I havent told that many people but i was once put in mental hospital 2 times. I they both started because i had a bestfriend, she was a satanist and tryed to kill me and rape me. i came home with bruises, my mom asked what happened, so i told the truth. she had been bulling me for about a year, she would hit me and try to touch me without consent i would fight her off but one night she would have had enough and i was scared for life. i finally fell asleep and she got on top off me and started strangling me. but thats not all i also at that time was a witch for almost 5 months and my mom found out and said it wasnt natuaral and she wouldnt support it. i felling into a deep depression and tryed to kill myself and i also cut myself because i love the pain. they are lucky i only tried to kill myself because there is a voice inside my head telling me to kill almost everyone. the voice was named shirly, she was 6 but very intelligent, she is what caused this madness.
Kicked out of my house again because someone actually spoke up against my Grandmother for her constant belittlement of everything I do or own. Long story short: Everything I own is either stupid, childish, or unnecessary and I am not aloud to say anything because it is my Grandmother's house and she paid for it. She thinks when this all happened that it was me and my friend being a smartass when all we were doing was watching Figure Skating and she disrespected it, and the fact we were watching it. And apparently, it's my fault I don't have a job right the second she says something, even though we've went up to Temp agencies and I fill out applications for anything I am able to. Pardon me if I want some say over the things I have in a place I also live in.
Well, well, well. .. Fuck.
November 24, 2014, 01:23:am
I'm at my best friend's house. She's the one who talked back against my grandmother. :l It's been a long time coming, but because I live in an area where Jobs are seriously one of the hardest things to come by, I can't exactly jump ship and spread my wings, ya know? So. Yeah. I've run off until she cools down from having everything put into perspective.
Well, well, well. .. Fuck.
November 24, 2014, 01:29:am
I know that feel though. Something similar to that happened to me about a year or so ago. As long as you're okay and nothing bad has become of you. We can only hope she'll cool her old lady jets and realize what she demands of you is very unrealistic compared to where you are.
Every fear you have... I'll chase them away... ((Female/Mature/PICKY))
November 24, 2014, 12:59:am
Dammmed if you do.. |Basics|
Gabriel (has no last name but tells people it's Alexander)
About 1,500 years old
210 pounds of mostly muscle
Natural Hair Color:
Black/Dark brown in some light
Current Hair Color:
Black/Dark brown in some light
Short, just past his ears
Blue, teal when he's angry
Tall and muscular with broad shoulders.
A small cross on his left inner wrist.
Gabriel is very protective of the soul he's been sent to watch over to prove himself worthy of heavan again. He's very stand-off-ish at first, but once he gets to know someone he's very friendly. Gabriel is very religious, he does not drink, swear, or disrespect anyone. His place in heaven was taken from him on a loving mistake, he fell in love and wanted to start a family, but God did not want it and Gabriel lost his place in the clouds. But, God gave him a task, to find, protect and guide one soul throughout her travels on the Earth. Even with all of this, he is incredibly stubborn if you don't do the things he says, he will play mind games until he gets what he needs done.
Gabriel is very physically strong, he's able to life a full size van without wincing. He's very fast, he can out run a very mad dog. He can go weeks without eating, unless you want him crabby.
Gabriel is a hopeless romantic, he has many human emotions and often goes by them when he's around her.
When Gabriel gets mad, his wings unfold from his back which gives him the ability to fly. His eyes turn teal which allows him to see in the dark and see heat singatures. He is able to heal, but if God wishes it, it does not work.
Gabriel started next to God. The day that God made Earth for humans, Gabriel was 'born'. He sat at God's left hand, Michael at his right. They watched over the people of the Earth for years. Gabriel had seen it all, wars, sickness and poverty, but he knew why God did nothing about those things. He also knew that the people who innocently died from those, would come back. Gabriel did his job very well, until he met a woman named Cherri.
Gabriel and Michael where allowed to visit Earth to bring the lost souls to their place, among their loved ones. Gabriel stumbled apon a young, black haired female that was sitting in an alley way, shivering and cold. She looked beaten up and scared. They soon fell in love, Gabriel visiting Earth often to see her. When he wanted to marry her and have a family, God was furious. God said no and banished Gabriel to Earth. Gabriel ended up marrying Cherri, but with his immortality, she died in his arms at the age of 85.
Then, God came to him, bidding him to do work to prove himself worthy of returning. Gabriel gladly accepted.
The night was cold, crisp and it was only going to get colder. Gabriel was sitting upon a roof, watching through the window of another teenage her. Gabriel knew that she was in a dark place, he talked to her every night, keeping her on the Earth. She came to the window, pushing it open and looking at him, tears streaming down her face, her eyeliner and mascara streaked down her lovely face.
Within seconds Gabriel was standing in the room, holding the small brunette female, trying to calm her. He reached over, closing the window with one hand, keeping her to him with the other. He slowly sat her on the bed, letting her cling to him.
"Shhh... I'm here now." He said, knowing that the world was so cruel to her. "Hey, go take a shower and I'll pick a movie, alright?" He said, lightly lifting her chin, smiling at her with soft eyes.
She nodded, signing 'alright.' before she stood and moved into the bathroom.
Gabriel sighed, rubbing his forehead. This time, she had been born without the ability to speak, but Gabriel didn't care. He did as he had promised, going to the TV stand and picking out one that always made her laugh. He slid it into the player and slowly settled himself onto the bed, listening and waiting for the water to turn off and for her to join him.
Almost an hour passed and he slowly got up. Her showers rarely ever lasted more than 45 minutes. He slowly knocked on the bathroom door, waiting to see her appear. Something didn't sit right with him. He slowly pushed open the door. What he found, she was laying in the tub, the water all around her red with blood. The cuts on her wrist were deep and the look on her face was of bliss.
Gabriel let out a yell, pulling her nude body from the water, craddling he and pressing his hands to the wounds, his hands glowing gold as he tried to heal her. He closed his eyes, whispering prayer after prayer until he felt her last heart beat.
...dammed if you don't.
***I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DENY OR ASK YOU TO CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER AROUND, DO NOT TEST ME***
-Between the ages of 19-23
-Very kind, sweet and wise beyond her years
-Blonde or ginger (NO TAYLOR SWIFT)
-No scene or emo pictures, I will accept alternative style (If you're not sure about the picture, just inbox it to me and I'll decide.
-She can have a messed up past, just nothing as big as rape or an overly abusive parent(s)
-Other than that, you can make her how ever you want.
-And to make it clear, the last part of his history is the last time she was on Earth.
I dance in a somber sway, a sway all known of my own, erratic concept of livid corruption is all i've known... 1,2.. 1,2.. 1,2... I combat my aggression... 1,2,3... 1,2,3... 1,2,3... my being enhanced by the chills of a unknown vindication.. internal being hath no wrath of one's hell, I truly know I don't mend well here of this destination.. 1,2,3,4... 1,2,3,4... roundhouse with all my might... I can sense it... a lost in a furry I cannot comprehend.. unraveling , composure slipping, & i'm failing .. i'm failing!... dammit.. my breathe escaping me, my vessel oozing success , hindering performance...
No! I cannot... will not.. no... never..
Axe right, crescent , side kick to the gut - in that order - useless.... No!... I get taken to the ground... I open my eyes...
i'm in a forest... My vision does not avaid me .. the beasts are here! Abreast the woods!... oh yes, confrontation .. oh dear the beasts... the hair on my skin erect.. hehe... smothered in a warm layer of blood smeared across my constricted grin...
"All of you, aye?"... beneath my breath. A fog thy shadows engulfing me, decrypted shadows amongst pitch darkness. The faces, no eyes, fangs, scrawny malnourished .. wildly grinning upon each step..
I rest myself in silence... I let the darkness rage war within me.. these creatures now rushing towards me consuming me whole... shit.. my body begins to quiver... NO!.... I cannot... will not...
It is too late... you are too late.. it's too late! it's too fucking late!!..
Now it compels me... the mad man they claim to be..
I grin.. for only I know, where the wild things are... The bewildered self , never thy best for not even thy... hahahahahaha.... One of us will die here tonight...
I havent been to the doctor in three years.
I havent let someone touch me in 2 months
I haven't talked to him in 2 months
I havent taken my pills in 3 days, and honestly i want to rip my skin off when someone gets close enough to touch.
I'm sick of having to take double the perscribed dosage just for them to work.
I'm tired of thinking hat you did to me was my fault.
I'm sick of getting sick everytime i think of what you did.
I just want someone to know how i feel..
I know you guys dont care but.. writing helps.. a little
Laying in bed
never able to sleep
watching the shadows of my demons
slowly gliding across my wall
just waiting for them to reach in
and pull out my soul
leaving me nothing but an empty shell
what they don't know
is i'm already there
a transparent vapor
of the girl i used to be
how i wish i could be like that again
but i never liked that person either
yet i hate whatever i am now
tears of pain
of warm regret
run down my face
as i silently wish for death
that will never come
so i close my eyes
i try to sleep
hoping for complete darkness in my dreams
but knowing i deserve the pain
that haunts me every night
it's the end of the road
i'm starting to face the truth
but for tonight i'll try to forget
until tomorrow when i lay my head down
when my demons escape
from the little metal box i keep them in
I just remembered, hideo kojimas going to be in las vegas in two weeks for the video game awards. the next two days following is sony playstations biggest game convention yet, got my tickets already for it.
HIDEO. KOJIMA. METAL GEAR. OH IF I CAN MEET THIS GOD AND GET AN AUTOGRAPH :CIRCLES