|
|
|
|
romanticlyhopeless's Journal
probably gonna be motly lyrix and poems
|
|
Its an OCD thing(I make lists alot....)
|
June 23, 2008, 10:54:am
|
|
I am going to write a list of things that I need to do
but I doubt any of them will be done
1.Find my nail polish so I can paint my nails
so I will stop chewing on them
2.Fix my sleeping schedule as to not wake up at or around
10pm and go back to sleep at or around noon
3.Pay my father the $500 dollars I owe him so he will stop bitching
4.Get a job to succeed completing number 3
5.Get a life so I am not online so much or making lists of random things
6.Publish my journal so people can finally see my true genius
7.Switch numbers 4 and 6 so the first letters follow suit to the pattern I am creating
8.Start at least making an attempt to not sound entirely insane to everyone
9.Notice that I am right about my life going to hell lately
10.Not stop myself from crying when I think about number 9
Mood: misserable
Music: Hinder-Better Than Me
|
|
|
blah...
|
June 22, 2008, 05:32:am
|
|
Why is there never anyone on at 5 am?
well it is currently ....*looks at clock*
5:30 am
and i am bored out of my mind
i have done what i usually do over the summer
and that is make my sleeping schedule like that of a raccoon
nocturnal.....
if i find something to distract me for another half hour i will be able to watch TV(my parents put time blocks on the TV from 2am till 6am XP...)
so yeah im really bored
XP
Mood: bored
Music: Atreyu-Falling Down
|
|
|
Interogating Myself(ooohh its about suicide...)
|
June 22, 2008, 05:29:am
|
|
Looking over the edge
So many people
I wonder if any of them see me up here
What do they think I'm doing?
What do I think I'm doing?
Looking at the sky
So many clouds
I wonder if it will rain today
Will I get wet?
Will I care?
Looking at myself
So many thoughts
I wonder if they will drive me mad
Will I be sent away?
Will anyone notice?
Looking at my shoes
So little to go
I wonder if I have the guts
Will this be my end?
Will I just turn around and go home?
Looking up at the ledge
So many regrets
I wonder how long I have to think
Will my questions ever be answered?
Will I have to ask anymore?
Looking at the ground
Then it hits me..
All the answers come to me
But i cant hear them anymore
No more questions
Mood: bored
Music: John Mayer-Waiting on the World to Change
|
|
|
this one is insane angry and violent.....but mostly insane...yay!
|
May 16, 2008, 01:10:am
|
|
What You Get
I'm ashamed of you
What you do to the ones you love
All you do is hurt them
How could you?
They didnt do anything but try to help
If you really couldnt help yourself
You should really try harder
No one tries to hurt you
You bring that upon yourself
I hate that you dont see
Why I'm saying all this shit
I cant believe your so fucking blind!
You think you'll go to heaven?
Well go ahead cause I'll be happy in hell
without you
If you had anything to say
you would have said it
when i put that knife to your neck
and you screamed
Oh what a scream it was
It sent chills down my spine
I love your pain
Because once it was mine
Now I am finally giving it back
As your blood pours onto the floor
Its blackish tint shines in the light
and i cant help but stare in awe
Its hypnotising
I love it
But I dont love you
and I never will
Though you think i did
or rather thought
haha
What do you think now?
Your body lays on the floor in my room...
I cant look away it still shines
after hours of sitting, roting
Oh that smell
I know you would have hated it
that makes it so much better
I think I hear something
Oh look
Its them
They are here to take me away
for giving you what you had comming
It was worth it
and i would do it again.....
..haha...
Before they drag me out
I think I'll have a taste...
I'll dip my finger
into the warm liquid at my feet
mmmm
I licked it off
They give me a strange look
Its the only sweet thing that I ever got out of you
and I love it....
I love whats left of you...
Haha
the whole time
I'd been talking
The nice doctor said,
you didn't hear word
He tells me
you were dead in the first few moments....
Ha
I laugh at his assumption
Cause he didnt see the look in your eye
as i was dragged out of that room
It was a look of desired revenge
You will get me back one day
and I'll be waiting
|
|
|
The Music In My Head
|
May 16, 2008, 01:09:am
|
|
The lyrics spin around my head
I dont want them to go away
Cause if they do I will think
and that will lead to my conclusion
that I love you
and I know you do too
At least I hope
But not as much
and that hurts me more than you can ever imagine
I sit around smiling
and dancing to the songs in my head
But behind the music im just another love struck teenager
who has no chance
Though i hope so much that one day you realize
that what you do
hurts me so and you'll stop
You would just look at me with
that smile that i love so much
and say "I'm sorry Dear"
and all will be well in my head
With you back in my thoughts
but me no longer crying about it...
DONT YOU SEE?
I love you
DO YOU EVEN SEE ME?
I love you
YOU FUCKING IDOIT!!!
I fucking love you damnit
oh look
the song changed and once again distracted
for now...
Mood: tired again
Music: what ever is playing on the playlist in my head
|
|
|