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megawatkins

wrote on
November 12, 2011, 03:55pm

You know it's Ironic...read if you want
Here I am, 18, young, promising future, posting a classfied on the personals on VF trying to find another love, when years ago when I was 14 found it, His name was Bruno, and lived some where in canada I can't rememeber where. I'm doubtful that I even remember the day, no wait, I do, it was Labor day, no school then.....well long story after two years of emailing each other, we broke up under harsh cirumstances that I care not to relive, and it was rough on me, though out most of last two years I lived in a daze, I found another, but he didn't loved me as passionately as bruno did even though I half convinced myself that I was in love with him, most of the time with out realizing I compared him to bruno, the way he adressed me, the way he acted to me, even when we made love memories of him haunted me. I always felt his shadow casting over the relationship, though try as I might to remain content, disastisfaction always lingered. I felt alone in anothers embrace, I felt oddly alone, then it ended this month, he left me and I cried. It was how ever empty crying, like crying out not in true pain but shock of sudden and unexpected change. I cried only an hour and there was no pain, could it be that I didn't truely love him? I think so, I can't really say I was happy about it, but life didn't seem like an endless bleak expanse of time of lonliness and sadness, in fact I can even say it was relief..

Mood: hopeful

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