Thank you for all of your suggestions regarding the forthcoming VF code rewrite. Just to keep you updated and engaged, here's a list of the most popular features you've requested so far.
1- An automated feature that causes anyone sending an image of erect male sexual organs to a recipient who has not already "friended" them to be attacked by enraged bees.
2- The following gif to be automatically posted as the first comment every time Noodles1234 posts a journal entry about social issues-
The second comment will then be a dictionary definition of the word "Stereotype".
3- Anyone registering a new profile and "hilariously" selecting their age as 69 gets the following message- "I uderstand this means I will be unable to communicate with over half the users of this site, but hey! I'm the kind of guy that just clicks away warnings without reading them like a free-wheeling loose cannon who doesn't play by the rules".
4- Removal of the VF coding bug that causes a rift in the space-time continuum and drastically affects the behaviour of time specifically concerning the issue of when Asylum hair dye will get shipped.
5- Replace the VF logo on the front page with a big picture of Jet in a BooBah onesie.
6- A small corner of every page to bear a tiny, flashing gif of the word "Zewe". It won't achieve anything, but boy will it make him feel special. And that happiness and love will infuse the spirit of everything he does, so the staff might, just might, be able to stop yelling at him.
7- All VF design cults must bear the following message prominently- "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And blatant copy/paste is the sincerest form of imitation".
8- Role-play cults. No. Just no. No.
9- The staff of all VF's beauty cults to be independently assessed by an impartial team of experts to determine whether they actually meet the criteria they refuse entry to others on.
10- Any posts about the nature and qualities of Goth music must require the sender to listen to the complete solo works of Rozz Williams and Premature Ejaculations before their post will actually send. Note from staff- we suspect this was only actually requested by one person, but he requested it 8,235,114 times.
11- Automated coding feature that causes anyone throwing a tantrum on the Body Mods forum about others using the word "gauging" instead of "stretching" to just grow up and get a sense of proportion.
12- When anyone posts a journal, cult post or forum post announcing that they are leaving VF forever, the response "Who are you?" should be immediately posted next.
13- After getting banned from the forums, users should be directed to a self-help webpage giving them advice on how to write their inevitable journal post. This should focus on helping them get just the right level of wounded bitterness while still emphasising the point that they really don't care and they're really laughing quite hard about it all, and also stress how the forums will really do downhill in their absence. A section for advanced users will cover the incorporation of social critique covering elitism and the inevitable corruption that results from wielding any level of authority.
14- All entries resulting from number 13 (above) to be preserved for future generations in a section of VF called "Hall of Whimpering" where they'll get briefly laughed at, and then forgotten.
15- Did we mention role-play cults? Still no. Bleh. No.
16- A panel of experts drawn from all fields of VF to be convened in order to discuss and finally setttle the question of whether "Writhe and Shine" is supposed to be funny or not.
17- The forums to be left alone, forever. For those who dwell there are a strange and ancient species will simply crumble into dust if ever exposed to the cruel light of change.
18- Actually, that's a lie. They'll bitch about it. And when old-school forum users start bitching about something, they never, ever back down. It's like watching a mighty mountain getting casually eroded down into gravel, atom by atom. "Yeah, you might say that now, but in 80 trillion years we'll still be here and we'll still be bitching at you. And you'll cry". For the love of God, just don't do it.
19- All VF visual images to be designed by Chalupacabra and tenzin from Death Horse, after first filling them both to the brim with tequila and these bad boys-
20- Any use of the word "feminazi" will see the user automatically redirected to Tumblr and just left there. To rot.
21- Whenever anyone posts a journal going "WHY OH WHY OH WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO POST PICTURES OF THEMSELVES SEMI-NAKED ON VF, IT'S DIRTY AND IT FRIGHTENS ME" they should just get the automated response "Because breasts".
22- VF to automatically ban the under-18s
23- VF to automatically ban the over-30s
24- VF to automatically ban any who is pervy.
25- VF to automatically ban any who is not Goth enough.
26- Where's Jet? Oh! He got automatically banned!
27- Fuck it. Automatically ban everyone who doesn't correspond exactly to my own narrow set of values.
28- Why can't I submit number 27 (above)? Oh! I got automatically banned!
29- The producers and crew of the disappointingly popular TV "Reality" (yeah, right) show "Catfish" to be abducted and forced, at gunpoint, to base the entire next season on VF. And prominently feature "Fuck the Mainstream" products in every shot. Note from staff- I think this came from Jet's i.p.
30- Anyone using reasoning like "You disagree with my views on social and political issues? You must be FAT! FATTY FATTY FAT FAT!" should be automatically presented with an image of a human brain-
- and gently advised to try using it.
31- A five year moratorium to be imposed, preventing anyone registering usernames containing the word "dark" or submitting any image of human nipples being covered by electrical tape. Any complaints about these issues will be automatically redirected the the dictionary definition of "cliché".
32- Receiving any invitation to join an application-only cult will guarantee admittance and prevent banning or deletion of the user's posts for a 7-day grace period. That should dick them up quite nicely.
33- All of M 's videos should be featured on the VF front page. It must happen. And, yea, it shall be glorious.
34- "Random Thoughts" to be renamed "Bitterness and reaction gifs".
35- Did we mention the role-play cults?
Loads of great stuff that can be implemented there. Keep those suggestions coming in.
VF Code re-write- your suggestions
December 12, 2014, 12:38:pm
Oh look who it is the Dumbass who bitches at women because he gets denied by so many. Maybe you should whipe the rest of your dads sperm off your mouth before opening your mouth. Fatuglydumbdaddyfucker
Instead of uploading a picture of your junk and inboxing it to a few women who will inevitably make hilarious out of proportion journals crying about it,
why not just create a cult and put your cock as the invite?
I mean think about it.
Individually messaging a handful of bitches takes time and effort and right from the first one, you're as good as reported and deleted. Every precious second counts after that first shot is fired.
Even an incredibly dedicated vampireflasher can only hope to get out a few dozen per account on a good day, what with presumably having to cycle through hordes of hideous women to find ones that do it for you, culling the herd til only the truly worthy remain. And then it becomes a matter of having to further filter out those with age restriction settings incompatible with the random birthdate you chose, and besides that, your default is likely a picture of your wang too, so that countdown-to-ban starts as soon as you so much as view a premium girl, even before you've launched your first one.
It's inefficient and wasteful, is what I'm saying.
And that's where this journal comes in.
Creating a cult takes all of 8 seconds. Here's a guide for informational purposes only:
1. Click here and fill in the cult name (just smack your keyboard), select a genre (any works, though this guide recommends "Roleplaying") and click Create.
2. There is no step 2. That's it. You're done. 8 seconds, tops.
From there it's just a simple matter of clicking the preset Invite Members link - you can't miss it - and throwing the code for your johnson into the big box at the bottom, checking off the "Save invite text" box, and from there you're whisked right off to a screen where you can select the lucky demographic who you will be gracing with your schlong today, right down to age, location, distance from you, etc. It's gold.
And you can bang out two fucking hundred of these bad boys per cult per account at a rate of an ungodly twenty dick pics per single click. All in a matter of maybe 45 seconds, from the moment your new account is created to finish.
If you run multiple accounts, you can even have them all create their own cults and join each others, sending absolute swarms of pixelpenis to literally thousands of your preferred flavor of vampiregirl, all in a matter of a few minutes.
Sure would be a fuck of a lot more productive than inboxing them one at a time to people, no?
for even more exposure of your indecent exposure, try uploading a dick pic to your gallery and just going down the list of Online Members and tagging them in it by the dozen!
Mood: the above post is but a thought exercise Music: the zewe foundation does not condone violating the synth-tec tos
A thought on unsolicited dick pics
December 12, 2014, 12:09:pm
Hehehe Thanks for making the VF pervs more efficient than ever. You found a demographic that's not too bright and improved their *ahem* small, little lives greatly. You deserve a prize or something. I definitely had a laugh or two. Thanks, it's been a long day.
I can't figure out why it bothers some individuals when I rate them or give props to their picture - that seems to bother some individuals. I do not contact them or ask for anything. I simply rate and move on without a word - so what is the problem ? My age (in my opinion) - that's the problem and it's a shame that they feel that way. But I don't care. If you post a picture that's good - I will give it props - if you have a profile page that appears good - I will rate it. I also give Premium memberships to those I consider should have one. That's my choice - I have no one to spend my money on - makes me feel good. And when I do - I still ask for nothing it return - nothing. I wish all would get past my age - I mean no harm. Just enjoying life and trying to make a few friends along the way.
i have looked around that is the lowest price i have seen these, Jet could be right they could be undercutting the markup trying to sell it cheaper than wholesale. but i have seen it elsewhere for $30-60 IMO i would say that if anything Jet is giving you a fairly good deal at $40-45. i think the markup price is abit high can't kid ourselves retail price is $44 from hemet. they have it on sale for $35.
I go to random profiles and I see something along the lines of...
"Do not ask me for nudes,sexting, dirty skyping ext. bla bla bla I'm a dumb bitch"
What you women don't seem to understand is, we as men do not require your nudity to reach our sexual gratification. in fact we can establish the desired effect on the tip of your nose with your modestly covered body without any additional effort on our end. We may enjoy your nudity...but this is not a requirement. so forgive me as I fap to your pictures anyways you self-effacing puritan whore.
Fucking agreed. Normally girls think when I ask to talk to them on kik etc they think its for pic trading and have had them outright tell me that, but other shit is easier than using VF as a sole means of communication.
Because some girl I was talking to at the time did not get a timely reply from me because I made the god awful mistake of falling asleep. She decided to send me about 20+ messages in the time I was sleeping freaking out and spazzing with all kinda of crazy shit that freaked me out, so I told her hey wow this is a little crazy. She power bombed me, down rated me, and seems like she got a few of her friends to do it too.No big deal lol, if people want to hold it against me they can, and they have. Has not stopped some actual great people from talking to me. This is literally the first time I have ever been power bombed in my time on VF.