VampireFreaks.com - roxxiebabyy's Journal

Login Sign Up Browse Users Random Profiles Browse Cults Browse Events Messageboard Chatroom Band Profiles Radio Digital Music Store VF Clothing Store

Go Die Mens T-Shirt

Go Die Girly T-Shirt

Unholy T-Shirt

roxxiebabyy's Journal

Roxies Current Events and Thoughts

Faith & Hope...

June 16, 2013, 11:37:pm

Learning to love yourself is one of lifes biggest
battles... Even to this day, Im still learning to
be okay with the person I am. Sure there are lots
of things I'd like to change but its not going to
change over night and I have to be patient.

When I first realized that I lack the love I should
have for myself, I wanted it to be fixed and quick.
Shortly after, I realized that its going to be a
LONG battle. First step was changing my thought
process, I had to stop being so negative and learn
to appreciate the little things. Of course, everyone
is their worst critic and we are who do the most
damage to ourselves. I learned that even though I
didnt quite believe it, I still had to compliment
myself on a daily basis. At first they started out
similar to "at least I dont look as bad as I did
yesterday" and they gradually got better.

Once you start to feel better about yourself, other
aspects of life seem to get better because you have
a more positive outlook. Instead of saying that life
sucks because you got a flat tire, I started to say
that at least I have AAA and I didnt blow my engine.
Automatically makes things better because life could
be worse.

Some days are good and others just arent. But its a
daily battle and eventually your thought process will
start to become optimistic naturally and you wont have
to try so hard. I also learned that if you have to
much time to just sit around and think, its going to
a much slower process. Sitting at home just thinking
all day eventually was the death of me. I got a job,
or two, and am so busy that I dont have time to dwell
on the negative. And when I do get days off, I enjoy
being able to relax.

Another important aspect of loving yourself is having
a supportive group of friends or family, just a support
system in general. I was lucky enough to have my best
friend to lean on. She would call, ask how I was doing
and immediately know that it was a not so good day.
On many occasions, she would come to my house with a
movie or take me out somewhere to take my mind off things.

Im not saying that you should just avoid the things in
your head but you should definitely not allow them to
control your life. Talking about the things in your
head is important because if you dont vent or get it
out somehow, you'll drive yourself nuts. Find someone
you trust and that loves you but can still offer a neutral
perspective. If the person you vent to is just going to
agree with every thing you say, its counter productive.

Eventually, life will get easier. Bad days will still creep
in here and there but you'll notice them less and less.
The key is realizing that this is an INTERNAL battle and
its up to you to decide that its time to change and do
the work necessary to live your life happily...

ALSO...
If you think you're not capable of being happy and push
away all the good things that come into your life, you're
going to miss out on the beauty of life. Understand that
you can be happy if YOU allow yourself to be. You have
to forgive yourself for the things you've done, start
fresh and give yourself a chance. You deserve it.
Mood: Inspired

() | () Win Fail

>>

leave a comment

yet again...

May 28, 2013, 02:14:am

Not even 4 days after I start my job that
Things turn to shit again. I thought things
Would have gotten better and they were
Perfect until I started working and then
All the sudden he's attached to that damn
Phone again and getting drunk every
Night. Treating me more and more like
Shit as the days go by and the moment I
Come home with tips he demands I give
Half of them to him... I just can't win anymore.

1 comment

maybe one day?

May 03, 2013, 04:20:am

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be enough...
I try and try and I continue to give him all I
Have but nothing seems to be good enough

I know I'll never be the prettiest, skinniest, or
The least complicated girl that he ever has or
Will come across but I am all I have to give.
I have a heart of gold and my personality is
One of the better ones but apparently that
Doesn't go very far anymore...

At what point do you hang on to the little bit
Of dignity that you have left and just bite the
Bullet and walk away?

I'm not sure how much more I can take at this
Point and it terrifies me to think of something
That I've worked so hard for ever the past year
And a half to just end. My heart can't take it
Anymore. It's barely hanging on as is...
Music: conflicted

>>	leave a comment

looking for entries older than a year old? Click Here to View Older Entries