When you click the link for a YouTube video and realise there's a 30-second advert to sit through first, do you go "Oh boy! My cup runneth over!"?
When you get a phonecall and it turns out to be a "Steve" (clearly short for "Steveaneesh Ramaputra from Chennai") who's really keen to tell you about how you are lucky enough to qualify for a special deal on loft insulation, does your gusset become moister than the Mediterranean?
And do you click on "Top Journals" going "Oh, boy, oh boy! I hope it's ADVERTS today!"? And, on seeing them, do you spontaneously spray so much semen over your keyboard that you'll never manage to get the space bar working properly again?
The chance are that you probably don't. Sure, there probably are some sick freaks out there who love that sort of stuff but they're probably on a par with those who like having their scrotums impaled on stiletto heels. They are welcome to their odd little world, but let's not try assuming it should be inflicted on the wider mass of humanity, right?
When you put a cult banner on VF and prop it up the rankings, I'd guess maybe 1 in a thousand to 1 in ten thousand might just think about joining. The remaining 999 to 9999 will, for a fleeting instant, think you're a twat. The drip-drip effect of this on your place in the collective sphere of consciousness must be devastating. Frankly, if you're considering filling up Top Journals with cult banners you might as well get out a permanent marker pen and write "Basically, I'm a cunt" across your forehead.
Admittedly, if someone turned that into a picture and lodged it in a cult banner, I might just join their cult.
disregard the following wall of text
jet is beautiful
here is a haiku instead
everyone loves jet
so handsome so strong so rad
what a super guy
bring back the alienfinger emote
bring it back right now
or horrific, dire catastrophe will befall this website and each and every one one of its members and their families and friends and pets and at least their next three generations of descendants
people will no longer say
"theres gonna be hell to pay"
"theres gonna be vampirefreaks.com in march 2014 to pay"
and then theyll shoot themselves like ten times because even the thought of what will happen is too horrific to live with
anti-suspension disclaimer: in case this wasnt clear from threatening pets and future generations over the loss of an emote none of this aside from the plea itself is to be taken seriously please dont suspend me for obvious hyperbole again thanks ily xoxoxo
EDIT: WHY IS ELEPHANT GONE TOO OHMYFUCKINGGOD REALLY LOOK AT ALL THE SHITTY FAGGOT GAY ASS SHITTY EMOTES YOU DID RETAIN - AND ALL THE TERRIBLE FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU JUST ADDED AND YOU GET RID OF TWO OF THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE FUCKING THINGS ON HERE??????????????????????
YOU WILL BECAUSE LIKE THIS CULT IS TOTALLY AWESOME AND I'M GETTING POINTS FOR LIkE SPAMMING MY FRIENDS1111!!
SO LIKE JOIN SO I CAN LIKE RECRUIT YOU BECAUSE I'M FUCKING AWESOME AND TOTALLY NOT YOUR MOM PRETENDING TO BE A MAN ON THE INTERNET.
I'm honestly about to downprop recurring promo journals, even if you're my "friend" because friends don't let friends be weekly dickwads.
I am Sin.
I think too much.
I talk too much.
I hide too much.
I laugh too little.
I love too hard.
I feel too deeply.
I am too passionate.
I need too much.
I indulge too often.
I care too much;
I don't care at all.
I am too kind,
Yet not kind enough.
I trust too easily,
Yet I do not trust at all.
I am contradictory,
And I am okay with all of it.
I am Sin, and I am Unpardonable.
So I'm with Tamsin_Silver, writer and director of Skye, at build-a-bear workshop making 2 black bears. (Mines a darth vader bear) And the cashier recognizes her vf hoodie and then informs us he's a fan of Skye of the Damned and asked for my autograph.