back to his office. He never humored me. He never bothered talking to my therapists because he said: "You lie, anyway, there's no progress, you are refusing treatment."
Now that I no longer lie about such things, I get along with him way better than Mother. We understand each others speaking. We use words like "observe" "suppress" "irrational" "attribution" "stimulus". Words my mother doesn't seem to grasp or care about. We don't say "I don't know what to fucking do!" we say: "I cannot cope with this situation and am feeling very overwhelmed." Mom often says "Wha?" mid-sentence when I speak. She says the reason people don't relate to me is because I MAKE myself impossible to relate to. *shrug*
My mother kicked me out when I was a teen and I was "adopted" by her parents. She didn't want a crazy kid. She never said it, but I could tell she was ashamed. I tried to kill myself when I was 13. She said she couldn't believe what I had done to her and how I better start behaving. She told her co-workers I was simply not eating and "nervous". I felt my own home was collapsing on me and I had to stop it. I also felt I was not sure who I was, and to this day, I am unsure of my true personality traits as I seem to modify them day by day. I've always felt a terrible inner turmoil.
Looking back, I admit my game wasn't for sheer amusement alone. I did have genuine issues. I did have an eating disorder, a substance issue, self harm issues, I had ADD as a child (and my brother is ADHD) which my mother said was just "me being a brat" etc... but I felt better hiding those and faking others. I didn't want to share what was really wrong. It meant being vulnerable, saying: Here! this is my weak part RIIIIGHT HERE. It gave me a sense of power and control and I've always been one to deal with my issues on my own. At times, I wish I would have take treatment seriously...
Yay! So I just got home from my last exam for the Semester which was for European History.. really happy because I'm confident that I did great!! After that, my Brother and I went and celebrated by going to our favourite restaurant and got our fave pizza for lunch =3 Yep! Today is a wonderful day! HOLIDAY TIME!!!!!! =D YAYY!!!! ^__________^
This was me walking out of my exam:
That was me on our drive home XD Hahah!
SO HAPPY!!!! =D
Let's celebrate homies =D I wish ya'll were here to come out tonight and party with me XD Hee hee
Yay!!! Finally you get to take a break from Uni!! Congratulations Katty!! It'll be nice to be able to relax and kick back a bit now. I'm pretty sure you looked a lot cuter than William Fitzsimmons when you walked out like that too.
These are two random photos from the first shoot and first outfit I did with Anthony. I cropped them to show my face closer, but there is no other editing going on. Yes, I really am that pale. I honestly don't think I look *that* different if you compare these to the edited shots.
Then there was the second year of the supernatural con because it was so fun the first time.
Then there was Anime North... MUCH bigger than the Supernatural Con (20,000 people vs. only like 1000)
Well that was fun, soo...
I got tickets to Fan Expo! I am super excited. I can't even image how many people will be there. Anime North seemed to have a huge amount of people... well, 20,000 is nothing compared to like 100,000 which I'm betting is how many will come to Fan Expo... it grows each year, and last year they had around 90,000 people.
But anyways... super exciting! And also, with the type of tickets we got, the company that does this con gives you free admission to any of their future cons for one year, which means I'll be able to go to the Toronto Comic Con for free next year, woot ^_^
Anyways, for Fan Expo, I am most excited about the fact that these people are going:
NATHAN FILLION (I have been obsessed with Castle lately)
KARL URBAN (He was in Lord of the Rings AND Star Trek! Major Fantasy and Sci Fi points!)
NICHELLE NICHOLS and GEORGE TAKEI (from the original Star Trek. This needs no further explanation)
LENA HEADEY (from Game of Thrones!!! Love Game of Thrones, it's fun to hate her character)
The Ashmore Brothers (They've been in several tv shows and movies including X-Men)
ELIAS TOUFEXIS (Already met him at a Supernatural con, and he's super nice. It would be cool to see him again)
I doubt it will be possible to interact with all of them, but I so want photos with at least a few of them.