I can't do this anymore. Act like I'm okay. All I want is him. I miss his hazel eyes, his sweet voice, his dirty blonde hair, that cute laugh. How he's willing to take care of me when everyone else forgets me. The way we can talk about anything that comes to mind. How I can be myself with him & not worry about being perfect. How me & him can just talk about sex, nightmares, fears, basically anything. I told him what happened to me when I was 4, my nightmares, my sex dreams of him & we're still so close. I love how I feel when I talk to him. Its so.. natural. How we can take the awkward moments & turn it into something meaningful. He even got to meet my little sister Kayla. I can trust him with anything. I know he will protect me. He's everything I could ever want. I love him. I miss him calling me "Love" or "My Butterfly", those random times I called him, when I called him at school & he talked to my weird friends, when my little brother said "Hi" to him, when he would sing me to sleep, when I would stay up late to talk to him or he would stay up late to talk to me. Our future we created together sounded so perfect & it would actually work out.
All the money he got paid for work for 2-3 years would be put towards buying us a house. For 2-3 years because that is when I would graduate(I will be 18 & legally able to leave my parents house). I would take the money I got for my graduation & all the other money I saved over the few years to help with our house. Our first date would be a camping trip, & we would have a Timber Wolf puppy named Bane. I am going to be his house wife, while he goes off to work & what not. So much else was planned, but I'm crying writing this. So I'll just stop there.
I miss him so much, just everything about him. Seeing the ceiling tile I made for him everyday at school just tears me apart. I already asked them to take it down & they told me no. I really fucked up. Even now I still feel like I'm cheating on him. I don't want to move on. I'd rather feel miserable knowing I had someone so perfect like him, than pretend to be happy with someone else. I miss you Sean, so very much. Of course you don't care what I say. I just needed to get some of these things off my mind I suppose..
Mood: dead. Music: Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird American Mouth
Of course, I gave in to him. I'm so stupid. I wish I never met him in the first place. "I love you, I miss you" feeding me all these lies to make me feel like shit. Well fuck you. I wasted so much time on you.
I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's not like anything
When you're loving me..
If your on my friends list, and online message me.
I don't care if my profile says ' Invisible' ill still message back. So if your on and don't talk to me ever, or anything ill fucking delete you cause im tired of barely anyone messaging me.
Please and thank you.
I love the sun but it hates me D: it gives me rashes makes me sick blurres my vision hurts feeld.... prickley and painful and itchy and painful ect.... I know people who only wish to b like this... but y? Its soo horrible!!!!
My ReWrite of "She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty"
May 05, 2013, 10:21:pm
If you call me at all
Don't tell me that you're ordinary
Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave
And if you tell me you're listening to all those other hoes
Turn off this light, I'll call your name
Don't talk, let me ride
Who wouldn't let it be all about,
All about you
I promise that we'll work this out
So you call me at all
Don't tell me that you're ordinary
Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave
And if you tell me you're listening to all those other hoes
If you call me at all
Oh, I hear you breathing on the line
Oh baby please, I'm just your type
You keep me begging every night
And hoping you be back
I wouldn't let you be all alone
I wouldn't let you be all alone
Just make me scream ohh to a soft pillow
You're such an animal
And sweetie honestly I need you here with me
Don't tell me that you're ordinary
Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave
And if you tell me you're listening to all those other hoes
If you call me at all
If you call me at all
Don't tell me that you're ordinary
Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave
And if you tell me you're listening to all those other hoes
If you call me at all
Mood: <3 Music: She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty
I'm extremely bored right now. .-.
Headache, laying around, sick . ;c
I'm craving Matt right now, </3
And I've had a total boner for You me at six lately. e.e
Messages to help un-bore me? o.o
Pleaseeee? (:
Mood: just lovely . e-e Music: Loverboy - You me at six
but I'll shoot an inbox anyway 
And here's some advice on cutting it... DON'T CUT IT!
I think I've raped about all of your pictures. o.o
