I have this constant need to prove to people what they mean to me.
And I'm definitely not ready to say "I Love you" to my boyfriend, so we come up with an alternative.
We "Lamp" each other.
This comes from being drunk, deaf and quoting Anchorman.
Instead of being "I Love Lamp" it was "I Lamp you"
so thats what we say to each other, i hope it catches on!
they may only be that way to you though, and i agree its alright to be gay. hell im bi-sexual and fucking proud of it!!!!!! also im obbssessed with BOTDF, its even my computer password at school X3
Right,
so to all those who actually read this.
I'm so fucking happy right now.
I have the most wonderful boyfriend ever!
and it's even better because i dont have to travel miles to see him,
and he buys me food, and we genuinely just enjoy each other's company.
I dont have this constant need to know what he's doing or be with him, because he makes me feel so good about myself.
I'll wake up in the morning to messages from him saying "hope you slept well beautiful"
And when I finish work i have messages saying similar things but about work.
I won't go into specifics for the sake of being discreet. However, I had put a lot of time and faith into an endeavor and it seems like it's not going to happen for me. I feel as if I'm doomed to repeat these mistakes and yes some of what transpired was my doing and not any other party's fault. I put too much stock in things that aren't set in stone. It's a bad habit of mine. None the less, I am heart broken and feel this is the beginning of my end in certain arenas.
I guess all there is left to do is write bitter songs about what I've experienced my whole life as I've done so a million times before. Some may never see the light of day and some will. It's a process. And I intend to keep that one process alive no matter what life throws at me. I will make this band or another project of mine successful and it'll be grand. Not for money, because no one is getting paid well in the music industry anymore, but for the satisfaction that my music is reaching a group of people. It's not for everyone but hell, what is these days? I'm trying to stay optimistic in the face of sheer doubt. It's a daunting experience I'm not gonna lie.
I hope those that know me will continue to fight on my side as comrades in arms, friendship and common interests as well as similar mindsets. For those of you that get it, I am truly grateful. I hope I can make something of this band to share in the wealth of status with my dear friends, electronic and real life. You guys mean the world to me and you know who you are. Everyone else can keep doubting, it'll make it all the sweeter when they're proven wrong.
Thanks for reading as always and thanks for all the support and kind words my peeps have left on my page so far. I'm also looking to possibly add some musicians to my bands roster. Primarily a singer (female preferred), guitarist, bassist and other producers like myself for more heads to send this collective into orbit. If interested, you must be in Illinois (Chicago or Chicago suburbs only) or be able to work over the net to get things done via Dropbox and Sound Cloud. I hope I find some interesting folks that are down to do so. I could use the new blood to invigorate my process. Thanks again.
Art, be it music or visual, is often a good outlet for these things. I find it helpful to sketch or create something when I am feeling like this, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way Sending hugs from across the ocean!
Too many unknown terrorists spamming
lobster
Sending hugs from across the ocean!
I thought we were friends dave 
Asian woman are pretty :3
