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smaug's Journal
Smaug's journal
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Love
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August 08, 2008, 04:56:pm
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Love is like a mental illness,
like an illusionary state of the mind.
It drives us mad 'till we go insane,
it makes us do things we regret.
Then what is it that makes love feel so great?
What is it more than plain hunger for lust?
It's the part of being together,
being there, just you and me.
Together we can forget the horrors,
all the horrors of this world.
And we'll forget everyone else,
it's just you and me.
No living person will meddle,
with the things we do.
That's what makes love so great,
that's why we risk the chance,
of being hurt,
being alone.
'Cause love is like a mental illness,
an illusionary state of the mind,
otherwise we wouldn't risk it.
Doyle
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You know who it's for
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July 05, 2008, 09:01:pm
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You've got nowhere to hide, and all bullshit aside
You've committed a terrible crime
You've stepped over the line and you'd better be running for your life
Fucked over again, I even called you a friend
A mistake I won't be repeating
I just don't understand how you can even continue to deny
You know why
(You don't remember why)
Don't you pretend that you don't know why
(You fucking parasite)
Because you're living through association that has been getting you high
You sell your soul for just a taste of my life
Now what a surprise, to discover the lies
You'll be telling again in no time
You just don't realize they'll come back and be fucking up your life
In trouble again, I just don't understand
This whole pattern that keeps repeating
You know you'll do it again and admit you can step into the light
You know why
(You don't remember why)
Don't you pretend that you don't know why
(You fucking parasite)
Because you're living through association that has been getting you high
You sell your soul for just a taste of my life
Determination has been running on high
No control, for just a taste of my life
Because your association has been getting you high
You sell your soul for just a taste of my life
Determination has been running on high
No control, for just a taste of my life
For just a taste of my life
You've got nowhere to hide and all bullshit aside
You've committed a terrible crime
You've stepped over the line and you'd better be running for your life
Music: Disturbed - Parasite
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CBA
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June 30, 2008, 02:25:pm
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It's been a while since I changed my VF. I haven't been on it much untill lately. There are reasons why I didn't use Vf that often anymore ofcourse, the same reason I'm gonna change a few things on it. I removed the text in the first box. I just can't be asked to do it now, but I promise I'll put some new things in it soon. Everything that's going on in my life lately... as if people would wanna read that but okay...
Untill then, you guys/galls will have to wait.
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Don't be blind, save yourself
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June 26, 2008, 06:18:am
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Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone’s when you
You’ve got to be strong
That’s when they call you in the night
He’s got your picture in his mind
He’s got your number on a paper
At his disposal anytime
Is it really true
Could you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who
Someone who
You met in a bar
The back of a car
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart
Cuz my self esteem
It’s been low
Go ahead and count,
It’s been lower than low
I know the feeling
Of it stealing life out from under me
Cuz I want to learn
Can you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn’t even remember your name
Did you save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
And loves me for me
Or give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name
Cuz I want to learn
Did you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Cherish your name
Cherish your name
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Remember and you might be welcomed
Amongst the heartless monsters you surround yourself with
Feeding off the pain and misfortune of others
A maniacal unit of sub-human parasites
Warped into a feeding frenzy at the smell of fresh blood
Open your eyes and see the creatures for what they are
A swirling mess of hatred and envy
Don't be naive enough to think you're unaffected
The conversion has already begun...
Music: Disturbed
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Okay, I'm already feeling better. I dunno what was wrong with me thursday (re: my journal entry from that day), think it was just tension from things. Last weekend was great, although some things were said and done, it all turned out well... for now. Now again it's up to my patience. And even though Eef (Fragile--) got this in her journal now too, I was already planning to put it in friday, but since I was away that day and couldn't put it in here back then, and seeing I still feel more or less like it, here it is (again):
"I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"
Mood: tired, exhausted , but feeling happy
Music: Story of the Year - Untill the Day I Die
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I gotta say something,
'cause I don't think I made it clear.
I'm in love with you,
powerfully,
painfully in love.
The things you do,
the way you think,
the way you move.
I get excited every time I'm about to see you.
You make me feel like I have never felt before in my life.
Like a man.
I just thought you might wanna know...
- Xander
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"When I'm with her it's like I'm split in two.
Half of me is on fire, going crazy about her.
The other half is so still and peacefull, just perfectly content, it just knows she is the one."
- Riley
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Last Year
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January 09, 2008, 04:55:pm
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Okay, for starters: I'm not a person who makes up his mind in the new year and decides to do things differently all of a sudden. I think it shouldn't take a new year just to make up your mind about things. Whenever you feel a change is needed, you should do it, no matter what time it is.
But since it is a year year after all, I decided to review last year. And damn, now I think back about last year, a shitload of things have changed.
First of all, last year started with the break-up of me and my *now former* girlfriend. That was the start for a lot of dramatic changed in my behaviour, as some people would agree . I wish I'd never done some things. I just wasn't myself for a very long time.
At some point, I even decided "fuck it all, it doesn't really matter what I do anyways". So I started doing things I would normally never do. Most of 'em I regret, but I did learn a lot from that period. All those things i did back then, I'd never do again in my life. But anyways, like I was saying... nothing really bothered me anymore. I decided to give up on everything, especially to give up hope on ever getting some real trustworthy friends.
When I passed my exams however, there came a little hope. Some hope that a new life would start, I would go study Psychology and meet new people. I did have a few friends left, but it just didn't feel right anymore. When I got into an arguement with my best friend, I gave up that hope again. I decided not to let anyone enter my life again...
But then, just at the right time, someone special arrived in my life. She more or less saved my life, the way I see it. She may not think it's true, but she really did. Thanks to her, I got back hope again. Even though I didn't want anyone in my life anymore, for some reason she sneaked in unnoticed. But now she's in it, I never wanna let her out of it again.
I don't know if you people even bothered to read this crap, but I just wanted to say it. Igot the feeling most of you wouldn't even get my story. It sounded clear when I started to write it, I knew what I wanted to tell... yet I don't know if the message got through. Anyways, feel free to comment =)
Kiss
Mood: Waiting for tomorrow
Music: Get Some - Chevelle
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