So my dad made me stop x-mass shopping so I could hang lights then got pissed off and yelled at me and junk because i almost fell off a letter and almost broke a freacken Santa like wtf I was falling off a latter you ass
So he is okay and didn't hurt himself or get hurt and I'm really happy about that
Today my family is like taking all there anger out on me and my grandmother divided while telling my mother she is a nasty bitch with her attitude she said your whole family is then she looked at me and said including you when I didn't say nothin and did everything she asked me to like they just made me feel do horrible about myself it sucks ass :'( like I want to now what I did to her stupid ass
Douchbag just hade to fucking make that comment and make me feel worthless I think ima go cry myself to sleep :'( I wish I new were my pocket knife or something was in such a bleh mood.
And two my good friends and one I care a lot about got hurt today and I feel so bad I couldn't help at all and I can't take care of them and I feel like I'm the worst for that
I hand my mom baking soda and she knocks it over and spills buttermilk all over my dads new Rachel ray cook book and she yells what the hell brooke like 2 mins after I handed it to her and she put it on the table and then he yelled at me for it :/ since I don't pay fucking attention when I hand it over when I watched her put it on the table
Then my mom tells me put the cloths in the dryer and start a new load so I do what she tells me to do and then I come back up stairs without the cloths she's like did you bring them up I was like no you told me to put it in the dryer she was like no I told you to bring it up I was like when she was like when you went down well it's like you don't tell im not gonna hear you dumb ass :/
I swear I can do everything they tell me to do and it will never be good enough for them I will always do the wrong things I guess this is so getting on my nerves with them
I wish I was skinny, I wish I hade big boobs even though everyone says I do, I wish I hade a bigger butt, i just want people to see me for me and not as someone else there is so much I wish I could change
I woke with tears in my eyes from this, so I was at home in my bathroom in the bathtub then I pulled a blade from off the floor then I slowly slide it across my wrist a few time cutting it deep into my wrist, then it goes all black then I wake again in a bright white room that happens to be in a hospital, and I start crying for a few of my best guy friends that I have then they all come and hug me tight one at a time and I cry more saying I'm sorry that I didn't mean for all this and they all just told me it as okay, my female bestie ends up running in and hugging me tight then someone he nows who he is shows up and I cry more holding him tight as he hugs me and I'm saying sorry he kisses me sweetly saying its okay then. I wake from my dream crying
so last nikght my grams and bro were in my room watching tv i was fine with that if he goes in there once in a while, then the glow stick he was playing with poped so i made him go wash his hands and my grand mother goes "you are such a mother hen" i look at her and say "ya well i dont want him getting sick or anything cuz i willl have to take care of him." and so she walks away then her and him are in my room again and my bro and her are laghing at how it glows and i wlk in and its all over my floor and rabbits cage and i look at her and sorta flip "you didn't clean that up are you serios right now?" she looks at me "no i didn't why should i?" i look at her and get so mad "no shit you should so no one steps in it and so my fucking rabbit wont die god dammit how stupid can you be....." she stalks off pissed "dont got to be such a bitch" she says when she comes back i shake my head and take my brother out of my room cuz i hade to feed him dinner and like i wanted to kill her and this morning she refusses to say a word to me. and im at the point im about ready to kick her the hell out of my room so i can sleep in my bed again then sleep on the floor.
Mood: alot of diffrent ones Music: animal i have become