It's Insane Saturday and I decided to share a bit about a thoroughly insane character you'll meet in "Rahasya" (Book 3 of the Tome Series) - IzumrudLezviye!
Physical Description: 5'7", slender, long white hair, emerald green eyes
Race: Pure-blooded Tien
Rank: bez khozaina (masterless), shadow guard presently in the service of Shadowmancer Zlokachestvennyi
Weapon: wakizashi with an emerald green blade and grip
Lover to Malinovyy Lezviye, in a sharp contrast to typical Tien she worships the ground he walks on
Personality: split -
Izumrud (the shadow guard and the sanest)
Proud, is of the mindset 'survival of the fittest' and 'to the victor go the spoils', has a penchant for attacking in combat from the side, and a complete lack of fear when facing death
Iz (the mind of a murderous five year old girl)
A frightened child with no instinct to fight, she desires to kill what she loves to keep it from leaving her, sees Malinovyy as her protector
Emerald (homicidal, bloodthirsty maniac)
Aggressive, self-appointed 'protector' of the other two, is a gleeful hack-and-slasher, charges when fighting, has a blood-lusting nature, wants only to kill (including Malinovyy), seeks death.
When Izumrud was five years old, her shadow fortress was attacked and everyone in it was killed. The subsequent severing of her shadow links to them shattered her mind. When she was intentionally blinded by a 'shade' spell during the attack, her shattered psyche further diverged into the three distinct personalities of herself, Iz, and Emerald.
~ Character copyright AJ Culpepper 2016
~ Image courtesy of pinterest.com
Starving and thirsty
My heart withers and weakens
Struggling to feed this hunger ever growing.
Silent is this place, not a sound.
In the distance I see red.
Red growing brighter as it approaches.
A feminine curvy figure approaching me.
On a night so plain, so dark, so pitiful
Yet she's so...red...
A bright luscious red so sweet.
Beauty that haunts dreams.
A nightmare that wakes you constantly wanting...lusting for.
Her heart beat is a symphony to my ears between her breast.
Taking her into my arms with skin so soft and tender.
Her neck covered and gripped by my hand.
With a kiss so warm...so thick...so sweet.
Awaken my dead heart to beat in rhythm with yours.
Fill my body with the passion and love you hold.
Her smile brightening up this place I call home.
Stay with me in this place of black and white
Yet she leaves me here wanting more.
That bright red pulsating glow fading in sight.
My Red Queen...meet me here tomorrow...
Breaking down and slowly dying; failing no matter how hard I'm trying. I'm so sick of all this pain. Leaving me hopeless heartless and drained. Wouldn't it be easier if u would just have left me be Instead u choose to slaughter me. U don't know what u have done. Ur words firing off a loaded gun. I wish our paths had never crossed. Innocent love the casualty cost.
Guys love attention just as much as Girls do, If not more. Just because we come off like we are these independent difficult complex creatures, we love female attention. Don't let any guy tell you different, he is lying period.
I am not going to lie my anxiety has been quite hard for me to deal lately. I have a good week or so of feeling better and then I find something on the internet that freaks me out. I don't feel like people really know what to say to me as they aren't me and don't have my anxiety. They don't know the right words to say to me when I'm anxious and my mind is thinking of what I'm anxious about over and over again like a broken record. They don't know what to say or do when my heart is beating very fast or when I'm crying about something that upset me. They don't know what to do when my breathing is heavy and I feel like it's too much. Once again they aren't me they don't think the same thoughts. I know there are others with anxiety and I know they find it hard as well. I can relate to them in some ways but I don't worry about what they worry about and I don't think what they think. Everybody is different I know it's stating the obvious. I don't know anyone that I have met face to face who has health anxiety. I haven't met anyone who uses Google to there unfortunate disadvantage to look up there so called "symptoms" and think they have a disease. Why can't I be like anyone else faced with health anxiety and just not go on Google? It's easy enough to do you just don't Google anything health related. I thought I had cancer recently because of some "symptom" I was having so I went to the doctor and he said I don't. I haven't on Google as much. I have been on Facebook and now some of my friends are posting about diseases and world events that I worry and stew about. I can't even go on Facebook without seeing something that worries or concerns me. I feel angry at myself for feeling terrified when nothing has happened to me and in this moment I'm still alive and I'm not dead. I need to learn how to cope....