Ok yeah, I'll admit it, I'm pissed to high heavens. Whilst my darling ex enjoys his life as an unemployed loser and mopes after his ex girlfriend, he misses out on valuable time with my daughter. Yes. My daughter. Providing sperm does not give you the right to call yourself a father. I saw the other week him whining about missing his ex on here. I also witnessed her, someone who didn't like me until we cleared the air a few days after I saw that, ripping him a new one for saying that about her but not bothering with his daughter.
Of course somehow it's all my fault.
He's seen her TWICE. She was born in october. First time by choice, second time by force as he was being all emo about his ex.
He's bought her NOTHING.
Now. That bit is apparently my fault because back in February when I was all of 6 weeks pregnant I found he had been flirting behind my back. Long story short, argument ensued, his sister started yelling at me for yelling at him for doing that and so I, out of anger, said they were working class scum.
My actions apparently mean my daughter should suffer. It's also a known fact I used to have depression. That gives him the right to call me a headcase etc.
Now, near a year on, he's done nothing for this little girl. Not even 1 nappy. Of course he makes out to people I'm the big bad, or just keeps quiet about her so no one knows of her existence, but truth is, he hasn't contacted me since 20th December 2011. He doesn't care.
Now he's back on here, people saying he's awesome.
Those journal posts mentioning his lack of parental skills... vanished.
People tell me ignore it, move on.
But that bastard and his whole family have done NOTHING for MY daughter. His family haven't contacted, seen her, NOTHING.
They think WHY SHOULD THEY after a comment I made when getting shouted at a YEAR ago.
He thinks WHY SHOULD HE when I'll be dressing her in the nappies, items or using things such as pushchairs.
They also feel it's disgusting I refer to my partner as Daddy. My partner who spends time with Feena, money on her, feeds her, changes her.
I know people are looking at my profile at times. So now you know the truth.
There's a 3 month little girl asleep next to me right now who will always see her biological father as a stranger because he doesn't care.
People like him shouldn't be allowed any/more children because it's unfair on the child.
Feena Karlise, you know Mummy loves you and Daddy loves you. The man I mention here doesn't deserve to be related to you. Daddy loves you like his own.
You have friends and family who care about you deeply.
This is Mummy's burden to bear. Not yours. You will know the truth and I hope it won't make you sad. It's up to Mummy to bear the sadness and anger. You keep smiling darling. I will do my best to make you the happiest little girl in the world. Mood: Hell raising
Ahh it's brilliant having a web designer for a boyfriend. Now instead of tediously googling what I want to do and how to do it, I just have to say "babe I want X, Y, Z"... sorted. It's nice to be with someone caring and smart, who I can be immature around, have intellectual conversation with... someone who thinks I'm beautiful dolled up, and still gorgeous in pjs with bed hair.
Truly never been happier than I am with Steve.
The last few years have been an emotional roller coaster ride with one friend or partner or another, mistakes, wrong decisions... but I wouldn't change a thing. Pain led to better, then to pain, to other things, to Feena, to Steve.
And now, dare I say it, my life is perfect.
My daughter spends her days smiling and giggling.
My boyfriend works hard, is always looking for ways to better his career, and treats us brilliantly.
He is a true Daddy, born for the role, born to be there for Feena.
And for me too.
One little happy family here.
Forever! Mood: Chipper Music: Feena mumbling, Steve pacing, me typing
So 2012 started well, all great. Steve and I solid as a rock. Feena my little star of perfection...
Until last night.
Start to feel really tired, dizzy, throat feels funny.
Hi Ver! I'm tonsillitis. Happy new year!
Son of a motherfucking bitch. I do NOT want tonsillitis. I always get it really bad and can't have them removed. Already noticing white bits on them. Please, please, just be a mild sore throat or a cold. Don't destroy me and my routine.
Feena is pure perfection. Had her 2nd lot of jabs on thursday, took them like a trooper. Then we had a bath together. Friday didn't do much. And Daddy (my bf steve) is back today so she is cooing and giggling at him. I love that little girl more than life. Her smiles make me melt. She's pure perfection. I know I already said that but it's so true. Feena. Mummy loves you! Mood: Everything is Feena Music: Feena gurgles
